DELETED - Thank you! (Final update in OP)

I’m so sorry. What a mess.

This is super privileged answer, I completely recognize that, but given this seems like a situation that could escalate and become potentially life-threatening, I’d move my kid out, find him a single apartment and just pay the lease through July. There’s some legal risk/liability there but preserving my child’s physical safety would trump that.

Good luck whatever you do ❤️

This is so scary. I have a couple of kids in college right now, and I really feel for you.

I have no idea how to help; I just want you to know I'm wishing you and your DS a very positive outcome to this situation!

ETA: My instinct (which may be faulty) is that you should contact the police, if only to establish a pattern. Nobody should be tased "just for fun." Seriously.

I know the laws vary from state to state, but can your son request a protection order and request an expedited emergency hearing? If it is granted, then your son can request to get out of the lease and the landlord would have to honor it.

A whole lot needs to take place. Conact landlord, contact both city police and campus police, obtain a restraining order, move child at least temporatily. No matter what action you take, it appears the kid will take revenge and that has to be stopped.
Sorry this has happened to your son and hopefully he will come out on top of this scary situation. {{{Hugs}}}

What an awful situation for your son! I can understand how you feel that the situation is hopeless. I'm glad that you got your son out of there. I would be so concerned that this guy's behaviour could escalate. I mean, he's already assaulted your son by tasering him! Who does that? I dread to think what the rest of the disturbing behaviour is, that you said you're leaving out. 

I would definitely report it to the university. I honestly don't know whether I would file charges with the police. I would be so scared that he would come after my kid as payback, if he was arrested, that I don't think I would. Especially as he's saying he wants to get a gun next. 

Good luck with this. I wish we could do more to help. 

I am upset right along with you. This is a horrible situation for your son. Regarding the multiple incidents of breaking into your son's room - for what? What does this kid want? Is it for valuables to possibly sell or just to snoop because he can? That is very disturbing. It would seem this kid has some serious mental issues.

And then the tasing and talking of getting a gun put me over the edge. This kid is unbalanced and dangerous. You need to get your son to safety no matter what the cost.

I would work with my son to contact the police, the university, and the apartment manager/owner to see about breaking the lease due to the threat on your son's life. They may refuse, but you should absolutely try to get them to let him out of the lease.

I would think having your son go to the police station and speaking to them in person, bringing a written list of all incidents that have happened so far, along with the recordings of his threats would be most helpful in learning what they can offer him as far as protection or what they would advise him to do. Can you or your husband go with him?

I would also look into contacting an attorney regarding suing this kid to get your half of the rent through the end of the lease back if the apartment does not release him from the lease. Again, not until your son is in a new safe apartment away from this kid. And this step would depend on how dangerous things are appearing. You don't want to provoke him into taking action against your son.

I would also be tempted to speak to his parents - but only after your son has been moved to safety. They should know that their son is breaking into your boy's room, tasing him, and speaking of getting a gun. That is a threat directed at your son's life.

Does this kid have any classes with your son? Does he know your son's schedule? I think the school absolutely needs to know that they have a student enrolled that is threatening your son and looking to purchase a gun. This is very serious.

Please let us know what you learn from the police, if your son agrees that speaking to them would be a wise move. Hugs. I wish I had some solid useful advice for you.

This is what I was going to suggest. I know in California he could get out of the lease with a restraining order. I assume this is the same in many other states.

This definitely would be a good route to take imo. Is it legal to have a taser? I'd document everything, move him someplace safe and get a restraining order if possible.

I'd hate to have to do it, but i'd get a small loan if necessary to secure other housing for your ds. His safety is too important not to. I'm sorry that this is happening to your family ((HUGS))

I am so sorry about this!

I do have a few thoughts that might help.

1. Of course priority #1 is your son’s safety. Report this to the University and see if they have temporary emergency housing that he can use short term while you figure out his housing situation. We have had situations at my school where students needed emergency housing (such as after a fire), and it was a nominal nightly fee to stay there. I don’t recall the time limit though.

2. Your son should file a complaint with the police ASAP. This is critical for some of the other possible solutions. The police report needs to be as detailed as possible to document the threats to you son and his property. He can also seek a restraining order which can lead to arrest if the roommate violates it.

3. Once you have police documentation, he also needs to contact the University’s student conduct office. At my University, this could lead to expulsion, but more importantly, it would trigger a “care team assessment.” The University uses that process to determine if there is a campus threat, and I can almost guarantee you there is one here. This kid has already taken the step to acquire a weapon, and who knows whether he will escalate to something more deadly. Our CARE team (I’m not sure what the letters stand for) does a very good job of getting mental health care for students who have been referred, and they will work with authorities to get a psych hold if necessary.

4. With all your documentation, go to the landlord to ask about options. Times are tough on campuses all over the US as college enrollment dropped due to COVID, and there are going to be a lot of empty apartments. On one hand, this landlord doesn’t want to be out the money for your son’s half of the lease. On the other hand, they don’t want a bad reputation as a landlord as the rental market softens. Maybe they have an empty unit they can make you a deal on for the rest of the term. They might be willing to drop your son from his joint lease if he is willing to sign a new one, including for next year. The old “keeping a customer is cheaper than seeking a new one” might be a bargaining strategy for you.

5. If your son moves and is still on the hook for rent, you can sue in small claims, although most college kids are judgement-proof. Did his parents co-sign? They can be on the hook as well. If the police investigation shows there is a threat to your son, then he may be able to prove “constructive eviction” in court, which means the roommate alone owes the rest of the rent. Your son may have to continue to pay to avoid ruining his credit, but he does have the option to try to recover it in small claims court.

6. Don’t let this affect your son’s education. If he is working with a CARE team, they can help him reach out to professors for accommodations while dealing with this issue. I hate to say it, but there is a lot of work in being a victim since there are so many steps required to protect yourself. That, plus the stress of this situation, really takes its toll. He needs to use whatever University resources he has available, including academic ones.

I wish you the best of luck with this situation. Feel free to message me here or on FB if you want to talk privately.

<<Hugs>>

Are you serious? You want them to pass the buck on to some unsuspecting new roommate? If things escalate the new person would be at risk. NOT a good idea!

Does your son have a friend he could stay with for the rest of the semester - you are only talking another 3 months right? I know money is an issue but maybe you could pay several hundred dollars a month to the roommate(s) for him to sleep on the couch. His safety is the most important thing. I next would be contact everyone else mentioned...police, landlord (to let him know your son is leaving and for that person to document how the apartment and his room are left in case the roommate decides to trash the place and blame can not be put on your son), and university. This kid sounds like he is mentally unhinged and who knows what he may do. Please give us an update once your son is in a safe place and what you find out. I am sure it could be helpful to others.

Go ahead and delete it now if you want. Your son’s safety and privacy is more important than any Pea etiquette. We’ll all understand if you don’t follow up.

This is my suggestion. Start with the police and they may be able to refer him to a victim advocate who can help him through the protection order process. I would also notify the university. I know easier said than done but it’s a start.