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Post by epeanymous on Feb 3, 2024 18:52:36 GMT
It’s me, but dh every once in a while gets something into his head. This house, eg, has a lot of dark paint because we bought it that way and dh liked it and wouldn’t let me change it, so, eg, the craft room-second kitchen (which I am the only person who uses) is eggplant and brown (I am not a fan). I did at least convince him to let me paint the bedroom—it was eggplant and brown too, and I could not wake up to that.
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Post by dewryce on Feb 3, 2024 19:27:32 GMT
Both. I always make sure to ask and he’s honest about when he does and doesn’t care. But some of our choices people would ascribe to me are all him. He even suggested we bring purple (my favorite color) into the bedroom, I don’t think he cares too much about girly. But, he also knows I’m not into overly feminine aesthetic either so he doesn’t have to worry I’ll take it too far.
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Post by scrapmaven on Feb 3, 2024 19:33:58 GMT
My dad was a professional interior designer. He used to help us choose everything. Years after he's gone we are going to hire a designer to help us w/some basics.
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Post by Lexica on Feb 3, 2024 20:10:24 GMT
Do men even notice decor? Last time I redecorated our bedroom I bought a bedspread that is several shades of pink, mint green and white. Started trying to match pink paint to it and my DH said “I don’t wanna sleep in a pink room, it’s too girly.” I asked him what color of paint was on the bedroom walls now and he said grey. Nope. A very bright coral, so not that far from pink. For the record he snores just the same in there, no matter the wall color. 😂🤣😂🤣 One of my neighbors decorated their master in a pale dusty pink and had lots of very feminine touches in there. I asked her if it bothered her husband at all. She said it was quite the opposite. He loved it. He said it felt like he was sneaking into her bedroom at her parent’s house because that room was very feminine also. They had been a couple since high school so he saw her teen feminine bedroom, but was not allowed in there unless it was to help move something heavy and her mom was in the room too. I guess it was a huge turn on for him as if he was getting away with something. I guess it is all in the way they look at it.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,811
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on Feb 3, 2024 21:08:04 GMT
My DH doesn't care that much about the little things like wall hangings or knick knacks but if I put something up that he doesn't like, he will let me know. The big things like furniture, floorings, paint colors, countertops- we pick all that out together. He doesn't have to worry about me going too feminine. That's not something I would care for either. Our tastes are fairly similar.
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Post by chedanemi on Feb 3, 2024 21:16:45 GMT
I would say my husband and I decorate equally. We both like unique items and will wait to buy something until we stumble onto the perfect item. Our entire house is decorated cohesively. We had two different sets of friends stay with us last summer who both commented that the things we've chosen for our home were obviously specially curated to fit our decorating style/taste.
Now, that's not to say we are high end decorators... we just know what we like!
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,020
Jun 25, 2014 19:25:50 GMT
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Post by mimima on Feb 3, 2024 21:56:40 GMT
Neither of us
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edie3
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,482
Jun 26, 2014 1:03:18 GMT
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Post by edie3 on Feb 3, 2024 23:13:25 GMT
I will add that if it is something big, like paint color for a room, furniture, stuff like that, we mutually decide.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 4, 2024 4:22:16 GMT
We are pretty good at picking out furniture together and we also talk paint colors. Other than that, I usually do the buying and decorating and he seems to like it. My ideal decorating style would be snowy chateau. I saw an episode of Nate and Jeremiah by Design and thought they got it spot on and have decided that is my style. I do like more color though.
We moved into a home built in the 80s and it is on the side of a mountain and the yard is definitely sloped from side to side. We pulled out massive juniper bushes, painted the house, added in iron, stacked rock work, carved wooden creatures, colored paved walks etc. We've received so many nice comments on it. One lady came by and asked me if I was a designer. She was looking for help. It was really one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. My DIL tells me that I can decorate any room well. I know that isn't entirely true, but I do appreciate that we have a similar style.
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Post by cindytred on Feb 4, 2024 7:36:46 GMT
Ugh! When I was married cost was always a huge consideration so we "made do" a lot. The ex wanted to be involved in all the decisions so I let him make the decisions to keep the peace. I hated it. Towards the end of the marriage it got really bad. I told him he has the decorating taste of a hobo and its the truth! Thats been the best part of living on my own - I have my house fixed up exactly like I want it. I'm a happy girl.
