Whine: Do you ever get tired

I have been single now for a number of years, since booting my fiancé out of my home several years ago. I am usually just fine with being by myself. I thank my ex husband for that. Back when I was married, my ex basically did nothing toward upkeep of our home. I did all shopping, laundry, yard work, bill paying, decisions regarding insurances and hiring help for anything that was beyond my ability to repair and of course, taking care of our son. About the only thing he chipped in on was barbecuing meat when we had guests. And I still had to season the meat, carry it out to him, take the bloody plate back in to wash and bring it back along with another beer for him. And readying all of the side dishes at the same time. Divorcing him really didn’t change my life to a huge degree regarding daily work load. I was used to doing everything myself and fine with it.

I don’t know if it is me getting older or what, but lately I am really struggling to be the only one to have to do every thing. I have done everything myself for many years, so why the upset now? I’m sure all the work and stress of moving pushed me toward this stage too. I have an ongoing list of what all still needs to be changed and updated regarding the new address and phone number. I need to get my car licensed here and a new driver’s license, and for some reason, this is really stressing me out. And right before leaving California, I took my car into the shop to ready it for the trip and replace my cracked windshield. When I got it back, I noticed an oil leak. I spent the next day at the repair place only for them to tell me there was no leak, it was residual oil dripping from the work they did. Wrong. It is still leaking.
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I have already done so very much, and I am almost at the finish line so I should feel accomplished. But all I feel is dread and resentment. Toward who? Myself? I don’t know. I’m just so tired and that makes my fibromyalgia flare up and puts me in more daily pain. And I already have chronic constant pain from damaged nerves from a failed spinal surgery. So I have two types of pain, and the fibro isn’t helped by the narcotics that I have to take for the spinal pain.

I know that I need to start walking every single day. Mild exercise helps the fibro pain, but pushing myself while still in severe pain to get up and get ready to go out the door is so very difficult. But I need to do it. My son suggested getting a monitor to tell me how many steps I get in each day, knowing that I am a data person that would be motivated to monitor my information. It came yesterday and I am going to set it up this morning. I am hoping it gives me the push I need to stick to my walking commitment. And I will tell the dog we are going out. He gets so excited and won’t let me skip it once he expects it to happen.



Ok. Whine over.

(((Hugs))) to all my fellow tired peas.


And yes, OP, so so tired.

Tired for the week I just finished.

Tired for the week coming up.

And even tired for the thought of the years coming ahead.

Reschedule your lab work and see if someone else at church can take your dad to the funeral. When you have a week that feels overwhelming, sometimes you need to push off a couple of easy things and ask for help for some others.

That’s a lot for the next week. I find it helps me to write down what needs to happen - and then cross them off as they are finished. It makes me feel like I’m accomplishing things and as more items get crossed off, I can see the end is getting closer.

I don’t like to have too many things going on in a given week. I like down time and I like being able to choose spur-of-the-moment what I want to do, so I’d be whining too about all this happening in one week. And I’d definitely be looking forward to getting to the end of the week/list!