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Post by lucyg on May 26, 2015 21:53:11 GMT
You should have a copy of her medical card (don't need the card itself) and a letter signed by her mother allowing you to make emergency medical decisions in her absence.
I never kept other people's kids for longer than a weekend without both of the above.
I would not ask for grocery money. She should have her own spending money but if they are on assistance, that may not be possible.
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 22:55:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2015 21:55:37 GMT
What Lucy said.
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,616 
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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Post by hannahruth on May 26, 2015 21:56:05 GMT
After reading this my initial retain was get the medical card and forget about anything else.
Obviously if mum is on a benefit there is not going to be much money to be given and I think I would just do what I had to do.
Maybe if this is going to be a long term situation then things would be different.
If it is a formal placement then maybe the agency could give some financial assistance.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
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Post by caro on May 26, 2015 21:59:44 GMT
I wouldn't ask for grocery money but yes for spending money. You definitely should have written consent to have the child treated in case of emergency and a medical card.
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 22:55:22 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2015 22:35:48 GMT
I would want whatever I needed (insurance info) to get her medical assistance if needed. And a letter of permission, signed and dated, from the parent saying you had permission to keep the child, take her places and do things with her, and consent to medical treatment if necessary.
I would not ask for any other kind of money, especially if the family is in financial need. If I felt like I didn't have a lot of extra money to spare, I'd curb the expensive activities and find inexpensive or free things to do.
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Post by stingfan on May 26, 2015 22:39:52 GMT
Is she going to school? You might need the mom's permission for school-related things - like picking her up, you'd be the school emergency contact, field trips, etc.
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calgal08
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,519
Jun 27, 2014 15:43:46 GMT
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Post by calgal08 on May 26, 2015 23:13:19 GMT
Without more information, I can't imagine asking for grocery/spending money if I'd offered to take care of a child for a few weeks. Yes, you absolutely need something in writing authorizing you to deal with any medical issues (possibly even notarized), plus, you will need her medical insurance information. I'm confused as to why you're not sure how long she'll be with you. Where's the father? If the parents are separated you'll probably also need his OK to have the child.
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Post by smokeynspike on May 26, 2015 23:36:31 GMT
My daughter has gone to stay with my DH's sister for a few weeks every June for the last two years, and will be going again this June. She is an only child and enjoys this time with her cousins (however, I refuse to invite her up there myself, only if SIL brings it up first!). I send her with spending money, whatever SIL thinks is sufficient. I have never sent her medical cards because she doesn't have her own. We are a couple of hours away and would leave immediately if needed. I guess I should probably do at least a photocopy of our card with consent form, if needed, for medical care.
Melissa |
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Post by bwife on May 27, 2015 2:44:05 GMT
You should have a copy of her medical card (don't need the card itself) and a letter signed by her mother allowing you to make emergency medical decisions in her absence. Depending on your state. The signed letter for you to make emergency Medical decisions may also need to be notarized. You should probably call your local hospital and ask what their requirements are. When I leave my kids with my mom we always leave a copy of the Ins. Card, #'s to all of their drs and a medical release that is signed, dated and notarized. |
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Post by freecharlie on May 27, 2015 3:02:57 GMT
When we are going out of state without the kids, we give both sets of grandparents a signed note authorizing them to make medical decisions. It includes their full name, DOB, insurance information, doctor name and phone number and we leave their cards. Before we had a card per person, we would leave on card and take one card with us.
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Post by *sprout* on May 27, 2015 3:09:43 GMT
I would check on the requirements for your state regarding what is needed for the medical decisions, etc. In my state, a letter from the parent(s) is not legally enforceable, even if it is notarized. I was very surprised to learn that, especially since that's what I left with dd's babysitter.
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Post by lucyg on May 27, 2015 4:07:14 GMT
I would check on the requirements for your state regarding what is needed for the medical decisions, etc. In my state, a letter from the parent(s) is not legally enforceable, even if it is notarized. I was very surprised to learn that, especially since that's what I left with dd's babysitter. I think it may not be "legally enforceable" anywhere. But I think in an emergency situation, it won't matter. The hospital will be looking for someone to make decisions, and you're the one with the letter from the parents. The "legally enforceable" thing is only going to matter if there's some kind of dispute over who's in charge. Maybe someone who works in a hospital setting can give us better info. |
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Post by lucyg on May 27, 2015 4:43:36 GMT
You're doing such a generous thing.  |
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
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Post by LeaP on May 27, 2015 5:23:23 GMT
You're doing such a generous thing.  and I would get a copy of her health insurance in case she gets sick. When I send my kids to see relatives I put passport/Nexus and insurance cards in a ziplock bag that my oldest turns over to the host upon arrival. |
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Post by librarylady on May 27, 2015 13:36:26 GMT
How old is the child? This may evolve into a permanent member of your family...but I think it is good that you are attempting to rescue her.
