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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 12, 2023 17:15:12 GMT
Do you think kids are just flat out spending too much time on social media and videogames?
Jeremy and I were having a discussion about this last night. We both feel that our kids are missing out on the richness of having hobbies and interests. Our kids range in age from 13 to almost 23. What inspired this post is that the 13 year old played basketball this year and had never played before and we were talking about how great we thought it was that she actually played. Our kids have been hit or miss with some sports over the years. And Chloe dabbled in the violin and Chloe and Esther both dabbled with the guitar for a while. Chloe also played lacrosse in high school for a couple of seasons. But none of it stuck. And Jeremy's middle daughter lightly played piano and ran track a few seasons in middle school. His oldest cheered for a few seasons. And the youngest played softball a couple of years and now one season of basketball. But none of our kids has successfully stuck with anything. And now as two of them are into adulthood neither of them have any hobbies at all. I'm still reserving judgment on the other two.
But we were talking last night about how much time they spend on their phones. And I was like, you'd think they'd want to not only watch TikTok and scroll Instagram but actually make something worth sharing on either platform.
And Jeremy mentioned how he took his girls on a big camping trip in the UP and after a day and a half, their mom came to pick them up because they were upset they didn't have wifi or phone signal.
Jeremy and I are going to Gulf Shores next month and his girls briefly mentioned that they'd like to go. But when we discussed it (the two of us) he was reluctant to take them after that camping trip because he just didn't want to go to all the trouble and expense of taking them for them to sit indoors on their phones the whole time.
Any ideas on how we can encourage them to try some new things? Is this just our kids?
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Post by allison1954 on Mar 12, 2023 17:26:13 GMT
I don’t think it is JUST kids.
I think as a society, we spend way too much time on our phones and computers.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 12, 2023 17:30:30 GMT
I don’t think it is JUST kids. I think as a society, we spend way too much time on our phones and computers. This is probably a bit true as well. I know we have friends who also don't seem to do anything beyond social media and TV either. It's kind of funny because 40 years ago too my dad was just bitching up a storm all the time about how other parents let their kids do nothing but watch TV. I was rarely allowed to watch tv as a child. Maybe this is just the next new thing? |
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Mar 12, 2023 18:15:44 GMT
In a nutshell, yes. I think kids (and people in general, myself included) spend wayyyy too much time online.
We force(d) our kids to do two sports seasons a year (now it didn’t have to be sports, it could have been scouts, chess club, whatever). For our kids it’s mainly been basketball (winter) and track (spring) but sometimes there was cross country, soccer, baseball, whatever in there. They didn’t have to stick with any one thing forever, but if they committed they had to finish the season.
If we left life up to yds (12.5) we’d never leave the house, ever. Last year we went to Disney World (his 3rd or 4th visit) and in one of my less proud mom moments I uttered the words “we didn’t spend all this money for you to sit in the room on your phone”. A day or two later he and I went and did all 4 parks in one day and had a blast (he agreed it was a lot of fun), but given the choice he’d still rather sit on his phone 🙄. This is why we don’t let him make all the plans and force him out of the house.
We had an ice storm a couple weeks ago and were without internet for 36 hours and without power for 24 of them. Ds actually thought he was going to die (spoiler alert: thanks to cell service and a generator he survived).
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peabay
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Posts: 9,618
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Mar 12, 2023 18:23:25 GMT
Yes. And that includes me.
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Post by scrapmaven on Mar 12, 2023 18:27:25 GMT
Screens have replaced hobbies and that always makes me sad. I grew up w/hobbies. My mother did lots of crafting and my sister and I did, too. It wasn't a choice. We just did it and enjoyed it. Nowadays, I see kids on their phones no matter their age or where they are. When we went out to dinner our kids weren't allowed to have screen time at the restaurant. They had to engage w/us. When we were out shopping or doing family fun stuff they were off their screens. I think part of it is parents saying, "no". Part of it is giving them other things to occupy their time that they truly enjoy doing. Peer pressure plays a huge role, too. Even as adults, we're always on our screens, somehow.
