iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,134
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:46 GMT
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Post by iowgirl on Jan 30, 2024 15:12:42 GMT
I have to appreciate so many of you Mom's having late kids. I can remember how frustrated I was! It's nice to see that we are not alone, and for the most part it is something that passes eventually!
Living with a rancher/farmer has been a challenge. We are often late getting to events, etc., due to the nature of livestock. Something ALWAYS goes wrong when we have plans. And the livestock come first. If the water isn't working, or fence is down, a sick animal, or the worst "COWS ARE OUT" - we are going to be late. If it's planting or harvest season, we will absolutely be late, if we end up getting there at all. I always inform people ahead of time that we will probably be late. I don't plan rides with anyone, because I don't want to worry about them being late too.
We were at a wedding once, and the beer coozies said "Party till the cows come home" ... my daughter pointed out that it should say "Party till the cows get out", 'cause we have to leave then ... LOL
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 30, 2024 15:15:32 GMT
I agree with sideways and nightnurse that school just starts too early for high school kids in most places. I agree with teenagers needing more sleep, but I found it amazing that he could get up and get going quite early for things he really wanted to do. He could get to early morning sports practices that started at 6 am on time. He most definetly could get up before dawn to go fishing or go to the lake. No problem what so ever on that stuff... so, I finally quit giving him the slack on 'teenage sleep'. I know a lot of if was late night on the phone texting, etc. What is funny now that he is an adult - he hardly looks at his phone. Distains all social media. Doesn't take his phone with him into his work. It's like a switch flipped, and it was with all my kids. They almost seem to hate the phones and how tied everyone is to them. They have little to no social media, they do text me and we have a group snap chat - but they really only look at that during the evening hours. Isn’t this pretty much true for anybody though? It’s much easier to get going and be excited for something you want to do. School isn’t necessarily that, for many kids it’s drudgery. Personally, I HATED school. Hated everything about it. Anything that can make it even a bit more tolerable helps. There has been a considerable amount of research that shows that grades, overall school performance, tardiness and attendance, etc. all improve when high school start times are later in the morning. Even things like traffic accidents involving teens decrease when school start times are later. Plus, I think it’s easier to get up early when the things they are getting up early for are one offs or a couple times a week or even for a season vs. every.single.day. For example, I could roll out of bed at 4:00 am for a flight to go on a vacation I’m excited about a whole lot easier than if I had to do it every day for work. I just attended a high school orientation/ curriculum fair for my kid who will be a freshman next year and OMG it’s overwhelming. Kids today are under an increasing amount of pressure earlier and earlier. The middle school she’s in is already talking to the 8th graders about their four and six year plans. Really? What 13 year old knows what they want to do for the rest of their lives? And why on earth are we expecting this? I get it that college is expensive and there are things that can be done to minimize that cost. But really, it’s crazy the level of planning that has to be done to capitalize on those opportunities and there’s very, very little room for error or deviation from the plan.
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,842
Jun 26, 2014 17:47:08 GMT
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Post by peppermintpatty on Jan 30, 2024 15:18:27 GMT
My kids were as well. They would leave to go somewhere 10 minutes before they were supposed to be there, if it was 20 min away, they were late. It bugged me to no end. I'm on the creative side and am always early to things (so much that I wished I could be more like my kids) but I knew that if I showed up 5 min late to something, it would cause me to be stressed so I just accepted that I am going to be on time or early for things.
I decided to just let them be kids and if they are late, they are late. No amount of badgering is going to get them to change so it wasn't worth it to me to get into arguments about it. You just have to let him be habitually late and eventually there will be consequences that are not given by you. Those generally have more weight that if mom gets mad at them.
My sister's family is always late for family dinners, but my mom never catered to them. They were late, they ate cold food. They didn't care so neither did we.
I don't really care if kids brains aren't wired to get up early, they have to learn to do it. It isn't hard to do. You just have to do it. Stop wasting so much time getting ready in the morning. Put your clothes out the night before, pack your lunch the night before. It works.
Both my kids learned in college that they had to be on time for classes/exams. I wasn't going to hold their hands. They both learned really quickly to be on time.
