Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Apr 21, 2024 15:22:07 GMT
I have written here before about my struggles with anxiety. I go through phases where it's completely under control, where I sometimes forget about it completely. Then other times, it is completely OUT of control. Those times, I have a hard time even describing to someone what it's like to have severe anxiety and how debilitating it can be. I'm in the midst of a pretty bad phase right now, but not the worst I've had. But dang. It sucks and it's hard and the bad thing is that all of the things I know work for me, are actually hard to do when I'm like this. Anyway, all that to say that a friend of mine who is a therapist posted a link to this article on FB the weekend. It's long, and unfortunately, my anxiety is so high right now I can't even focus on reading the entire thing. LOL I have skimmed it and thought that some of you might learn something from it. This line really spoke to me and it is so true. People always want to "fix it" and say things like reminding me that other people have life worse, that I just need to relax, etc. I wish it were that easy to "just relax." LOL "My resistance was usually triggered by someone trying to fob me off, to fix me, rather than being willing to hear how distressed I felt. I didn’t want a solution from them – in that moment, I wanted their support. And I also wanted to feel that they had seen me – seen me clearly enough to tailor a suggestion that works for me rather than a cookie-cutter solution." Here is a link to the article. If you know someone who suffers with anxiety, I think it does a good job of describing some of what anxiety is like. If you suffer from it yourself, there are a lot of good tips in here. I am saving it to read at a later time when I can hopefully focus on it more. www.carolynspring.com/blog/six-steps-to-managing-anxiety/
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Post by alsomsknit on Apr 21, 2024 15:58:08 GMT
I thought I had anxiety and was supportive of my son, who has severe anxiety. Then I saw a video where someone was describing their anxiety. Showed my son and asked if that was anything like he experienced.
I apologized profusely because I didn’t understand, at all.
He is more forthcoming in how he is feeling, now.
Thank you for sharing the article!
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Post by christine58 on Apr 21, 2024 16:47:30 GMT
Lexapro saved me and my anxiety
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Post by bunnyhug on Apr 21, 2024 17:44:08 GMT
I am saving it to read at a later time when I can hopefully focus on it more. I love that there was an option to open the article as a PDF--I downloaded and printed it out. My brain just can't cope with long articles on the computer screen, but if I have a paper copy, I'm much more likely to be able to read something in one sitting, or maybe just a couple tries at it. And more likely to remember what I've read, too. I don't know if having a hard copy would help you, but I thought I would mention it, just in case
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,868
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Apr 21, 2024 18:31:43 GMT
I go through bouts with "normal" levels of anxiety, then will really struggle. One of my sons has the same issue. I have to say that doing something about adhd has really helped us both. But when the anxiety gets bad, I do try to remind myself that it's my body's fight or flight response to something going on.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,500
Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Apr 21, 2024 18:44:13 GMT
Lexapro saved me and my anxiety I’m not sure what med my husband takes, but it probably saved our marriage. OP - thanks for the link to the article. I’ll read it.
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Post by Lexica on Apr 21, 2024 18:59:52 GMT
I had never dealt with severe anxiety until I developed Fibromyalgia. The thing that bothered me was that there was no trigger at all. I could be as comfortably as could be, curled up on my couch and engrossed in a good movie when it would hit me. I don’t know what it is like for normal people with anxiety but with fibromyalgia, it can hit for no reason like that. I began to think of it as if a valve got stuck in the open position and adrenaline filled my body up to maximum levels. I needed to make sense of it somehow and thinking of it like that made sense to me. I honestly tried to just ride it out since I knew it was just another symptom of having fibromyalgia, but I couldn’t do it. I finally asked my doctor for help. He put me on a lower dose of a medication and once it kicked in, I never had another one. But now I know what people are dealing with when they say they are having an anxiety episode and I have tremendous empathy for every one of you. I will read the article to see if I can find anything that might help me.
Thank you for sharing the link with us.