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 12, 2023 18:32:24 GMT
I think many people spend too much time online. When I was deep into raising kids, I rarely watched tv or the internet. I was busy. Now I see parents with their faces in screens while they could be actually interacting more with their kids. I also see parents who put screens in front of their kids while they shop. For me, I used all of that grocery shopping time to talk to my kids about prices and ingredients and measuring etc. Both of my kids were so strong in math and I attribute a lot of it to just being exposed to numbers and concepts beyond their age. My kid dropped the milk carton and made a mess? Well that was a discussion about gravity and how it works. Did they grow up playing video games (after 10), yes, but I felt like a gave them a good foundation of how the world works when I was totally in control of their screen time.
I think it helped that they had a father who values sports and we were away from home 2-6 evenings a week. As adults, they still play online with their group of friends (since junior high and high school), but they really limit it since they are all married or have busy lives.
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Post by roundtwo on Mar 12, 2023 18:43:48 GMT
It is definitely not just your kids.
I have said more than once that I am glad I had kids before the internet. That and the fact that we lived in some places that didn't have English television or in others where we didn't have cable helped my kids develop interests that they still pursue now. I have lots of hobbies and activities I enjoy as well.
However, having hobbies doesn't mean we don't spend time mindlessly surfing the internet or scrolling on instagram. At least once a day I tell myself that I need to put the phone/computer down. I look back at the days before the internet and marvel at what I made and how much time I spent outdoors.
My kids are making a conscious effort to put their phones down more often. They don't allow a lot of screen time for their kids (my grandkids) which helps them keep their phones away. Baby steps I guess.
I don't know what the answer is. Some self-discipline would help I suppose, lol.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Mar 12, 2023 19:18:28 GMT
Oh there's no doubt we all spend too much time on social media, so you're not alone. We do stick with no phones at the dinner table - including restaurants as that has always been a huge time of interaction for us. And it's a bit of a mixed bag on vacations - we have deliberately carved out some downtime for them as I know they need to recharge - ha! But also involve them in the planning to make sure there are things they want to do and are excited about - it's not perfect, but we've made a lot of really incredible memories on trips so I'd really think about if there is a way to make that work.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 12, 2023 19:25:11 GMT
I see that this is something many of you are dealing with too. I want to ask a tangential question then...if some of you feel you spend too much time on social media then why aren't you changing your behavior? I didn't expect that response but it seems to me that it is a lost cause to try to address our kids if we are guilty of the same kwim?
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 12, 2023 19:28:58 GMT
scrapmaven said: Screens have replaced hobbies and that always makes me sad. I grew up w/hobbies. My mother did lots of crafting and my sister and I did, too. It wasn't a choice. We just did it and enjoyed it. My dad had very particular ideas about what were acceptable activities to join in. But I joined everything that even remotely peaked my interest. And now that I sit and think about it, I am still that way. Just incredibly curious and willing to try new things. I wonder sometimes if this is just an innate personality thing and maybe my kids don't have it?
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 12, 2023 19:34:06 GMT
roundtwo said: However, having hobbies doesn't mean we don't spend time mindlessly surfing the internet or scrolling on instagram. I'm not saying to buck technology completely. I play online quite a bit. However I have no problem backing away from it to crochet, read, sew, play guitar. Jeremy is online quite a bit (and me being judgy says he spends too much time watching TV too) but he golfs, he has his 4 wheeler, he loves camping, and he's even decided that he and his buddy are going to start racing RC cars in the winter as they found a track about an hour away from here. So I'm not suggesting a total abandonment of it. I'm just saying that there are a lot of worthwhile things to do and I'm not seeing our kids do anything other than tv, internet, and videogames.
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Post by mom on Mar 12, 2023 19:38:58 GMT
Do you think kids are just flat out spending too much time on social media and videogames? Jeremy and I were having a discussion about this last night. We both feel that our kids are missing out on the richness of having hobbies and interests. Our kids range in age from 13 to almost 23. What inspired this post is that the 13 year old played basketball this year and had never played before and we were talking about how great we thought it was that she actually played. Our kids have been hit or miss with some sports over the years. And Chloe dabbled in the violin and Chloe and Esther both dabbled with the guitar for a while. Chloe also played lacrosse in high school for a couple of seasons. But none of it stuck. And Jeremy's middle daughter lightly played piano and ran track a few seasons in middle school. His oldest cheered for a few seasons. And the youngest played softball a couple of years and now one season of basketball. But none of our kids has successfully stuck with anything. And now as two of them are into adulthood neither of them have any hobbies at all. I'm still reserving judgment on the other two. But we were talking last night about how much time they spend on their phones. And I was like, you'd think they'd want to not only watch TikTok and scroll Instagram but actually make something worth sharing on either platform.
