ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on May 27, 2015 15:19:38 GMT
because saying it on FB will just piss my MIL off...and i don't need anymore of her drama
but seriously
do all older people think that it was 'better in their day'?
am i going to turn into one of those people
i am so tired of hearing that parent's nowadays don't know how to raise kids
that our kids are entitled brats
logically - one would think that EVERY generation thinks theirs is the best
i mean...my MIL's generation was gyrating to elvis on the ed sullivan show...and i bet their grandmothers were complaining that they weren't raised right
give it a rest people...we are doing just as good as you did
and if i hear that she only had one doll and sticks to play with..i might just scream!
gina
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Post by tallgirl on May 27, 2015 15:23:21 GMT
I do think we all think that way. I wish my daughter would read the Little House books instead of the crappy little chapter books she brings home, I wish my kids would go ride their bikes more rather than watch YouTube videos, etc. etc. I am projecting my happy childhood onto them and I know that. At the time, my parents thought my brain would rot from watching Happy Days and playing on my Commodore 64. I think it's human nature (and the world is evolving so quickly) to think that things will never be as good again as they were.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 11:21:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 15:27:25 GMT
Every generation thinks that from the beginning of time. I find it patronizing and sad tbh.
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on May 27, 2015 15:28:31 GMT
I might be the opposite. I think that maybe our world has a chance with this generation. They might be more entitled, but they are also more environmentally and socially aware. Right now they are kids, so of course they are little assholes, that's what they do. Weren't we all a bunch of punks at one time? I know I was!
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Post by anxiousmom on May 27, 2015 15:32:18 GMT
There is good and bad with every generation.
And, I will be honest, the older I get, the more I rewrite my memories to a more idealized version of my childhood. There were some really cool things that we did that I think children don't have the opportunities to do now which *I* think, in some ways, delays independence-but that doesn't mean better.
Also, as I get older, not only do I remember my childhood, but also how my childhood differs from my children's childhood-which is even different than what children have now. So there is a lot to compare it to. If I were a grandmother, add in another generation of children of that to compare to. That's a whole lot of contrast-some good, some bad.
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Post by pjaye on May 27, 2015 15:45:54 GMT
I don't agree at all and from what I've read...I think I'm younger than you, but I am firmly on your MIL's side. I don't think parents are doing as good a job these days as our parents did and I think was better in their day. again agreeing with your ML here, I don't think they do either. Kids don't get enough discipline, they get far too much "stuff" and they are too used to getting what they want, when they want it and it's producing a generation of spoilt brats with a sense of entitlement and no impulse control.
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Post by anonrefugee on May 27, 2015 15:48:13 GMT
My mother thinks everyone in her generation "saved their money, didn't live beyond their means, prepared for retirement".
It makes for ridiculous conversations.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 11:21:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 15:49:35 GMT
I don't agree at all and from what I've read...I think I'm younger than you, but I am firmly on your MIL's side. I don't think parents are doing as good a job these days as our parents did and I think was better in their day. again agreeing with your ML here, I don't think they do either. Kids don't get enough discipline, they get far too much "stuff" and they are too used to getting what they want, when they want it and it's producing a generation of spoilt brats with a sense of entitlement and no impulse control. Every single generation thinks this about the next. Seriously. No kids I know are raised like you are claiming. They get plenty of discipline and have control.
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Post by pjaye on May 27, 2015 15:54:37 GMT
I don't agree at all and from what I've read...I think I'm younger than you, but I am firmly on your MIL's side. I don't think parents are doing as good a job these days as our parents did and I think was better in their day. again agreeing with your ML here, I don't think they do either. Kids don't get enough discipline, they get far too much "stuff" and they are too used to getting what they want, when they want it and it's producing a generation of spoilt brats with a sense of entitlement and no impulse control. Every single generation thinks this about the next. Seriously. No kids I know are raised like you are claiming. They get plenty of discipline and have control. Not buying that for a second, every kid you know? I doubt the USA is that different, every kid I see on TV and even the way their own parents talk about their kids here tells me I am right. Plus I see plenty in my own life. You probably just have lower standards of behaviour.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 11:21:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 15:58:22 GMT
Every single generation thinks this about the next. Seriously. No kids I know are raised like you are claiming. They get plenty of discipline and have control. Not buying that for a second, every kid you know? I doubt the USA is that different, every kid I see on TV and even the way their own parents talk about their kids here tells me I am right. Plus I see plenty in my own life. You probably just have lower standards of behaviour.
