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Post by tmarschall on Apr 30, 2023 0:43:49 GMT
My dd's were in dance so no shouting went on. . (Bitchiness though!) Here in Canada, the big sport is hockey ... hockey dads ... and especially hockey mums! They get out of hand at times. Glad I didn't have kids in that sport! Sorry you sometimes have a bad experience! Yeah, dance moms are their own special breed. I was the dancer, not the mom, and my mom did not come to watch or participate. But I saw the passice-aggressive underhanded stuff. Occasionally we'd have a mom trying to give corrections from her seat while we were in class, and while she had her own Abby Lee issues, she did shut that shit down pretty quick.
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Post by tmarschall on Apr 30, 2023 0:46:37 GMT
I hate that the referees allow that tmarschall! Chloe played high school lacrosse. One time at a game the away teams parents were yelling and screaming and just acting like giant assholes. The referee came over and told them if they didn't shut up, he was calling the game and their side would have an automatic loss. I was like, you go dude. I've just returned from the hardware store. There was a break in the rain and Jeremy decided this needed to be day that we pick out new screen doors. My back screen door was broken by Chloe on a tirade a while ago, before Esther died even. So I'm glad to have that one replaced finally. And I have to say there is nothing wrong with my front one except that it is cheap and old. We bought one of those full glass ones so you can finally see our gorgeous interior door. I'm glad to see that cheap one go as I've hated it for all the years we lived here. But I do have a bit of guilt about getting rid of something that is operational. That makes me feel wasteful. That's what happened the other day...the ref said one more thing and he'd kick them out, that there was a shortage of refs because of people like him, and they've begun cancelling games because of it. He directed it at Michael's dad, and I was shocked he didn't dish anything back because I think that round of comments came from another dad. I guess since the other 99 times he got away with it he decided to take it and pipe down that day.
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Post by tmarschall on Apr 30, 2023 0:49:26 GMT
It’s been a busy Saturday so far. We went to two soccer games this morning. I then went to the gym. The day started off sunny but now it’s turning cloudy and will start raining in a few hours it sounds like. I went with DH to his parents last night. I can’t believe how much my MIL has declined since I saw her last. I am afraid DH and his siblings need to get together and have a real talk with their dad. At age 88 he can’t keep up with her care. It’s heartbreaking. I think I am going to go for a short walk. jeremysgirl, I am getting a head start on your challenge. Walk a mile with no distractions and see where my mind takes me. Our employee party is tonight. It is at a local restaurant. I can’t even remember what I put on the menu. It will be a surprise. I'm sorry about your mother in law, stormsts. That's very hard. Also, I hope your birthday dinner was wonderful, leannec! Did you eat dumplings?? 😁
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Post by scrappintoee on Apr 30, 2023 0:51:23 GMT
leannec...Have a fun birthday din-din, and I hope you get your health and happiness back with this much-needed break ! Does that ever happen to anyone else? Like you just read something and finally the dots all click and you figure out how it applies to current society and then suddenly your feeling nihilistic? No? Just my brain then? 🤣 Nope---I'm the same way! And, to be honest, many things make me feel utterly hopeless (example-- guns, plus allll the other crap the GOP is doing!) Also, I've had some recent revelations about why I handle things a certain way due to childhood trauma. It's very enlightening, and helpful but also HARD to face! The one thing I like about facing difficult things is that I would hate to constantly be in DENIAL like so many of my loved ones. They like to pretend everything is *happy* and *perfect!* Actually, there are times I WISH I could be in denial (like my older sister). Must be nice to actually believe everything is FINE! I've been to therapy many times, and now I'm looking for a new therapist, but it's sooo exhausting to find the right one! I also suspect my SSRI has stopped working. Wow, didn't mean to type a novel full of ennui. At age 88 he can’t keep up with her care. It’s heartbreaking. (( hugs)) Yes, it is very heartbreaking! I still cry over all the "what ifs" with my Dad's end of life. he bought a 60's era slide projector with a screen for $30! He is so excited because he has boxes of his dad's slides that he wants to view with his sister. That's so cool! @tmarschal....That is just HORRIBLE! I've been to tons of athletic events, and never saw any of that....what a HORRIBLE way to ruin kids' love of sports! Do these idiot parents ever stop to think how this is AFFECTING the kids? If it were me, I couldn't stay. When I hear people yell in public lately, my FIRST thought is ....GUNS! We were grocery shopping and a few people were SCREAMING at each other==I was so terrified it would end up with shooting. It didn't, but sheesh...nowadays, it's too scary! P.S...loved the sweet pik of you & Nick with your home-run guy! if you were caught yelling at the officials.. you had to volunteer to officiate 3 games (with trained backup)...make them do the work and they won't be yelling again. AWESOME! Just have fun. It's a game. No one's curing a major disease here. AMEN!
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Post by tmarschall on Apr 30, 2023 0:52:25 GMT
When my sons were little sports were all about teamwork and supporting one another. Still, some of the parents were intense. One family followed their son out of state to college. I couldn't handle talking to them for any length of time, because they were stressful people. Just have fun. It's a game. No one's curing a major disease here. [br Exactly this! Also, stop trying to live your life thru your kids. You had your turn at stardom (haha). Maybe get something going in your life so the most important thing you've got is whether your kids dropped a ball.