And Jeremy mentioned how he took his girls on a big camping trip in the UP and after a day and a half, their mom came to pick them up because they were upset they didn't have wifi or phone signal. Jeremy and I are going to Gulf Shores next month and his girls briefly mentioned that they'd like to go. But when we discussed it (the two of us) he was reluctant to take them after that camping trip because he just didn't want to go to all the trouble and expense of taking them for them to sit indoors on their phones the whole time. Any ideas on how we can encourage them to try some new things? Is this just our kids? I do think that kids (and adults) are on their phones too much. We are much like Darcy Collins and have some set expectations (in life, and not just on vacation)--- no phones at meals, set times when the kids could check their socials, etc. And definitely scheduling things to do that they choose helps them take interest. I also want to comment on what you posted about people wanting to create content instead of just consuming content. I am on Tik Tok and I only consume content there. I go there to relax and destress. If I was expected to create content there I would not go as that is not fun for me right now, at all. I do go to instagram and post there (sometimes), Instagram is not the same type of relaxing for me and is definitely not an escape for me like TT is. I used to want to create content to share but in the season I am right now, thats just not enjoyable for me. All that rambling to say, don't judge people for not wanting to create content on social media. Social media is different things to different people. And different seasons in someones life can look different than yours. Re: how to get them to find a hobby -- I think you just keep encouraging them to try things. I didn't find a hobby that 'stuck' til I was in my late 20's. Growing up, I was in sports because I was expected to be. I raised show animals but I never found joy there. I did cheerleading, drama. Nothing was 'it'. I always knew I was artistic and creative but even trying art lessons, pottery, etc didn't feel right to me. Only when I found scrapbooking did I feel like I was where I was supposed to be. I think hobbies are like careers --- it's easier to figure out what you don't like. And from there, you can narrow down what is something you love. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 12, 2023 19:46:08 GMT
mom I hope you didn't misunderstand me. It was less of a judgement of how people use social media than a comment on the fact they use it enough, why not actually create something for it? An idea really. Maybe it is me being judgemental (and I will totally cop to a bit of that) but I just see how rich various activities have made my own life. And no I'm not still playing softball like I started when I was 7 either.  So longevity doesn't play a part in my judgment either. I just want them to be a little curious about alternative to media activities.
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Post by Linda on Mar 12, 2023 19:52:28 GMT
I think that every generations looks at the subsequent kids and thinks they do too much x and not enough y...society as a whole is moving towards more technology-based activities and interactions in general
Do I spend too much time on the computer? indubitably. But I don't watch TV and all of my friends are online vs irl. And my hobbies have a big online aspect as well (I scrapbook, do genealogy, sew, read).
Does my teen spend too much time on the computer/phone? Quite possibly, probably even. But her classes are all utilising Google Classroom (her school issued Chromebooks this year to every student). Her hobbies are art, digitial art, and gaming...2/3 of that requires tech, the third she uses the computer to research techniques etc... She doesn't yet drive and nor do her friends...they have online group chats and text groups to socialise...I liken that to the hours teens spend on the landline when I was a teen. But she's also active in Girl Scouts in a high adventure troop - they have one meeting a month outside and one activity a month (either a weekend or a day - canoeing or hiking or survival camping or backpacking...) and there's no cell coverage usually.
We're both introverts and use tech to unwind after being 'on' around other people.
Life is different today than it was when I was a teen - some aspects are better, some perhaps not but...I don't think it would be any fairer to judge today's teens by the standards of the 1980s any more than it would have been to judge teens of my generation by standards of the 1950s (when my mum was a teen) or pre-WW2 (when my dad was).
