Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 0:53:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2015 5:26:48 GMT
Yup....been living that nightmare for the last 7 months.
I hope things get better for you.
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my3freaks
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,206
Location: NH girl living in Colorado
Jun 26, 2014 4:10:56 GMT
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Post by my3freaks on Jan 17, 2015 6:54:57 GMT
Yes, I have and it sucks. I'm sorry!
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Post by atomicdog on Jan 17, 2015 13:20:30 GMT
Yes. Both my kids, who were super kids up till college age, have changed in major ways. Praying that DS is back on the right path - had hopes dashed several times and afraid to be too hopeful again. Now the DD is changing. DH and I are in basic agreement, but it weighs heavily on us.
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Post by ss on Jan 17, 2015 14:11:40 GMT
Yes and it was a very low point in our lives. I still pray each and every night that better choices are made in the future. I feel for you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 0:53:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2015 15:45:27 GMT
Not yet, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time.
I have a close friend who's going through a really rough time with one of her children, and I feel so badly for her.
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
Jun 27, 2014 19:58:15 GMT
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Post by mlana on Jan 17, 2015 18:37:15 GMT
I have.
My DS was going thru a rough patch and he took it out on his little sister. DH and I knew that he was bit an asshat, but I didn't realize how very abusive he had become until I overheard him say something so very inappropriate to her all I could think of was getting him away from her. DH didn't overhear what was said and, when I told him that it was the kind of thing that would make him look differently at DS for the rest of his life, DH asked me not to tell him. DH told me to handle it as I saw fit, given that I knew how bad it had gotten, but he wasn't as supportive as his words made it sound he would be.
I took steps to force DS to save his money and get his own place, which is what he wanted to do but was afraid to be on his own. I also restricted when she could be around DD. For a long time after, he blamed me for throwing him out (I didn't) and choosing his sister over him, which I did. She had as much right to grow up in the same safe home as he had grown up in. It was hard when he would start in on how I had ruined our relationship, broke the law (I made him sign his paychecks over to me and I banked them and gave him an allowance. When there was enough in the bank for an apartment, I made him move out.) and just turned my back on him. It was even harder when DH told me that he felt like I HAD done some of this - how dare he judge me while choosing to stick his head in the sand! GRRRR! I called them both on it and told them that the next time either of them spouted such crap, I was going to say aloud in front of both of them what DS had said. They both shut up, DS because he didn't want DH to know and DH because he didn't want to know.
It's been almost 10 years now and DS and I have a relationship again. He is closer to DH, but I'm ok with that; I am closer to DD than he. My DS has told me several times over the years that he is glad I did what I did, that I made him face his fear, and that I stood up for his little sister. He has acknowledged to DD that he said something very inappropriate and she has graciously forgiven him while telling him how it made her feel. I know I did the right thing, but it was so hard.
Marcy
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,630
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jan 17, 2015 18:46:09 GMT
Yeah, my dd#2 really struggled in high school and lied to me about something she handed in and I confronted the teacher and looked like a fool (she said she handed something in and didn't and I backed her up.)
I remember feeling like I wanted to puke at the time because I was so embarrassed.
The good news is this kid has been doing incredibly well in college - Dean's List, great internships. What a turnaround. I never, in a million years, would've predicted how well things would've turned out. Keep the faith.
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
Jun 26, 2014 18:51:17 GMT
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Post by perumbula on Jan 17, 2015 19:55:29 GMT
Yes. I had a child break my heart. That kid is doing so much better and I feel better about our relationship, but I'm not sure my trust can ever be fully back again.
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on Jan 17, 2015 22:42:47 GMT
you...my friends.... are not alone
it's been a very trying time in my household
i sympathize, and empathize, with each and every one of you
my mantra is... this, too, shall pass
if i don't have a nervous breakdown first!
gina
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Post by playingcinderella on Jan 17, 2015 23:14:10 GMT
I have not, with my own child. I am a teacher and one of the boys in my program really tugged on my heartstrings and was *like* a son to me once he graduated. He has made some very bad decisions and it breaks my heart . . . but I am not his mother. I cannot imagine the stress, disappointment, sadness and heartache that his parents have felt. As I read the comments on this thread, I pray that I never feel that utter despair and pray comfort and strength for each of you that is continuing to live your own personal nightmare.
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