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Post by missysauter on Feb 2, 2015 18:13:48 GMT
14 DS thinks that since it is his bedroom that he shouldn't have to make his bed if he doesn't want to (and apparently he sees no need for it).
I really don't go upstairs very often and his bedroom door is closed so the cats don't get in his room.
So, is bed making something you're willing to go to battle over or do you have the philosphy - his room, he can keep it how he wants?
I really don't have a strong opinion either way. I just envision my later in life daughter-in-law one day asking me - didn't he ever learn how to make the bed? LOL
ETA - I guess I should add that up until October when we redid his bedroom, he never actually slept under the sheets or comforter. His sister taught him to sleep on top of everything and just pull a blanket on top of you and then you never have to make your bed. We told him when we got him the new bedding, this was no longer an option. DD and DH and I all make our beds.
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Post by christine58 on Feb 2, 2015 18:16:02 GMT
14 DS thinks that since it is his bedroom that he shouldn't have to make his bed if he doesn't want to (and apparently he sees no need for it). I really don't go upstairs very often and his bedroom door is closed so the cats don't get in his room. So, is bed making something you're willing to go to battle over or do you have the philosphy - his room, he can keep it how he wants? I really don't have a strong opinion either way. I just envision my later in life daughter-in-law one day asking me - didn't he ever learn how to make the bed? LOL Not a hill I would die on...are the sheets always clean??? If they are clean, maybe tell him that the bed has to be made when there's company??
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
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Post by georgiapea on Feb 2, 2015 18:18:34 GMT
It only takes a moment to pull everything up and over the pillow. I'd put it into the 'My house, my rules' basket. When he has his own place he will get to choose. In the past have all the family members been required to make their beds?
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,717
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on Feb 2, 2015 18:21:13 GMT
I'm not the person to ask. I won't even make my own bed unless I'm changing the bedding. Just a waste of my time.
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Post by Zee on Feb 2, 2015 18:22:35 GMT
I don't care unless company is expected.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 2, 2015 18:23:30 GMT
Definetly NOT a hill I'd die on, or even wonder about. Not because it's "his room", but because there is WAY more stuff in life to worry about then my kid making his bed.
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,430
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
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Post by theshyone on Feb 2, 2015 18:24:28 GMT
14 DS thinks that since it is his bedroom that he shouldn't have to make his bed if he doesn't want to (and apparently he sees no need for it). I really don't go upstairs very often and his bedroom door is closed so the cats don't get in his room. So, is bed making something you're willing to go to battle over or do you have the philosphy - his room, he can keep it how he wants? I really don't have a strong opinion either way. I just envision my later in life daughter-in-law one day asking me - didn't he ever learn how to make the bed? LOL Seeing as my bed is only "made" when I change sheets it wouldn't bug me at all.
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Post by gar on Feb 2, 2015 18:24:38 GMT
Definitely not something I'd fight over. Airing the bed is good and then he'll be back in it so it sits in the same category as ironing tea towels imo He's got plenty of time to change his mind and decide for himself that he prefers the look of a made bed before he gets settles down with a partner.....these teens habits don't always last a lifetime. Ask me how I know
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 31, 2024 23:25:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2015 18:25:22 GMT
I don't understand the purpose of making a bed, so it's not something that's even close to being on my radar when it comes to dealing with my kids!
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Post by missysauter on Feb 2, 2015 18:26:08 GMT
It only takes a moment to pull everything up and over the pillow. I'd put it into the 'My house, my rules' basket. When he has his own place he will get to choose. In the past have all the family members been required to make their beds? DH and I always make our beds. DD knows that her bed needs to be made before she goes back to college. She's home every other or every third weekend.
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Post by anonrefugee on Feb 2, 2015 18:29:14 GMT
Definetly NOT a hill I'd die on, or even wonder about. Not because it's "his room", but because there is WAY more stuff in life to worry about then my kid making his bed. Haha, this is us. If I get to point of worrying about bed making I'll probably blow it off as a way to celebrate we are problem free!!!
