Pet Loss and Guilt

My sweet cocker spaniel had to be put down because he had cancer and he was suffering. The pain was unbearable at times. I blamed myself thinking maybe I should have brought him to the vet sooner or maybe it was somehow my fault.

The only thing that helped was time. It took years for me to be able to even talk about him. Just know that you gave a her a great life filled with all the love that you are telling us about now.

Gentle hugs.

My old boss and I disagreed on this experience. He said he couldn't do it. I say it is the most loving act you can do to free pet from a severely painful situation that just isn't going to get better. You were that pup's world. You did your final job in taking care of her. Please don't feel like you did the wrong thing. I have had lots of conversations with my vets over the years and there isn't a single one who said that they would do surgery on their pet at that age with such a difficult surgery or recovery. Give yourself time to remember your girl and smile. You made a dog's world amazing. In time, you'll make another dog's life amazing. You are a caretaker and guilt just comes with the pain.

I am also so so sorry, and agree with everything Busy said. It is the hardest part of pet ownership. Love to you and your furbaby.

Please, no guilt.  You gave your pup the best life possible and tried to prolong that life with medication, but your vet recommended it was no longer a viable option.  Making the decision to end the suffering of your beloved family member is the most loving thing you can do for them.  Instead of guilt over making that loving choice, it is okay to morn their passing, but what you chose to do took love and strength.  I’m very sorry for your loss.

Please your poor pup was an old dog and they don’t tell us when they are ailing. You did the right thing and your dog loved you eternally. I am truly sorry for your loss. Sending love.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Gentle hugs to all of you who have had to put down a beloved pet. It truly hurts the heart to do so, and we miss them terribly.

Time was the only thing that helped when I had to put my beloved rat terrier down seven years ago. Took me five years to get another dog.

Go easy on yourself, cry some tears. It helps.

Yeah.   We put our 15-year-old girl down last year. We had her since she was 9 months old, rescued from the shelter. She had that neurological condition that doesn't cause pain but in the end she couldn't walk at all. We had to carry her outside to pee, and let's just say that I often had to clean up after her in the morning when I woke up. She still enjoyed her food, and liked hanging out with us. But what quality of life was it? 

My guilt was/is:

1. that I didn't stop feeding her ordinary dog food sooner, and instead that I'd given her all her favorites. We did that in her last few days -- chicken, and peanut butter -- but why didn't I do it sooner? I feel like this is a silly thing to feel bad about because she didn't know any different. But...

2. I was the one who had to get her outside several times ever day since my dh was at work. I couldn't just pick her up because she was too heavy for me. We have five steps in the front of our house. Getting her down was okay because I kind of slid her from one step to the next, but getting her up meant that often I ended up scraping her legs on the edges of the step. She never complained but I felt horrible. And I felt annoyed some days also. And of course I feel guilty about that annoyance.

Part of me felt that we rushed to the decision to put her down, but on the other hand she had none of her former good quality of life and couldn't do the things she used to love doing -- going on walks, rolling in the grass, playing with her best friend, playing tug of war and hide and seek with us. All of that was gone. And she was SO scared of the vet, so we went with an organization called Lap of Love who comes to your house. My biggest fear was that she would decline suddenly and have to be rushed to the vet, and she'd be scared, and end up being euthanized there. That was what I was afraid of. So we had Lap of Love come here, we gave her chicken, and she passed with her head on my dd's lap. 

I KNOW it was the right thing, and she had a long and happy life. 

It takes a long time to get past the initial grief. You never "get over it", it just becomes less acute when there will be days that go by without you thinking of your pet. Then some little thing will happen and you'll be thinking again. Like yesterday, I opened a can of canned chicken breast to make chicken salad, and I said to my husband "I miss Simba and her chicken juice..." because we used to pour a little bit of the chicken water from the can into her bowl. 

Anyway... yes, it's hard. It gets easier.

eta: That's Simba in my avatar photo.

I am so sorry! I know your pain well. We just put down our 16 1/2 year old a week ago. I did NOT want to make that decision. My prayer has been for some time that the Lord just take him in his sleep. He did not eat or drink for a full day "out of the blue." He had been fine, healthy, had a checkup 6 weeks prior, and my daughter had just seen him 3 days before. The next day I took him to the vet. My prayer was that the Lord make it extremely clear because I did NOT want to make the decision to put him down. I just couldn't. The vet immediately found a massive tumor in his throat that was not there a few weeks ago thus the reason he would not eat or drink. The decision was clear. He could not suffer like that because the 24 hours had been bad enough. I called all of the family, my daughter drove back up to our home (1 1/2 hours away), and we went together to say our goodbyes. The rest of the family was working and could not be there. The vet wept with us, and while hard, I know we did the right thing.

Your precious one was suffering terribly, and making that decision is never, ever easy. I am sure she would thank you for not letting her suffer anymore. Hugs to you!!! They truly are a huge part of the family!

Ugh, yes I understand guilt. My pupper died from something I could have prevented and I still carry that guilt around two years later.

I think losing a pet is one of the worst things that we can go through...

Hugs to you and I hope it gets better.

I'm so sorry xx

I haven't experienced this yet, so I have no real insights to share, but I know I have it coming in my reasonably near future for one of my two almost 17yo cats. I know I will be heartbroken, and I fully expect to feel guilty too. In the meantime DH and I have started talking about it pretty regularly to try make it easier - easier to agree when the right time is, and easier to bear the weight of the decision.

I saw this comic not so long ago and it got me right in the feels especially knowing what is coming for me. Maybe it will help you just a fraction.

I previously had 2 dogs. When the first one passed he was very obviously ill and there was no options. While it sucked bad, and I cried for days it felt like, I knew it was the right thing to do.

A few years later when it was my 2nd ones turn, that one was way harder. He wasn't obviously ill. But he had basically dog dementia and it was causing a lot of issues that I hadn't even really been that aware of. I wasn't sure what to do. When my vet told me if it was his family pet he would make that decision, that's what made me pull the trigger. That was in 2017, and honestly, I still wonder if I made the right decision. He was 15 years old, and ultimately, it was the right decision, but you always wonder.

I just had to keep telling myself that ultimately he wasn't in pain or confusion anymore and that was the most important thing.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm really sorry for your loss, its devastating. Be gentle with yourself.

I think that you definitely made the right decision, and have nothing to feel guilty about. I still feel guilty about NOT making that decision for my previous dog. I left it too late and his last two days were miserable and painful. You have done the right thing, and I hope you can stop feeling guilty about it.