Deleted
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Jun 10, 2024 8:58:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2014 23:10:37 GMT
NO.
A big fat no.
We invited him to Thanksgiving and he said no also.
Everyone keeps saying he will realize how important family is and will come back but I'm starting to think he won't. How could you not miss your family during the holidays and want to be with them? I just don't get it.
It's been 7 months and I was hoping Christmas would be the turning point but I guess I am wrong.
I'm so upset right now.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,773 
Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Dec 22, 2014 23:13:18 GMT
I'm so sorry.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Dec 22, 2014 23:14:41 GMT
I'm sorry. He's young, give him time.
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Post by scrapbookwriter on Dec 22, 2014 23:15:07 GMT
I'm so sorry. I think it's a process. He will follow his own schedule. And even when things get better for awhile, he will backslide. But things will get better.
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Post by christine58 on Dec 22, 2014 23:15:29 GMT
NO. A big fat no. We invited him to Thanksgiving and he said no also. Everyone keeps saying he will realize how important family is and will come back but I'm starting to think he won't. How could you not miss your family during the holidays and want to be with them? I just don't get it. It's been 7 months and I was hoping Christmas would be the turning point but I guess I am wrong. I'm so upset right now. I am just heartbroken for you....has he had any contact with you and/or his brother?? It might take him a long time to realize that you are his family. I remember the essay he wrote----I wish I had an answer for you. Be good to yourself, you did the best for him....he just doesn't see it...hoping that some day he does. |
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Post by gar on Dec 22, 2014 23:16:56 GMT
I'm sorry but don't lose hope......It's still early days although I know it won't feel like that to you. Hang in there.
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Post by bearmom on Dec 22, 2014 23:17:27 GMT
Sorry
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Dec 22, 2014 23:17:51 GMT
I am so, so sorry. I was hoping that things were at least a little better at this point.
I have to believe that he will have a change of perspective sooner than later. I just have to.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 10, 2024 8:58:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2014 23:18:06 GMT
Sometimes it takes longer.
Was the invitation just for him alone or did it include his girlfriend?
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Deleted
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Jun 10, 2024 8:58:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2014 23:18:29 GMT
I'm so sorry. I think of you and your son often and always pray that things are better and your next happy update is just around the corner.
I'm sorry that you won't be together for Christmas.
Did you ever find out if the coffee gifts were from him?
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Post by ~Sherri~ on Dec 22, 2014 23:18:59 GMT
I am so sorry!! And I understand the hurt you are feeling. Our youngest DD, who is 19, decided to move out with her BF, after we had an argument. She has completely cut us out of her life and it is so heartbreaking. I feel like I am in mourning for the loss of my child.
I read your posts and am trying to follow the advice so many Refupeas have given. It is such a heartbreaking road to walk on. I feel certain our DD will not come for Christmas. I want to take back everything we got her but I won't. I will be wrapping it up and putting it under the tree. And will put it away til the day she decides to come home. These gifts were bought before all this and will be waiting for her, no matter how long it takes. I love her so much my heart hurts.
I hope and pray that your son will find it in is heart to visit for Christmas. If not, I pray that you will find the strength to make it through the day.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
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Post by mallie on Dec 22, 2014 23:19:00 GMT
I am so sorry. I'm sure you must be heartbroken.
At this point, it might be better for you to stop issuing invitations. He already knows you want him to visit. So If he wants to come, let him make the first move. And that way you don't get the pain of rejection. Plus sometimes, when we have to put an effort to get something, it makes it more desirable.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,766
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Post by scrapngranny on Dec 22, 2014 23:19:17 GMT
I'm so sorry. But like Kathy said, give him time. At this point it probably has more to do with admitting he acted like a fool than not wanting to be with you. He brought you the coffee, that was a baby step. He will take more steps, it might take him a while, but he will. Teens never like to admit they were wrong.
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Post by KikiPea on Dec 22, 2014 23:19:27 GMT
Oh, man. I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how much that stung.
Sometimes it takes years for someone to come around. I'm still praying for you that he will. Hugs to you!
