seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,423
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
|
Post by seaexplore on Jul 25, 2023 23:06:08 GMT
Maybe if you see something similar in the future, you could run into a convenience store and buy a couple of cold waters. I don't shop convenience stores, so not sure if they would have something like a hand towel or kerchief, but if you went to one of the really large chain ones, they might. Go back and tell them that you would offer a ride, but don't have a carseat, but here are a couple of waters and a kerchief you can wet to put around your neck to help keep you cooler. Just curious, I've never heard anyone say they don't shop convenience stores. You never run in and grab something when getting gas? Nothing like that? Not on a road trip? I do not.
|
|
|
Post by katlady on Jul 25, 2023 23:32:32 GMT
I probably would not have offered a ride, unfortunately. In today's world, I just don't feel safe. When I was much younger, I did give a ride to a stranger. We were both waiting in line together for awhile to buy Laker playoff tickets. We got to talking, and he lived close to where I lived and he had taken the bus to the Forum in Inglewood, which was not close to where we lived. After we got our tickets, I offered him a ride home. I think about that now and wonder why did I do that?? Youth! lol! Just curious, I've never heard anyone say they don't shop convenience stores. You never run in and grab something when getting gas? Nothing like that? Not on a road trip? I don't usually run in while getting gas. I pay at the pump. I'll go in to buy lottery tickets, but I usually don't buy food or drinks. When we are on a road trip, that is different. I'll run into to get fresh drinks or snacks. But for everyday business, no I don't go inside the convenience stores when getting gas.
|
|
peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,613
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
|
Post by peabay on Jul 25, 2023 23:41:04 GMT
I am a 911 dispatcher. I would never ever under any circumstance give anyone a ride. Ever. I also do not stop. IF I feel that someone may need help, I help by calling the local PD non emergency #. That is the way that I can help. That's fantastic advice. Thank you for it.
|
|
|
Post by flanz on Jul 25, 2023 23:42:26 GMT
That's a tough one. Like so many here, I would not feel safe offering a stranger a ride AND I would want to help this mom and child. I hope that I would think fast enough to offer to call someone for them. In reality, the first time I had a situation like that I would probably have great ideas - once I got home!
I love the idea of having cold water on hand to pass out to people.
|
|
|
Post by flanz on Jul 25, 2023 23:43:22 GMT
I am a 911 dispatcher. I would never ever under any circumstance give anyone a ride. Ever. I also do not stop. IF I feel that someone may need help, I help by calling the local PD non emergency #. That is the way that I can help. That's fantastic advice. Thank you for it.
|
|
|
Post by Lurkingpea on Jul 25, 2023 23:56:46 GMT
Maybe if you see something similar in the future, you could run into a convenience store and buy a couple of cold waters. I don't shop convenience stores, so not sure if they would have something like a hand towel or kerchief, but if you went to one of the really large chain ones, they might. Go back and tell them that you would offer a ride, but don't have a carseat, but here are a couple of waters and a kerchief you can wet to put around your neck to help keep you cooler. Just curious, I've never heard anyone say they don't shop convenience stores. You never run in and grab something when getting gas? Nothing like that? Not on a road trip? I haven't been inside a convenience store for 20 years or so. Whenever you could start paying at the pump. I bring my own snacks for road trips or we stop to eat at an actual restaurant of it is a full day trip.
|
|
|
Post by Lurkingpea on Jul 25, 2023 23:58:50 GMT
Just curious, I've never heard anyone say they don't shop convenience stores. You never run in and grab something when getting gas? Nothing like that? Not on a road trip? I only go in when I need to use the restroom. The bathroom is the last reason I would stop at a convenience store. I would stop at a fast food place or Starbucks and buy a drink or snack before using a gas station bathroom.
|
|
|
Post by Lurkingpea on Jul 25, 2023 23:59:47 GMT
OP I know you feel torn, but I think you made the correct call to keep driving. Do you have a local non emergency number you can call next time?
