casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,461 
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Post by casii on Jan 30, 2024 16:39:08 GMT
My niece is graduating in June. My sis is stumped as to how to work out sleeping arrangements since our father is seriously dating and wants to bring his girlfriend. Dad has always been a fundie Christian, do as I say, not as I do, kind of guy. His girlfriend has a son who is a pastor of a fundie church.
But sis doesn't have the space for 2 separate bedrooms, plus DH & I who are traveling from out of town, plus the grad and the grad's big sister. I've offered for DH and I to get a hotel room, but sis says we've been super connected with our nieces whereas Dad has been pretty spotty as a grandparent, so she'd prefer we stay at the house.
What would you do? They have 3 bedrooms, one sleeper sofa in an upstairs loft and a basement with big sofas, but no bathroom. At this point to keep it simple, I may book a hotel room anyway. Kind of puts a damper on late night sibling talks, but seems the easiest route.
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Post by littlemama on Jan 30, 2024 16:47:32 GMT
Does your dad want separate bedrooms?? If he is do as I say,not as I do, I would think they would want separate
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Post by epeanymous on Jan 30, 2024 16:50:37 GMT
Has your father expressed a preference? Is your sister not wanting unmarried people to stay in the same room? It may be worth it, if your sister isn’t caring about whether unmarried people share a room, to see if they just want to stay together — no one is laboring under the delusion that they are virgins  . If they don’t want to share a room, I’d get a hotel room. |
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Post by hopechest on Jan 30, 2024 16:56:26 GMT
Is there a space that they would be sleeping in the same room but not together? Like in the loft with the hide-a-bed? Is there room on the floor for an extra mattress or blowup?
Or, are you asking if you should let them sleep together in the same bed even though you know it's against what they believe? Is that an issue for your sister?
Either way -- I guess my call would be..."here is your sleeping option. We would love you to stay with us. If you like it fine, if not here is a number to a nearby hotel".
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Post by workingclassdog on Jan 30, 2024 16:56:38 GMT
I would offer what is available and see what they want.. I guess.. lol
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pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,719
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Post by pantsonfire on Jan 30, 2024 16:59:28 GMT
Offer a room together or if that is a no, send a list of local hotels/motels.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Jan 30, 2024 17:01:39 GMT
Has she asked your dad? That seems like the simplest way to figure it out.
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Jan 30, 2024 17:13:58 GMT
I find it best to just be upfront with these discussions. The first time I brought now-DH home to my folks house, I just said, "We're adults - you should put us in the same room." It would have been a challenge for my mom to arrange anything else, too. So I would be matter of fact with dad, "Hey, we have space limitations. Would you rather share the guest room or have me get you some hotel recommendations."
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styxgirl
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 27, 2014 4:51:44 GMT
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Post by styxgirl on Jan 30, 2024 17:23:20 GMT
You could ask Dad if he plans to get hotel room(s?) for him and his girlfriend. Sounds like with the relationships it wouldn't be a huge deal for them to stay out of the home.
Second option would be to let them know that they will be rooming together but that there will be a blow-up bed (cot, etc provided) so they don't have to share a bed.
Put them in the basement with the big sofas :-) They each can have a sofa and share a bathroom with others.
Two people can share a room/bed and not have sex if that is what everyone is stressing about.
We had a big ol' family Christmas a few years ago. It was a fancy house of my niece's MIL with 3 bedrooms and an office we converted to a bedroom for the occasion. People were sleeping everywhere. LOLOL!! Sofas, air beds, sleeping bags. It was awesome to all be under one roof. Hope you all have fun and congrats to the graduate!
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casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,461
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Post by casii on Jan 30, 2024 17:26:09 GMT
I don't care whether they sleep in the same room. Sis probably doesn't really care either. The kicker is, if the shoe was on the other foot, they would care very much if we were to bring home a boyfriend and announce we're sharing a bed. LOL
I told her to be up front. I'm surprised she's worried about it. They plan to visit me first and I have the space, so I'll make up both rooms, but not freak out should some elders stumble out of room together in the morning. Ha
When mom was still alive, I did get major grief over putting the grandparents in a hotel for weddings. A soon to be married person and their wedding party, took precedence before a grandparent house takeover.
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Post by gillyp on Jan 30, 2024 17:31:49 GMT
“Dad, it’s going to be noisy and cramped at ours. How would you two best like to sleep?”
If he comes up with something you can’t work around then offer to book a hotel.
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Post by mikklynn on Jan 30, 2024 18:29:44 GMT
I find it best to just be upfront with these discussions. The first time I brought now-DH home to my folks house, I just said, "We're adults - you should put us in the same room." It would have been a challenge for my mom to arrange anything else, too. So I would be matter of fact with dad, "Hey, we have space limitations. Would you rather share the guest room or have me get you some hotel recommendations."  |
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 30, 2024 20:05:39 GMT
"Hey dad, I have one room to offer you. Where would you like sleep?" Let him tell you with the gf or he can figure it out.
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Post by its me mg on Jan 30, 2024 20:29:23 GMT
I'd book the hotel room but send dad over there
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by ellen on Jan 31, 2024 2:36:42 GMT
Is it possible that your dad is planning to book a hotel since he’ll have his girlfriend with him? She might not want to stay at your sister’s house. If they are staying at the house, I think I’d probably get a hotel room.
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Post by mom on Jan 31, 2024 4:33:26 GMT
I don't care whether they sleep in the same room. Sis probably doesn't really care either. The kicker is, if the shoe was on the other foot, they would care very much if we were to bring home a boyfriend and announce we're sharing a bed. LOL
I told her to be up front. I'm surprised she's worried about it. They plan to visit me first and I have the space, so I'll make up both rooms, but not freak out should some elders stumble out of room together in the morning. Ha When mom was still alive, I did get major grief over putting the grandparents in a hotel for weddings. A soon to be married person and their wedding party, took precedence before a grandparent house takeover. I think in this case, the best way to handle this is to show Dad more grace than he would have shown you. Ask him how he'd like to handle it ahead of time and be as accommodating as you can. I probably would ask more specifically if he'd be ok staying at a hotel so they can have privacy and quiet. |
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anniebygaslight
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Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jan 31, 2024 6:57:31 GMT
I’d leave it to your sister to sort out. She is the host.
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SabrinaP
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Post by SabrinaP on Jan 31, 2024 12:57:29 GMT
I think your sister needs to talk with dad and he probably needs to get a hotel. That would probably be the most comfortable thing for everyone.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jan 31, 2024 14:21:20 GMT
I think your sister should talk to dad about what he prefers since he knows their relationship as well as the constraints of her sleeping arrangements.
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