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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 20:19:49 GMT
I have another thread on here about my 15 1/2 DS wanting to take his PS3 with him to visit his friend out of state.
I know I'm not the only one that has teens on this board. What is the funniest thing you or DH has told your teen in the heat of a back and forth discussion (ok, argument) that stopped your teen in their tracks.
DS was telling us that we worry too much about him, especially Mom, she asks too many questions. (he is the only child)
My DH tells him, "We just want to make sure that the heir to our fortune is being safe and taken care of".
HA HA....DS stopped and laughed out loud. Fortune - yeah right!
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psiluvu
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,217 
Location: Canada's Capital
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Post by psiluvu on Jul 11, 2014 20:40:53 GMT
That is hilarious I am definitely stealing it to use with my kids. I've got nothing off the top of my head right now, but tfs
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,738
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Post by purplebee on Jul 11, 2014 20:47:04 GMT
Can't think of anything-I've also got an only ds who is 19. Um, yeah, there has been some, uh, "back and forth" in this house! Nice to hear about something that would render a 15 yo speechless, and funny too!
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BarbaraUK
Drama Llama
Surrounded by my yarn stash on the NE coast of England...............!! Refupea 1702
Posts: 5,961
Location: England UK
Jun 27, 2014 12:47:11 GMT
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Post by BarbaraUK on Jul 11, 2014 20:47:34 GMT
I have another thread on here about my 15 1/2 DS wanting to take his PS3 with him to visit his friend out of state. I know I'm not the only one that has teens on this board. What is the funniest thing you or DH has told your teen in the heat of a back and forth discussion (ok, argument) that stopped your teen in their tracks. DS was telling us that we worry too much about him, especially Mom, she asks too many questions. (he is the only child) My DH tells him, "We just want to make sure that the heir to our fortune is being safe and taken care of". HA HA....DS stopped and laughed out loud. Fortune - yeah right! Love this!!  |
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Post by leannec on Jul 11, 2014 20:59:05 GMT
Nothing super funny but dh's nickname for dd#1, age 15, is "girf" ... when she finally surfaces from her basement bedroom we hear: "Heeeeey, Girf!!!!"  |
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Post by Pahina722 on Jul 11, 2014 21:03:52 GMT
Just to mess with DS's head . . . he is at the stage where the idea of his parents having sex freaks him out and has frequently announced that we are only allowed to do so when he is "miles away." So, sometimes when he is yelling across the house for one of us, we'll yell back, "You're miles away, G, miles away." Then, we hear stomping and mutters of "Creepy old people."
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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 21:09:55 GMT
Just to mess with DS's head . . . he is at the stage where the idea of his parents having sex freaks him out and has frequently announced that we are only allowed to do so when he is "miles away." So, sometimes when he is yelling across the house for one of us, we'll yell back, "You're miles away, G, miles away." Then, we hear stomping and mutters of "Creepy old people." HA! Love it! Yes, messing with their emotionally immature heads is always good to keep them in check!  |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on Jul 11, 2014 21:12:26 GMT
Not in the heat of the moment but just last night I said a funny to 17 yo DD...she bought a garment rack at Wal-mart yesterday and assembled it herself and put her clothes on it in her room. I walked by and said "I like your rack." Not exactly the best choice of words but it got her to laugh which is sometimes a miracle at this age.
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Post by keknj on Jul 11, 2014 21:13:33 GMT
Just to mess with DS's head . . . he is at the stage where the idea of his parents having sex freaks him out and has frequently announced that we are only allowed to do so when he is "miles away." So, sometimes when he is yelling across the house for one of us, we'll yell back, "You're miles away, G, miles away." Then, we hear stomping and mutters of "Creepy old people."
OMGoodness, that is hilarious!! |
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,958
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Jul 11, 2014 21:16:22 GMT
I like the "miles away". My ds (16) does not like to talk about sex with us. Of course, that just eggs us on. Poor boy!