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,462 
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Mar 12, 2023 19:59:08 GMT
We limit our kids' access to tech/phones via an app on our and their phones.
My DD is 13 and her phone doesn't have a data plan, has very limited to no access during the school day and automatically shuts down at 7:30pm.
We got my HS freshman DS a data plan when he started the school year. We have loosened the reins but will shut down his phone if the situation requires.
We also have remote control over their Chromebooks, their log in to our desktop and gaming devices. It is work and sucks at times but parent controls are there if you want them.
But they also have to be taught how to manage their screen time and allowed to do so as they get older. We have slowly loosened the reins as time has gone on.
We also require our kids to be involved in some kind of physical activity year round since they were in elementary. Both of my kids have done dance, soccer, baseball, basketball before settling on swim.
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caangel
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Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Mar 12, 2023 20:11:00 GMT
And Jeremy mentioned how he took his girls on a big camping trip in the UP and after a day and a half, their mom came to pick them up because they were upset they didn't have wifi or phone signal. Jeremy and I are going to Gulf Shores next month and his girls briefly mentioned that they'd like to go. But when we discussed it (the two of us) he was reluctant to take them after that camping trip because he just didn't want to go to all the trouble and expense of taking them for them to sit indoors on their phones the whole time. Any ideas on how we can encourage them to try some new things? Is this just our kids? I think that's ridiculous that the mom would come pick them up. Not sure if that's indicative of her relationship with the two of you. Regarding your Gulf shores trip, have the conversation with them and set the expectation that either there won't be Wi-Fi or limited Wi-Fi or you just don't want them on their phones and see if they can agree to that beforehand. If their mom is also open to a conversation, I'd also try to have it with her and set the expectation that she would not come to their rescue because of the lack of cell service. But I understand that that is not always possible depending on the relationship. If kids know that they can complain and get their way they will do it. We also enjoy camping and have a vacation coming up where there will not be good cell service. My kids know what to expect and have build many skills over the years to entertain themselves without devices (even if they complain about it the whole time, they eventually have fun). |
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dawnnikol
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'A life without books is a life not lived.' Jay Kristoff
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Sept 21, 2015 18:39:25 GMT
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Post by dawnnikol on Mar 12, 2023 20:17:37 GMT
Jeremy and I are going to Gulf Shores next month and his girls briefly mentioned that they'd like to go. But when we discussed it (the two of us) he was reluctant to take them after that camping trip because he just didn't want to go to all the trouble and expense of taking them for them to sit indoors on their phones the whole time. Honestly, I think that's an expectation that needs to be set ahead of time. My kids are not allowed full access to screens 100% of the time, but we've set the expectation that they have XX on the drive down to Gulf Shores (13 hours) and when the battery is dead, it's dead. When we're at their Nana's house, we are there to enjoy spending time with family and being out on the beach. We play a heck of a lot of UNO and Spades and other things, but it's the adults, too. As others have said, it's us, too. We're bored, we take out our phone and check the Peas or IG. Kids see that and know it's okay. Nothing new there, right? As a whole, we could all do with less screen time I'm sure since we have the attention span of gnats (generally speaking, not pointing fingers). It's give and take, but specifically for your trip, I think it's best to lay it out. My kids might still complain at some point about not watching something, but I'm not changing our plans based around a screen and they know it. BTW, Tropic Falls at OWA is open, so that might be a super fun day away from the beach. The outdoor part is supposedly going to open by summer... we'll see. We're going back down when the kids are out of school. |
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Post by Embri on Mar 12, 2023 20:28:58 GMT
This is the world that society has built; teenagers and children just live in it.
Who engineered social media? Who made smart phones and tablets? Who put that technology in their hands? None of that is on the kids. Who killed all the third spaces (not home or work/school), who designed cities that require cars to get around, who paved all the green spaces, who monitors all their activities for fear of strangers/violence? Who spends large swaths of time on their own phones?
