Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,664
Jun 25, 2014 19:33:19 GMT
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Post by Rhondito on May 14, 2023 13:08:34 GMT
He wouldn't have to tell me twice. I'd cut ties and move on, and not even try to hold onto the pretense that we're in a long distance relationship.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on May 14, 2023 13:15:09 GMT
Time to let go of the wrong one so she can heal and be open to meeting the right one.
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Post by mikklynn on May 14, 2023 13:49:43 GMT
He wouldn't have to tell me twice. I'd cut ties and move on, and not even try to hold onto the pretense that we're in a long distance relationship.
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Post by craftedbys on May 14, 2023 14:00:04 GMT
What's the male equivalent of Felicia? Cause that's what she should say.
Just walk away. Or skip, saunter, trot, mosey, or sashay away.
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,618
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Aug 29, 2014 18:57:20 GMT
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Post by hannahruth on May 14, 2023 16:57:07 GMT
If he's been doing back and forth, long distance....my guess is that he doesn't want to commit because he's probably got a significant other....in the other country as well as here. My thoughts exactly. Time to move on as hard as that is.
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Post by Zee on May 14, 2023 17:25:17 GMT
What's the male equivalent of Felicia? Cause that's what she should say. Just walk away. Or skip, saunter, trot, mosey, or sashay away. Felix
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Post by ~summer~ on May 14, 2023 18:24:04 GMT
I agree with you. Sounds like they are breaking up.
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Post by Scrapper100 on May 14, 2023 18:31:37 GMT
Ouch. Cut your loses at this point.
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Post by melanell on May 14, 2023 22:08:08 GMT
For the friend's sake I'm sorry to say this, but I completely agree with you. This just doesn't sound like a relationship that's going in the direction they want it to be going.
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Post by peasapie on May 14, 2023 22:30:02 GMT
They’re both still quite young. It sounds like she made up her mind to follow him there without it being a mutual agreement. He’s not ready for a serious commitment and certainly her moving after him would present obligations he’s not ready for - and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with his honesty.
She should pursue her own interests for career or life.
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,830
Jun 26, 2014 12:56:40 GMT
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Post by CeeScraps on May 15, 2023 1:10:22 GMT
He has moved on. She needs to do the same.
Maybe after he finishes school things will be different but don't wait for him. People look more attractive when they aren't available.
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Post by gizzy on May 15, 2023 2:15:09 GMT
It's time for her to move on.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,512
Member is Online
Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on May 15, 2023 4:31:36 GMT
This is a relationship that has run its course. Is she feeling upset about this?
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,856
Jun 29, 2014 1:56:04 GMT
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Post by teddyw on May 15, 2023 11:58:50 GMT
She should walk away.
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Post by 16joy on May 15, 2023 14:20:46 GMT
Never give a man a second opportunity to tell he doesn’t want you. She’s fortunate he was upfront and she won’t waste any more months or years with him. There are many men that are a better fit for her and she can now match with one of them.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,763
Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on May 15, 2023 15:34:30 GMT
She is not Mrs Right, she is Mrs Right Now. Cut you losses and run. In the long run she will be thankful to have dodged a bullet.
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Post by peace on May 15, 2023 15:36:14 GMT
now the guy could have a light bulb moment and be like "I don't want to lose you!" etc BUT he isn't there now. So I would move on. If for some reason he changes his tune and she is still available- then it's a maybe. But for now, I would say she should definitely take it as a "you aren't IT for him right now" and cut her losses. 25 is an age where they really start to reevaluate and he just isn't where she is. I also predict he will eventually regret that. But that's ok, too.
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Post by sillyrabbit on May 15, 2023 15:56:26 GMT
If she's ready for the next step and deep in love then I would advise her to cut her losses and move on. If he doesn't feel the same way after 3 years then he's probably not ever going to. Continuing the relationship is just gonna cause her pain.
If she's cool with casual and likes hanging out with him then I'd advise her to define their relationship as such and enjoy things while keeping her eyes open for someone else. I probably couldn't do that myself but lots of people enjoy casual relationships. There's nothing wrong with that if that's what you want.
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Post by Lexica on May 15, 2023 16:58:02 GMT
I hope she is able to take some lessons from this as she moves forward. I remember telling my son the same thing after his first heartbreak. Not every relationship is meant to go the distance. We change as people and what we want and need from life changes as well.
Dating is meant to try on various personalities, both for yourself and your partner. Yes, there are some fortunate people who get together young and remain happy for the rest of their lives. They were fortunate to grow in the same direction. But not every couple does. You should carry with you the things you liked and look for those traits in the next partner.
I reminded my son that his father and I met at 12 years of age and should have never married because we became such different people as we grew up, absolutely unsuited for each other. And unfortunately, he was caught up in our mistake as well. And as he grew up and dealt with each breakup, he admitted it got much easier and he was able to see more clearly why each relationship did not work out. He eventually found a fantastic partner. They are very good together and it makes me quite happy.
It is to be expected to be heartbroken and to feel the pain and disappointment when one partner decides they do not want to go forward. I would also remind her not to confuse fear of the unknown future with feelings for this particular guy. Having a known partner can become comfortable, but that doesn’t mean it is right for her. And this isn’t the end of her romantic life by any means. She is still quite young and after some time, she will get back out there. Time provides great perspective..
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,614
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on May 15, 2023 20:04:16 GMT
Cut your losses, for sure. I think if he wanted to be with her/wanted something long term he'd want her to move. She needs to move on not move with this guy.
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Post by kristi521 on May 15, 2023 20:42:47 GMT
It seems like he is trying to cut ties. She should do the same, as tough as it might be.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,621
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on May 15, 2023 22:52:48 GMT
This is a relationship that has run its course. Is she feeling upset about this? Nope. She feels like it's just fine (at least that's what she told my daughter) and that they are "on the same page." My daughter thinks she's in major denial and just hopes if she hangs in there, he'll come to his senses.
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Post by Mel on May 16, 2023 18:31:23 GMT
Yep, run for it!!
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