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Post by peanuttle on Dec 10, 2014 18:34:32 GMT
Finally an update (6/25/15)
FIL had told DH back in December to send him the amount and he would send a check. DH texted FIL the amount (~$750) and never heard back. He texted again a month or so later to see if he had received the text and FIL said yes. Still nothing. As you can imagine, I was fuming.
Fast forward to earlier this month and MIL and FIL were in town and SIL planned a weekend trip for everyone. When we got home DH told me that FIL gave him a check, however it was only for $400! Can you believe that?!? Not explanation, nothing, just shorted us $300+. Sadly I'm not surprised and just glad we got something because at that point, it thought it was a lost cause.
***Link to picture on page 5
We have a situation with my MIL and a chair and I don't know if I am looking for advice or just need to vent. Either way, I thought the peas would enjoy this doosy.
DH bought his parents house 20 years ago (before we were married) when they moved to another town close by. When they moved MIL and FIL left tons of stuff in the garage and the attic (i.e. paperwork, small furniture, etc). Basically stuff they did not want to have to move with them and DH later had to dispose of.
Well, there was this chair. It is a small, low sitting wood frame chair with upholster cushions that his parents had moved from their prior home and had sat in the attic since DH was a child. Over the past 10+ years, DH has asked his parents (who have since moved across the country) about the chair and it went from yes, we want it, we will have it shipped to us, to no, we don't want it. A couple years ago we sold the house and DH again asked his parents if they wanted it because if not, this was our opportunity to either toss it or use it in our house. MIL said no, we don't want it, toss if you don't want it.
DH decides he wanted to use it, so we had it refinished and picked out a cool fabric to have it reupholstered. The fabric is quite unique and we had other pillows and curtains picked out to go with the chair and coordinated our living room colors and style around the fabric. We spent over $600 on this chair, which is a little crazy, but I knew it had sentimental value to DH.
DH's parents have only been to our house one time since we moved and DH was excited to show them what he did with the chair. They were a little passive and I though it was strange, but so are they, so whatever. Fast forward to a few weeks ago and we saw his mom at a family party and she told DH she was upset because she want the chair. She said he must have misunderstood because she never told him she did not want it.
I was livid when DH told me. First because MIL rarely calls or talks to DH, it's totally a one-sided relationship, and the first time she sees him in months, she has to tell him she is upset about the chair and has obviously been harboring this for over a year. Second, this chair is special to DH because of the sentimental value and link to his family. His parents show favoritism to a couple of the siblings and grandchildren and have given them several pieces of furniture over the years. In addition, FIL gave SIL's husband his train set from childhood that DH has expressed over the years he would love to have.
I am just disgusted at how these people act. DH and I agreed we will give them the chair and they will pay us for what we put into it, but it just makes me sad for DH that his mom is doing this.
Some people...
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439 
Location: Idaho
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Post by perumbula on Dec 10, 2014 18:36:59 GMT
Don't give her the chair! She had 20 years go go get it. She didn't. She can get over herself.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,370
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Dec 10, 2014 18:37:00 GMT
Why give it to them? I wouldn't. They made it clear several times that they didn't want it. Let them deal with the loss and disappointment of their decision.
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Post by annabella on Dec 10, 2014 18:38:36 GMT
It's a new chair now, I would just never mention it again and she might not even bring it up.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 4:30:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2014 18:39:49 GMT
I wouldn't give it to them. She has had many years to get it. She has been asked several times. The most recent decision was "I don't want it." Now that it looks better, she wants it? Um, no.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 4:30:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2014 18:39:48 GMT
Awww, I feel bad for your DH. Definitely make sure they pay you for the reupholstery costs and shipping. Until you have the money in your hands, the chair stays in your home.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Dec 10, 2014 18:40:07 GMT
It's your chair, you did the work on it. She had her chance and blew it. I would think it's more of she wants to be mean than actually wanting the chair. But if you do sell it to her... don't forget to double your costs and recoup your money. Artisans do not sell their work for cost only... just sayin'  |
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,391
Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on Dec 10, 2014 18:40:24 GMT
I wouldn't give it to them. It was 20 years ago, she is just being mean.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Dec 10, 2014 18:40:37 GMT
I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for the check and arrangements for shipping. Sounds like she's a nutter that wanted to bitch to your DH about something and decided it was the chair. If she shows up with $600 and wants the chair, I'd say good riddance. Unfortunately any sentimental value your husband might have felt for having the "family heirloom" has been soured by his mother.
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,985
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Post by blue tulip on Dec 10, 2014 18:43:06 GMT
I suggest you give it a few months, at which time she'll likely decide she doesn't want it.
seriously, don't give it to them. |
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Post by eebud on Dec 10, 2014 18:43:52 GMT
I would NOT give them the chair. They had opportunity to get it for many years. They said they didn't want it.
I have a sail fish that my grandfather caught when I was a kid. He had it mounted. This was in the day that part of the actual fish was used in the mounting. My dad never took it. My brother eventually asked me if he could take it to his house because he had a wall that needed something and he wanted to hang it. I told him that was fine. Eventually, he married and his wife didn't like it so it got moved to the outside shed. Needless to say, it would have been ruined if it stayed there. DH and I brought it home and we hung it over our fireplace. It hung for about 12 years in our old house. It never looked great though because my grandfather was a very heavy smoker and it had layers of smoke grime on it. When we built our new house, we took it to someone who could refinish it. We paid about $600 or $700 to have it refinished. It now looks awesome! I told my brother and my dad that they can never have it back since I paid to refinish it. Both were fine with that. But, they had many years to get it if they wanted it and they never did. It is now mine.
