silverdaisy
Junior Member
Posts: 62 
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Post by silverdaisy on Mar 11, 2015 15:21:22 GMT
If your spouse has adhd how do you deal with them? At times I feel like I have another kid instead of a spouse.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Mar 11, 2015 15:24:31 GMT
When you figure it out would you let my husband know, please? (says the wife who is terribly behind in her business but peaing instead of working)
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Mar 11, 2015 17:26:30 GMT
I insisted he get medicated. Seriously has changed our lives.
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Post by janniepea on Mar 11, 2015 17:38:20 GMT
My 24 year old son has ADD and it's been such a challenge. He's married and has two little boys and is going through counseling now to how to deal with the impulsive choices he makes. He took meds in high school and I wish he would continue to do so, made such a difference.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Mar 11, 2015 21:59:18 GMT
I swear my BFF has ADD, and it drives her family and friends nuts! We all put up with her erratic behavior because she really does have a heart of gold, she's fun to be around and we love her, but it is so frustrating. She can be so disorganized, unreliable and at times scatterbrained that all of us have suggested that she should look into doing something about it and her response is, "This is just how I am and you'll just have to deal with it."  |
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
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Post by mallie on Mar 11, 2015 22:51:11 GMT
Where we used to live, I had a good friend who had adult ADHD. On meds, she was wonderful. Off meds, she drove me BSC in less than 15 minutes. Over time, I refused to do stuff with her unless she took her meds -- you could tell within a minute if she wasn't on her meds. (She often forgot to take them and for the life of me, I've never understood why her dh didn't remind her. Then again, he was a total idiot. Anyway....) I cannot imagine being married to someone with her ADHD who wasn't on meds.
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Post by SabrinaM on Mar 11, 2015 23:49:17 GMT
Make an appt with a psychiatrist who specializes in ADD/ADHD and insist they go.
Meds-- insist they're taken
Therapy- to handle the baggage that comes with going their entire life unmedicated.
After doing the above and getting on the correct meds (it may take trying a few different meds to find the right one(s), chances are he'll start to feel like a new person and never want to go off of them.
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,714
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Mar 11, 2015 23:59:29 GMT
Make an appt with a psychiatrist who specializes in ADD/ADHD and insist they go. Meds-- insist they're taken Therapy- to handle the baggage that comes with going their entire life unmedicated. After doing the above and getting on the correct meds (it may take trying a few different meds to find the right one(s), chances are he'll start to feel like a new person and never want to go off of them.  And if it doesn't work and you try very long & hard, sometimes divorce is the only answer. After 32 years, I simply had enough. There were also many factors but honestly, I was tired of being a mom to a child I didn't give birth to, instead of being a wife. |
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Post by holly on Mar 12, 2015 0:14:43 GMT
I'm not sure I could deal with it. My DH's boss is ADD/ADHD, undiagnosed. He just flits from one thing to another, drives everyone crazy. We are really good friends with him and his wife and I don't know how she does it. We joke about it a lot but it would seriously annoy me if I had to live with him. He will never take meds, not that type of person.
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ingrid
Full Member
Posts: 490
Jun 26, 2014 0:52:41 GMT
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Post by ingrid on Mar 12, 2015 0:31:26 GMT
I'm the spouse with ADHD, so I just asked DH how he deals with it and he looked very confused before saying, "It's just...you. I don't really feel like I'm dealing with anything. " So, he's no help  |
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Post by SabrinaM on Mar 12, 2015 0:36:43 GMT
I'm the spouse with ADHD, so I just asked DH how he deals with it and he looked very confused before saying, "It's just...you. I don't really feel like I'm dealing with anything. " So, he's no help There are also varying degrees of ADD/ADHD as well as different comorbidities. That doesn't mean that the spouse who doesn't take issue with them is better at dealing with it than someone else. |
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Post by Flowergirl on Mar 12, 2015 0:45:49 GMT
The book, Driven to Distraction, has a chapter outlining ways for couples to handle ADD/ADHD Driven to Distraction |
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ingrid
Full Member
Posts: 490
Jun 26, 2014 0:52:41 GMT
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Post by ingrid on Mar 12, 2015 1:35:45 GMT
I'm the spouse with ADHD, so I just asked DH how he deals with it and he looked very confused before saying, "It's just...you. I don't really feel like I'm dealing with anything. " So, he's no help There are also varying degrees of ADD/ADHD as well as different comorbidities. That doesn't mean that the spouse who doesn't take issue with them is better at dealing with it than someone else. I'm not trying to imply that my husband is some kind of ADHD-whisperer. |
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And if it doesn't work and you try very long & hard, sometimes divorce is the only answer. After 32 years, I simply had enough. There were also many factors but honestly, I was tired of being a mom to a child I didn't give birth to, instead of being a wife.
