|
Post by chrissypie on Apr 17, 2015 22:26:41 GMT
So sorry to hear the sad stories of loss and longing. It's also lovely to hear other people's interesting stories.
My immediate answer is " When you know, you know". That's how it was for me, anyway. In my early 20s, when all my friends started having babies, I just knew I wouldn't be a good mother, and had no desire.
By my late 20s, I felt I was ready to be a "good" mother, AND felt like I wanted a baby. So I was ready.
I knew DH was ready when I sent him to buy frozen peas and he deliberately chose frozen BABY peas. We've joked about it ever since, especially when deciding to have our second and third.
I think being emotionally ready is more important than being financially ready (within reason, of course), because kids are for LIFE - finances can change. We didn't own a home when we started, and lived in a tiny apartment, and we were fine.
I also think it's vital that both partners are on board, because it really does change your life completely. Also helps if you have a strong relationship and aren't having kids to "save the marriage" (it generally won't!).
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 17, 2015 22:55:17 GMT
Now that you're almost done with that though, are you going to be stuck with a boatload of student loans to repay? If so, that alone might be a good enough reason to delay starting your family just a little longer. I would personally be uncomfortable taking on the financial challenges of a new baby if I was already saddled with a lot of debt, knowing that I would want to take at least a little time off of work to be home with my little one at first and probably not getting paid. Thank you, it was hard work so I'm very proud of myself for making it through to the end. DH and I are very fortunate to both have gotten through our eduction with no student loans. We worked our buns off and got very lucky with scholarships and stipends! Just a mortgage to deal with in our budget. That's not luck, that's brains and hard work in action. Kudos to you! It definitely makes a difference to get out of school debt free vs. to get out with $$$K in loans to repay. Then it becomes more a matter of whether you want to start your career now and then take a break right away, or have your kid(s) and then start on your career track. I work from home and my kid is almost five now, and I can't believe how much being home with her has sidelined my work even at this point. I want/wanted to be home with her, and the older she gets the less I've been able to do. I'm hoping I can get back on track with my business once she's in full time kindergarten next fall, but preschool turned out to be a bust.
|
|
|
Post by finally~a~mama on Apr 18, 2015 1:17:09 GMT
DH & I married at 23 & 24. We'd been together for 5 years at that point. Probably about 1 1/2 yrs to 2 yrs later HE had the baby fever. I did not. At all. I was 27 when it hit. Like a ton of bricks completely out of the blue. All I could think about was babies. We waited a year to start trying (bought a house). Then 3 years, 3 doctors, 3 rounds of meds and a surgery later we finally conceived.
It was a rough pregnancy (pretty much every pregnancy symptom you've heard of) with pre-term labor, bed rest and a c-section then she was a colicky, high needs baby. I told DH I was never doing that again. I felt complete. Then when she was 11 months old I had one of those dreams that feel super real. I dreamed that she had a twin sister and it was their first birthday. The twin sister looked kind of like her, but was a little smaller and much more easy going. I didn't remember having two babies, but obviously we had taken care of her because there she was. I didn't know her name and I felt horrible. I kept waiting for someone to say her name. It was sooo real feeling. I woke up and was again consumed with baby fever.
We waited another year (health & work issues) then started trying. Eight months & another 3 rounds of meds we were pregnant again. Sadly it ended in miscarriage. We tried again (did 2 or 3 more rounds of meds) and conceived our little one. She just turned 2 and my dream was surprisingly accurate. She does look similar to her sister, she is a little smaller than DD#1 was at the same age and she is more easy going! That pregnancy was also one of the bed rest variety. The journey (for us) is too hard for me to attempt again. We are so blessed to have our two.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 2:15:47 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2015 1:22:19 GMT
DH and I were married 7 years before we had kids. My DS was born 2 months before I turned 30. We waited because a) we wanted to have a house b) I wanted to finish my masters degree c) we wanted to go on a few vacations and have "us" time
After about 5 years, DH was ready and I wasn't. So we held off. Then I was ready and he wasn't. So we held off. When I knew that I was ready, I just knew. I didn't "waffle" back and forth any more. I brought it up to DH who said he knew he was ready too. We tried less than a month and that was that!
|
|
|
Post by travelsoul on Apr 18, 2015 3:02:27 GMT
Well, I didn't want kids in my 20's. I was way too immature, irresponsible and selfish. My husband and I have been together since we were 23, but for the same reasons that I didn't want kids, we didn't get married until we were 36. We started trying 6 months later and I was told at 37 that I waited too long and would not be able to have biological children. It took me years of pain, hope, frustration, and more money than I'll ever admit to get pregnant. I'm 7 months now and will be 40 when I deliver.
My advise to you is have your fertility checked if you want to wait a few years, but are concerned about time. There are blood test and ultrasounds that can give you a good idea of just how fast your biological clock is ticking.
Congrats on your law degree!!!
|
|
|
Post by ceepea on Apr 18, 2015 3:58:12 GMT
We were married at 22 and lived in an apartment for the first 2 years. Then we moved and had our house built. I had my first son just before I turned 25. It just seemed like the right time, I had the *baby's* room picked out when we decided on a home. I had my 2nd son at 29.
|
|
|
Post by momof3pits on Apr 18, 2015 4:21:17 GMT
I've had baby fever all my life it feels like! DH wanted to be more financially stable. We had a preg scare back in Feb of 2014 and he realized he was ready. We decided to try that August. Got pregnant that cycle and I'm now 38 weeks and ready to go!!
|
|
|
Post by SabrinaM on Apr 18, 2015 5:31:23 GMT
We knew it was time when we had enough $ saved to afford forme to stay home.
We wanted to start a family long before we were financially ready.
|
|