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Post by Fairlyoddparent on Dec 23, 2014 15:00:20 GMT
It would be extremely difficult for me to not buy a Christmas gift for my children, even if they were adults. I don't expect a gift in return although greatly appreciate the effort of a gift.
I think this is completely ludicrous:
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 6, 2024 11:59:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 15:12:50 GMT
I think it's ok to gift them, but not with a 'significant' gift. You're already doing what your daughter and her husband asked you not to do - but you're also doing it in grand fashion. I'd gift them smaller and save the extravagant gift for another time/reason. I think you risk upsetting your daughter, and especially your son-in-law. Seems like they're on a wonderful path, making good financial decisions, and a giftless holiday was what they requested.
I know this opinion doesn't fall in line with all the others and everyone else seems to think you can gift whomever, whenever you want. I disagree. Some people are sensitive to the gifting concept and if they actually speak up and make a request, I think it should be honored.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Dec 23, 2014 15:25:02 GMT
It would be extremely difficult for me to not buy a Christmas gift for my children, even if they were adults. I don't expect a gift in return although greatly appreciate the effort of a gift.
I think this is completely ludicrous:
Ludicrous? Maybe a bit, but I think it might have more to do with the fact it's done in a group setting. It's one thing when someone pops over to your house with an unexpected gift. I think it's a different thing to be made uncomfortable in front of others.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 23, 2014 15:59:44 GMT
In your position I would absolutely have bought my DD a gift, with the knowledge that I do not want anything in return. Exactly! I love being able to give my kids things and I do not expect a gift in return.
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Post by laureljean on Dec 23, 2014 23:50:02 GMT
Thanks again, everyone.
She requested no gifts after we made the purchase. I did tell her that we had already gotten them something, and did not expect anything in return. Christmas will be grandbaby's first visit to our home, so I think that is enough of a gift.
We got the barstools (she had commented that these are the ones she would love to have, but they were too pricey right now) and kitchen chairs. They are using my mom's old table and chairs, and while the table is still sturdy, the chairs are a mess. When you sit in any of them, they wobble and it feels like you're going to be on the floor soon.
I also made a scrapbook for the baby that they can just slide snapshots in. That one, I'm sure, they won't have a problem with.
So, we'll go forward, and tell them it's just stuff.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 6, 2024 11:59:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 23:54:08 GMT
its incredibly rude to deprive someone of the joy of giving gifts if they are so moved.
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Post by beanbuddymom on Dec 24, 2014 0:28:12 GMT
I think a compromise would be not giving them to them in front of everyone at Christmas and let them enjoy the day. A few days later you can give them to them without anyone being around, they will have them and there won't be public embarrassment.
I think that compromise really helps everyone to be honest. You are able to give them a gift and they aren't embarrassed.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Dec 24, 2014 2:57:07 GMT
We got them a pretty substantial (for us) gift anyway. Her rationale: She is off on maternity leave and they can't afford much this Christmas, so they can't reciprocate. My rationale: 1. A gift is not a transaction; it is given with no strings. ( I reminded her of that) 2. DH is retiring the end of January, and this is the last Christmas we will not be on a tight budget. I say, let's go all out this Christmas (we don't charge-- cash only, and right now, we can afford the extras). So what say the Refupeas: Am I being disrespectful? What we are getting them, they have been wanting for awhile, but haven't been able to purchase. We paid cash for it, and it has not been a burden to us. I guess this is a PVM. (I'm blushing) You've nailed it!
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Post by BeckyTech on Dec 24, 2014 15:11:19 GMT
We got the barstools (she had commented that these are the ones she would love to have, but they were too pricey right now) and kitchen chairs. They are using my mom's old table and chairs, and while the table is still sturdy, the chairs are a mess. When you sit in any of them, they wobble and it feels like you're going to be on the floor soon. I also made a scrapbook for the baby that they can just slide snapshots in. That one, I'm sure, they won't have a problem with. So, we'll go forward, and tell them it's just stuff. The chairs and barstools sounds more like a housewarming gift. Call it that and then call the scrapbook the Christmas gift.
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Post by Hayjaker on Dec 27, 2014 17:48:53 GMT
Update on this? How was the gift received?
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