oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 7,996
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
|
Post by oh yvonne on Jul 25, 2023 19:59:32 GMT
So, this situation posed a WWYD dilemma situation for me the other day and I thought I'd bring it up to the board to discuss.
I was out (solo) running errands the other day and it was quite warm out, about 95F. Not as hot as it can get, we sometimes get to be about 102 if there is a heatwave.
There was a woman pushing a shopping cart (obviously taken from a store some blocks away) with a baby, probably around a year old. The poor baby was sitting in the cart seat, and she had draped a blanket or a towel over the babe's head to keep the sun off.
Seeing that she was quite a ways from the store, seeing her struggle and knowing that the area she was probably headed to (a street where there are some lower priced apartment complexes) was still 3 miles more made me hesitate for a second. The road is on a slight incline, so her trek from the main boulevard shopping area wasn't an easy one.
I really wanted to stop and offer to take them home. But I talked myself out of it, reasoning that I don't have a car seat for the baby and I could get a ticket....what if I had an accident, would I be in trouble. But she looked hot and tired and I struggled internally.
I kept driving. But it bothered me that I didn't stop and help her. I live in a very safe, suburban area.
Once in my early 20's many years ago I passed a very elderly man who had on a suit jacket and a hat and was struggling with a grocery bag on a very hot day and he looked so frail and hunched over I stopped and offered him a ride home. He was so sweet and grateful I about cried, he reminded me of my grandpa.
I'm thinking if I ever see that again and it was a dangerously hot day I'd stop and offer a ride. Car seat be damned. She might not want to take the ride from me, but I could at least offer. I drive a big ass SUV if that matters.
Do you think I'm being kind of foolish/reckless? Too risky without a car seat? WWTPD? I'm going to hit post and hope I don't regret it, lol. Be kind.
|
|
|
|
Post by workingclassdog on Jul 25, 2023 20:04:24 GMT
I think I would be exactly like you.. struggling on what to do and then feeling really bad about it.
|
|
pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,913 
|
Post by pilcas on Jul 25, 2023 20:07:02 GMT
I probably would have done the same thing. Things can turn sour very quickly
|
|
kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,513
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
|
Post by kate on Jul 25, 2023 20:11:12 GMT
These situations are so hard! I think you just have to go with your gut.
I've probably told this story here before, but my DS once took a ride that was offered when he was walking (maybe .75 mile) from the subway to school during a terrible winter storm. I am grateful to this day to that kind driver.
|
|
|
|
Post by Basket1lady on Jul 25, 2023 20:12:03 GMT
I’ve been in the same situation. The lack of a car seat was my first thought as well. Maybe call a taxi next time? But then she still wouldn’t have a car seat.
I’d love to hear of a good solution to this dilemma.
|
|
seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,408
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
|
Post by seaexplore on Jul 25, 2023 20:22:14 GMT
I would NOT pick someone up. You never know what they may do. I am untrusting of most people.
|
|
|
|
Post by disneypal on Jul 25, 2023 20:30:48 GMT
It is hard not to stop and help someone like that but for your own safety, it is best to move along. It is sad that our society is like that now, but you just don't know what a stranger is capable of. Plus, as you said, you had no car seat, and if anything happened, Heaven forbid, you'd be liable.
|
|
|
|
Post by KelleeM on Jul 25, 2023 20:34:58 GMT
The lack of car seat would have prevented me from stopping.
About 25 years ago I passed a couple, probably in the early 40s, walking on a day when it was over 95°. After I dropped off my dd I saw them again and stopped. They were walking several miles home from a store. They were very grateful and I was glad I stopped. Nowadays I probably wouldn’t.
|
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Jul 25, 2023 20:38:06 GMT
I think you made the right call -and I say that as someone who has been the mum with a child walking in bad weather in the past. I've been offered rides - and while I appreciated the thought and the offer, I've said no thank you.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 7:58:14 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2023 20:47:07 GMT
There was a local story earlier this year where a high school senior picked up two younger teenagers on a very cold night and offered them a ride home. They decided to car jack him instead and shot him. He died on the side of the road because he was being helpful to two 14 year olds.
You just never know when a situation will turn bad. A kid lost his life because he thought two younger kids were "safe" to help.
|
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Jul 25, 2023 20:56:04 GMT
I would never get in the car if I was her, though I'm sure I'd appreciate the thought.
I remember refusing to get in the car when a sweet elderly lady offered me a ride to school. The snow drifts were quite literally waist high and I had a long ways to go. Our car wasn't working and my mom was home with my baby sister. I was six. But I never trusted anyone.