We did.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 12, 2023 20:33:33 GMT
Jeremy and I are going to Gulf Shores next month and his girls briefly mentioned that they'd like to go. But when we discussed it (the two of us) he was reluctant to take them after that camping trip because he just didn't want to go to all the trouble and expense of taking them for them to sit indoors on their phones the whole time. Honestly, I think that's an expectation that needs to be set ahead of time. My kids are not allowed full access to screens 100% of the time, but we've set the expectation that they have XX on the drive down to Gulf Shores (13 hours) and when the battery is dead, it's dead. When we're at their Nana's house, we are there to enjoy spending time with family and being out on the beach. We play a heck of a lot of UNO and Spades and other things, but it's the adults, too. As others have said, it's us, too. We're bored, we take out our phone and check the Peas or IG. Kids see that and know it's okay. Nothing new there, right? As a whole, we could all do with less screen time I'm sure since we have the attention span of gnats (generally speaking, not pointing fingers). It's give and take, but specifically for your trip, I think it's best to lay it out. My kids might still complain at some point about not watching something, but I'm not changing our plans based around a screen and they know it. BTW, Tropic Falls at OWA is open, so that might be a super fun day away from the beach. The outdoor part is supposedly going to open by summer... we'll see. We're going back down when the kids are out of school. I want to say that I appreciate the suggestions on things like expectations and parental controls. However, Jeremy is not the custodial parent so sometimes our hands are tied. With that said, we could lay out expectations but I think if we did that, they would have chosen not to go. Just like they opted out of the camping trip. My own kids didn't have access to smart phones or personal computers until they were around 13. That I was in control of. Most of their childhood was relatively social media/videogame free until teenage years. |
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Post by roundtwo on Mar 12, 2023 20:34:33 GMT
I'm not saying to buck technology completely. I play online quite a bit. However I have no problem backing away from it to crochet, read, sew, play guitar. Oh I didn't think you meant to get rid of it, I was just sharing that even though I have a lot hobbies and interests I still spend way too much time online. I think there are lots of good things on line and I find lots of inspiration there for my hobbies but the disconnect for me comes when it is time to use what has inspired me and to stop scrolling because there might be something even better that I haven't found yet. if some of you feel you spend too much time on social media then why aren't you changing your behavior? In my case, it is pretty much a lack of self-discipline, probably related to my ADHD. I try to not sit on the couch until after dinner time so I do have some periods of usefulnes, lol, but once I am down, the scrolling starts. I can be happily working on a crochet project, binding a quilt, doing some painting but then the phone beckons and suddenly it's a half hour later. I know I need to work on it. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 12, 2023 20:35:13 GMT
This is the world that society has built; teenagers and children just live in it. Who engineered social media? Who made smart phones and tablets? Who put that technology in their hands? None of that is on the kids. Who killed all the third spaces (not home or work/school), who designed cities that require cars to get around, who paved all the green spaces, who monitors all their activities for fear of strangers/violence? Who spends large swaths of time on their own phones? We did. This is a very good point.  |
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Mar 12, 2023 20:49:45 GMT
My own kids didn't have access to smart phones or personal computers until they were around 13. That I was in control of. Most of their childhood was relatively social media/videogame free until teenage years. Not singling you out but your kids are at the higher end of the age range vs Jeremy’s kids right? I will say the difference between my 21yo and my 12yo technology wise is HUGE. Same parents, same household, same(ish) rules but vastly different tech background. When ods was a toddler we barely had a flip phone, Netflix was on DVD and cartoons were not on demand. When yds was a toddler he could grab my smartphone, go to Netflix and start watching Dora in the time it took me to get a cup of water. Both my kids got phones around the start of middle school, for ods he was one of the first in his grade to get a phone…..yds he was one of the last. Now we still have limits of course. There’s set downtime, content restrictions, etc but comparing tech usage is an apples to oranges comparison. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 12, 2023 20:51:02 GMT
