cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,472 
Location: Fergus, Ontario
|
Post by cakediva on Jan 5, 2015 17:22:27 GMT
My oldest (19) has already decided marriage & babies are not for her. She's going to be the cool aunt who travels the world and brings back cool things for the nieces & nephews. She is going to be the crazy cat lady (and when I told her she was going to be one of those old people who dies and her cats eat her face? She said she was looking forward to it....silly girl) My middle DD (17) has a thing about twins. Identical twins freak her out. Especially when they are dressed the same so you can't tell them apart. No idea why, they just do. So we told her that since there are twins on both sides of her family, there is a possibility she may someday have her own set. LOL And that given the way she feels about twins, she would definitely have them (we are evil that way).  Jokingly, she's convinced she's going to have identical triplets, or be the next Octomom. So I promised that if she does have identical twins, her father and I will only buy them matching outfits, and when we have them we will dress them alike. (again, just evil we are) And DS is only 13, so girls are still "icky" for now. So yes, it is way to early to be worried about grandchildren - but I fear the path my children are all on means I will never get any.  ETA - this is totally in jest - although my oldest is pretty set on her plan (and we don't care either way, it is her life) - and of course that means the burden of caring for us when we are old can fall on her...ROFL |
|
PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,752
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
|
Post by PLurker on Jan 5, 2015 17:33:10 GMT
cakediva your and my DD could live together and be cool aunts and cat ladies together. She is 17 and has said pretty much the same thing. Weird thing is, she loves kids and kids flock to her. She said raising kids is too much work. Maybe she is right after living with her! 
|
|
Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea # 418
Posts: 4,218
|
Post by Peamac on Jan 5, 2015 17:34:29 GMT
My oldest used to say the same thing as your oldest. Fast forward a couple years, and she and her boyfriend have already discussed adopting children, so while she's still planning on being a fun aunt (my sister is one of those), the no kids thing has gone out the window. DD#2 though, will have plenty of kids for us to spoil, no doubt.
|
|
|
|
Post by jenb72 on Jan 5, 2015 17:36:43 GMT
I feared the same thing when my oldest told me maybe 5 or 6 years ago that she would never have kids. (She was 17 or 18 at the time - she's now 23.) My younger daughter (now 15) loves kids, but I don't know if she's really interested in having her own. She may be the cool aunt. And my son is 13 and only just now admitting that girls are pretty interesting. This past November, I became a grandma when my oldest had her first child - a boy. So there you go, lol. Don't give up hope! Jen |
|
|
|
Post by sisterbdsq on Jan 5, 2015 18:15:17 GMT
I chose to not have children at a very early age. I would have been really hurt if my mother or father pooh-poohed me and said I would change my mind or made fun of my life choice...because I was serious. If you think you're children aren't and you want to tease them, that's fine. Just know how much it hurts to be questioned about your choice and teased and ridiculed by people who should support you. I had to deal with that from other family members, but I'm pretty tough so I told them where to get off. Strangers would say stupid shit too. Like the guy who kept telling me how I was doing wrong by my husband (who didn't want kids either). But who cares about strangers? It was my family who mattered.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 10, 2024 8:46:46 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2015 18:24:50 GMT
At 19 none of my three planned on being parents either. They were going to travel etc. I now have SEVEN grandkids. The middle one hasn't started his family yet but plans to in a year or two.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 10, 2024 8:46:46 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2015 18:39:57 GMT
I never wanted kids, didn't like babysitting. have had 3 serious relationships and no children. I am 47 and am the youngest of 7 kids.
