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Post by tampascrapper on May 17, 2024 13:27:09 GMT
I saw a post on Instagram about playing man chicken. You know when you and a man are walking towards each other and the man always seems to think the woman is going to move over? Man chicken is when you don’t automatically move over, therefore you’re playing chicken with the man. After I saw that post, I started paying attention and it’s true! Men seem to expect me to move over. I have stopped moving over and now I play chicken with them. Most of the time we bump into each other with the man giving me a dirty look. Yesterday, after bumping shoulders a man asked me why I didn’t move. The look on his face when I said “why didn’t you?” was priceless! He opened his mouth but no words came out. He then got a really confused look on his face and walked away shaking his head. I am tired of making room for men and will not do it any longer.
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Post by smasonnc on May 17, 2024 13:41:48 GMT
I've been doing this for years, not just with men. It's true that women naturally give way, but I find that anyone will give way if you don't look at them unless they're militant or inattentive. I stay to the right and if people come toward me two abreast, one of them has to move. I call it courtesy, not chicken. It served me well when I lived overseas in a crowded city without any walking rules. I would fix a 1000 yard stare and walk, otherwise I'd have been jumping out of the way all the time which would have been exhausting.
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Post by Merge on May 17, 2024 13:54:47 GMT
Yep. I started doing this a few years ago in certain circumstances. Some men will move but most do not. It’s not even intentional or malicious - they’ve just been conditioned to believe that women will always make way for them, and most women have been conditioned to do exactly that in the name of being “nice” or “polite.”
I will say also - it’s white men. I don’t do this with men of color because as a white middle aged woman I may be perceived as a threat, but also, they’re far more likely to cede some space on the sidewalk to someone approaching.
Finally, like most women, if I’m walking by myself at night or any place that doesn’t quite feel safe, I’m always scanning ahead and will cross the street to walk if I see anyone approaching me ahead - male or female.
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breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,981 
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on May 17, 2024 14:05:42 GMT
Maybe I should try that with DH when he stands at the counter next to the stove to make a sandwich and blocks the way into and out of the kitchen for 10 minutes...
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 198
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on May 17, 2024 14:12:29 GMT
You could always get THIS and wear dark sunglasses so they don't know where you are looking. (hope the link works) |
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Post by KikiPea on May 17, 2024 14:39:43 GMT
I noticed this during Covid, but it wasn’t just men. When we would go walking, alone or with our dog, and we were on the sidewalk, it never failed that WE were the ones that had to move over into the grass to pass. It was/is so annoying. People are just so self absorbed that they don’t think they should be the ones to take action.
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Post by librarylady on May 17, 2024 14:39:54 GMT
You could always get THIS and wear dark sunglasses so they don't know where you are looking. (hope the link works) 🤣🤣🤣 |
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Post by mollycoddle on May 17, 2024 15:36:12 GMT
I have noticed this with men and some teens. I just stop in my tracks and pretend to look at something-like a store window) or bend down to adjust my shoe. They move.
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Post by smasonnc on May 17, 2024 16:10:21 GMT
I noticed this during Covid, but it wasn’t just men. When we would go walking, alone or with our dog, and we were on the sidewalk, it never failed that WE were the ones that had to move over into the grass to pass. It was/is so annoying. People are just so self absorbed that they don’t think they should be the ones to take action. I just stop and look at them like “What are you doing? Do you not know how to walk?” |
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,586
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Post by pinklady on May 17, 2024 17:49:47 GMT
So what happens when both people are playing chicken? Are you both just going to stand there indefinitely? This is so weird.