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Post by oliquig on Dec 10, 2014 18:44:29 GMT
I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for the check and arrangements for shipping. Sounds like she's a nutter that wanted to bitch to your DH about something and decided it was the chair. If she shows up with $600 and wants the chair, I'd say good riddance. Unfortunately any sentimental value your husband might have felt for having the "family heirloom" has been soured by his mother. Yeah, I wouldn't send it until the money was in your hand. Plus it's a sucky thing for them to do |
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Post by Zee on Dec 10, 2014 18:44:56 GMT
No way on God's green earth would I GIVE her my $600 chair that she had over 20 years to get herself. And I certainly wouldn't expect a check for it. I'd just not bring it up again.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 10, 2014 18:47:44 GMT
I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for the check and arrangements for shipping. Sounds like she's a nutter that wanted to bitch to your DH about something and decided it was the chair. If she shows up with $600 and wants the chair, I'd say good riddance. Unfortunately any sentimental value your husband might have felt for having the "family heirloom" has been soured by his mother. I agree with this. |
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Post by peanuttle on Dec 10, 2014 18:48:04 GMT
My first response was F+#* her. I was so pissed off. She has pulled a lot of crap over the years and I can barely look at her as it is, but this was the last straw. DH is pissed too and just wants her to take it and be done with it, but I know it is hurtful to him.
I told him that I want 100% of what we paid for the work and I am not shipping it to her. To find a chair to replace it, it will most likely have to be special ordered. I mean, literally, it took us a long time to find the perfect fabric and then we bought a couch and another chair, had pillows made, etc to coordinate with this chair!
She is in town (staying at SIL's) until Christmas and I told DH to tell his dad to send us a check for the full amount and we will take it up to his sisters house and dump it off. Hell if I am shipping that thing across the country.
Honestly, I don't get some people. Is it really that hard to be nice and kind? I find it quite exhausting to be a B*tch!
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MaryMary
Pearl Clutcher
Lazy
Posts: 2,975
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Post by MaryMary on Dec 10, 2014 18:48:37 GMT
Keep the chair. She said you could.
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Post by kmk1112 on Dec 10, 2014 18:51:47 GMT
I'd be shocked if she was wiling to pay you back for the work you put into it, so I'll bet you get to keep it if your DH tells her "Sure you can have the chair. We put in $600 to the refurbishment, so you can send me a check for that, and if you want to include the shipping cost of $X in that as well, I'll get it shipped right out to you. I'm sorry we had this misunderstanding, I wouldn't have put the money into it if I had understood that you wanted the chair."
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Dec 10, 2014 18:52:24 GMT
i would play the passive aggressive game right back.
OH yes we plan on giving you the chair, but we need to find one to replace it.
Yes we will get the chair right to you.
Now is a good time... well Tommy has his heart set on sitting in THAT chair on his birthday, maybe you can get it sometime after that!!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 4:30:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2014 18:52:32 GMT
Don't give her the chair! She had 20 years go go get it. She didn't. She can get over herself.  |
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Post by epeanymous on Dec 10, 2014 18:56:28 GMT
I think the odds she is going to write you a check for $600 and pay to ship that thing to herself are zero.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Dec 10, 2014 18:56:58 GMT
Honestly, in that situation, I would like to think I would tell her to stuff it and keep the chair. But in all actuality, I would most likely give it to her just because she's a petty bitch and I don't want to respond in kind.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,331
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Post by amom23 on Dec 10, 2014 18:58:44 GMT
Hell no would I give her the chair. I'd just ignore that conversation and go on with life.
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 10, 2014 19:00:31 GMT
Ugh, you are in a "can't win situation". I'm sure MIL loves what you have done to the chair and that is the only reason she wants it now, but I'm sure she will complain about how you didn't ask her before reupholstering it, etc., so you will always have that strike against you even if you do give it to her.
I would just say no, it is too late. The chair was abandoned for 20 years and if they had really wanted it, they would have made some effort in that time to retrieve it.
ETA Don't take it the SIL's house. It will sit there for another 20 years.
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Post by papersilly on Dec 10, 2014 19:11:04 GMT
I wouldn't give it to them especially after they specifically told him to toss it and after all these years of having nothing to do with it.
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Post by maryland on Dec 10, 2014 19:11:09 GMT
I usually take the in laws side, but this time I don't. She sounds mean and manipulative. I wouldn't give her the chair. If don't have much of a relationship with your husband, I would just ignore their request. If I was your husband, I would take a break from them for a while. He has tried his best (many son's ignore their parents once they get married, and your husband is trying to keep them in his life. I can't believe they are treating him like this). He sounds like a great son, and they sound like not so great parents. Keep the chair! It means a lot to your husband and you all spent a lot of money on it. If they wanted it, they would have taken it a long time ago.
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Post by ChicagoKTS on Dec 10, 2014 19:16:39 GMT
I think I would give her the chair only because otherwise every time I looked at the chair, it would make me mad. It would be like reliving the angry and hurt over and over. But out of sight, out of mind. My peace of mind is worth more than the chair.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,612
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Dec 10, 2014 19:20:04 GMT
Honestly, I'd say "sure, if you give me a check for $600 to reimburse us". They're never going to write that check and you keep your chair. But be prepared that they'll hold it over you forever.
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Post by bluepoprocks on Dec 10, 2014 19:21:46 GMT
I wouldn't give it to her.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 4:30:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2014 19:22:11 GMT
If it were my mom she wouldn't be getting the chair.
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on Dec 10, 2014 19:23:19 GMT
We bought our house from my dad 11 years ago. Anything that's still left here are ours and have been for a long time. If she wants the chair back tough. Or offer to sell it to her for some crazy amount (that's what I just did to my dad for the gym/weight set he left behind... totally as a joke but my dad knows he left it here so it is no longer his).
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