|
|
cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,472
Location: Fergus, Ontario
|
Post by cakediva on Jan 5, 2015 18:48:17 GMT
I chose to not have children at a very early age. I would have been really hurt if my mother or father pooh-poohed me and said I would change my mind or made fun of my life choice...because I was serious. If you think you're children aren't and you want to tease them, that's fine. Just know how much it hurts to be questioned about your choice and teased and ridiculed by people who should support you. I had to deal with that from other family members, but I'm pretty tough so I told them where to get off. Strangers would say stupid shit too. Like the guy who kept telling me how I was doing wrong by my husband (who didn't want kids either). But who cares about strangers? It was my family who mattered. Totally not pooh-poohing my oldest's choice - if she absolutely decides marriage & kids are not for her, then hey, good for her. Just because my lifelong ambition was to be a mom, doesn't mean it has to be for her. We're totally cool with it. And the cat thing? That was just a tease about her plan to be the crazy cat lady, all in good fun (which she totally gets).  But my middle DD is a whole different kettle of fish. Totally teasing her because she will be the one to have kids (she loves them) but the twin thing freaks her out, so we were just having a laugh over the holidays. |
|
scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,887
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
|
Post by scrappinmama on Jan 5, 2015 18:51:44 GMT
I worry that my sons won't have a family of their own. They are both on the autism spectrum, but are high functioning. If they don't marry and have children, I still want them to have meaningful relationships with people.
|
|
|
|
Post by padresfan619 on Jan 5, 2015 19:25:04 GMT
Yea I remember being anti baby when I was 19, too. Then I met a guy years later who made my heart sing. Now we are trying to have a baby and it isn't going very well.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sparki on Jan 5, 2015 19:36:38 GMT
Yep - there are seven of us siblings....there are only four grandchildren, and no indication of any more in the future. Out of the seven, two of us decided no kids for us, one of us is developmentally delayed and not capable of caring for a child, and one of us can't have children, though he and his wife would love them.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 10, 2024 8:46:46 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2015 19:58:31 GMT
My 14 yr old DS says he doesn't want kids and thinks babies are "not cute". I guess we'll see.
|
|
|
|
Post by gmcwife1 on Jan 5, 2015 20:05:23 GMT
cakediva your and my DD could live together and be cool aunts and cat ladies together. She is 17 and has said pretty much the same thing. Weird thing is, she loves kids and kids flock to her. She said raising kids is too much work. Maybe she is right after living with her! My 32 yr old ds was the same way. No children, he had his music and didn't have time for a family. FF to now, he's been dating someone a bit older then him for 5 yrs and has 5 stepchildren. They range in age from 15 to 25 and he has helped raise the two youngest. He also has 2 grandsons that ADORE him. Call him grandpa death (for his death metal music). Now my middle dd is 25 and hasn't shown any signs of having children and my 15 yr old dd knows she wants to go to college, travel and then settle down. Both of the girls are little kid magnets  |
|
|
|
Post by polz on Jan 5, 2015 20:05:38 GMT
I have a jokey life plan for DD. After university, she will get an amazing job and travel the world. She will marry 'The Millionaire' when she is 30. When she is 33 they will have the twins Jensen and Maxwell (NO NO NO Jessica Simpson. Maxwell is not a girl's name *&^%). Me and DH will move into their pool house so DD does not have to hire a nanny. The twins will call us Granddad and Nan. And we will all live happily ever after. Seems quite realistic doesn't it?  |
|
|
|
Post by gmcwife1 on Jan 5, 2015 20:13:11 GMT
I chose to not have children at a very early age. I would have been really hurt if my mother or father pooh-poohed me and said I would change my mind or made fun of my life choice...because I was serious. If you think you're children aren't and you want to tease them, that's fine. Just know how much it hurts to be questioned about your choice and teased and ridiculed by people who should support you. I had to deal with that from other family members, but I'm pretty tough so I told them where to get off. Strangers would say stupid shit too. Like the guy who kept telling me how I was doing wrong by my husband (who didn't want kids either). But who cares about strangers? It was my family who mattered. I read the OPs post as totally fun and in jest. BUT I do know what you mean and I'm sorry that people can be so dumb  My mom has been asking my little brother about grandkids for years now <sigh> And one of my friends has been pretty hard core on her dd for years about not having kids also I feel really bad for them. For me it's my kids choice to have kids, not my right and I should never make them feel guilty about their choices. I want them to do what's right for them and any children they may or may not have. |
|
|
|
Post by sisterbdsq on Jan 5, 2015 20:36:54 GMT
I have a jokey life plan for DD. After university, she will get an amazing job and travel the world. She will marry 'The Millionaire' when she is 30. When she is 33 they will have the twins Jensen and Maxwell (NO NO NO Jessica Simpson. Maxwell is not a girl's name *&^%). Me and DH will move into their pool house so DD does not have to hire a nanny. The twins will call us Granddad and Nan. And we will all live happily ever after. Seems quite realistic doesn't it? My cousin is in your country right now. Amazing job traveling the world! She's gay, so the decision hasn't been made public if she's interested in children or if she would want to be the one to bear them. Based on everything I know about her I'd say no and no, but you never know if she meets an amazing woman...