And Jeremy mentioned how he took his girls on a big camping trip in the UP and after a day and a half, their mom came to pick them up because they were upset they didn't have wifi or phone signal. Jeremy and I are going to Gulf Shores next month and his girls briefly mentioned that they'd like to go. But when we discussed it (the two of us) he was reluctant to take them after that camping trip because he just didn't want to go to all the trouble and expense of taking them for them to sit indoors on their phones the whole time. Any ideas on how we can encourage them to try some new things? Is this just our kids? I think that's ridiculous that the mom would come pick them up. Not sure if that's indicative of her relationship with the two of you. Regarding your Gulf shores trip, have the conversation with them and set the expectation that either there won't be Wi-Fi or limited Wi-Fi or you just don't want them on their phones and see if they can agree to that beforehand. If their mom is also open to a conversation, I'd also try to have it with her and set the expectation that she would not come to their rescue because of the lack of cell service. But I understand that that is not always possible depending on the relationship. If kids know that they can complain and get their way they will do it. We also enjoy camping and have a vacation coming up where there will not be good cell service. My kids know what to expect and have build many skills over the years to entertain themselves without devices (even if they complain about it the whole time, they eventually have fun). We enjoy camping too. I didn't think I would really but on my very first trip, I had to walk almost a mile to get a cellphone signal. And given my kids' situations it was a little difficult to know that there would be a delay in my response if they had some kind of issue but it was actually very freeing for me in a way. I knew I could clock out of parenting (this was when they were 19&20 years old) for a bit without any sort of guilt. I quite liked it. And luckily there were no major problems while we were gone so that was a good thing. |
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 7:44:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2023 20:56:52 GMT
I think phone use for youngsters is something I'm just resigned to. I'm still cross that our generation of parents have had to accept it, but it's here to stay and our youngsters need to be out there to a certain extent.
My 15 year old is very measured in her phone use, but that's all hats off to her and nothing I've done. We don't let her have her phone upstairs, so that helps... she's not super keen on being around us (ha!) so that perhaps sours the experience of going online a bit.
I'm an addictive sort so really watch my own use of social media. I don't have any social media on my phone (I make myself sit at my computer) and have unfollowed everyone apart from family and my own scrapbooking group on Facebook - that was a useful move as it means online time feels productive.
I ditched Instagram last autumn as I realised it was making me feel low... I'm noticeably happier without it, but do notice that I don't take nearly as many photos now, which is a downside for a scrapbooker.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 12, 2023 20:59:26 GMT
My own kids didn't have access to smart phones or personal computers until they were around 13. That I was in control of. Most of their childhood was relatively social media/videogame free until teenage years. Not singling you out but your kids are at the higher end of the age range vs Jeremy’s kids right? I will say the difference between my 21yo and my 12yo technology wise is HUGE. Same parents, same household, same(ish) rules but vastly different tech background. When ods was a toddler we barely had a flip phone, Netflix was on DVD and cartoons were not on demand. When yds was a toddler he could grab my smartphone, go to Netflix and start watching Dora in the time it took me to get a cup of water. Both my kids got phones around the start of middle school, for ods he was one of the first in his grade to get a phone…..yds he was one of the last. Now we still have limits of course. There’s set downtime, content restrictions, etc but comparing tech usage is an apples to oranges comparison. Yes. You are absolutely right about the difference in ages. This makes it a bit harder with the younger ones. And given the fact that we are not the custodial parents of them either. I just wondered if we were alone in our thinking and creative ideas for presenting them with alternatives. I don't want to bag on kids or society or you guys. That wasn't the point. I mean there are days when I spend more time online than others. I spent all of November offline. It was refreshing but honestly I missed the chatting with friends. I didn't miss the news. I didn't miss the politics. I didn't miss the scrapbook pages or the yarn advertisements. But I missed the peas because I like talking to you guys. And I missed the general chat with my friends and family on Facebook. I did not miss all the other crap with Facebook. So really I have found that my use of social media is most positive for me when I'm actively interacting with people I like and care about. I was surprised to hear so many here say that they think they spend too much time online. Because really if parents role model that, then really how do we change the behavior of the children? |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Mar 12, 2023 22:19:26 GMT
My kid does, BUT. All her friends are also online and that’s how they socialize these days. Really since Covid, they’ve just gotten used to hanging out virtually vs. hanging out in person. My kid is kind of an introvert anyway so she prefers smaller groups and needs time away from other people at the end of the school day.