Cindy
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Post by Tearisci on Feb 4, 2024 15:59:31 GMT
Honestly, living alone after my divorce and decorating the way I wanted to was probably one of the best things to come out of it. ExH and I never really agreed on style so having the freedom to decorate my own place was just so liberating. Although my BIL has a good eye for design so I do take his advice sometimes but I have the final decision so that works for me!
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Feb 4, 2024 17:22:38 GMT
Last night DH and I had a conversation about the painting and decorating. He said he is irritated that I can't make a decision, but he could "live in a mud pit" and doesn't care about it. So I guess that solves it lol. I do like to be able to choose what I want for the most part, but in some ways I wish he did care a little more because none of the projects that I have in mind will get done with much help because he doesn't care about them.
On the other hand, I got to be friendly with a neighbor last spring. We talked about flowers in the yard and she said that they have no planters, etc and that she would like some. She went to the nursery with me and said she liked a lot of things, but that her husband is very particular about what colors of flowers and that she would need to get his input before buying any. I thought that seemed odd and that he might be controlling in other ways.
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Post by Zee on Feb 4, 2024 17:37:32 GMT
Ugh! When I was married cost was always a huge consideration so we "made do" a lot. The ex wanted to be involved in all the decisions so I let him make the decisions to keep the peace. I hated it. Towards the end of the marriage it got really bad. I told him he has the decorating taste of a hobo and its the truth! Thats been the best part of living on my own - I have my house fixed up exactly like I want it. I'm a happy girl. Cindy I want to know how a hobo decorates? I don't think they have much to work with, really... Lol I'm curious! I've decided I'm definitely Maximalist. The only thing I really hate is 80s and 90s stuff. I hate dusty rose, country blue, geese, sunflowers, fake ivy, Hunter Green with burgundy, fake "Tuscan", big ugly bunches of flowers from the 90s in baskets, brass and glass. Most of the 70s was hideous but give me a spider plant in a macrame planter, a painting of an owl, and a bicentennial eagle lamp and I'll build reading nook around it.
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Post by lisae on Feb 4, 2024 18:15:20 GMT
I chose everything. I ask Dh's opinion and he cringes not because of what I picked but because I expect him to have an opinion. Men care about comfort over style.
In the many years that I made custom window treatments, there were very few husbands who had any preference (other than cost) on what was chosen for the home. There was one job where the husband took charge of all decisions. I thought he was a bully. He didn't accept my quote and I was relieved to walk away from the job.
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Post by KikiPea on Feb 4, 2024 18:32:33 GMT
I do most of the decorating. DH helps pick out the furniture in the main rooms and in his office. He also has full decorating choices for his office, he just asks for my opinion.
He also has just as much input on flooring and paint as I do.
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Post by wordyphotogbabe on Feb 4, 2024 18:54:36 GMT
My husband has spent the majority of his adult life working in screenprinting so he actually has an eye for color. He also has a very certain aesthetic when it comes to his own clothing and accessories e.g. like a Land's End ad. He often coordinates his clothing with mine when we go to church or out on dates. My office, where I work from home, is over-the-top me: hot pink, a plaster unicorn head & lots of super feminist art on the walls, a green velvet couch, a rainbow Christmas tree during December, etc. The rest of the house is a more muted neutral version of me that works better for everyone else in my house. He has veto power over large household purchases/furniture if he truly doesn't like it, etc. but he rarely does so. We currently have wallpaper with gigantic white peonies all over the great room which he is not the biggest fan of but it was the best choice of the options I presented him with and he didn't have any of his own options for me to consider.
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Post by freecharlie on Feb 4, 2024 19:44:51 GMT
Nobody really. I suck at it, xh didn't care, so it was very minimal
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Post by Neisey on Feb 5, 2024 2:09:42 GMT
DSO has a great eye for design and enjoys shopping. We discuss and make choices together and we are usually on the same page.
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Post by Jamie on Feb 5, 2024 14:30:09 GMT
Furniture we both put our $.02 in. Other than that he couldn't care, but I'm the minimalist out of the 2 of us. I do like changing out seasonally my hutch in the dining room, but other that that I am so happy with the holidays are over and I can take down the Christmas decor and get my space back. And I only have the tree and a few other items out. Him on the other hand - he has the basement for himself. He has so much stuff down there and some of the items he decides he's going to put up, I just don't get. (It's just an unfinished cinderblock basement) But whatever, he does the wash so I don't go down there unless I need something and he isn't home.