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Jul 26, 2023 2:59:53 GMT
Side story: I NEVER pick up strangers. However, over 20 years ago, I was in a pizza shop awaiting my order to be boxed up. I saw the bus stop and a young woman (about age 20) got off, dressed in a party dress. I thought, "Is a hooker trying to work in this neighborhood?" I watched her out the window and a couple of cars (men) stopped and attempted to pick her up--she declined. Something told me, "hmmm, I should see what is going on." When my pizza was ready, I left and she was still walking down the street. I stopped and inquired and found out where she thought she was going. Dallas public transportation is awful now (and this was 20+ years ago) and for all purposes, she would never get where she was going. I encouraged her to get in, come home with me and I would take her to the address. She took a chance on me and I was taking a chance on her. I learned she was attending a HS graduation party and she attended a school where our friend's son attended. Telephone calls were made and I was able to take her to the home of the mutual friend who was attending the same party. --She was an exchange student from Switzerland and her host family had not worked out. The father in the host family wanted to have an affair with her and she had to move out. Poor girl--her situation in Dallas had been awful.--Fate worked in her favor when I picked her up.
|
|
|
Post by dewryce on Jul 26, 2023 3:47:02 GMT
I only go in when I need to use the restroom. The bathroom is the last reason I would stop at a convenience store. I would stop at a fast food place or Starbucks and buy a drink or snack before using a gas station bathroom. Ideally, I wouldn’t. Except for a few places I know to have nicer bathrooms than ours But we usually travel on roads where that’s often not an option, and/or after everything else has closed in a small Texas towns.
|
|
paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,751
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
|
Post by paget on Jul 26, 2023 3:55:54 GMT
I only go in when I need to use the restroom. Same. I don’t even do that! I would have to be about to explode to do that. I can easily count on one hand times I have used a convenience store bathroom - and one time was when I was about 7. 😂
|
|
*Marjorie*
Full Member
Posts: 360
Location: Hawaii
Jun 26, 2014 16:43:45 GMT
|
Post by *Marjorie* on Jul 26, 2023 5:41:43 GMT
Years ago I saw a woman walking on the sidewalk with two young children. One was a baby, the other a toddler. I could see that she was struggling. I stopped and offered her a ride. She was so grateful. Another time, coming out of Kmart, there was a woman struggling to get a newly purchase bike into her car with no luck. I stopped and asked her where she lived. She lived close to me. I had an SUV so I offered to put the bike in my car and follow her home. She trusted me not to make off with the bike. This was years ago. I don't know if I would do the same today. Unfortunately the world has changed so much in the last few years that the simple act of kindness is lost. I still offer my services if I see someone in the parking lot struggling to load their purchases in their car or a Grandmother needs a helping hand loading her car cause she's trying to wrangle two tiny Grandchildren. BTW I'm 77 years old and am thankful if I can be of help.
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on Jul 26, 2023 11:07:00 GMT
I won’t usually break the law for a stranger. So like you I’d have felt bad, but without a car seat I’m not going to drive a baby. All you’d have to do is stop at a stop light/sign not even abruptly, and the baby slip and bam your in a law suit and since technically your breaking the law you don’t have much of a footing in the law suit.
I have no issue with charity, helping people out and giving people a break. I have years of volunteering at the social services in my town. One thing the director there taught me, I can’t put myself at risk or I won’t be able to help others.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Jul 26, 2023 11:23:13 GMT
With regrets, I would not have stopped. I hate that the world is so dangerous that helping someone could mean risking our lives
|
|
|
Post by supersoda on Jul 26, 2023 11:57:50 GMT
I would have had the same struggle as you and a lot would have depended on my read of the specific situation.
I’ve stopped to help strangers before. I’ve let a stranger in my house to use the phone. Strangers have stopped to help me before.
Of course there are risks and I have a strong appreciation for them If I assessed the situation to be too dangerous I’d find another way to handle. I’m a cynical pessimist but I don’t want fear to replace kindness in all cases.
|
|
|
Post by supersoda on Jul 26, 2023 12:02:28 GMT
I don’t even do that! I would have to be about to explode to do that. I can easily count on one hand times I have used a convenience store bathroom - and one time was when I was about 7. 😂 Y’all. Newer, bigger convenience stores are a whole new bathroom game. Much better than a McDonalds or Starbucks. Buc-ees changed the bathroom game in Texas, and both that chain and its influence are spreading.
|
|
|
Post by coaliesquirrel on Jul 26, 2023 12:40:44 GMT
We stopped once and picked up a woman whose car had broken down at night in a rainstorm, long before the cellphone era - BUT we were two vehicles/two families that had split into "boys' car" and "girls' car" so she was comfortable riding with us but the boys would have noticed if anything untoward was seeming to transpire in our car. As it turned out, she knew some people my parents knew from high school (we were a couple hours from that town)!
