Objects we keep when loved one dies

We do keep strange things. I had my mother's wallet, it had the only picture of my father in it. It is gone now. My son is gone, no one wants my stuff.

I am sending a few things to cousins who knew my mom. Only a few have kids. So most will be lost..

Someone will sell my jewelry, they won't care about the history of my charms, both 14k gold and sterling silver. It make me a bit sad...

I think you should write down the history of your charms, maybe even make a scrapbook layout about them if you’re so inclined. I think things like that are fascinating and I also think to have the history that goes with it would be awesome, even to a stranger.

I have my dad’s wedding ring and my mom’s birthstone ring that he gave to her. I have a weird collection of things that were my aunt’s, like her diploma from nursing school (as far as I know, she never actually went on to be a nurse and I never got the chance to ask why so now it’s forever a mystery). I have a super old, tiny brown leather baby shoe that my mom said belonged to her dad, but I’m not sure if that’s true, and an old china sugar bowl without a lid that supposedly was my grandma’s.

My grandfather never really wrote much and when he died, my grandmother sent me 2 things of his. His work stool that he sat on to repair watches and jewelry (it was “my” chair at the dining table when we were all together) and an empty tissue box that he had written his name and initials all over. He died in 2004 and that tissue box is still in my curio.

I know how you feel, it’s something I just started considering fairly recently. DH and I don’t have children, so no one to pass things on to. You might ask around for nieces and such for the charm bracelet, I’m noticing more people wearing them recently. I have 5, started my first one at 19 so there’s a lot of history there. 

I’m not as sentimental as many, so we don’t have much from our relatives. We had some jewelry and other medals and small bits from DH’s grandparents which I displayed in a jewelry box with a glass front for years and years, but after many we decided it wasn’t giving us much joy so we passed most of it along to other family members. Now we have a Boston marathon running poster from DH’s grandpa formed to match DH’s first marathon poster from NYC (grandpa came!), some of his old running t-shirts I had made into a quilt, and his old running shoes and race results book, they used to do races together so those things mean a lot to him and are attached to good memories.  

We also have their old Christmas village collection which he loved every year growing up, and one of the original buildings from their village was the start to our own village collection. And his Grandma’s old secretary which houses our sentimental stuff that we keep, and her hard hat she took from job to job which is displayed front and center in our entertainment center.

His Dad is a wood-worker and when our son was stillborn he made a gorgeous wooden box for us store some items in from his birth, with his name carved in the front. That’s the first thing we will grab in an emergency. 

For me I have a pair of Granma’s diamond earrings Grandad gave to me for being so involved in preparing her services. And that’s it. 

That was an interesting read.

I have lots of practical things from my paternal grandparents, my grandfather had already passed away and my grandmother went into full time care shortly after I moved out of student housing and needed a house full of things. After she died I got some of her nicer practical things. So, my everyday dinnerware is two of her 'better' sets of crockery, I use a breadknife which she made me promise I would return when I no longer needed it. My first couch was a 1960's click clack couch that was stored in her shed and is now in my office. I just had her orange and brown sled-based couch restored (although it no longer has 70's orange cushions). We have a cupboard/drawers thing known as grandma's undies drawers that sits at one end of our dining room which is the drop zone for keys and phones and similar stuff.

But I also have the crystal dish that used to sit on her dressing table, which still holds all the same things it did when she died. And I have the fabric brushes that belonged to my grandfather which are engraved with his initials and kept in the original boxes that have all but fallen apart. We have old baby food jars filled with once-shiny 1 and 2 cent pieces because my grandmother always kept the shiny ones. And although they are now stored elsewhere, we still have the nightgowns and things that belonged to my great grandmother that were stored in grandma's undies drawers.

My mama was a keeper of everything for many years but as she got older and older was willing to let go. I keep a few very selective things. I firmly subscribe to the notion that the memories are inside of us and not in the item.

I kept two of the “family pieces” of crystal my mama had. I took the remainder to a cousins’ weekend so they could each have one. We all agreed we would each cherish one piece more than we would a whole cabinet full of them that simply induced guilt to hang on to them.

My parents were what I call organized hoarders. When they both died unexpectedly, we had to clean out the house while also dealing with early grief, and let me tell you, we all kept way too much of their stuff. Because there was just sooooooo much stuff. The things I've kept are fairly important to me and my kids know their history and value, but ultimately it's up to them to decide what they will keep after I'm gone.

Sixteen years later, I've gotten rid of most of the stuff I kept in my grief-fueled desire to have my parents' stuff with me. But I've become obsessive about regularly ridding our house of the remnants of past hobbies, collectibles, ill-fitting clothes and other stuff that people often keep. If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, I don't want my kids to have to deal with all of that. It's not fair to them.

My mother did lots of crafts, but her favorite hobby was miniatures. She had custom ordered a dollhouse w/lighting and some other cool stuff. It took a year to complete the order. Sadly it arrived 2 days after her terminal diagnosis. She was able to walk to the garage and see it out of the box, but that was it. I couldn't bare to part w/it, so I had it shipped to my house w/her entire collection. It was in my craft room. It took up most of my craft room. A few years later I realized that I would never work on it and I sold off her collection and was able to find a buyer for the house. That's when I realized that sometimes a photo is a better keepsake.

I think about this a lot. When my father died, there was nothing I wanted. I'd already sent to Goodwill a half-dozen boxes of china he had given me that I guess he had bought for my grandmother that I had never seen, didn't like, and weren't valuable. My husband and I were talking a few weeks ago about what we'd keep from my mother--she has a packed two-bedroom apartment, and aside from some photos, literally nothing. Unless my kids want anything, it's just going to be me packing a hundred boxes for Goodwill.