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Post by maryland on Feb 2, 2015 18:35:06 GMT
I always use the "doing this for my future son-in-law trick"!
My daughters leave stuff all over the floor! Usually, about 15 items of clothing on the floor at all times. And I don't think they have ever made their beds!
I tell them that I am doing my future son-in-law a favor by teaching them to do these things! They mow the grass, and shovel, but they are slobs inside the house.
There are two boys interested in my 15 yr. old right now, and she tells me they are both neat freaks! I really wish she would date one of them, they could teach her how to clean her room and pick up her stuff.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,376
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Feb 2, 2015 18:36:24 GMT
I'm another that doesn't see the point of making a bed so it doesn't bother me in the least. I have to tear my bed apart to sleep in it as I roll myself up in the blankets and they have to be in a certain order etc. Making it and then tearing it apart again at night is IMO a total waste of time. So dd doesn't make hers and I'm totally fine with it. Now the mess that the rest of her room consists of is another matter altogether...
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Post by padresfan619 on Feb 2, 2015 18:38:41 GMT
As a teenager I never made my bed. And my room was a pig sty. Now I keep everything neat and I make my bed every day. I like to get into a neat and clean bed every night, so that's why I make it. I didn't start caring about the cleanliness of my living area until I lived on my own. That is when I started to feel pride for a clean and orderly space.
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scorpeao
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Posts: 4,521
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Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Feb 2, 2015 18:40:52 GMT
Not a battle I want to fight. My dd's room is a freaking DISASTER! I make her clean it when it gets out of hand with the garbage. She's such a slob. She leaves for the Navy in August and she's going to have a HUGE, I mean HUGE, wake up call. I just wish I could be there to see it
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Post by bc2ca on Feb 2, 2015 18:48:25 GMT
I like the beds made and it used to be part of the morning routine, but somehow they lost that skill as teens. I am way more interested in the rooms being dust free than having a tidy bed.
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Post by anxiousmom on Feb 2, 2015 18:48:30 GMT
Not a hill I would die on for sure.
But I am also not an uber disciplinarian mom, so take my advice as you will. My usual rules are as long as it doesn't stink, then it is up to you. I will remind the boy every so often to wash his sheets, but beyond that, I let him do his thing.
The way I see it (and I am saying this globally, not aimed at anyone specifically) is that there are a whole lot of big deal items that I want to be able to hold sway over, and if I micromanage all the little things then I lose credibility along the way. Well, maybe credibility isn't exactly the right word, maybe more like I want to be able to have times that my words and actions hold more weight. As the kids get older, choosing my battles seems more important to me than always being the rule maker. I am supposedly training the kid to make his own choices, so letting him have at least the appearance of control over the little things means that when I put my foot down, it carries more authority.
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amom23
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Member is Online
Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on Feb 2, 2015 18:49:29 GMT
Bed making isn't on my radar of things to get upset about.
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likescarrots
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Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on Feb 2, 2015 18:52:15 GMT
Neither my husband, nor I ever make the bed, so I can't imagine anyone would care about it. If your future daughter-in-law cares that it's made, she can always make the bed herself.
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Post by winogirl on Feb 2, 2015 18:52:27 GMT
I don't remember my mom making me make the bed. I did otherwise keep my room pretty clean though because I spent a lot of time in there and I didn't want to hang out in a messy room.
So, I'm another person that sees no point in making the bed. I only make it if I'm having company.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
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Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Feb 2, 2015 18:53:46 GMT
If he followed the more important rules, I'd let him decide on that one. Is their food in his room? (mold, dirt, pests) Are their clothes and junk all over the floor? (night time tripping hazards). Is his TV/computer/phone off by 10:30 p.m. (not enough rest for school). If he follows those rules, then go for it.