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Post by Merge on Apr 21, 2024 21:46:42 GMT
Lexapro saved me and my anxiety I’m not sure what med my husband takes, but it probably saved our marriage. OP - thanks for the link to the article. I’ll read it. Zoloft (for me) saved mine and we’ve since added some Wellbutrin. Reading the article, though, it’s clear to me that it’s time to either adjust my meds again or take other self-care steps. I haven’t been sleeping well, have to stop and consciously relax all my tensed up muscles and clenched jaw literally dozens of times per day, and dread almost any human interaction right now.
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Post by AussieMeg on Apr 21, 2024 22:10:42 GMT
I’m questioning this part, so I can better understand, as I have a friend going through this at the moment.
"My resistance was usually triggered by someone trying to…. fix me…. I didn’t want a solution from them…. I also wanted to feel that they had seen me….clearly enough to tailor a suggestion that works for me….”
That’s confusing. She doesn’t want a solution from people but she does want a suggestion from them? 🫤
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Post by Merge on Apr 21, 2024 22:20:56 GMT
I’m questioning this part, so I can better understand, as I have a friend going through this at the moment. "My resistance was usually triggered by someone trying to…. fix me…. I didn’t want a solution from them…. I also wanted to feel that they had seen me….clearly enough to tailor a suggestion that works for me….” That’s confusing. She doesn’t want a solution from people but she does want a suggestion from them? 🫤 Yeah IDK. Kind of sounds like my oldest daughter. When she is feeling really bad, she wants advice, but all the advice is wrong and she ends up lashing out at the person giving it for not knowing just what to say. Hard on her and hard on us.
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Post by peasapie on Apr 22, 2024 11:19:01 GMT
I’m questioning this part, so I can better understand, as I have a friend going through this at the moment. "My resistance was usually triggered by someone trying to…. fix me…. I didn’t want a solution from them…. I also wanted to feel that they had seen me….clearly enough to tailor a suggestion that works for me….” That’s confusing. She doesn’t want a solution from people but she does want a suggestion from them? 🫤 I agree; that’s confusing and feels contradictory. Generalized Anxiety Disorder runs pretty strongly in my family, and Lexapro is a huge help. However, there are breakthrough times that come up now and then. It doesn’t help to hear a marginalizing statement like, “Why are you always worrying about things?” On the other hand, having someone to talk it through with who will ask questions and help with strategies to address the core thing that’s bothering me is often very helpful.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Apr 22, 2024 13:02:50 GMT
I’m questioning this part, so I can better understand, as I have a friend going through this at the moment. "My resistance was usually triggered by someone trying to…. fix me…. I didn’t want a solution from them…. I also wanted to feel that they had seen me….clearly enough to tailor a suggestion that works for me….” That’s confusing. She doesn’t want a solution from people but she does want a suggestion from them? 🫤 I agree; that’s confusing and feels contradictory. Generalized Anxiety Disorder runs pretty strongly in my family, and Lexapro is a huge help. However, there are breakthrough times that come up now and then. It doesn’t help to hear a marginalizing statement like, “Why are you always worrying about things?” On the other hand, having someone to talk it through with who will ask questions and help with strategies to address the core thing that’s bothering me is often very helpful. That's it in a nutshell for me. When I am in a bad phase or even a not-so-bad phase of anxiety, it is not helpful to hear things like, "just stop worrying so needlessly." Or "stop thinking the worst." If feels very dismissive of what I am experiencing. Once when I was in one of the worst bouts of anxiety I have ever had, so bad I could barely even eat for weeks, I tried to share with a friend what I was going through right then, and she said to me that I need to stop acting like I am the only one who has problems. Yeah NOT helpful. But when someone genuinely listens to what I am dealing with and asks what they can do to help, or they know what has helped me in the past and can remind me that "last time, you said __________ helped. Have you tried that?" That is helpful. Because sometimes, when it's really bad, I can't even think straight enough to do what I know helps. Not sure if that makes sense.
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