I'm talking about the kids I truly know. And um no my standards of behavior are pretty high and so are my family's, but thanks for the dig. But go on believing this generation is all crappy entitled kids with no self control.
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Post by anonrefugee on May 27, 2015 16:00:41 GMT
pjaye I'm still in the mom game and I can tell you- a friend and I said same thing yesterday about our teen sons. And we're both tough moms. We came to conclusion school / society pressures are so much greater now we slack off a little to keep balance. The reality is my kid is probably more responsible and better prepared to handle life than I was at his age- and I was a responsible kid. You can't look only at the material goods and make assumptions. (Not saying you were-) Most of us, here on an Internet message board, are living with thousand of $ more stuff required for life now than 30-40 years ago. Cable/internet/cell phones/ etc ETA whoa I'm replying to a post a few above. I types so alow it seems things took a turn there.
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Post by gar on May 27, 2015 16:02:25 GMT
8 pager?
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Post by anonrefugee on May 27, 2015 16:03:46 GMT
8 pager? Oh my . It is early I. The week, we could do it!
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 11:21:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 16:05:07 GMT
Every single generation thinks this about the next. Seriously. No kids I know are raised like you are claiming. They get plenty of discipline and have control. Not buying that for a second, every kid you know? I doubt the USA is that different, every kid I see on TV and even the way their own parents talk about their kids here tells me I am right. Plus I see plenty in my own life. You probably just have lower standards of behaviour.
I don't see it either. I love my kids' friends -- they're polite and kind, work hard and are going to be successful. From where I stand, the next generation is going to be wonderful. Now, I don't make much of the kids on TV -- I don't know anyone who acts like that in real life. Perhaps I'm a pollyanna, but I love being around kids and think they're great.
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Post by knit.pea on May 27, 2015 16:05:55 GMT
My parents were older (born in the early 1920s), so I learned from what they went through with WWII, etc. Very different mindset ... literally how to survive. Then my family growing up was lower middle class. Didn't have a lot, but owned a house, steady job for 30+ years, etc. Not many extras, though.
It's hard to even compare to life now. We have SO much everything. But our kids have never seen how hard it can be or have never had to live with less.
We very frankly talk about saving up and waiting for a good deal/sale, etc. It may appear easier for us now, but we make a lot of very purposeful decisions.
I'm interested to see how our oldest DS does while away at college, budgeting his time/money/energy.
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Post by bc2ca on May 27, 2015 16:07:48 GMT
My mother thinks everyone in her generation "saved their money, didn't live beyond their means, prepared for retirement". It makes for ridiculous conversations. Depending on how old your mother is credit cards were not readily available so by default people saved more and couldn't live beyond their means. Not that I think using credit and living beyond your means is a good thing, it just wasn't something her generation faced.
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Post by snowsilver on May 27, 2015 16:12:31 GMT
I'm with pjaye on this. I really do think it was better in my day. There is absolutely no question in my mind that kids were more disciplined when I was growing up.
Have you read any of the teacher threads here? Teachers are in despair trying to control classrooms with entitled brats. When I was a kid, the teacher had the right to discipline (and the parents would back him/her). Today the kid is always right.
We had almost NO teenage pregnancy, birth control wasn't handed out like candy in the school. Kids played outside and weren't obese from lack of exercise. I could go on and on--but having lived in the previous generation and this generation, I have no doubt that things were better before.
