Deleted
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Jun 11, 2024 4:04:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2023 22:37:13 GMT
If they just mean romantic in you've dated, kissed, flirted, one blind date, or two lame dates, then my number would be fairly high.
If they mean sexually romantic, I would know my number pretty quickly.
Either way, not info I would share here or with a neighbor I barely know.
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,060
Jul 4, 2014 6:57:02 GMT
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Post by AllieC on Aug 7, 2023 23:17:44 GMT
Gosh what a strange question for anyone to ask, let alone a neighbour in a chat. I find the chat about "numbers" really ick and in most cases it is used against women by misogynistic men. Anyone asking me would be told to fuck right off.
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Post by paulao on Aug 7, 2023 23:22:46 GMT
Sexual encounters? I would have to think.
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Post by busy on Aug 7, 2023 23:38:53 GMT
Nope, don’t know, even if I thought about it and have zero guilt or shame about that. Not going to call myself names about it either.
What a strange thing for adult women to talk about IMO.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,495
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Aug 7, 2023 23:46:42 GMT
I could come up with mine pretty quickly. I was a late bloomer but enjoyed myself between 21 and 24 (when I met DH)
My Dh knows how many for me and I know how many for him. It was a discussion we had when we first met. He had been married briefly from 19-23. Anyway- it didn’t matter to us but came up in conversation.
It’s a “thing” with high school kids. They call it a “body count” and I’m SHOCKED by the numbers my students throw out. Makes me wonder if they’re making it up, I very much hope they are. But then again, I have 3 students who have babies already. So… yeah.
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,736
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on Aug 8, 2023 0:07:45 GMT
I wouldn’t have to think very long - I’ve been monogamous with my husband since I was 18. I didn’t date very much before that either. I remember everyone I was with. I agree with Zee if a guy were to ask me that now, I’d see red flags aloft.
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Post by littlemama on Aug 8, 2023 0:54:00 GMT
Sexual encounters? I would have to think. Sexual partners, not encounters.
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Post by Lexica on Aug 8, 2023 1:15:24 GMT
Nope, don’t know, even if I thought about it and have zero guilt or shame about that. Not going to call myself names about it either. What a strange thing for adult women to talk about IMO. Hey, nobody was laying any guilt or shame on anyone else, neither with my neighbors or here. The question was NOT how many people have you had sex with, the question was, do you immediately know or would you have to think about it. No one ever stated a number, not even the woman who said she knew hers. She was wondering if the average woman would know immediately. And I don’t care if someone’s number is 4 or 40 or 400. Did you notice that I never asked anyone to state the number or even put an anonymous poll? And that is certainly more likely with someone who has been married for most of their lives would know, especially marrying young as many peas here answered. And for those married more than once or with extended periods of being single, probably not, without thinking about it a bit. I don’t see it as that odd of a question. And if you do, you were certainly not obligated to respond.
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Post by Lexica on Aug 8, 2023 1:24:45 GMT
I wouldn’t have to think very long - I’ve been monogamous with my husband since I was 18. I didn’t date very much before that either. I remember everyone I was with. I agree with Zee if a guy were to ask me that now, I’d see red flags aloft. I agree with @zee as well. Hence the argument with my ex fiancé and my refusal to answer. They all occurred before I ever met him and I wasn’t in contact with any of them anymore. It showed me deep insecurity on his part as well as a distrust of me. And for me, since I never gave him any indication that I was anything other than completely open and honest, I began to think that perhaps he wasn’t as open and honest with me. I saw big red flags and we argued about it, especially him wanting names. There would be zero rational reason for that and it would be an invasion of my privacy. And as it eventually turned out, he was cheating so he must have assumed I was as well. Hence “ex” fiancé. I began to see things that I hadn’t seen in all the years we dated before he proposed. It was like he became a different person. Controlling. Nope. I couldn’t marry someone like that.