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
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Aug 16, 2014 17:52:53 GMT
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Post by likescarrots on Feb 2, 2015 18:55:15 GMT
I always use the "doing this for my future son-in-law trick"! My daughters leave stuff all over the floor! Usually, about 15 items of clothing on the floor at all times. And I don't think they have ever made their beds! I tell them that I am doing my future son-in-law a favor by teaching them to do these things! They mow the grass, and shovel, but they are slobs inside the house. There are two boys interested in my 15 yr. old right now, and she tells me they are both neat freaks! I really wish she would date one of them, they could teach her how to clean her room and pick up her stuff. I'm just going to point out that it's really gross to teach your daughters that they should do things to impress a man. They should do things because they want to do them, not because a man wants them to do them.
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Post by gar on Feb 2, 2015 18:55:32 GMT
Not a hill I would die on for sure. But I am also not an uber disciplinarian mom, so take my advice as you will. My usual rules are as long as it doesn't stink, then it is up to you. I will remind the boy every so often to wash his sheets, but beyond that, I let him do his thing. The way I see it (and I am saying this globally, not aimed at anyone specifically) is that there are a whole lot of big deal items that I want to be able to hold sway over, and if I micromanage all the little things then I lose credibility along the way. Well, maybe credibility isn't exactly the right word, maybe more like I want to be able to have times that my words and actions hold more weight. As the kids get older, choosing my battles seems more important to me than always being the rule maker. I am supposedly training the kid to make his own choices, so letting him have at least the appearance of control over the little things means that when I put my foot down, it carries more authority. I like your style
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Feb 2, 2015 19:10:31 GMT
Do the sheets get changed often? I wouldn't care how the bed looked but I would care if the sheets were changed semi-regularly (whatever that means to you). My DD15 doesn't make up her bed and I've never done it regularly on my bed. I have been pulling the covers up nice and neat lately, I guess that counts as making it. I say let him do what he wants with his bed.
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Post by pretzels on Feb 2, 2015 19:12:50 GMT
I don't battle the making-your-bed thing. I don't even make mine every day. Both of mine do have to clean their bedrooms once a week.
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Post by kmk1112 on Feb 2, 2015 19:17:33 GMT
I don't make my bed unless someone is coming to our house. DH works third so he gets in it soon after I leave in the morning, but even on days he's not going to sleep, it just seems like a total time waster to me.
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Deleted
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Oct 31, 2024 23:25:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2015 19:21:31 GMT
This is a battle I don't fight. If he doesn't want to make his bed then oh well...I don't say anything. On Saturday he does have to clean his room and at that point I have him make his bed just to make sure there isn't anything (like socks or food) in there.
Now I do fight the battle on wet towels on the floor and food in the room. Those two are no-gos in my house.
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Feb 2, 2015 19:23:55 GMT
14 DS thinks that since it is his bedroom that he shouldn't have to make his bed if he doesn't want to (and apparently he sees no need for it). Well...using the same line of logic, since it's your refrigerator, you shouldn't have to stock it.
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Post by mellowyellow on Feb 2, 2015 19:26:03 GMT
When I was a teenager, my dad had the philosophy of "my house, my rules" and he went overboard with it so much that if I didn't fold my clothes "his way" that all of the contents of my dresser would get dumped out on the floor by him and I would have to redo it. I swore that I would never be like that with my kids.
My DS is a slob! Total slob! Drives me bananas and unless it just gets wayyy out of hand....I say nothing. Usually it's DH that ends up saying something. His room is in the back of the house and I very rarely even go back there. He knows how to make his bed and wash clothes, bedding, etc but it's not something I'm willing to get into an argument with him about. I feel that's his room so I respect that. He leaves for the Navy in May and it makes me giggle somewhat to know that he will soon learn the "hard way". Ha ha!
So to answer your question....no, I wouldn't make him make his bed.
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Post by gar on Feb 2, 2015 19:26:55 GMT
14 DS thinks that since it is his bedroom that he shouldn't have to make his bed if he doesn't want to (and apparently he sees no need for it). Well...using the same line of logic, since it's your refrigerator, you shouldn't have to stock it. But that would affect her too (and the rest of the family) but DS not making his bed doesn't affect anyone.
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