Lisa D.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 4:39:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2014 21:20:32 GMT
Just to mess with DS's head . . . he is at the stage where the idea of his parents having sex freaks him out and has frequently announced that we are only allowed to do so when he is "miles away." So, sometimes when he is yelling across the house for one of us, we'll yell back, "You're miles away, G, miles away." Then, we hear stomping and mutters of "Creepy old people." That's hilarous! |
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Post by anxiousmom on Jul 11, 2014 21:21:15 GMT
I find that a lot of what I say makes my children roll their eyes and mutter under their breath. I tell them that I am giving them something to bond over so that when they are my age they will be able to say "remember that time that mom..." and get a good laugh out of it.  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 4:39:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2014 21:37:16 GMT
When our kids were little and me and the dh needed some "alone time" we would pop in Barney or whatever and tell the kids that we were going in our room to talk about Christmas presents, and because they were terrified of not getting anything for Christmas they would make sure not to go anywhere near our room.
Once they were teens we let them in on the secret, much to their dismay! So now when the 20 year old is home and being a real terd we tell him we are going to talk about Christmas present and he promptly shuts up. lol
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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 21:58:57 GMT
When our kids were little and me and the dh needed some "alone time" we would pop in Barney or whatever and tell the kids that we were going in our room to talk about Christmas presents, and because they were terrified of not getting anything for Christmas they would make sure not to go anywhere near our room. Once they were teens we let them in on the secret, much to their dismay! So now when the 20 year old is home and being a real terd we tell him we are going to talk about Christmas present and he promptly shuts up. lol HA! That is great! |
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Post by Pahina722 on Jul 11, 2014 22:07:31 GMT
Do the rest of y'all have teens that are uncomfortable with displays of affection between you and your DH? In addition to the "miles away" thing with DS, he is constantly threatening to hose us down when he sees us hugging or kissing and frequently suggests that we should "get a room." He doesn't know what to say when we retort that the whole house is our room! He will quickly admit, though, that he's very happy that we love each other (many of his friends have divorced parents): "You are NOT allowed to divorce EVER!" (stated dramatically with huge frown on his face)
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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 22:12:50 GMT
Do the rest of y'all have teens that are uncomfortable with displays of affection between you and your DH? In addition to the "miles away" thing with DS, he is constantly threatening to hose us down when he sees us hugging or kissing and frequently suggests that we should "get a room." He doesn't know what to say when we retort that the whole house is our room! He will quickly admit, though, that he's very happy that we love each other (many of his friends have divorced parents): "You are NOT allowed to divorce EVER!" (stated dramatically with huge frown on his face) He is sweet and yes, any kind of PDA freaks my DS out. |
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Jul 11, 2014 22:19:01 GMT
All talk of sex is taboo around here. Any time I want to freak either of them out, all I have to do is say the word. I especially love using words that have that word in it - Essex County, etc. And while they're as aware of the female form as the next male, they don't like the word breast either. I love telling them we're having chicken breast for dinner.  They also seem especially freaked out by my bras. A great way to send them screaming (literally) from the room is for me to have one in my hand. One time when I went away for the weekend, I left one in their drawer. I don't think they've recovered yet. And don't even get me started on their reaction if they realize I don't have one on . . . While it may not stop him dead in his tracks, one way to end the I'm-18-and-I'm-an-adult-now argument w/my oldest is to tell him that the only thing being 18 entitles him to in this house is the right to move out. |
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AmyS
Full Member
Enrich your life through crochet. (tm)
Posts: 178
Location: North Alabama
Jun 26, 2014 3:16:46 GMT
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Post by AmyS on Jul 11, 2014 22:19:54 GMT
Yes, our kids are freaked out by even very innocent PDAs. It's very rare when we've all 4 gone to the store together anymore, but we love to hold hands for a little bit, just to gross them out. They can't even stand it when we give each other a quick peck on the cheek in passing. I love to torment them!
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sparkles
Shy Member
Refupea #1809
Posts: 19
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Post by sparkles on Jul 11, 2014 22:32:25 GMT
Great stories!
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Post by my2apps2 on Jul 11, 2014 23:09:20 GMT
Our 19 year old was taking forever to get out of the shower one day and we had somewhere to be. DH walks by the bathroom, bangs on the door and yells "ya know, if you switch hands you gain a stroke!"
I nearly died. DS got out of the shower pretty quickly and yelled to DH "Thanks for the pointers!".
Ugh. Boys are icky!