I also refused a ride home from my friend's older brother once because he kind of gave me the creeps.
|
|
|
|
Post by mom on Jul 25, 2023 20:57:40 GMT
Honestly, there is not a chance I would have stopped. Too many bad things can happen. I would have slowed down and cracked my window and asked if there was something I could do to help her, like call an uber or call someone to come get her. But I am not letting any stranger in my car. And especially while I am alone.
|
|
|
|
Post by summer on Jul 25, 2023 21:30:47 GMT
There is no circumstance where I am ever going to pick up a stranger in my car. I also would never get in a strangers car if they offered me a ride. Just last week my sisters friend who is a man broke down in a parking lot and after waiting for the tow truck he had no one to call to pick him up. He knocked on the window of the closest car in the lot which was a man and asked him for a ride. He drove him home and they had a wonderful conversation. So clearly there are people who are comfortable giving and getting a ride with a stranger, that however will never be me!
|
|
snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,941
Location: Colorado
|
Post by snyder on Jul 25, 2023 21:41:48 GMT
Maybe if you see something similar in the future, you could run into a convenience store and buy a couple of cold waters. I don't shop convenience stores, so not sure if they would have something like a hand towel or kerchief, but if you went to one of the really large chain ones, they might. Go back and tell them that you would offer a ride, but don't have a carseat, but here are a couple of waters and a kerchief you can wet to put around your neck to help keep you cooler.
|
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Jul 25, 2023 21:50:54 GMT
Maybe if you see something similar in the future, you could run into a convenience store and buy a couple of cold waters. I don't shop convenience stores, so not sure if they would have something like a hand towel or kerchief, but if you went to one of the really large chain ones, they might. Go back and tell them that you would offer a ride, but don't have a carseat, but here are a couple of waters and a kerchief you can wet to put around your neck to help keep you cooler. Just curious, I've never heard anyone say they don't shop convenience stores. You never run in and grab something when getting gas? Nothing like that? Not on a road trip? |
|
|
|
Post by littlemama on Jul 25, 2023 21:57:36 GMT
Maybe if you see something similar in the future, you could run into a convenience store and buy a couple of cold waters. I don't shop convenience stores, so not sure if they would have something like a hand towel or kerchief, but if you went to one of the really large chain ones, they might. Go back and tell them that you would offer a ride, but don't have a carseat, but here are a couple of waters and a kerchief you can wet to put around your neck to help keep you cooler. Just curious, I've never heard anyone say they don't shop convenience stores. You never run in and grab something when getting gas? Nothing like that? Not on a road trip? Right? Of all the things in this thread, that is the one that confused me! |
|
|
|
Post by AussieMeg on Jul 25, 2023 22:05:28 GMT
That's a tough one. I would feel safer picking up a woman with a baby, than a male. But not without a car seat. I think I would probably have done the same thing as you, and then felt bad about it.
I remember when I was a kid / teenager, there was an old man who lived in my neighbourhood. He walked sooooooo slowly, it took him forever to cross the road. One day I passed him as I walked to the shop. One my way home it started to rain, and I passed him again. The poor old man had to walk all the way home (wherever 'home' was) in the rain. I wanted to run home to get an umbrella and walk him home, but I felt weird about it. I still feel guilty about not doing it, even now, 40+ years later.
|
|
snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,941
Location: Colorado
|
Post by snyder on Jul 25, 2023 22:17:32 GMT
Maybe if you see something similar in the future, you could run into a convenience store and buy a couple of cold waters. I don't shop convenience stores, so not sure if they would have something like a hand towel or kerchief, but if you went to one of the really large chain ones, they might. Go back and tell them that you would offer a ride, but don't have a carseat, but here are a couple of waters and a kerchief you can wet to put around your neck to help keep you cooler. Just curious, I've never heard anyone say they don't shop convenience stores. You never run in and grab something when getting gas? Nothing like that? Not on a road trip? I have in prior days, but am crippled now. When we travel, my travel partners go into the stores, so I actually haven't been in one in years. Most of the time my son fills my car for me and if I absolutely have to, I can stand long enough to fill the car before the nerve damage I got from a surgey makes my leg give out, so would not trust it to last long enough to walk around the store and then end up standing in a line to pay, so I never go into them. |
|
|
|
Post by teacherlisa on Jul 25, 2023 22:19:35 GMT
I am a 911 dispatcher. I would never ever under any circumstance give anyone a ride. Ever. I also do not stop. IF I feel that someone may need help, I help by calling the local PD non emergency #. That is the way that I can help.
|
|
|
|
Post by cmpeter on Jul 25, 2023 22:21:47 GMT
I would have done the same as you and felt so badly about it.
|
|
|
|
Post by dewryce on Jul 25, 2023 22:24:32 GMT
Maybe if you see something similar in the future, you could run into a convenience store and buy a couple of cold waters. I don't shop convenience stores, so not sure if they would have something like a hand towel or kerchief, but if you went to one of the really large chain ones, they might. Go back and tell them that you would offer a ride, but don't have a carseat, but here are a couple of waters and a kerchief you can wet to put around your neck to help keep you cooler. I’m not comfortable giving money to people on the side of the road anymore, and I very rarely run into them. But on the way to my BFF’s house there is usually a man at the stop sign. I live in Texas and the heat and humidity are brutal so I took to bringing extra (cold) bottled waters with me when I visited her. At the time I read about ziplock bags people were putting together with socks, snacks, water, and now I forget what else and meant to do that. This thread is a great reminder! In your case I might have offered the umbrella that lives in my car door, to call someone, water, but I would not have offered a ride. And I would feel terrible about it for a long, long time. Guilt is powerful. |
|
pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,750
|
Post by pantsonfire on Jul 25, 2023 22:24:56 GMT
I would have called one of the local community help organizations and asked if there was someone available to assist the mom and child with a stroller and to get safely home. Not 911 (non emergency) because they would not have been of help.
