RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,748
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Mar 15, 2023 9:47:19 GMT
I just wrote a long post about my niece 19 and nephew 16, then realised that I could sum it all up by saying that they are not productive in their hobbies, but they are curious. I'm not sure how you get kids to try new things, other than exposing them to them.
It's really difficult to know at what point "choice" turns into "life skills", isn't it? We all have to eat, sleep, keep clean, get moving - essentials for optimum physical health. But keeping healthy mentally is so much more complicated.
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Post by Bridget in MD on Mar 15, 2023 18:39:54 GMT
I admit that I rely heavily on screen time with a toddler, especially lately because we’ve had so much rain so outdoor time has been limited. But on days the weather is nice I try to get us out for the majority of the morning until lunch time. I have no interest in getting my son his own tablet but sometimes he will play games on mine. I usually keep it hidden which forces me to do other stuff too! Two of my biggest hobbies are cross stitching and perler bead art, both don’t really mix with toddlers so they’re all shelved for now. I’ll get back to it when little hands aren’t putting everything they find in his mouth. I also enjoy watching tv and reading episode discussions about what I watch on Reddit, it’s screen time but it is still a hobby and I won’t feel guilty about enjoying it. Parents of kids today are expected to entertain their kids all day long, maintain a perfectly ~aesthetic~ home, exercise, make homemade meals, keep up with the laundry, somehow manage to find time to connect with their partner and make time to fill their own cups as well. Oh yea and work full time, commute, etc etc. I’m usually exhausted by the end of the day when I get me time and it’s easier to zone out on my phone rather than be creative. I’ve used up my creative section of my brain coming up with games for my kid since I can’t just send him out on his bike until the street lights come on like my parents got to do with us. padresfan619 I feel you on that so much especially as a working mom. There were times I would tell my DH that he wants a 1950s housewife with a 2020 salary. For those who can do it, more power to you, but for me, something has to give. I used to feel that I had failed as a mom bc my kid did not know how to put herself to sleep. I would have to lay with her and then I'd fall asleep. I'd wake up and the night would be over, so I drug myself to bed. I talked with DH and got him to help me take over bedtime, and teaching her to go to bed, so I could get some things done, whether it was laundry or meal prep or just having some down time for myself. But honestly I was so freaking tired, i wasnt looking to do much! LOL.
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pyccku
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,817
Jun 27, 2014 23:12:07 GMT
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Post by pyccku on Mar 15, 2023 21:31:56 GMT
As a teacher and a mom I want to say that YES - kids are spending way too much time online. It's an addiction and some of them truly have no control over their use. There are adults that have the same problem, but they are adults choosing to do this. The social media companies have spent large sums of money to get people to spend time online. They don't care what is being done while online, so long as people spend as long as possible on THEIR network. I just finished reading The Chaos Machine, which is about the rise of social media and how it has been used for genocide, violence, and spreading misinformation and conspiracy theories. It shows how dangerous the networks can be, and that the goal of these networks isn't necessarily anything good for the societies that use them. One quote that resounded with me was "We are a society, not just a market." This was said by a government official who had pleaded with Facebook to shut off the access to violent-promoting posts on their network as people were getting killed because of it. I have students (I teach high school) who truly can not be off their phones for even 2 minutes. If I ask them to put their phones away, they set them to the side on their desks - but as soon as a notification comes through, they pick it up and then they're sucked in again. I have several students who are literally on their phones the entire class period, every class period, the entire day. When walking to their next class, they are focused on the screen. One girl comes in every day, sits with her headphones on and is on her phone the entire hour. Every. Single. Day. I've talked to mom about it. Mom said "she did the same thing at her old school." Hmmm, you don't say? If only there were someone who could take away her phone...but alas, I can't think of anyone with that sort of power. After asking her to put her phone every day for the past 40 or so days - sometimes more than once per day - I'm done. If her mom is ok with her being on her phone, who am I to say she shouldn't be? I will focus my attention on students who can participate in the class. When we go back next week after spring break, I do have a plan. It's not going to stop them from being on their phones but I would just ask them to be more mindful of their usage. I have a form for them to fill out asking them what they are doing instead of participating in class - playing a game, texting, watching a video, scrolling social media. I'm not going to do anything with the information other than hold on to the forms so that if there is ever a question about "why is my child failing this class?" I will be able to say "he was on TikTok on Monday, playing COD on Tuesday, texting on Wednesday." Most importantly I want the students to recognize that being on their phones instead of being part of the class IS A CHOICE - and it's a choice that THEY are making. If nothing else, just stopping to think about "what am I doing right now? am I embarassed to admit that I've just spent 20 minutes scrolling through TikTok videos? what have I missed out on?" might get them to recognize that they are making this choice.