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Post by busy on Aug 8, 2023 1:50:10 GMT
Nope, don’t know, even if I thought about it and have zero guilt or shame about that. Not going to call myself names about it either. What a strange thing for adult women to talk about IMO. Hey, nobody was laying any guilt or shame on anyone else, neither with my neighbors or here. The question was NOT how many people have you had sex with, the question was, do you immediately know or would you have to think about it. No one ever stated a number, not even the woman who said she knew hers. She was wondering if the average woman would know immediately. And I don’t care if someone’s number is 4 or 40 or 400. Did you notice that I never asked anyone to state the number or even put an anonymous poll? And that is certainly more likely with someone who has been married for most of their lives would know, especially marrying young as many peas here answered. And for those married more than once or with extended periods of being single, probably not, without thinking about it a bit. I don’t see it as that odd of a question. And if you do, you were certainly not obligated to respond. I wasn’t saying you. But some other comments in the thread were disparaging themselves for having explored their sexuality with various partners at points in their lives. And I’m just not about that. Women are shamed by society for having sexual experience, and men are lauded. Men want virgins who are good in bed. Lolololololol. Our society is such a mess when it comes to sex, especially for women.
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Post by leannec on Aug 8, 2023 1:50:16 GMT
I wouldn't be able to answer that question ... I have a history that includes a 24 year marriage ... and a history before and after the marriage ... I am single right now and not seeing anyone seriously although I do have a FWB ... my life is what it is and I don't answer to anyone ... I don't feel guilty AT ALL! I am sure to be judged.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,153
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Aug 8, 2023 2:34:31 GMT
I got married at 20 so it's not something I have to think about to answer lol
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Post by lesserknownpea on Aug 8, 2023 2:42:04 GMT
I would know immediately.
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Post by gryroagain on Aug 8, 2023 2:42:22 GMT
I literally could not answer that question, even with thought. I’ve never kept track because…I don’t know why do people keep track? I’d lost track well before my decades long marriage. It’s not like a camera shutter where it lasts 10,000 clicks or something. So why would it matter?
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Post by Zee on Aug 8, 2023 2:46:03 GMT
Hey, nobody was laying any guilt or shame on anyone else, neither with my neighbors or here. The question was NOT how many people have you had sex with, the question was, do you immediately know or would you have to think about it. No one ever stated a number, not even the woman who said she knew hers. She was wondering if the average woman would know immediately. And I don’t care if someone’s number is 4 or 40 or 400. Did you notice that I never asked anyone to state the number or even put an anonymous poll? And that is certainly more likely with someone who has been married for most of their lives would know, especially marrying young as many peas here answered. And for those married more than once or with extended periods of being single, probably not, without thinking about it a bit. I don’t see it as that odd of a question. And if you do, you were certainly not obligated to respond. I wasn’t saying you. But some other comments in the thread were disparaging themselves for having explored their sexuality with various partners at points in their lives. And I’m just not about that. Women are shamed by society for having sexual experience, and men are lauded. Men want virgins who are good in bed. Lolololololol. Our society is such a mess when it comes to sex, especially for women. Yes and that's why I love Cardi B and Meg and other body-positive sex-positive artists and musicians. Raunchy, yes, but then again I LOVE the freedom for women to enjoy sex, that those performers champion. Everyone should be able to enjoy having sex with other (willing) partners without having to be slut-shamed, call themselves a ho (I get that it's often used in fun, but still), feel guilty, or whatever. I also don't consider virginity some kind of big virtue. I got rid of mine when I was 15 and never looked back, and was never made to feel like a "slut" or any of that by anyone. Lucky me I guess. ETA I will admit, though, to clutching my pearls a little at times when reading here about having sex in a house for sale with the realtor showing it. I have limits. That's uncouth And I fully admit I had no idea there were perfectly legal sex clubs where you go have sex with strangers. I'm not averse to having sex with strangers, I just didn't know there were actual legit clubs for that (not talking about swingers Bob and Nancy down the street, but an actual club with a physical location and members). I felt a little sheltered when I read that, lol.
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Post by pjaye on Aug 8, 2023 2:53:43 GMT
I started "the list" when I was 18 and still have it...so I do know the exact number.
I also don't think it's strange to talk to your current lover about their past - I've always asked them!
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twinsmomfla99
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,996
Jun 26, 2014 13:42:47 GMT
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Post by twinsmomfla99 on Aug 8, 2023 3:07:10 GMT
It’s only been DH for 32 years, and even though my numbers aren’t very high, I have to dig deep into the memory bank to get a total LOL.
