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Post by laureljean on Mar 17, 2015 1:41:24 GMT
When you were beginning therapy, did you tell yourself you were just fine and really didn't need it? Were you overwhelmed with what you were discovering about yourself?
I've had a few sessions and all I want to do is quit. On one hand I feel it's too much and on the other hand I'm telling myself I am just fine and I made a mistake, and I don't need to continue. Is this normal?
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Post by Linda on Mar 17, 2015 1:58:26 GMT
sounds very normal to me
((((Hugs)))) and prayers
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by blue tulip on Mar 17, 2015 2:12:23 GMT
therapy can be really scary! the more you find out about yourself, the more you have to deal with. lots of buried things come to the surface. it sounds like what you're feeling is normal, I felt that way too when I started. I went for about 6 months and then felt like I could handle it from there, and I haven't been back.
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Post by Dixie Lou on Mar 17, 2015 2:12:46 GMT
It's taken me years to realize I need some help.
What you're feeling is normal.
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chamadog
Junior Member
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Post by chamadog on Mar 17, 2015 2:41:10 GMT
Yep.
I had been in therapy a few times before and always quit when it got uncomfortable. I just wasn't ready. I can't tell you what a relief it was when my latest therapist told me it was supposed to be uncomfortable - really uncomfortable - before things got better. I was ready to quit, she was right and you're okay with what you're feeling. Unless there's something really extreme happening, this is when you have to sort of lean into it and go with it. Or, if you're not ready to go there, then it's time to get out.
What I realized was that I went for help, not to be comfortable, and that if I was ready to do the work this was what came with it. It does get better if you can stick it out, but in my opinion, you've got to be ready to do that - and want to do that - or it just isn't productive. After about a year of therapy, I came out on the other side with what I wanted. But it took a lot of starts and stops to get there.
This is all how it worked for me. I am by no means an expert.
Best of luck!
Ann
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Deleted
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May 6, 2024 18:12:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 4:17:07 GMT
Yep, lots of uncomfortable and hard moments. Things worth doing are rarely easy, though. Honestly, that's part of the point, I think.
Be kind to yourself (eg. don't be mentally judgey about your own stuff), and you already know what you need to do (re; quit therapy or not). (Frankly - I hate that saying when what I know I need to do is NOT what I WANT to do!) LOL
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Deleted
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May 6, 2024 18:12:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 5:12:07 GMT
Therapy is scary chit! You have to be brave, and sit your you know what down and make yourself do it. I am starting again tomorrow. I was supposed to start today but I couldn't see to drive safely as i was way too tired. Please don't quit or give up on inner peace. If your therapist isn't the right one then you may need to find another one. I hope you like her, though. It's hard being brave and looking deep in your soul. I am not going to say it's a day at the beach with mai tais and stuff. It's scary! But think of the inner peace to come!
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Deleted
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May 6, 2024 18:12:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 5:16:34 GMT
It's normal unfortunately. I am in therapy right now and this is the first time a therapist has really been able to break my walls down. It freaks me out to be honest. I am working hard to heal from a long history of abuse and so many times I want to quit. But I have tried going over the pain, under the pain and around the pain, it doesn't work. We can only heal going through it. Give it a little more time and give yourself A LOT of grace in the process. I know the process is tough. I reward myself after every session because it is tough to go through. I know it may sound silly but it has helped me. My therapist also set some goals specific to therapy and that has helped me too. I have learned some more coping mechanisms and healthier ways to deal with things. The gains HAVE been worth it to me. But it is a tough process for sure. Big hugs!
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Deleted
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May 6, 2024 18:12:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 6:54:17 GMT
When you were beginning therapy, did you tell yourself you were just fine and really didn't need it? Were you overwhelmed with what you were discovering about yourself? I've had a few sessions and all I want to do is quit. On one hand I feel it's too much and on the other hand I'm telling myself I am just fine and I made a mistake, and I don't need to continue. Is this normal? Yes, it is normal. Keep in mind something in your life isn't working or you wouldn't have started in the first place. That 'something isn't working" means you aren't really "just fine" It was interesting to me that the homeless I worked with all thought they were just fine (which was why they wouldn't stay on meds) It was everyone else that needed to be fixed to accommodate them. The tendency is to want to fix someone else in our life. But the reality is the only one we can fix is ourselves. And the only way we can fix ourselves is an honest appraisal of who we are, how we think, how we act/react and how we are an integral part of the ongoing problem. None of us wants to face being part of the problem (easier to blame someone else.) Therapy is HARD. HARD HARD. But if you want to fix whatever is going wrong that caused you to seek therapy in the first place you'll have to work at it with the therapist. Be honest, be open to hear, work at the exercises given. If you are honest with your therapist they can help you see the full problem, see your part, and learn ways to extricate yourself from perpetuation the problem in the future. If you want to continue on with whatever the something is that sent you to therapy, and have that tension never resolved and possibly grow/spread into other areas then by all means stop going. After all, you are fine. |
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Post by gillyp on Mar 17, 2015 7:19:50 GMT
The tendency is to want to fix someone else in our life. But the reality is the only one we can fix is ourselves. And the only way we can fix ourselves is an honest appraisal of who we are, how we think, how we act/react and how we are an integral part of the ongoing problem. None of us wants to face being part of the problem (easier to blame someone else.) Such a simple statement which has hit me like a thunderbolt. Thank you. |
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Post by mrsscrapdiva on Mar 17, 2015 13:51:35 GMT
Yes, it is hard sometimes. I found it was nice to be able to talk to someone openly and just let it out. There were times that she told me stuff I didn't like and it made me uncomfortable or mad, but it is truth from an outside, educated, experienced therapist. I went for three years straight. I am by no means "cured" but in a much better place than I was before.
I found taking notes or writing down important break thrus is very helpful to look back on. You need time to process what is discovered.
ETA: It took me over 6 months or longer to even make the appointment. I just couldn't do it because it is admitting I had an problem.
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,139
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Post by scrappington on Mar 17, 2015 15:32:02 GMT
are you comfortable with your therapist.
cause that might be your problem as well.
I saw a therapist when my husband expectantly died. I was 31. I had no idea what to do.
I was scared I would go crazy.
I went there for a few sessions. I asked her am I crazy she said no. She gave me the tools I needed to get thru the grieving process.
And I was ok.
If your not getting anywhere or feeling any better than maybe you don't need it or maybe you aren't ready.
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Deleted
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May 6, 2024 18:12:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 17:23:03 GMT
Very normal!! Stick with it. If this therapist isn't right feel free to try someone else. It is very important to work with someone you are comfortable with and who is giving you clear guidance and steps to work on. Or at least that's what I've experienced.
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Post by laureljean on Mar 17, 2015 23:17:28 GMT
Thanks for the replies (and the encouragement and hugs), everyone. Yesterday was a tough day, but today is better.
I like my therapist very much. It seems to be a good fit. I think it is just that, being at the beginning of the process, I'm realizing the many things that are wrong, and thinking about it all at once got a bit overwhelming. I've only seen a few tiny gains so far, but I think that if I stick with it, more will come. One day at a time, as they say.
Again, thanks for hearing me and being supportive.
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,879
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Post by likescarrots on Mar 17, 2015 23:46:36 GMT
I didn't really think I needed it, but my mom thought I did, so I went. She was right, I was on the verge of packing up my life and taking off for nowhere, and I had 3 months until graduating college (I graduated with honors so grades weren't the problem). Looking back, I know what my issues were, but I had a crappy therapist who didn't see the things that were impacting my mental health. I don't think these major discoveries were realized for quite a while after I went to therapy, and on my own, but when they were realized it was not particularly a surprise.
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