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Post by grammadee on Jan 30, 2024 15:39:55 GMT
As peppermintpatty says, the odds are he will learn through natural consequences to be on time when it matters. I think the Charlie Brown cartoons portray parental messages perfectly ("wa-wa-wa-wa-wa"). I was amazed when my oldest--aged 17 at the time and having had to be pulled out of bed every school morning--woke up on his own at 6:00AM, made his own lunch, and packed his work gear to show up for an oilfield job he didn't even HAVE yet. Did that three days in a row until they hired him, and continued to do that all summer. His own son is now a successful EMT shift worker even though he lost more than one summer job for habitually showing up late.
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,002
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on Jan 30, 2024 16:09:08 GMT
I hate being late. I instilled that in my children. I have one daughter who is late to things, but all of my kids made it to school on time. My band sons learned very early that you had to be to practice early. ON time was late. My oldest did not like to get up, but he learned how to do it. They had to be to band by 7:00 a.m. and sometimes earlier.
I know some people are chronically late, but I think it is something you can work on. I always give myself 30 minutes more than I think it will take. I would rather be early.
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,134
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:46 GMT
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Post by iowgirl on Jan 30, 2024 16:18:49 GMT
There has been a considerable amount of research that shows that grades, overall school performance, tardiness and attendance, etc. all improve when high school start times are later in the morning. Even things like traffic accidents involving teens decrease when school start times are later. My kids were almost always at school well before the start time. Morning practices for XC started at 6 am. Sometimes they would come back home for a shower, but most of the time they just did that at school and had breakfast there. Band practices were at 7 am and a lot of the teachers had office hours at 7:30 am. When my kids were younger, they got on the bus at 7 am everyday, so the early start for school was something that was always there. My son just struggled more in high school. It's one of those things you have to get through to the other side. I would much rather have them start at a somewhat earlier time, and get out earlier. They all had sports practices after school, and didn't get home till 5 or 5:30 (non-game days). So if they started practices even later, with a later start school day - it would be super late when they got home. They had chores at home that had to be done too. Once they hit the age of 14 they could drive to school - so when my oldest turned 14, she drove, and her siblings rode with her. They didn't have to always leave at the crack of dawn that way, but they would take the bus if she was going in early for practices. Geeze, I am glad those days are over! LOL
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 30, 2024 17:29:00 GMT
There has been a considerable amount of research that shows that grades, overall school performance, tardiness and attendance, etc. all improve when high school start times are later in the morning. Even things like traffic accidents involving teens decrease when school start times are later. My kids were almost always at school well before the start time. Morning practices for XC started at 6 am. Sometimes they would come back home for a shower, but most of the time they just did that at school and had breakfast there. Band practices were at 7 am and a lot of the teachers had office hours at 7:30 am. When my kids were younger, they got on the bus at 7 am everyday, so the early start for school was something that was always there. My son just struggled more in high school. It's one of those things you have to get through to the other side. I would much rather have them start at a somewhat earlier time, and get out earlier. They all had sports practices after school, and didn't get home till 5 or 5:30 (non-game days). So if they started practices even later, with a later start school day - it would be super late when they got home. They had chores at home that had to be done too. Once they hit the age of 14 they could drive to school - so when my oldest turned 14, she drove, and her siblings rode with her. They didn't have to always leave at the crack of dawn that way, but they would take the bus if she was going in early for practices. Geeze, I am glad those days are over! LOL But sports and those things are all optional. Kids aren’t required to do them so if it’s something a kid WANTS to do, of course they’re going to get up early for that. Kids who are motivated and goal oriented are going to be more willing to do those optional things. School isn’t optional. I think part of the desire to change to a later start is in response to those kids who are on the fringes. The ones who aren’t involved with sports or other extracurriculars, who aren’t necessarily college bound, the ones who are at risk for not getting good grades or maybe not even showing up. If we can do things that help those kids stay on track so they do better and are more successful, stay in school and graduate they have a better chance to not end up dead or in jail. As a parent in a district that is considering making the switch, I’m really curious if those schools that have already switched to later start times just moved some or all of their after school activities and practices to before school instead? With our proposed change, school wouldn’t start until almost 9:00 am, so even if she had to be to school at 8:00 for a club or activity, that would be a huge improvement. My kid is an only and I don’t have anyone local to me in a district that has already switched to a later start that I can ask. For the extracurricular things my kid does now (jazz band, film club) one has meetings before school for a half hour one day a week and the other thing has meetings after school for about 45 minutes one day a week. If the school start is pushed back by an hour, she’s still getting home well before 5:00 pm. She’s also in the honor society but all of those activities are on her own time totally outside of school but membership is dependent on keeping her GPA up.