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Post by tmarschall on Apr 30, 2023 1:01:11 GMT
I have turned most the family slides into digital format, labeling them and the kids enjoy them.. lots and lots of climbing slides!! and 8 mm movies of skiing and taking long hikes in the cascades or olympics.. I saw an article last week about someplace where if you were caught yelling at the officials.. you had to volunteer to officiate 3 games (with trained backup)...make them do the work and they won't be yelling again. Funny, Nick sent me that article the other day and they talked about it on NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me today. I think that's GREAT. Although Michael's dad made some remark about how one of the coaches were "who they picked instead of me [him]." He would have been a NIGHTMARE as a coach. Apparently he did coach tball or little league back before I was on the picture. Maybe he was nicer to the boys when they were little. I can't even imagine what it would have been like for Michael or the other boys if these dads were coaches. I can hear it on the bus ride back: "dang, your dad is MEAN!" And then: " yours, too!". 😳 The thing is the 2 dads who were arguing and calling each others' kids out are friends. Being obnoxious to each other. But the boys are friends too, and even when one made a bonkers play, they were still fist bumping and supporting each other. Adults could learn a little from these kids. Sorry for the novel and multiple posts today!
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Post by scrappintoee on Apr 30, 2023 1:03:13 GMT
Yeah, dance moms are their own special breed. I was the dancer, not the mom, and my mom did not come to watch or participate. But I saw the passice-aggressive underhanded stuff. Occasionally we'd have a mom trying to give corrections from her seat while we were in class, and while she had her own Abby Lee issues, she did shut that shit down pretty quick. Two of my sweet "niblings" (LOVE that name for nephews and nieces!) were in dance for many years. I loved seeing their performances! One was exceptionally talented, and was considering ballet in college and possibly as a career. I don't know if my sister or sister-in-law dealt with dance mom DRAMA, but they probably did. Speaking of facing the TRUTH about ourselves, do you ever wonder if these parents stop and think to themselves that they're living vicariously through their children and need to STOP being so dramatic and let the dance teachers, coaches, umpires do their job?
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 30, 2023 1:03:39 GMT
The trick scrappintoee is to be able to feel it deeply and then to let it go. Not to deny it but not to ruminate on it either. My morning musings were with me for about 4 hours. I put my book down and I filled my brain with something different.
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Post by scrappintoee on Apr 30, 2023 1:03:54 GMT
Exactly this! Also, stop trying to live your life thru your kids. You had your turn at stardom (haha). Maybe get something going in your life so the most important thing you've got is whether your kids dropped a ball. HA! We were typing at the same time!
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Post by tmarschall on Apr 30, 2023 1:07:36 GMT
[quote timestamp="1403757553" source="/post/3924339/thread" a Speaking of facing the TRUTH about ourselves, do you ever wonder if these parents stop and think to themselves that they're living vicariously through their children and need to STOP being so dramatic and let the dance teachers, coaches, umpires do their job? I bet they do not. Everyone loses their temper once in a while, but when it happens a lot of the time, and your wife is embarrassed to sit with you, I'm betting self-awareness or reflection is not his strong suit. Also, while I'm on a roll, how are you going to trash your own kids/team? If you aren't going to encourage them, then who? ❤️
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Post by scrappintoee on Apr 30, 2023 1:14:35 GMT
The trick scrappintoee is to be able to feel it deeply and then to let it go. Not to deny it but not to ruminate on it either. My morning musings were with me for about 4 hours. I put my book down and I filled my brain with something different. YES!!! Ruminating is one of my WORST traits !!! And I DO try to do something or distract myself with music, cleaning, cooking, etc. BUT, many times, it doesn't work. My biggest problem lately is that SO MANY THINGS remind me of the doggies and humans I've lost recently. I'll be in the kitchen, very happily diving into a challenging recipe, realizing how thankful to be able to cook / bake (even though everyyyything is physically painful). But I IGNORE the pain and try to focus on GRATITUDE! Then, out of nowhere, something will fall on the floor and it hits me that there aren't any sweet doggies to come and see what it is, annnnnd, the tears fall AGAIN.
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Post by scrappintoee on Apr 30, 2023 1:41:13 GMT
....on a POSITIVE note (for a change ) After a rough day, sometimes silly reality TV DOES help me. Annnd...DH and I watch "Columbo" almost every. single. night and we always laugh and enjoy his eccentricities, etc. I especially love the episodes from the 70's because of the FASHION, hairdos, etc! Once we can travel again, visit family again, go to restaurants, do things with my friends, walk around stores again (ugh, I MISS that!) , etc. things will be much better!
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Post by leannec on Apr 30, 2023 1:50:25 GMT
Also, I hope your birthday dinner was wonderful, leannec! Did you eat dumplings?? 😁 It was a great dinner! I met Molly's (relatively new) boyfriend for the first time and he is so nice! He cleared the table! And I definitely ate dumplings!
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