Realtor coming today to look at my house.

High value to get a lot of money, get out of there, and start fresh at a place that’s yours alone and not infused with memories of him.

He’s a dick. Every thing like this you can get done - even without his cooperation - is that much less you need to interact with him.

Definately try for high value. As long as you are in this home, he will feel like he has some control over you. Do what you need to do to get this shit show over with. It will probably work out better for you for him NOT to be there. If he is there he will only cause a scene and stress you out. Any questions he has he can direct them to the realtor.

I know keeping the house was a huge concern of yours when shit hit the fan. I really hope you are able to work out a loan that allows you to do that. You've suffered enough without a forced move on top of everything else.

When I went through my divorce, we didn’t have a huge amount of equity in the home yet.  Ex sent appraisers to evaluate everything in the house from the kitchen pots and pans to my son’s furniture.  I told her several things were mine coming into the marriage - namely all of the antiques.  They were the most valuable furniture items.  We then had the house appraised.  He thought I would forget the motor home, jet skis, and his race boat that he took when he moved out.  We settled on a specific dollar amount that each would get if we sold everything and split the funds.  

Once he agreed to that amount, my father wrote him a check for his half.  He was livid.  He didn’t want the money, he wanted control over me and had the settlement written up that my son and I would live in the house and he got a key to inspect it to make sure I was keeping it up.  Then when my son turned 21, we would sell and split the equity.  

Dad knew him too well and wanted him out of our lives.  My attorney handed him the check and he threw it on the floor.  He said he didn’t want it, he wanted half ownership and his key.  Like I didn’t know that.  It took me many many years to pay my father back, and when I made the final payment, I cried in my car in front of his bank where I had made a deposit of the final amount.

Is there any possible way you could qualify for a loan to buy him out?  Or do you have a generous relative that would lend you the funds?  I paid my father interest on the loan, against his wishes.  I told him I needed to at least pay what he was making on it in his investment so that he didn’t lose money by helping me out.  

I would love to see my ex’s face when he learns how much I just sold the house for all these many years later.  It enabled me to pay off all my debts and buy this house outright.  He is living in a rental with his current wife and her 5 kids.  I doubt that he has much savings, if any.  He could have taken that check from my father, invested it, and had a fortune by now.  Instead, his wife blew it on clothes.

I agree if he can't be there why should you?

In my state, child support is withheld by the employer, who sends it to the state. The state then disburses it to the recipient. It stops the sort of fuckery you are dealing with.

Can you call the Child Support agency in your state and let them know he isnt paying? Id also look into deadlines for the QDRO. He is going to delay that for as long as possible.

You said that asshat's lawyer is yelling about this? To whom? To ex? Bite me, if that's the case.  Your dh is late on his obligations. What does your lawyer say about that? I know that you want to save money and probably don't want to involve your lawyer unless necessary, but you might have to at some point.

Clearly, your ex is flat broke and needs the money from the house. Odds are that his happy homewrecker isn't so happy. She's likely nagging him to get the money. Too bad. So sad. Don't let him push you. Call the mortgage guy that your realtor recommnded and start there. Your dh can't stop you from buying your house, though he might try, just cause he's an asshole, but you are allowed to buy your home. In that case you want the lowest price possible. Can you deduct the money he owes you from the payment to dh for his half? That would make it even better.

Does this make him in contempt?

Just curious. Why not? After all he has done. This is money that goes towards your kids.

I hope things go your way, in regards to you retaining your home.

I too am wondering why, you are being lenient in regards to the child support. It is court ordered. File the paperwork to have it garnished or auto payed.
He's already proven his asshole behavior. If you let it slide this time, he will think he can get away with it every time. Stop being nice. He owes it, make the collection happen!

From all the posts I've read, I'm guessing she likes the drama.  This could have been settled a long time ago but instead there's always some drama filled post.

I think it's her ex that likes the drama.