So no, not something I would have known off the top of my head.
But now that I think about it, I have the number of “all the way” partners.
“Kissing only” would be really hard to say, though. I have to confess that I was an enthusiastic “drunk kisser” during my college days, and I would have a hard time getting an accurate count!😝
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,015
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Aug 8, 2023 3:16:21 GMT
I wouldn’t have to think about it, because my number is really low whether it is sexual partners or romantic partners.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,668
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Aug 8, 2023 3:21:00 GMT
I would have to think about it. It's not a really high number but I forget my own birthday.
Kind of weirdly on topic, my bestie from middle and High schools funeral was last week and I realized that there were 3 people in the room that I'd had sex with (my high school boyfriend, dh, and her brother) . They congratulated me on my great taste in men and hung out together the rest of the night 🤣
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,832
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on Aug 8, 2023 3:33:59 GMT
There was a time I knew exactly because my friend and I made our lists once but that was a very long time ago. Let’s just say I very much enjoyed my early 20s. I married DH at 24 and we have been married for 37 years. My wild days were another lifetime and I have forgotten most of it.
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,036
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Aug 8, 2023 3:48:40 GMT
Sexual encounters? I would have to think. Sexual partners, not encounters. Um I have to ask, what’s the difference?
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,036
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Aug 8, 2023 4:03:16 GMT
Aah I’ve always hated this question; are you supposed to include child molestation and sexual assaults?
Idk how many hair cuts or dentist appointments I’ve had in a lifetime; I wish other parts of the body had the same level of anonymity lol.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,495
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Aug 8, 2023 4:05:20 GMT
They congratulated me on my great taste in men and hung out together the rest of the night 🤣 I love this so much!
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Post by busy on Aug 8, 2023 4:11:07 GMT
Aah I’ve always hated this question; are you supposed to include child molestation and sexual assaults? Idk how many hair cuts or dentist appointments I’ve had in a lifetime; I wish other parts of the body had the same level of anonymity lol. No of course not. whenever this is discussed, it’s only about consensual acts. Everything else is crime, not sex.
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 8, 2023 5:08:57 GMT
I think I know my number +/- 2. For some reason I can't completely remember and it has been over 20 years since I added to the list
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Post by Crack-a-lackin on Aug 8, 2023 5:20:02 GMT
Sexual partners, not encounters. Um I have to ask, what’s the difference? it’s the number of people you’ve had sex with (partners), not the total number of times you’ve had sex (encounters)
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Post by mymindseyedpea on Aug 8, 2023 7:11:52 GMT
Neither. Because it’s not a clear number lol It’s more like a fraction or decimal 🤦🏻♀️😏😋
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Post by littlemama on Aug 8, 2023 10:14:15 GMT
Sexual partners, not encounters. Um I have to ask, what’s the difference? An encounter is an interaction, so a sexual interaction is sex. A sexual partner is the person with whom you have sexual encounters. I have had one sexual partner, but thousands of sexual encounters.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,758
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Aug 8, 2023 11:49:52 GMT
Chatting some neighbors yesterday someone brought up the topic about the number of romantic partners we have had in our lifetime She knew her number immediately and the other two women as well as myself said we would have to think about it for a couple of minutes. It isn’t that the numbers are so high, just that I’ve never sat and totaled them up. For me, I’ve been single for many years. Someone married most of their life would, I assume, be able to give a faster response. She was very surprised that none of us could answer immediately. If you were asked this question, would you know the answer immediately or would you have to think for a minute? From the answers here, many people who have said they don't need to think have clarified by giving low numbers. Most (and yes I'm generalising) people who did need to think have either said or implied that the numbers may be more than a handful. And that is what I expected the answers to be. If your neighbour has given this enough thought actually to voice the question, I feel that she was fishing for information, disguising her question innocently. So I'm in the "what a strange question to ask strangers" camp. I can't believe I'm giving this question that much thought on a rainy Tuesday!
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Post by paulao on Aug 8, 2023 12:11:49 GMT
Sexual encounters? I would have to think. Sexual partners, not encounters. I’d still have to think about the number of partners.
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