DH stops to assist regularly if he's in his FD vehicle, but he's a really good judge of whether someone seems potentially problematic. Last weekend, we were staying at a hotel, and he was wearing a plain polo that just happened to be the same color as those the desk staff were wearing. When he took our luggage cart back to the lobby, he was stopped by a couple older ladies who asked if he could assist him with their bags - their car was pulled up to the front door. They reminded him of his mom, so of course he agreed and got the luggage set up on the cart for them. Then, one said "It's room 123" or whatever and he realized they thought he was a bellman! He didn't want to embarrass them and wasn't in a hurry, so he went on along, pushing their luggage to their room and unloading it for them. When they attempted to tip, he refused and came clean. We all just had a laugh, but this thread reminds me that they could have ended up with some creeper in their room!
I would probably have hesitated due to lack of carseat, but if she'd been with just a regular seatbelt-sized kid, I might have dialed up DH on my cell, told him what I was doing, and put it on speaker, then offered to pick them up. There's a trailer park on the way to our house, and people do walk from there to the Dollar General (nearest store), which must be about 2.5 miles. I would not pick up a lone male, but I'd send DH back in his fire car if he was available.
|
|
caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,461
Location: So Cal
Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
|
Post by caangel on Jul 26, 2023 13:37:07 GMT
I don’t even do that! I would have to be about to explode to do that. I can easily count on one hand times I have used a convenience store bathroom - and one time was when I was about 7. 😂 Y’all. Newer, bigger convenience stores are a whole new bathroom game. Much better than a McDonalds or Starbucks. Buc-ees changed the bathroom game in Texas, and both that chain and its influence are spreading. We don't have Buc-ees in CA but many nicer gas station stops through central CA. We do a 9/10hr trip to Nor Cal a couple times a year and our goal is usually one or 2 stops max. Usually our one stop is a gas station for gas, bathroom and food (fast food attached to the station). We rarely buy anything other than gas from the station. At home I get gas at Costco 95% of the time, no convenience store there.
|
|
oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,003
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
|
Post by oh yvonne on Jul 26, 2023 14:00:50 GMT
thanks everyone for the thoughtful responses and discussion!
I love the cheap umbrella idea and next time I see something like that I'll turn around and run to a convenience store and get the woman a water bottle.
I've still wondering why or how the woman came to be on that long busy road pushing her baby in a grocery store cart. Where was her stroller? How did she get to the store w/out one? I'm also thinking it the heat probably caught her off guard, as it was warm but the sun doesn't feel as brutal right away and I'm sure once she was a ways from home probably realized her mistake. IDK I've got all kinds of scenarios in my head but mostly I just worry about that poor baby. I'm sure they are fine. As I said it's been hot 96-97 but not bad like Arizona.
I was just reading this morning that in Arizona this week the Burn Unit is full...from people falling on the asphalt and getting freaking second and third degree burns! Its brutal out there, MG.
So thanks to all your thoughts/opinions and ideas I realize it was too risky without a car seat. I honestly am not concerned about my safety with tiny woman and a baby, I'm just not. What I will do though, is look into grabbing a few cheap umbrellas and I can always turn around my car and stop and get the person a water or something.
