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Post by MichyM on Feb 17, 2023 20:06:28 GMT
EDITED TO ADD 2/21:
Thanks so much for all your responses and opinions, most of them are very much appreciated. I decided what I am going to do and posted about it a few days ago. At this point, I'd like to ask that the peas consider letting this slide off the front page and into pea oblivion. Thank you.
_________________________________________________________
OP:
My niece on my ex's side is having her first child. She and her husband sent the following with the Evite (that it being hosted by the soon-to-be mother's mother):
Although we love your creativity, please help us by purchasing gifts through our registry and send them directly to our home in XXX. This will help us travel lightly. Thank you!
This shower is being held in the soon-to-be mother's hometown, where she and the father lived until about a year ago. They are now cross country, and I'm sure a second shower will take place over there.
I already made a baby blanket for them, and planned to also make a matching cap for the baby. I also planned to send them a registry item too. All to be sent to their new city. After reading the note in the Evite, I'm second guessing whether I should include these items, or save them as a gift for someone else.
Mother-to-be's mom and I did not get along in the past when we were married to the brothers, and luckily I haven't had to see or talk with her in 20 years. I won't ask her.
So, would you include the blanket and hat with the registry item, or save them for another's new baby?
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Post by ~summer~ on Feb 17, 2023 20:09:00 GMT
Yes I would include the hand made items. They are the best! Congratulations to your family.
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Post by myshelly on Feb 17, 2023 20:10:15 GMT
No, I would not include them when that first line seems to very clearly indicate they don’t want them.
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Post by epeanymous on Feb 17, 2023 20:12:13 GMT
I would save them for someone who would appreciate handmade items. Maybe I am too cynical but that invite didn't say "please don't bring gifts in person"--it specifically talked about "creativity."
Sorry that this is my advice! I love making things for babies and am always a little sad when I get an "only stuff from the registry" invite.
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Post by padresfan619 on Feb 17, 2023 20:14:48 GMT
While I see what they were trying to say, that was not a very kind way of saying they don’t want to pack items in a suitcase to take home. Save the blanket for someone who’d appreciate it.
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Post by MichyM on Feb 17, 2023 20:14:59 GMT
No, I would not include them when that first line seems to very clearly indicate they don’t want them. That was my thought as well. But wondered if I'm too close to the situation. |
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Post by ~summer~ on Feb 17, 2023 20:16:26 GMT
I might change my answer - based on their comment about “creativity”. I didn’t really focus on that. That totally rubs me the wrong way.
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Post by MichyM on Feb 17, 2023 20:18:33 GMT
I might change my answer - based on their comment about “creativity”. I didn’t really focus on that. That totally rubs me the wrong way. Me too. I was so excited that as soon as I knew the sex of the baby, I spent $47 on yarn (and many hours) to makes these items in a simple striped design with bright, contemporary, fun colors. |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,548 
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Post by Just T on Feb 17, 2023 20:20:39 GMT
Sadly, I wouldn't. It seems they have made it clear they don't want handmade items.  I'm sure your blanket is lovely, and I would save it for someone who will appreciate it. |
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Post by gar on Feb 17, 2023 20:21:45 GMT
Your time and effort will be far better appreciated by someone else - I would save them 🙂
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Post by mollycoddle on Feb 17, 2023 20:24:49 GMT
Sadly, I wouldn't. It seems they have made it clear they don't want handmade items. I'm sure your blanket is lovely, and I would save it for someone who will appreciate it. This. How sad. A handmade gift is the best! |
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Post by flanz on Feb 17, 2023 20:25:28 GMT
I might change my answer - based on their comment about “creativity”. I didn’t really focus on that. That totally rubs me the wrong way. Me too. I was so excited that as soon as I knew the sex of the baby, I spent $47 on yarn (and many hours) to makes these items in a simple striped design with bright, contemporary, fun colors. Even more reason to hold them for an appreciative recipient, Michy. Sorry it's not these folks... but someone will love them. |
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,872
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Post by tracylynn on Feb 17, 2023 20:27:13 GMT
I thought it was based on travel and was thinking as long as you send it to their home so they don't have to pack it home - yes!
But based on the word creativity, honestly, I might not give them anything. It rubs me the wrong way honestly.
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bethany102399
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Post by bethany102399 on Feb 17, 2023 20:27:52 GMT
1. I read that as we don't want your handmade items. There are so many other, better ways to say we want to travel light, please ship your gift directly to the house.
2. There may be many reasons they don't want a handmade gift. They already have 4 blankets family members made, they're having a girl but don't want all pink stuff, a boy but no blue or maybe they just don't care for handmade. It's bizarre to me that people do this as I'm a crafter too but it is what it is. At least they're saying something and not using your lovingly made item to line the dog bed or throw it in the donate pile. If they're not going to treat it with respect then why give it?
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Post by tmarschall on Feb 17, 2023 20:28:02 GMT
Not knowing the players, I couldn't say, but I first read creativity to mean not being creative in the gifts you choose (to purchase)...as in going rogue and buying stuff off the registry that you then have to make arrangements to ship (whereas the registry makes it easy to purchase and ship without a trip to the PO, and a 2nd set of shipping fees if you purchase online).
Do you have any suspicion that she wouldn't appreciate something handmade? I'm assuming you know her a bit if you were willing to invest time and money making a special gift.