And just as an aside, none of the other kids were home. DH would never be that crass around the younger kids!
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 11, 2014 23:39:50 GMT
DH and I totally did that.
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Post by corinne11 on Jul 12, 2014 3:45:21 GMT
The teen that lives in our house is our 16 yr old grandson. We were trying to decide on a movie to watch together when one rated "high level sex scenes" came up. He said "that would be awkward watching that with you two' with the usual teenage boy smirk. "what, you don't think we've SEEN sex scenes before?" I replied. My husband was quicker - "And don't you think we've actually DONE them as well???"" That sent him screaming from the room big time!! By the way we are only early 50's so it's not like we are REALLY old!
Corinne |
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Post by AussieMeg on Jul 12, 2014 4:49:43 GMT
Yep! Sometimes we will get all smoochy in front of 16yo DD and she will say "Ooooh yuk, you are so gross!" Of course that just makes us ramp it up a bit to really gross her out!
Similar to that, one time DD asked me if I had read 50 shades of Grey. I told her I had no need to read it as DSO and I could act out our own version! She was beyond grossed out!
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Post by OntarioScrapper on Jul 14, 2014 0:45:34 GMT
My 14 year old son thinks he what has to do is way more important than chores.
So conversations have gone on like this:
Me "Son, you need to start your laundry"
Son (who is just sitting there playing on his tablet) "I have stuff to do."
Me "Now"
Son "Just wait. I have one thing to do"
Me "Now"
Son "It won't take long" as he gets up to leave.
Me (knowing better) "Computer"
Son "Okay! I'll do it right now!"
Computer means, Mom knows where the power cord comes out of the computer and she will take that power cord and sit on it if she has to. I only had to explain that once so now just use "Computer". And I like to string him along to see how long he will whine before I say "Computer". Edited to add: so it's more like what he does that is funny. Edited again to add: and apparently I really can't read the title. My DH will just say "Do what your Mom tells you to do".
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Post by gmcwife1 on Jul 14, 2014 1:05:46 GMT
We have a 15 yr old dd still living at home who like most kids thinks the idea of her parents being affectionate gross. So when she gets lippy I tell her dad and I are going to kiss on the lips right in front of her.
Yep, works every time!
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Jul 14, 2014 1:29:31 GMT
My dd came into my bedroom and saw that I was reading 50 Shades of Gray and she covered her eyes and said "omg, I can't look at you while you are reading that." She's 17, and I'm single. LOL
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pyccku
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,817
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Post by pyccku on Jul 14, 2014 2:37:57 GMT
DH is not a native English speaker and he says weird things sometimes. A few weeks ago, his advice to the kids was "when you go there, you'll be there."
Not too sure what that's supposed to mean.
He also can't tell the difference between puppy/poppy cup/cop, anything with that vowel sound.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on Jul 14, 2014 2:41:30 GMT
I thought of another one. We rarely shop together as a family but we all stopped in at our local Target recently. 17 yo DD sent the boys (DH and teen DS) away while we went to look for bras for her. Not long after we started looking, DH shows up. DD was pretty embarassed and DH says, "I'm just here for support." I started cracking up but DD was not amused.
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Post by angel97701 on Jul 14, 2014 2:53:10 GMT
DSD new boyfriend's name is Jaron, so DH started calling him "Star Lord", b/c it sounds like a science fiction name. She just rolls with it, cuz she's learned . . . the more she fights it the worse it will be!
FWIW her date to Prom called her "Physics girl" b/c she helped w/ his Physics homework . . . but I've digressed!
Dh is a big tease and says all kinds of funny things!
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Jul 14, 2014 6:17:35 GMT
Thought of a couple more. Any time my kids would claim they're starving/dying of thirst I just say "Rule of 3!" and they gave up. Not sure if it's true or not, but I heard on CSI once that you can go 3 minutes w/out air, 3 days w/out water & 3 weeks w/out food. They would roll their eyes every time I said it, but it got them to stop whining. I have a new driver and our insurance went up about $100 a month. Every time I ask him to pick up his brother or run an errand and he attempts to answer with anything other than "OK Mom" I tell would tell him "Earn your $100". I've gotten it down to just saying "$100" lately. More sighing & eye-rolling, but it does the trick.  |
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