I'd say the last 5 years I just don't enjoy shopping like I used to. My cousin and I would plan a girls day just go shopping and now I just cringe when she brings it up. Probably why my current quilt set on our bed was bought on Amazon. So much easier just to scroll through there and have it brought right to my door.
There's times I would love to have a bigger, more decorated house, but that just isn't us and that's ok.
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,713
Location: Houston, TX
Jun 25, 2014 22:47:49 GMT
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Post by smartypants71 on Feb 5, 2024 14:36:38 GMT
DH actually likes to be involved in furniture and wall decor choices. He is the reason we have so many framed concert posters around the house. He's also been involved in purchasing artwork from various places we've traveled. But he's not particularly interested in soft goods - drapes, pillows, etc. That's all me. So I know he at least doesn't hate the furniture or the stuff on the walls. I don't think he could care less about the rest of it. This is us too! Our DH's should get together and compare their poster collection. Mine could talk about it for days! I don't mind it, but for some reason I get stuck with the responsibility of getting them framed.
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Post by workingclassdog on Feb 5, 2024 15:28:50 GMT
I do. Which isn't saying much. I need to stop watching videos on how to decorate as I am lame.
DH doesn't care. He's never home anyways. As long as I don't turn the house into a pink chateau we are good.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 5, 2024 16:00:09 GMT
Together-ish. He does have his opinions, but if all the decorating was left up to him the whole house would look like a man cave, ugh. I really should have drawn the line on the 9’ long taxidermy sailfish he dragged home from some client’s garage sale. 🙄 Now it’s hanging on the wall in our junk filled formal living room.
We made all of the decisions for our lake home together and that mostly turned out fine and is much more cohesive than our house in the city. Our house has more of that “hobo vibe” that was previously mentioned, LOL, in part because nice furniture is really dang expensive! We were looking for a couch for the lake cabin a few years ago, and anything built even halfway decently was in the neighborhood of $5-6K which to me is insane. We ended up buying a cold dark gray sectional from another one of his clients for $400 who was getting married and moving, even though the whole room it’s in is all done in warm cabin-y colors and wood tones so to me the gray just doesn't go.
He did the same thing when we needed some towels for the lower level guest bath at the cabin. Again it’s all wood tones and lake themed, and he came home with gray towels that didn’t match or even coordinate with anything. 🤦🏻♀️ Brown would have been ideal, tan or cream would have been acceptable, even bright primary colors would have worked with the decor in the room (think colorful fishing lures, red and white bobbers, etc.). But no.
I will say he’s much, MUCH better when it comes to plants and landscaping though. I can’t even keep silk plants from looking dead, LOL.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,763
Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on Feb 5, 2024 16:08:20 GMT
Decor? My DH wouldn’t notice if I parked an elephant in the room as long as it didn’t block the tv.
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Post by hop2 on Feb 5, 2024 18:38:16 GMT
My Ex was the one who made all of those decisions. Or at least mostly, I did veto a few things during our marriage. ( funnily jeremysgirl it was usually paint/finish colors that I vetoed. ) Colors and once when he wanted to replace the only crap window in the house with another cheap window I mixed that too. To me there’s no sense incurring the expense to do all that labor and have it be crappy again, we got the house at 1 year old and the window was already crap so why put that back in? I’m not sure if it was because ‘decor’ was not a hill I was going to die on so I just let him do whatever or if I really didn’t have opinions. Considering my background & training I should have had opinions. I found it difficult to make those decisions when we were divorced because after 27 years or either not having or repressing my opinions it was hard to trust my thoughts. My decisions seemed so random and therefore it was hard, still is hard, to trust my decisions. Maybe that is part of why I never went back to my former career. I seem incapacitated in that area. Yes, yes, I need therapy that’s another thread.