My kid is not athletic at all, sports are not her thing and I’m cool with that. I decided early on that I wasn’t ever going to push her into doing anything she didn’t really want to do. We offered her opportunities to do all kinds of things and if she had no interest in pursuing any particular thing why would I force her (and then have to pay for it too)? She is involved in extracurricular band, is in the stock market club after school and also does volunteer work in order to participate in her school’s honor society. All that on top of maintaining a straight A average in her mostly honors classes is plenty, IMO. She also read a lot and does both digital and physical art, and swims when we’re at the lake cabin. If the kid wants to watch some YouTube and play Minecraft and Roblox with her friends in her down time, I have no problem with that. She doesn’t watch any TV and in fact hates it when that’s all DH wants to do.
I’m not the poster child for physical activity myself, although I did like it when we had an indoor rink where we could go roller skating. (It closed during Covid.) I consume my fair share of YouTube and Instagram, but I have also used those resources to make lots of my own projects and try tons of recipes I wouldn’t have found otherwise. I’m using the internet to learn how to use Procreate and have also taken multiple online classes for different things so I don’t feel like I’m only passively consuming other people’s content. None of my handful of friends are local anymore, so social media is all I’ve got right now.
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Post by roundtwo on Mar 12, 2023 22:23:27 GMT
This article, Why Don't Millennials Have Hobbies, popped up on one of my feeds a while back and I think it is somewhat apropos for this discussion. From the article "...therein lies the problem: I had sought the help of an algorithm to help me figure out how to spend my free time. In my mind, it was easier to get lost in a rabbit hole of content than take the time to discover what might actually interest me. But amid all this pressure to find my hobby, I’ve been asking myself: What does it actually mean to have one, especially at a time when we’re living so much of our lives online?" |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 12, 2023 22:46:50 GMT
This article, Why Don't Millennials Have Hobbies, popped up on one of my feeds a while back and I think it is somewhat apropos for this discussion. From the article "...therein lies the problem: I had sought the help of an algorithm to help me figure out how to spend my free time. In my mind, it was easier to get lost in a rabbit hole of content than take the time to discover what might actually interest me. But amid all this pressure to find my hobby, I’ve been asking myself: What does it actually mean to have one, especially at a time when we’re living so much of our lives online?" Now this was an interesting article. Very interesting. I, too, would say that part of my own persona as a hobbyist is caught up in the hype and feedback via social media. I don't create for profit, hell I don't even create for product really, I have always been someone who values process. But, it would be dishonest of me to say that I don't enjoy the feedback that posting my crafts provides. I also share with my friends because I desperately, desperately want them to share with me. I want to start a conversation mostly. This is part of the reason why I get such a positive feeling in the craft thread or the scrapbooking thread here. It feels sometimes like so many of you, despite the miles away, are kindred spirits to my hobbyist ways. I also can see the toll that working/hustle culture has taken on many of the younger generations. But it has always been a fear of mine, for myself, for others, that if we don't take time to refill our mental cup, then we have less to give in return. And I say this as someone who was married to the most miserable man (exhusband) who worked often 12 hours a day, 6 days a week for years on end. He used to be a gifted musician and ended up being a workaholic, alcoholic. I have used that as my cautionary tale. |
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Post by roundtwo on Mar 13, 2023 16:34:52 GMT
I also share with my friends because I desperately, desperately want them to share with me. I want to start a conversation mostly. This is part of the reason why I get such a positive feeling in the craft thread or the scrapbooking thread here. It feels sometimes like so many of you, despite the miles away, are kindred spirits to my hobbyist ways. I am another who loves seeing what people create on the craft thread - I enjoy seeing the variety and am always inspired by the talent that is displayed. I rarely will post any of my makes though - I am an introvert through and through and I like to stay in the back of the room (and I am also a little paranoid about the ex and his wench stalking me). I think too, I got tired of hearing the old "must be nice to have time to do that" and I just decided that I didn't want to have to justify the way I spent my time - we all have 24 hours, some clean their houses, some of us craft. I do share my makes with a few friends and I often get the "you should sell your stuff" comment. I have seen too many people, like your ex, burn out and not enjoy their hobby once they do that. Not all of course - some do very well and I am always happy to celebrate their success! |
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So longevity doesn't play a part in my judgment either. I just want them to be a little curious about alternative to media activities. 