There still are a good two months of hot summer weather here so I'll be better prepared. During heat waves I always put a cooler on the porch with ice water bottles and frozen Snickers for the Amazon and UPS delivery people.
|
|
iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,291
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
|
Post by iluvpink on Jul 26, 2023 14:15:28 GMT
I don’t even do that! I would have to be about to explode to do that. I can easily count on one hand times I have used a convenience store bathroom - and one time was when I was about 7. 😂 Y’all. Newer, bigger convenience stores are a whole new bathroom game. Much better than a McDonalds or Starbucks. Buc-ees changed the bathroom game in Texas, and both that chain and its influence are spreading. Yes, I have bladder issues and also a husband who loves long road trips when we go to Hilton Head or WDW. Most gas station/convenience store combos have better restrooms than fast food places. I mean it varies, but I prefer a newer looking convenience store/station over a McDonald's any day. Some of them are quite nice! We (try) to combine bathroom, gas and food stops all in one so if it has a fast food place attached, even better. If it's just a bathroom break, we are on the freeway so we prefer rest areas due to the easy/quick on and off.
|
|
|
Post by smasonnc on Jul 26, 2023 14:16:11 GMT
I am a 911 dispatcher. I would never ever under any circumstance give anyone a ride. Ever. I also do not stop. IF I feel that someone may need help, I help by calling the local PD non emergency #. That is the way that I can help. Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. Having heard from an expert, I hope the Peas will take the advice of an expert. The car seat part wouldn’t have phased me. It’s the thought of the boyfriend lurking to rob you that would deter me. I wish we lived in a world where you could safely help someone like that, but there are a lot of bad folks out there.
|
|
|
Post by FuzzyMutt on Jul 26, 2023 14:26:40 GMT
I would have stopped.
But, I do have a car seat appropriate for a one year old (oddly I don’t normally!) Friend is overdue to have her baby and I may have to pick up her 14 month old from daycare any minute now. No car seat and I wouldn’t have stopped.
Also, I’ve picked up lots of people in lots of situations over the years. And regardless of “how times are different”, I still choose kindness. I have never once had any issue. There are plenty I’ve passed by if my gut feeling wasn’t good, but plenty I’ve given rides to. 3 people in just the last 6 months alone (all women.) The time before that was a young man who looked dressed really nice at prom time. Turns out he had to work late and missed the group ride to prom. Mom didn’t have a car so he was walking (I drive in a big city every day.) I drove him to the venue and dropped him off.
That said, I’m a fully able bodied person, often with a 9mm in my car.
|
|
|
Post by FuzzyMutt on Jul 26, 2023 14:27:56 GMT
I would have stopped. But, I do have a car seat appropriate for a one year old (oddly I don’t normally!) Friend is overdue to have her baby and I may have to pick up her 14 month old from daycare any minute now. No car seat and I wouldn’t have stopped. Also, I’ve picked up lots of people in lots of situations over the years. And regardless of “how times are different”, I still choose kindness. I have never once had any issue. There are plenty I’ve passed by if my gut feeling wasn’t good, but plenty I’ve given rides to. 3 people in just the last 6 months alone (all women.) The time before that was a young man who looked dressed really nice at prom time. Turns out he had to work late and missed the group ride to prom. Mom didn’t have a car so he was walking (I drive in a big city every day.) I drove him to the venue and dropped him off. That said, I’m a fully able bodied person, often with a 9mm in my car. Edited to add… I also have no issue stopping at a convenience store to use the bathroom. I’m a risk taker like that. LOL
|
|
|
Post by Peace Sign on Jul 26, 2023 14:53:56 GMT
I couldn't risk it. I'm the only parent my boys have - I never risk ANYTHING! But yes, I'd feel terrible about it. I always have water in my trunk so I'd offer some.
|
|
|
Post by katlady on Jul 26, 2023 15:05:26 GMT
I don’t even do that! I would have to be about to explode to do that. I can easily count on one hand times I have used a convenience store bathroom - and one time was when I was about 7. 😂 Y’all. Newer, bigger convenience stores are a whole new bathroom game. Much better than a McDonalds or Starbucks. Buc-ees changed the bathroom game in Texas, and both that chain and its influence are spreading. We don’thave Buc-ees here, but when we drive to Vegas, there is this really big truck stop in Barstow that we stop at if all we need is gas and a toilet. They have a couple of different eateries inside, a convenience shop, and they have shower rooms.
|
|
SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,612
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
|
Post by SweetieBsMom on Jul 26, 2023 15:20:04 GMT
Years ago, I would have stopped. Nowadays, I wouldn't stop. Would I feel bad? Absolutely. I like the advice of calling the non-emergency PD line.
|
|