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Post by cindytred on Feb 7, 2024 15:25:53 GMT
Ugh! When I was married cost was always a huge consideration so we "made do" a lot. The ex wanted to be involved in all the decisions so I let him make the decisions to keep the peace. I hated it. Towards the end of the marriage it got really bad. I told him he has the decorating taste of a hobo and its the truth! Thats been the best part of living on my own - I have my house fixed up exactly like I want it. I'm a happy girl. Cindy I want to know how a hobo decorates? I don't think they have much to work with, really... Lol I'm curious! I've decided I'm definitely Maximalist. The only thing I really hate is 80s and 90s stuff. I hate dusty rose, country blue, geese, sunflowers, fake ivy, Hunter Green with burgundy, fake "Tuscan", big ugly bunches of flowers from the 90s in baskets, brass and glass. Most of the 70s was hideous but give me a spider plant in a macrame planter, a painting of an owl, and a bicentennial eagle lamp and I'll build reading nook around it. LOL. One day I came home and found him sitting in the formal dining room on theater chairs he bought off Craigslist. He had pushed the dining room table up against the wall and next to it was the extra theater chairs that wouldn't fit in his little tv watching area that he had created. This was the first thing visitors saw when they came in the house. Another day I came home and he'd gone to a used furniture sale at The Hard Rock Hotel. He had set up a little nook in the family room with a cracked vinyl orange bucket chair and a little blue plant stand as a table. He found the plant stand on the patio. Another time he bought the letters E A T and painted them each a different primary color that matched nothing in the house and hung them in the kitchen. Cindy
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Post by Zee on Feb 7, 2024 15:43:50 GMT
I want to know how a hobo decorates? I don't think they have much to work with, really... Lol I'm curious! I've decided I'm definitely Maximalist. The only thing I really hate is 80s and 90s stuff. I hate dusty rose, country blue, geese, sunflowers, fake ivy, Hunter Green with burgundy, fake "Tuscan", big ugly bunches of flowers from the 90s in baskets, brass and glass. Most of the 70s was hideous but give me a spider plant in a macrame planter, a painting of an owl, and a bicentennial eagle lamp and I'll build reading nook around it. LOL. One day I came home and found him sitting in the formal dining room on theater chairs he bought off Craigslist. He had pushed the dining room table up against the wall and next to it was the extra theater chairs that wouldn't fit in his little tv watching area that he had created. This was the first thing visitors saw when they came in the house. Another day I came home and he'd gone to a used furniture sale at The Hard Rock Hotel. He had set up a little nook in the family room with a cracked vinyl orange bucket chair and a little blue plant stand as a table. He found the plant stand on the patio. Another time he bought the letters E A T and painted them each a different primary color that matched nothing in the house and hung them in the kitchen. Cindy 🤣🤣🤣
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Post by ntsf on Feb 7, 2024 16:28:02 GMT
my husband and I just decorated our condo from the walls out. I picked out a lot of the furniture.. but dh had veto power. he doesn't really like the couch, but I wanted a sleeper and it had to fit my short legs. he bought a chair for the bedroom I didn't like.. still there. we mostly talk things through.. and he buys a majority of the art.. we have lots and lots of art.
so our main house.. I mostly make the decisions. now that we are retired and have more money, I have been replacing old stuff with nice stuff. and getting rid of a lot of stuff. we have lots of art on the walls there too. now we are going to inherit a lot of quilts and we have a new opportunity to reshift stuff.
His color sense is not that great. he even had the house painted purple/lavender when I was gone and we had to repaint it.. not cheap. because I sew and have worked with textiles a lot.. I have much better color sense.
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Post by refugeepea on Feb 7, 2024 23:17:50 GMT
No one It's not a priority. More like getting basics done. I DO have ideas, but I don't have the time or patience. Right now, I'd like all the walls in the main living areas painted again.
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Post by melanell on Feb 9, 2024 0:14:32 GMT
I'd say it's evenly split between DH & I. I'm more likely to choose the smaller elements, where he's more interested in big changes, like wall color, large area rugs, or new countertops. I do know we have one area rug that he doesn't love. He gave it the green light when I first pointed it out, but it was purchased online and when it arrived it was different than he was expecting in some way. So when we're ready to re-do that room, I'll have to remember to try to lean more towards whatever he seems to like best.
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Post by OntarioScrapper on Feb 9, 2024 21:31:12 GMT
My husband and I decide together. He's worked in stage theatre his whole life and that includes set building. Though I picked the colour for my Craft/Video Gaming room and switch his blinds with mine. He wanted the small room (for his office)next to our bedroom which had been a girls room with pink blinds (Claims I yell too much on my headset when gaming with others... My room had the blue blinds. The pink blinds go much better with my dark lavender walls.
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