Anyone have a spare, gay, 30-something female relative who may or may not be interested in children?
|
|
|
|
Post by ntsf on Jan 5, 2015 20:40:25 GMT
I have three kids...all mid 20s and older. I expect only my son will have kids eventually...maybe one or two. whatever...their choice.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 10, 2024 8:46:46 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2015 20:47:46 GMT
I did not like babysitting, little kids or other people's kids. At all! Then I got married and had DS. Could I have done it all over again? No. Definitely not. One was enough. I would have loved to have given him a brother or sister but I know physically I couldn't do it.
I have friends and acquaintances who don't have children and knowing their personalities it is good they don't. Does that make them bad people? No, not at all. Just not parenting types. (They are child free by choice not infertility).
|
|
|
|
Post by polz on Jan 5, 2015 20:49:09 GMT
I have a jokey life plan for DD. After university, she will get an amazing job and travel the world. She will marry 'The Millionaire' when she is 30. When she is 33 they will have the twins Jensen and Maxwell (NO NO NO Jessica Simpson. Maxwell is not a girl's name *&^%). Me and DH will move into their pool house so DD does not have to hire a nanny. The twins will call us Granddad and Nan. And we will all live happily ever after. Seems quite realistic doesn't it? My cousin is in your country right now. Amazing job traveling the world! She's gay, so the decision hasn't been made public if she's interested in children or if she would want to be the one to bear them. Based on everything I know about her I'd say no and no, but you never know if she meets an amazing woman...
Anyone have a spare, gay, 30-something female relative who may or may not be interested in children?
I don't have a spare gay person, but it's legal for your cousin to get married here. This is the wedding of a girl I went to school with |
|
garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,734
Location: So. Calif.
|
Post by garcia5050 on Jan 5, 2015 20:55:12 GMT
At 19, I would have bet good money that I would never had had kids. Even asked my doctor about tying my tubes, and he refused (actually, he said he would require 6 months of intense therapy). One day when I was 32, I totally changed my mind - surprising myself, and my husband.
|
|
mjmone
Full Member
Posts: 441
Jul 3, 2014 2:58:29 GMT
|
Post by mjmone on Jan 5, 2015 22:15:12 GMT
As a teen that is how my ds felt. He knew he wanted to be a Marine and felt that was not a life that was good for raising children. But in the Corps he met his wife, that he 'could not help falling in love with" (though he fought it) and now at age 30 he is the father to 2 precious, wonderful, adorable perfect little girls. He is out of the Corps and a law enforcement officer.
We always thought dd was going to get married and have kids right out of high school. She did too. She and her husband married after she graduated college and then waited till now, she is 28, as they wanted to finish getting their Masters, to have baby #1...a boy, due in 3 months.
We also have twins 'due' in this generation...I'm still hopeful for those twin grandbabies.