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Post by anxiousmom on May 27, 2015 16:12:40 GMT
My mother thinks everyone in her generation "saved their money, didn't live beyond their means, prepared for retirement". It makes for ridiculous conversations. Depending on how old your mother is credit cards were not readily available so by default people saved more and couldn't live beyond their means. Not that I think using credit and living beyond your means is a good thing, it just wasn't something her generation faced. My grandfather was famous for saying "never by anything on time." He was from the depression/WWII era.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,580
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on May 27, 2015 16:14:32 GMT
Not buying that for a second, every kid you know? I doubt the USA is that different, every kid I see on TV and even the way their own parents talk about their kids here tells me I am right. Plus I see plenty in my own life. You probably just have lower standards of behaviour.
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Post by padresfan619 on May 27, 2015 16:18:07 GMT
I'm with pjaye on this. I really do think it was better in my day. There is absolutely no question in my mind that kids were more disciplined when I was growing up. Have you read any of the teacher threads here? Teachers are in despair trying to control classrooms with entitled brats. When I was a kid, the teacher had the right to discipline (and the parents would back him/her). Today the kid is always right. We had almost NO teenage pregnancy, birth control wasn't handed out like candy in the school. Kids played outside and weren't obese from lack of exercise. I could go on and on--but having lived in the previous generation and this generation, I have no doubt that things were better before. Respectfully, I think you need to do some research on teen pregnancy rates. They are at an all-time low except for areas in the country where abstinence is the only method taught in sex ed. And as for birth control being handed out like candy....as a member of the millennial generation, I have always been required to go to the doctor and have an exam before getting a prescription. I have never been able to just walk up and select whatever birth control method I want alongside the candy bars. I know you were saying that in jest, but it isn't as simple as you made it out to be.
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Post by myboysnme on May 27, 2015 16:21:55 GMT
I think it is natural that we want to look back on periods of our lives when things seemed simpler and happier and describe that to new generations. Of course whenever that happens we end up putting down new ways and people whose good times are now.
I think things are better in many ways and not better in others. I was thinking about when my mom used to use a baby carriage and she lived on the second floor of a house, so she left the carriage on the front porch because she couldn't drag it up the stairs. She never worried about anyone stealing it. My own kids had bikes stolen from in front of our house at least 3 times and I live in a nice planned community where every kid has a nice bike. Again, probably depends where you live. But it was just something I was thinking about. My son goes to a nice university and got his bike stolen from in front of the gym where he had used a ULock.
I wonder if you opened a conversation with those folks who think things were better and ask them about when they were raising kids or growing up. Sometimes people just want to share and reminisce and are trying to find an opening through criticizing the way things are now.
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Post by sphmaz on May 27, 2015 16:22:10 GMT
again agreeing with your ML here, I don't think they do either. Kids don't get enough discipline, they get far too much "stuff" and they are too used to getting what they want, when they want it and it's producing a generation of spoilt brats with a sense of entitlement and no impulse control. I want to disagree with you! But I can't. My kids have actually complained because they have chores when "so and so doesn't!" and again, "so and so is allowed to have that, why can't I?". My sons BFF is a prime example. He has gotten into some trouble in the past and as much as his parents talk about the punishment, it never happens. He's off doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I love the boy dearly but no discipline at ALL! I see it A LOT with my kids generation at soccer games, practices, school events...it's really kind of crazy!
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breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,381
Location: PNW
Jul 20, 2014 21:57:23 GMT
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Post by breetheflea on May 27, 2015 16:23:30 GMT
I think my parents had an easier job than I do because they could leave us home alone, let us go outside whenever we wanted, take us to the store and leave us in the car, give us change and send us to the store alone.... I feel like I can't let me kids go upstairs without me because something might happen and I'll be on the 5 o'clock news for being the world's worst parent.
I'm exaggerating but not by much...
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Post by alittleintrepid on May 27, 2015 16:25:35 GMT
I would be tempted to post the Socrates quote on FB in rebuttal...
"The children now love luxury;'they have bad manners;, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children now are tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up daintiest at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."