I hope the mom and baby made it safely to their destination.
And I agree, I would not have offered a ride because those no car seat tickets are pricey and two you could have been in a car accident.
|
|
|
|
Post by dewryce on Jul 25, 2023 22:29:32 GMT
Maybe if you see something similar in the future, you could run into a convenience store and buy a couple of cold waters. I don't shop convenience stores, so not sure if they would have something like a hand towel or kerchief, but if you went to one of the really large chain ones, they might. Go back and tell them that you would offer a ride, but don't have a carseat, but here are a couple of waters and a kerchief you can wet to put around your neck to help keep you cooler. Just curious, I've never heard anyone say they don't shop convenience stores. You never run in and grab something when getting gas? Nothing like that? Not on a road trip? I only go in when I need to use the restroom. |
|
|
|
Post by Lexica on Jul 25, 2023 22:32:54 GMT
If it were not for the legal requirement of a car seat, I probably would have offered a ride. But sometimes, I have too kind of a heart and my fiancé used to get upset with me about it. Your story of the elderly man in the hot sun made me smile that you were able to give him a ride.
A practical question, what do people who drive for Uber or Lyft do about transporting youngsters? Do you think they keep a car seat in their trunk?
I have not offered rides in my car, but many years ago I was driving to work one day and it was pouring rain. Really pouring down, which was unusual for my area of California. I saw a young boy walking to school, by himself, no umbrella, getting absolutely soaked. I didn't have time to offer a ride to him without making myself late so I drove up next to him and gave him my umbrella. I knew that I had another one in the back of the car and instead of parking in front of my building, I just parked in the parking garage so that I could grab the other umbrella out of the back while under the protection of the garage roof.
Then the next time I was in a dollar-type store, I bought a half dozen umbrellas to keep in my car behind the passenger seat for easy access. I eventually gave all of them away. We didn’t get that much rain so it took a while to come across people out without one. And I have to say, every single person was grateful. I did mention to the people who got the dollar umbrella that it was just a cheap one and not to feel guilty if they just used it that one time. They were adequate to keep the water off, but would not have held up too well in a strong wind.
I hate that we have to feel that we cannot be kind to fellow humans for fear of either getting sued or hurt in some way. I know that is certainly the reality, I just don’t like it.
|
|
|
|
Post by aj2hall on Jul 25, 2023 22:35:16 GMT
Tough situation. I think I would have offered water or offered to call the local PD non emergency number or anyone else for her.
|
|
gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,206
|
Post by gina on Jul 25, 2023 22:35:23 GMT
No shot in hell I am stopping for someone I don't know. Could be a recipe for disaster.
|
|
|
|
Post by nlwilkins on Jul 25, 2023 22:40:34 GMT
We are having triple digit heat here most days, but that does not happen until in the afternoon. I had some friends come out last week to pick through hubby's tools and take what they could use, we are talking super hot garage and loading up heavy equipment into their truck. They were hot, but were used to it as they live on a farm and are outside more than most in this heat.
All this to say, some people can handle the heat easier than others. Remember when there was no such thing as air conditioned cars and houses? Life had to go on. For some reason this lady was out in the heat with her baby, maybe this was the only time she could get her errands run, who knows? This is what I think about and try not to run a guilt trip on myself. I also try to think of my family and friends who would be terribly upset if something happened to me due to poor decision making in possibly picking up the wrong person out of pity. Its hard though to pass someone by in such a situation
|
|
GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,288
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
|
Post by GiantsFan on Jul 25, 2023 22:46:15 GMT
I would've been torn too, but I wouldn't have offered a ride. I keep water bottles (not on ice, but in a small cooler) in my car so I could have offered water and offered her my umbrella to keep the sun off of them.
|
|
GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,288
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
|
Post by GiantsFan on Jul 25, 2023 22:47:30 GMT
Just curious, I've never heard anyone say they don't shop convenience stores. You never run in and grab something when getting gas? Nothing like that? Not on a road trip? I only go in when I need to use the restroom. Same. |
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Jul 25, 2023 22:55:22 GMT
A practical question, what do people who drive for Uber or Lyft do about transporting youngsters? Do you think they keep a car seat in their trunk? no idea about Uber/Lift but years ago when I had a car-seat age child and needed to use taxis - I brought a car seat with me...easier with an infant and again once they graduated to a booster but doable even with a standard car seat. (this would have been in the early 90s with my oldest) |
|