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Dec 22, 2014 23:20:54 GMT
It's probably not what you want to hear, but, in time it gets easier.
Don't bother asking how I know.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Dec 22, 2014 23:32:10 GMT
Sorry..
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Post by laureljean on Dec 22, 2014 23:36:39 GMT
I am so sorry. You must be beyond hurt.
Continue to invite him to family celebrations. Someday he may accept, but that would be his choice. At least you will know you have done all you could.
((hugs)) I will keep you in my thoughts.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 10, 2024 8:58:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2014 23:38:24 GMT
Awww, I'm so sorry.
I agree with the rest of the Refupeas. He needs more time. Keep issuing invitations, with no expectation that he'll accept. Just let him know that he's welcome. Then one day when he comes to his senses, it will be a wonderful, unexpected surprise.
In the meantime, hugs to you. You're a great mama.
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Dec 22, 2014 23:39:58 GMT
I'm so sorry. Seven months feels like a lifetime, but it isn't enough time for you to give up hope. I could be wrong, but I think he's still in the honeymoon period of this whole thing. It's his first Christmas 'out on his own' and he still feels like he's making some sort of stand. Hang in there and try to enjoy your Christmas, especially for the sake of your younger son. Have faith that someday he will realize all he's missing and want to be part of your family again. I'm sure that will be the case.
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Deleted
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Jun 10, 2024 8:58:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2014 23:40:51 GMT
I'm sorry. That must really hurt. I had hoped things would have been better by now. Did he give you a reason why he wouldn't come?
Don't give up,it will take time and hopefully he'll realize that sooner rather than later.
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Post by lovemybabes on Dec 22, 2014 23:42:03 GMT
Oh, honey.  I am so sorry. I know I am echoing everyone else, but I am positive he is just young, and not making the best decisions. It will pass, and he will realize. You have done everything you can, and inviting him was wonderful. ((hugs)) I'm really sorry, I wish I was closer, I'd give you a big squeeze. |
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Deleted
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Jun 10, 2024 8:58:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2014 23:42:48 GMT
I'm so sorry. I hope he changes his mind.
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
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Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Dec 22, 2014 23:45:38 GMT
I'm sorry. |
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,742
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Post by purplebee on Dec 22, 2014 23:46:41 GMT
Yeah, as others have said, he's young- and immature. By saying no, he feels like he is controlling the situation. I have a 19 yo, and sometimes I think that whatever I ask or suggest, he is going to do the exact opposite just to prove he can. I feel for you.....but with prayers and patience, maturity will arrive in time. Don't give up, just let him know he is welcome, but try not to push too much (and gosh, is that ever hard!) Hugs.......
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Post by fkawitchypea on Dec 22, 2014 23:49:14 GMT
I'm so sorry. What a terrible heartbreaking way to treat your mother  |
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Post by peasapie on Dec 22, 2014 23:49:38 GMT
I'm sorry. Don't give up. Eventually, he'll mature enough to reach out.
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,887
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 22, 2014 23:52:54 GMT
I'm so sorry. I was thinking about your family yesterday, and was hoping we would get a good update soon. He needs more time. I hope he reconsiders your offer.
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Post by welshjenni on Dec 22, 2014 23:53:48 GMT
That must be beyond disappointing for you but I would still continue issuing invitations to him in the hope that one day he will feel that the time is right to say yes. I hope that you will not have to wait long for that to happen.
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 22, 2014 23:56:53 GMT
I'm so sad to see this post {{hugs}}.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on Dec 22, 2014 23:57:58 GMT
I'm sorry too that he isn't coming around. Seems like with the Starbucks that he was sending a signal that he needed you. Kids can be so frustrating. I hope you still have a nice holiday with your DH, other DS and dogs. (HUGS) I know it's hard.
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I am so sorry. I know I am echoing everyone else, but I am positive he is just young, and not making the best decisions. It will pass, and he will realize. You have done everything you can, and inviting him was wonderful. ((hugs)) I'm really sorry, I wish I was closer, I'd give you a big squeeze. 