Then, I'd say something like "booyah" or "how do you like them apples?" Just cause I'm crotchety like that!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 11:21:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 16:27:10 GMT
I get that a lot from my MIL in regard to technology. While I don't disagree to time and place, she lumps everything together.
It's really gotten to the point that I just tune it out.
I also guess I can give her a bit of a pass, because she will talk about how I enjoy my children, while when she was a mom, she felt like she had to clean and keep up with house stuff all the time.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 11:21:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 16:27:34 GMT
again agreeing with your ML here, I don't think they do either. Kids don't get enough discipline, they get far too much "stuff" and they are too used to getting what they want, when they want it and it's producing a generation of spoilt brats with a sense of entitlement and no impulse control. I want to disagree with you! But I can't. My kids have actually complained because they have chores when "so and so doesn't!" and again, "so and so is allowed to have that, why can't I?". My sons BFF is a prime example. He has gotten into some trouble in the past and as much as his parents talk about the punishment, it never happens. He's off doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I love the boy dearly but no discipline at ALL! I see it A LOT with my kids generation at soccer games, practices, school events...it's really kind of crazy! There have ALWAYS been kids/families like that. Each generation is different. Not better or worse. Different. Society changes and people's habits, behaviors and social mores change along with it. Lather, rinse, repeat ad infinitum.
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Post by anonrefugee on May 27, 2015 16:28:53 GMT
My mother thinks everyone in her generation "saved their money, didn't live beyond their means, prepared for retirement". It makes for ridiculous conversations. Depending on how old your mother is credit cards were not readily available so by default people saved more and couldn't live beyond their means. Not that I think using credit and living beyond your means is a good thing, it just wasn't something her generation faced. She's almost 80. Credit cards have been available most of her adult life, and there were other means of credit available for those that wanted it. Obviously I'm glad she and my Dad were good with finances. But I have two friends with parents the same age who weren't. Her assumptions have caused Her to put her for in her mouth, but that's on her. My real gripe is her continual belief that her situation is universal, no matter the subject.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 11:21:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 16:29:44 GMT
again agreeing with your ML here, I don't think they do either. Kids don't get enough discipline, they get far too much "stuff" and they are too used to getting what they want, when they want it and it's producing a generation of spoilt brats with a sense of entitlement and no impulse control. I want to disagree with you! But I can't. My kids have actually complained because they have chores when "so and so doesn't!" and again, "so and so is allowed to have that, why can't I?". My sons BFF is a prime example. He has gotten into some trouble in the past and as much as his parents talk about the punishment, it never happens. He's off doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I love the boy dearly but no discipline at ALL! I see it A LOT with my kids generation at soccer games, practices, school events...it's really kind of crazy! And I said the same to my parents. Some parents aren't doing a great job but that's the same then and now.
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Post by gar on May 27, 2015 16:30:50 GMT
I think my parents had an easier job than I do because they could leave us home alone, let us go outside whenever we wanted, take us to the store and leave us in the car, give us change and send us to the store alone.... I feel like I can't let me kids go upstairs without me because something might happen and I'll be on the 5 o'clock news for being the world's worst parent. I'm exaggerating but not by much... That's sort of thing is largely in your mind. You can choose to be ruled by fear or you can be realistic and, whilst not ignoring *real* risks, can allow kids to have a fair amount of freedom....often a lot more than many parents seem prepared to really think about, rather than make knee jerk reactions about.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 11:21:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 16:31:42 GMT
I'm with pjaye on this. I really do think it was better in my day. There is absolutely no question in my mind that kids were more disciplined when I was growing up. Have you read any of the teacher threads here? Teachers are in despair trying to control classrooms with entitled brats. When I was a kid, the teacher had the right to discipline (and the parents would back him/her). Today the kid is always right. We had almost NO teenage pregnancy, birth control wasn't handed out like candy in the school. Kids played outside and weren't obese from lack of exercise. I could go on and on--but having lived in the previous generation and this generation, I have no doubt that things were better before. The statistics don't agree with you about teen pregnancy at all. Back then they would send the girl away and force jef to adopt it out. I prefer how it's done today.
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