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 198
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on May 17, 2024 18:21:30 GMT
So what happens when both people are playing chicken? Are you both just going to stand there indefinitely? This is so weird. I think they will just bump into each other and glare at the other person. While I get wanting to stand your ground, in the climate these days I don't think I'd be trying this. People are crazy out there. Especially men who think they are superior. If they feel it's okay to walk down the middle of the sidewalk and not move over for others, they probably wouldn't hesitate to be physical with you and bumping you really hard and saying you ran into them. If they knock you down, they'd be even more satisfied. |
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,766
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on May 17, 2024 18:47:26 GMT
You could always get THIS and wear dark sunglasses so they don't know where you are looking. (hope the link works) Funny you should say this. I did an NLP course a long time ago, and one of the things I learned was to walk tall and confident, and imagine that you had a big balloon around you and spikes sticking out of your elbows. Somehow people sense it and get out of your way. Even in Singapore, where people's personal space is smaller and there are a lot more people walking along, it worked. I tried the reverse; walking in a subservient way and imagining myself being small and defenceless, and to my astonishment, people walked into me again. It was the weirdest thing. I couldn't see how it could possibly work, but it did/does. |
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,656
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Post by valincal on May 17, 2024 19:17:07 GMT
You could always get THIS and wear dark sunglasses so they don't know where you are looking. (hope the link works) That is what I needed in Vegas a couple of years ago when a man deliberately shoulder checked me and just about knocked me off my feet. That was my big wake up call to pay more attention when I’m walking out and about! 😠 |
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Post by smasonnc on May 17, 2024 20:04:28 GMT
I did an NLP course a long time ago, and one of the things I learned was to walk tall and confident, and imagine that you had a big balloon around you and spikes sticking out of your elbows. Somehow people sense it and get out of your way. Works 99% of the time. I think they will just bump into each other and glare at the other person. While I get wanting to stand your ground, in the climate these days I don't think I'd be trying this. People are crazy out there. Especially men who think they are superior. If they feel it's okay to walk down the middle of the sidewalk and not move over for others, they probably wouldn't hesitate to be physical with you and bumping you really hard and saying you ran into them. If they knock you down, they'd be even more satisfied. Been doing it for years in many different places. This NEVER happens. Nobody wants to engage with someone they think will give them trouble. If you walk with a purposeful, not arrogant, air and stay to one side, the right in America, people just move. You don't have to be an @$$hole about it, but you don't have to be a wimp, either. In the unlikely event that a man knocked you down, you would naturally berate him for roughing up a woman. Big man. |
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mich5481
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,632
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Post by mich5481 on May 17, 2024 21:02:22 GMT
You could always get THIS and wear dark sunglasses so they don't know where you are looking. (hope the link works) Funny you should say this. I did an NLP course a long time ago, and one of the things I learned was to walk tall and confident, and imagine that you had a big balloon around you and spikes sticking out of your elbows. Somehow people sense it and get out of your way. Even in Singapore, where people's personal space is smaller and there are a lot more people walking along, it worked. I tried the reverse; walking in a subservient way and imagining myself being small and defenceless, and to my astonishment, people walked into me again. It was the weirdest thing. I couldn't see how it could possibly work, but it did/does. I think it gives off a don't mess me with aura. I've never been one to back down, so I don't typically move over. Then again, I also give off unapproachable vibes to men. 🤷♀️ |
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Post by Zee on May 17, 2024 21:04:26 GMT
I almost NEVER have a man not step aside here in the south, though I could see that being a thing on the East Coast sometimes. Men were far more aggressive as a whole in PA. Different cultures for sure. I met many pleasant men in PA BUT my interactions with men were vastly different overall between PA and GA. That doesn't mean they feel any different about women, but overall they definitely ACT different.
In the Midwest we would probably both step aside and never pass each other, instead arguing over who goes first and discussing the possibility of rain and how happy or unhappy the farmers will be. 🤣
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Post by Tearisci on May 17, 2024 21:12:35 GMT
This is so not even on my radar that I am trying to think of a scenario where I've even noticed that I moved first. Can't think of any time, but I'm pretty non-confrontational so moving to me isn't a big deal. I probably just do it automatically.
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Post by 950nancy on May 17, 2024 22:05:01 GMT
I almost NEVER have a man not step aside here in the south, though I could see that being a thing on the East Coast sometimes. Men were far more aggressive as a whole in PA. Different cultures for sure. I met many pleasant men in PA BUT my interactions with men were vastly different overall between PA and GA. That doesn't mean they feel any different about women, but overall they definitely ACT different. In the Midwest we would probably both step aside and never pass each other, instead arguing over who goes first and discussing the possibility of rain and how happy or unhappy the farmers will be. 🤣 I was going to say the same thing in the west. Men almost always move over, but I make sure to do the same thing as well. Born and raised in the midwest and other than a few arrogant fathers of kids I taught, most men have been pretty polite. |
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Post by peasapie on May 17, 2024 22:16:18 GMT
Having lived in Manhattan for years, this was a daily occurrence for me. If I didn’t move out of the way they would bang into me. And with umbrellas? Even worse. I just told my husband this and he said he had the same experience with women walking into him. Weird.
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