If I made a special gift for someone, I would probably send it in the spirit I intended as I crafted it. I would definitely send it to her home though, as you planned, to avoid difficulties traveling.
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Post by Lurkingpea on Feb 17, 2023 20:28:34 GMT
I wouldn't waste your lovely item on them. That is really a rude invite. I am sorry you went to the trouble to make something specific for them. I am sorry the baby won't get to enjoy it.
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Post by lisae on Feb 17, 2023 20:30:18 GMT
Sadly, I think they are making it clear they do not want handmade items. So I think you should save them for someone who will appreciate them. A registry gift should be plenty sufficient for this couple.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 17, 2023 20:33:23 GMT
I would not send them the handmade items. I got a few handmade items for my showers and those were the few things of my kids that I have actually kept. I am not sure if I would be sending them anything to be honest.
ETA: Maybe a card saying congratulations. That would be very easy to travel with.
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luckyjune
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Post by luckyjune on Feb 17, 2023 20:38:01 GMT
To me, the word "creativity" translates to "We don't want anything but what we put on our registry." So, I'd save what you made for someone who will appreciate your beautiful work.
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scrapngranny
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Only slightly senile
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Post by scrapngranny on Feb 17, 2023 20:40:15 GMT
I wouldn’t consider them handmade worthy. I would find the cheapest, most unexciting on the registry and send that to their house.
This generation is the most demanding, entitled group of people I hope to ever meet. What happened to it’s the thought that count?
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GiantsFan
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Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Feb 17, 2023 20:45:35 GMT
I hate that you spent time making something for them and they don't want that kind of thing. I would save it for someone who would appreciate it.
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Post by padresfan619 on Feb 17, 2023 20:46:05 GMT
I wouldn’t consider them handmade worthy. I would find the cheapest, most unexciting on the registry and send that to their house. This generation is the most demanding, entitled group of people I hope to ever meet. What happened to it’s the thought that count? I am in the thick of baby and mom groups and you aren’t wrong. I’m shocked by the way people demand things from the registry. I didn’t use any of the baby blankets that were gifted to me in the early days, but now that my son is old enough to sleep with a blanket it’s so fun to grab one out of the basket and remember who made it. I don’t remember who got me the generic stuff from my registry. |
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 17, 2023 20:47:23 GMT
I wouldn’t consider them handmade worthy. I would find the cheapest, most unexciting on the registry and send that to their house. This generation is the most demanding, entitled group of people I hope to ever meet. What happened to it’s the thought that count?I have two in this generation and they just don't want stuff they won't use. While I get it, they could just say thank you and move on. (Mine do this.) Then again, this stuff goes straight to the trash or Goodwill. My DILs will look at my china and just not get it. They like to use it at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but they would much rather have had an experience. To be fair, I would much rather have had an experience (or ten) than 13 place settings of china. I agree that the way they asked was pretty crappy though. |
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Post by finsup on Feb 17, 2023 20:51:01 GMT
They’re not worthy. Save it for someone who is…and post a pic on on the craft thread where we will properly appreciate it!
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Anita
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Post by Anita on Feb 17, 2023 20:56:55 GMT
They're not worthy of your creativity. I'd get them a gift card and call it good.
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seaexplore
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Feb 17, 2023 21:08:12 GMT
I'm on the bench with the others who have said not to give them your "creative" handmade items. What a nasty comment! I LOVED everything people took the time to make for my kids. In fact, I've packed the handmade with love things away for my kids to see/have later in life. Those are so much more valuable to anything that can be purchased in a store! I'd probably not get them anything off their list either. Maybe send an e-gift card or something. You know, "honoring their wishes". I'm a snarky vindictive bitch tho so take that suggestion with a grain of salt.  |
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Post by Mel on Feb 17, 2023 21:15:14 GMT
Nope... save it for someone who will appreciate it. I would be really put off by that statement and might not even bother with a gift. Send a card, wish them well.
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peabay
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Post by peabay on Feb 17, 2023 21:18:09 GMT
Your time and effort will be far better appreciated by someone else - I would save them 🙂 Yes, this. And wow, they may be lovely people but they could use some lessons in etiquette. |
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Feb 17, 2023 21:19:50 GMT
At least they're saying something and not using your lovingly made item to line the dog bed or throw it in the donate pile. If they're not going to treat it with respect then why give it?  . MichyM - that invitation must have felt like a kick in the shins! You son is the age that there will be many more babies coming amongst his friends (and your friends' children that age). I would save the blanket tucked away for the perfect new baby in the future. I wouldn’t consider them handmade worthy. Well put! I make very nice baby quilts and there have been a couple of DD's friends who have not gotten them as gifts. In those cases DD told me they would not appreciate them and not to waste my time/money. She is very particular about who gets one! |
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J u l e e
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Post by J u l e e on Feb 17, 2023 21:32:27 GMT
I will turn in my membership card right after this post, but I don’t love handmade gifts either. (I’m generally not a gifts person at all.)
And no matter how it’s worded, someone is going to find fault with what’s attempting to be said. I know crafters put tons of money, time, and love into what they make, but asking honestly, would you rather know that someone doesn’t love handmade gifts or would you rather it line the dog bed?
Signed, a crafter who gets that not everyone loves what I crochet and would rather know
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I'm sure your blanket is lovely, and I would save it for someone who will appreciate it. 
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