So, you just never know.
|
|
4cboysmommy
Full Member
Posts: 213
Sept 13, 2014 1:19:39 GMT
|
Post by 4cboysmommy on Jan 5, 2015 22:18:46 GMT
I never wanted kids until I was engaged to my husband. Just wasn't something I was interested in. I thought I was going to be a career girl. Fourteen years and four boys later I've had to eat my words. My mom reminds me all the time that I was never going to have kids. Usually when mine are being a pain in the butt!
|
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Jan 5, 2015 22:36:57 GMT
You just never know.
My daughter, who in high school had no patience for kids, wasn't interesting in getting married and just wanted to sing and act ended up marrying at 23, and at 28 she has 3 kids (twins and a single). She loves being a mommy and a wife.
My son, who was dating steadily from 15 and who we thought would marry early, is 30 and has no desire to even be tied down to a steady girlfriend.
|
|
Grom Pea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,944
|
Post by Grom Pea on Jan 5, 2015 22:41:29 GMT
Maybe this will ease dd2's mind...fraternal twins are genetically inherited but identical twins are a random genetic anomaly. I was explained this by my boss who has identical twins and by rare coincidence there are identical twins in either his or his wife's family but he assured me it was random chance. So theoretically she's only more predisposed to twins if it runs in the maternal side (multiple egg release)
|
|
|
|
Post by Pahina722 on Jan 5, 2015 22:52:50 GMT
At 19 I KNEW I would never have children. At 35, I changed my mind and tried until it became obvious it wasn't going to happen. Resigned myself to being childless. When DH and I married when I was almost 41, we didn't think we wanted children until we did . . . And adopted DS at 45. Never say never.
|
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on Jan 5, 2015 22:55:05 GMT
cakediva your and my DD could live together and be cool aunts and cat ladies together. She is 17 and has said pretty much the same thing. Weird thing is, she loves kids and kids flock to her. She said raising kids is too much work. Maybe she is right after living with her! Is this a 'thing' for this generation? My DD (nearly 18 ) feels the same way. ( minus the face eating part ) I should be happy as I diligently taught her that women are complete people by themselves and nothing else ( ie significant other or marriage ) was required to be a complete person. I guess there's at least one thing she listened to me about. |
|
|
|
Post by maryland on Jan 5, 2015 22:55:27 GMT
At least your son may want kids someday! I feel the same with my three daughters (11, 15 and 17). The kids are our large high school don't seem to date! Even the popular kids. They all just text all the time and never go out. Except for Homecoming, it's a big deal! My 17 yr. old has no patience for little kids, especially girls! She says girls are wild and loud! I say Iknow, I have three girls!
|
|
cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,472
Location: Fergus, Ontario
|
Post by cakediva on Jan 6, 2015 0:02:01 GMT
cakediva your and my DD could live together and be cool aunts and cat ladies together. She is 17 and has said pretty much the same thing. Weird thing is, she loves kids and kids flock to her. She said raising kids is too much work. Maybe she is right after living with her! Is this a 'thing' for this generation? My DD (nearly 18 ) feels the same way. ( minus the face eating part ) I should be happy as I diligently taught her that women are complete people by themselves and nothing else ( ie significant other or marriage ) was required to be a complete person. I guess there's at least one thing she listened to me about. DH has repeatedly stressed this to all three kids. Focus on YOU first - get that degree/diploma/trade/career going and see yourself well. Then stress about a significant other. That of course,if it happens while you are focusing on you, yay! If it doesn't, don't worry. So whether they all stay single or all get married and have a dozen babies each, DH and I are cool with their choice. |
|
raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
|
Post by raindancer on Jan 6, 2015 0:21:27 GMT
My dh was not only never going to marry he was never going to have kids. He was adamant. He married me at 23. Our dd was born when he was 29. He loves it. He said he just needed the right person in his life at the right time. You might be surprised. My little sister swore off kids too. She has 3. |
|
tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
|
Post by tincin on Jan 6, 2015 0:26:51 GMT
No grandbabies for me, both of my DSs have said they are not interested in being fathers. I am disappointed that I will probably never be a grandmother but I made my choice and they will make theirs.
|
|