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Post by Jamie on Jan 30, 2024 19:01:22 GMT
Yeah, I think I'd have a conversation with those teachers asking that they not excuse him being tardy just because he's a good student. They are just allowing it to continue to happen and he's not going to learn without consequences.
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Post by AussieMeg on Jan 30, 2024 22:10:16 GMT
I thought I posted this yesterday, but I’ve just opened my phone and the post is still just sitting here! 😆
I’m not sure what age or year level a “senior” is, but I assume it would be Year 11 or 12. You could be describing my son in Year 11. I used to drive him to school on the days I was working from home, and he was late most days. It did my head in, because I am very punctual. Oh the arguments we had!!
He left school after Year 11 and got an apprenticeship. I was sooooo worried that he was going to be late to work, and potentially get laid off, but I needn’t have worried. It was like a switch was flicked, and in the two and a bit years he’s been working (ages 17-19) he has never got up late for work.
So what’s the moral of the story? I don’t really know! 😁 I guess it’s that they will be on time for something that’s important to them, or something that will have real consequences when they’re late. Or maybe just when they mature a bit.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,508
Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Jan 30, 2024 22:48:59 GMT
I have to appreciate so many of you Mom's having late kids. I can remember how frustrated I was! It's nice to see that we are not alone, and for the most part it is something that passes eventually! Living with a rancher/farmer has been a challenge. We are often late getting to events, etc., due to the nature of livestock. Something ALWAYS goes wrong when we have plans. And the livestock come first. If the water isn't working, or fence is down, a sick animal, or the worst "COWS ARE OUT" - we are going to be late. If it's planting or harvest season, we will absolutely be late, if we end up getting there at all. I always inform people ahead of time that we will probably be late. I don't plan rides with anyone, because I don't want to worry about them being late too. We were at a wedding once, and the beer coozies said "Party till the cows come home" ... my daughter pointed out that it should say "Party till the cows get out", 'cause we have to leave then ... LOL This is how I grew up. As a result I am always 10 minutes early for everything. Once in a great while I will cruise in right on time and observe that it was perfectly ok and that I should do that more often.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,427
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Jan 31, 2024 0:38:58 GMT
This morning my 12 year old was up at 5:45 (on her own) because she knows when she gets up at 5:45 she can grab her phone from the dock outside my door. She got dressed, made her own breakfast, got her 7 year old brother up and moving then came to my room to let me know it was 6:40 and I better get up or I’d be late for school 😂
I’m so thankful that my kids willingly get up in the mornings. We are out the door by 7:15 weekday mornings. DD catches the bus and I drop DS off at school with a few minutes to spare on the way to my school. My Continuation HS students don’t start until 8:20. IMO the later starts hasn’t done anything to help with being on time or grades. The kids cruise in whatever time they want. We document it, we call home, nothing changes. I actually thought long and hard about not teaching math 1/2 period because of the tardies but realized that if I moved it later in the day they would still be late so I did what worked best for me. Today I had 4/16 kids in my room when class started at 8:20. At 8:25, I had 7/16. At 9 I had 10/16. Only 10 showed up for my class today. I’m done with the “lecture” by 9 so they missed ALL of the direct instruction and had to figure out the less on their own.
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Post by smasonnc on Jan 31, 2024 14:35:03 GMT
I would implement serious consequences at home for everyday he is late to school. Yep. No phone, computer, car. There was also a penalty for making me bring lunch or a band instrument. Take 40 minutes out of my day and you do 40 minutes of chores when you get home. These things are up to the parents to instill. Hoping that natural consequences teach a kid to be punctual is not a strategy. A few times my eldest dragged her feet getting ready to go to elementary school. I put her clothes and breakfast in a bag and she got in the car in her pjs. I gave her a minute to change before we got out of the garage or we would have pulled over so she could finish dressing. That sorted out the problem. Sports teams helped by having consequences as well. This was rarely a problem by the time they got to high school. My youngest had her own alarm clock at 7 because older sibs all had them. I never had to wake her up again. She was home recently and DH told me to go in and check that she was awake. She answered the door and said, "You forgot who you're dealing with, didn't you?"
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