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Post by padresfan619 on Jan 26, 2023 3:21:18 GMT
My husbands uncle passed away the week before Christmas this past December. The memorial service is this upcoming weekend.
My grandpa passed away Christmas Day 2020 and his funeral (socially distanced) was on January 6th, 2021. Yea, that January 6th. I’ll never forget.
ETA : my husbands uncle was cremated and my grandpa was buried in a casket.
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finaledition
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,896
Jun 26, 2014 0:30:34 GMT
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Post by finaledition on Jan 26, 2023 4:36:49 GMT
My mom passed in August. She was cremated. We did not hold her celebration of life till November. It felt too long for me and my sister. But my step dad was set on having it at a certain location and that was the earliest they could accommodate. Her death was sudden so it did give us time to process, but it felt like a looming black cloud at the time.
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Post by lucyg on Jan 26, 2023 6:09:55 GMT
My aunt died in June 2020 (not COVID) and after the memorial service was delayed several times, it finally took place in September 2022.
My stepmother died in September 2020 (not COVID) and we held a zoom memorial service a month or two later.
I don’t really think there are any rules you have to follow. Do what works for you.
That said, I think my experience has mostly been funerals held within a week or so, or memorial services held within a few months.
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Post by mikklynn on Jan 26, 2023 14:04:31 GMT
When my DH died, we had to wait 3 weeks for a burial at the military cemetery, so we delayed his services until then. National cemeteries are really busy with the last of WWII veterans, Vietnam era veterans, and delayed services due to COVID. I would have preferred sooner, but it actually worked out for the best with many family members needing to travel.
I think anything goes.
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Post by peace on Jan 26, 2023 15:12:57 GMT
I shouldn't answer this- I have no business cause my family is cray. My dad died August 2019 and my mom wasn't well and had to be relocated back up north to live with my brother and there was so much going on that we didn't get to anything for him (it was then winter and flu season came) and my mom died 6 months after him. We have not done an obituary or a service. My family was paranoid that if my mom's sister found out that my mom had died that she would sue the estate for a stupid reason. And now that that is all over and probate closed and we still have done absolutely nothing. No one seems to agree and they are just perched in their urns on my brother's shelf. It makes me a wee bit mad. With all of that said- I think things are usually announced within a couple of weeks. Definitely within a month. Even if it is scheduled for a later date, family usually lets people know the plan. At least that's what people do that aren't directly related to me Crazy family here too. My beloved grandparents sit in someone's linen closet almost 30 years after they were cremated. Ashes to ashes, pillow cases to tea towels. Here we all lie OH- you just made me feel a little bit better - lol. So ridiculous!! My brother has several acres and a few ponds on his property. One idea floated was sprinkling their ashes in his pond- I was fine with it as long as we put some sort of memorial on the property as well. BUT his wife pooh poohed the idea. She doesn't want their dead bits on the property but I guess she doesn't mind them on the shelf
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,612
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Jan 26, 2023 15:21:22 GMT
It may not have to do with the time of year so much as when the family can all be together - so it could be days, weeks or months. A friend's father just passed away on 01/19 (being cremated) and the service isn't until 02/04 to accommodate family.
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The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,930
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Jan 26, 2023 20:17:55 GMT
We waited about five weeks for my dad's celebration of life. We waited about three months for my son (baby).
These were both cremations/celebration of life type situations. My dad's celebration was at a brewery with open bar, catered food...what he would have wanted, so we needed time and felt we didn't have to rush it.
A lot of my extended family that is more religious, tends to have a funeral right away, but due to travel and wanting to be buried far away in Northern Mn, do an internment/celebration of life a few months later in the summer (assuming it isn't summer).
Overall, most people I know that are religious, have funerals within 10 days or so (with maybe a more informal gathering later on). Those who are not religious, there seems to be more looseness with the timeframe. Most do it within a couple weeks, but I am seeing more people doing what we have done.
I do think it is the norm to announce within a couple weeks when the ceremony/celebration will be. I don't really care when people do the remerberance, but it is nice to know when it will be asap.
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Post by katiekaty on Jan 27, 2023 0:24:20 GMT
My thought probably don’t really matter but here goes. Funerals and memorials are for the living. The dead are dead and gone and don’t know and more than likely wouldn’t care from where they are now if they’re somewhere they go, what you did with there remains. They certainly couldn’t object.so as the living, if you care enough, do something you would. However, if it’s been awhile, lower you expectations for the response as life does move forward.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 27, 2023 3:17:14 GMT
I haven't read past the OP
My answer would be whatever works for the family.
For instance, my grandma died in January of 2020. We had her funeral March 13, 2020...the day before our state shut down (we had no idea that was happening when we scheduled it). We did it at a time that out of state family could come.
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,036
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Jan 27, 2023 4:24:22 GMT
Idk. Ex’s grandmother died and the next day his parents left for a vacation with friends. They suggested grandma could just stay on ice at the morgue for a couple of weeks. Ex’s Aunt however was appalled at her brother’s suggestion, and the cremation and memorial was held that week without vacationing son and DIL. It’s been over a decade since and the siblings never worked it out before aunt died.
In my family arrangements have always been made within the week and people adjust to accommodate. However no one passed during the height of Covid to strain this process.
We did wait a few extra days when my grandmother died the day before Thanksgiving but that was a scheduling issue with the chapel.
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sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,592
Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
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Post by sweetpeasmom on Jan 27, 2023 13:51:01 GMT
With cremation, I think it lends itself to flexibility. My grandmother died May 2020 and was cremated. It was several months (I don't remember when exactly) before my mom and her siblings did anything. And it was only them. It really wasn't a covid thing at that point but for some reason that's how they did it (there was a ton of drama surrounding her death).
My fil passed 9/9/21 and we had him cremated. We didn't do his celebration of life until November. That's just when it worked out for us. Part of it was trying to figure out where to do it. We ended up having it here at our house. We wanted to do it somewhere but it didn't work out.
With an actual funeral, I would say a week or so. No much longer.
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Post by epeanymous on Jan 27, 2023 13:59:03 GMT
My grandmother passed in October. My aunts are holding her celebration of life in July. I think it’s a little late, but wouldn’t rock the boat over it. My husband's grandfather died in November, and his memorial was in July or August (it's been fifteen years, I think that is right). They had a very big semi-destination memorial and it took a while to plan and clear schedules. When my father died last year, he had wanted a military burial, and they were backed up; I think it was three weeks or so between his death and the funeral, and that was with a body.
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Post by compeateropeator on Jan 27, 2023 15:27:36 GMT
Another who thinks there are no rules and depends on the situation and can be done in a variety of ways. Depends on when family can get together, whether it was “expected” or unexpected. Whether they are cremated. And many other things.
I have been to funerals that are few days to a week after the person passes or to memorial services/a celebration of life months to a year after.
I have also been to funerals in the winter and then the burial is in the spring (because the grave can not be dug if the ground is frozen).
The obituary is what I hope is done fairly quickly, especially if I am trying to find out information on what will be held for services, when, and if there is any particular suggestions for donations in memory of.
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Post by bluebird71 on Jan 27, 2023 17:50:04 GMT
So, if you had a loved one that passed and it was a hard time of the year (let's say the holidays) how long would be too long to schedule either a funeral or a celebration of life? (deceased was cremated so no issue with time to bury) In my family and most people I know, it's within days or weeks of them passing. What has been your experience? Most people I know who have passed were Catholic so that is always within a few days. maybe a week. For cremation, if you want to do an internment, it can be done any time. But if you are talking about a celebration of life I seriously would do it as soon as possible.
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