ETA:
These things can go crazy on you. Back when I was a child (in the dark ages) my 2 cousins came to live with us. Their mother had had surgery, and some other extenuating circumstances. The boys were 14-15 at the time. We had a farm and at the time my parents had 7 children. My cousins were treated like they were just another part of my parents children--therefore they helped with chores on the farm. My parents provided all the food and necessities. My cousins lived with us for 2.5 years. When they went home, my aunt learned they had helped with chores and sent a letter to my parents asking that the boys get money for the labor they had provided.
Do I need to tell you my father went ballistic? I think my father countered with a bill for food, lodging, clothing for 2.5 years.......and the matter was dropped.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
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Post by tduby1 on May 27, 2015 14:57:48 GMT
I would check on the requirements for your state regarding what is needed for the medical decisions, etc. In my state, a letter from the parent(s) is not legally enforceable, even if it is notarized. I was very surprised to learn that, especially since that's what I left with dd's babysitter. I think it may not be "legally enforceable" anywhere. But I think in an emergency situation, it won't matter. The hospital will be looking for someone to make decisions, and you're the one with the letter from the parents. The "legally enforceable" thing is only going to matter if there's some kind of dispute over who's in charge. Maybe someone who works in a hospital setting can give us better info. I don't have an answer. Just a story. Maybe 12 years ago, while my brother was still a minor, he was injured in my care. My parent's were out of town for the weekend and he stayed home with us. I think he was 16. Anyway, he gashed his eye playing basketball (??). DH took him to the hospital, and they refused to treat him without any kind of documentation from my parents. So, I tried my parent's cell phone. They didn't answer.
What happened next will probably draw criticism but the boy needed stitches. I call my aunt, my mom's sister. She called the hospital impersonating my mom and gave them "permission" to treat him. Honestly, they were being so stringent that I wasn't even sure *that* would work, but it did, eventually. My aunt is a pretty good salewoman.
Based on that, I NEVER take a kid's friend on a trip, up north, camping etc, without written permission to access treatment and insurance cards. Better safe than sorry.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
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Post by tduby1 on May 27, 2015 14:59:04 GMT
Oh and to further answer the op's question. I would not ask for grocery money. I wouldn't even suggest spending money but that is just me.
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on May 27, 2015 17:42:55 GMT
I'd ask for a copy of her insurance card. I would not ask for grocery or spending money. And I'd let her stay as long as I could... that age is a tricky one and you are doing a good thing.
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Post by freecharlie on May 27, 2015 17:46:00 GMT
What about a medical power of attorney or something? Maybe call your doctor 9ffice, a hospital, and a lawyer and get those answers.
A hospital has to do emergency care regardless, but after that, if you sign and don't have authorization, would you be on the hook for the bill?
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Post by freecharlie on May 27, 2015 17:46:47 GMT
How old is the child? This may evolve into a permanent member of your family...but I think it is good that you are attempting to rescue her. ETA: These things can go crazy on you. Back when I was a child (in the dark ages) my 2 cousins came to live with us. Their mother had had surgery, and some other extenuating circumstances. The boys were 14-15 at the time. We had a farm and at the time my parents had 7 children. My cousins were treated like they were just another part of my parents children--therefore they helped with chores on the farm. My parents provided all the food and necessities. My cousins lived with us for 2.5 years. When they went home, my aunt learned they had helped with chores and sent a letter to my parents asking that the boys get money for the labor they had provided. Do I need to tell you my father went ballistic? I think my father countered with a bill for food, lodging, clothing for 2.5 years.......and the matter was dropped. wow, that aunt had balls |
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Post by anonrefugee on May 27, 2015 19:50:08 GMT
librarylady, I love the kindness of a family that large growing to include more- and admire your Dad for saying enough is enough!
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Post by doesitmatter on May 27, 2015 21:19:11 GMT
I think you are absolutely doing the rigth thing helping this child out, thank you! I too have taken in a child or a teen in the past. When I was married and working it wasn't a big deal, but recently we took in ds's teen friend (6"5 boy who could eat!) for a few months and I haven't been working, have been paying college tuition for 3 of us, without child support and so my savings had all but run out...it was tough. But I will tell you, whatever we had - we divided it. It has been up and down the past few years since divorcing and relocating out of state. My dad always said that no matter how little we had at times, that he could always "at least give someone a place on the floor and half a sandwhich". My dad had a rough childhood and often went without the very basics, and he worked several jobs when I was a child to provide for us, and he took in 2 younger brothers and raised them as my siblings when they were ages 11 and 12 to adult. I would want the medical insurance information and a letter authorizing care/treatment. I would absolutlely not ask for any money. I think the child is already aware of what he/she does or doesn't have and may alreay feel like a burden  I think you mentioned that you might able to give a chore list and a small allowance as you do for your children, and I think that would be so valuable to this child's self esteem. I also agree that you can find plenty of free activities like geo caching, scavenger hunts, public pools, parks, library programs etc in addition to some low cost activities. Your kindness for this child will mean the world to this child and serve as an example to your children as well. Thank you for making a difference  |
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and I would get a copy of her health insurance in case she gets sick. When I send my kids to see relatives I put passport/Nexus and insurance cards in a ziplock bag that my oldest turns over to the host upon arrival. 