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Post by padresfan619 on Mar 15, 2023 23:36:01 GMT
I admit that I rely heavily on screen time with a toddler, especially lately because we’ve had so much rain so outdoor time has been limited. But on days the weather is nice I try to get us out for the majority of the morning until lunch time. I have no interest in getting my son his own tablet but sometimes he will play games on mine. I usually keep it hidden which forces me to do other stuff too! Two of my biggest hobbies are cross stitching and perler bead art, both don’t really mix with toddlers so they’re all shelved for now. I’ll get back to it when little hands aren’t putting everything they find in his mouth. I also enjoy watching tv and reading episode discussions about what I watch on Reddit, it’s screen time but it is still a hobby and I won’t feel guilty about enjoying it. Parents of kids today are expected to entertain their kids all day long, maintain a perfectly ~aesthetic~ home, exercise, make homemade meals, keep up with the laundry, somehow manage to find time to connect with their partner and make time to fill their own cups as well. Oh yea and work full time, commute, etc etc. I’m usually exhausted by the end of the day when I get me time and it’s easier to zone out on my phone rather than be creative. I’ve used up my creative section of my brain coming up with games for my kid since I can’t just send him out on his bike until the street lights come on like my parents got to do with us. padresfan619 I feel you on that so much especially as a working mom. There were times I would tell my DH that he wants a 1950s housewife with a 2020 salary. For those who can do it, more power to you, but for me, something has to give. I used to feel that I had failed as a mom bc my kid did not know how to put herself to sleep. I would have to lay with her and then I'd fall asleep. I'd wake up and the night would be over, so I drug myself to bed. I talked with DH and got him to help me take over bedtime, and teaching her to go to bed, so I could get some things done, whether it was laundry or meal prep or just having some down time for myself. But honestly I was so freaking tired, i wasnt looking to do much! LOL. I was complaining to my mom about how I felt like I didn’t have enough time to do all of the things and still feel like I could fill my own cup and her advice to me was that was when she learned to work well on less sleep. I can’t do that, I need my seven hours. My husband and I are good about switching off bed time duties, and I tell myself every night when it’s my turn and I’m so touched out and ready to put him down for the night that some day I’ll be an old lady desperate for one more night with my little toddler. Right now it isn’t my turn to have tons of free time, or meals cooked for me, or the time to sleep in. It will come around again but in this moment I won’t feel bad about putting on the tv when it’s raining and I need a moment to myself to scroll.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,938
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on Mar 15, 2023 23:45:10 GMT
Both my kids played soccer since age 5 through high school and more casually in college. They didn’t have to be forced, they both loved it. My son still plays in his company’s soccer group. Apart from that they have no interest in any other craft or hobby even though they have always seen me with something. And they certainly get their moneys worth out of their internet/phone service!
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 16, 2023 13:27:04 GMT
Parents of kids today are expected to entertain their kids all day long, maintain a perfectly ~aesthetic~ home, exercise, make homemade meals, keep up with the laundry, somehow manage to find time to connect with their partner and make time to fill their own cups as well. Oh yea and work full time, commute, etc etc. I’m usually exhausted by the end of the day when I get me time and it’s easier to zone out on my phone rather than be creative. I’ve used up my creative section of my brain coming up with games for my kid since I can’t just send him out on his bike until the street lights come on like my parents got to do with us. I can definitely see that the amount of stress and expectations on new mothers has been increasing, it is worse than when my kids were little. I just wanted to tell you that you can't possibly handle all of the things you listed. You just don't, as a working mother, have time to handle all of that and take care of yourself. And taking care of yourself has got to be a priority because burnout is real and then you're no good to anyone. Anyway, I just wanted to fortify you. I was a SAHM for 6 years and I still wasn't able to handle all of that. And when I went back to work, my kids were older, but that was a tough transition too.
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Post by candygurl on Mar 16, 2023 13:42:39 GMT
Absolutely yes! My nephew could be on his iPad the whole day watching Minecraft videos or playing games. We limit his time and even I think it’s still a lot. But then I think….I’m on my phone a lot too doing mindless stuff. So I do try and cut back too. I’m so happy I didn’t have phones/iPad, etc growing up ( don’t think my parents would’ve gave us one anyways). I loved my childhood of playing outside and using my imagination. I do think kids are happier and not so mean when not using technology…just what I have found.
I do think it’s harder when they are older as it’s a source of communication. Idk and I’m worried about how we will handle giving our nephew a phone. Probably won’t happen till high school but still.
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