4my2sons
Shy Member
Posts: 36 
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Post by 4my2sons on May 29, 2015 21:42:55 GMT
My heartfelt condolences to all of you
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
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Post by tduby1 on May 29, 2015 22:07:57 GMT
I am sorry for your loss.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 11, 2024 21:46:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 22:18:40 GMT
I don't have an experience to share, but just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss.
Prayers for your mom, you and your family. |
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Post by librarylady on May 29, 2015 22:51:46 GMT
My condolences.
IMO, your grieving will take longer because you were not able to participate in a memorial service/funeral. Perhaps when you see your mom, you can have a ceremony at home to say good-bye and share memories. I think that will help a little.
But, the pain lasts a long time....and when you think the wound has a scab, something will rip it off and the pain will be new. It is just the way loss feels.
I was 19 when my father died, suddenly, and it takes a long time to heal.
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Post by gramasue on May 29, 2015 22:59:32 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
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Post by cmpeter on May 29, 2015 23:02:21 GMT
I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Hugs!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 11, 2024 21:46:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 23:03:31 GMT
I'm so sorry...I don't have anything to add other than that I'm prayin for you and your mom.
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Post by lucyg on May 29, 2015 23:05:08 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. We never get too old to to grieve a lost parent.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 29, 2015 23:16:27 GMT
I lost my dad back in early 2000. It was the year of many major stressors for me (birth of DS/marraige woes/moving) and I don't think I processed the whole thing until much later. Take it easy on yourself and try to get as much rest as you can. I know it's hard to think of yourself during this time, but it's important that you heal and grieve. I'm sorry for your loss.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on May 29, 2015 23:16:35 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.  My DDs were adults when my late DH died. As a mother to grieving children I have to say that one of the best ways for me to begin the healing process was spending time with my DDs. We knew him better than anyone did and just talking about our memories of him, lamenting what we were going to miss most and crying to each other was very therapeutic for me. It still is 10 years later. Let your Mom talk about him. Your memories will keep him alive in your heart. |
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Post by littlefish on May 29, 2015 23:17:15 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss.
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Post by rumplesnat on May 30, 2015 0:02:19 GMT
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I, too, have been experiencing the same thing.
My dad suddenly and unexpectedly passed away 7 months ago, 6 days before I had my son. I had a cesarean section plus the baby was in NICU for 5 days. I was in such an emotional haze that it barely occurred to me that I had major surgery. I was sitting guard in the NICU for 20 hours a day instead of resting and it just blows my mind how I was able to function so well.
To be honest, I am still a bit in denial about my dad being gone. I visit the cemetery and break down every now and then, not nearly as much as I did, but I try not to think about it and I believe that is how I am getting by. Sometimes I avoid looking at his photos because I just don't want to face reality.
I'm truly sorry and wish you healing and peace.
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Post by hop2 on May 30, 2015 0:10:31 GMT
I'm so sorry. {{{ hugs}}}
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,968
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Post by AnotherPea on May 30, 2015 0:39:19 GMT
I'm so sorry
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Post by *sprout* on May 30, 2015 1:29:24 GMT
I'm so sorry. (((hugs)))
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Post by AussieMeg on May 30, 2015 1:31:29 GMT
I'm really sorry about the loss of your dad. (((Hugs))) to you and your family.
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
Posts: 3,073
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on May 30, 2015 1:55:49 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. Be patient with yourself. Grieving doesn't have an expiration date. It takes as long as it takes.
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Post by lovinlife on May 30, 2015 1:59:20 GMT
I am so sorry
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Post by peasapie on May 30, 2015 2:02:43 GMT
I'm so sorry. I think it's a little harder when we don't see someone daily, because we're used to periods of time without seeing them as not being unusual. There are still days when I feel like, if I just drove to my dad's former home, I'd see him there.
It will take time, as others have said.
I firmly believe my parents are both always with me, even if I can't speak with them. So the truth is that I never completely feel they are gone.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,501
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Post by ellen on May 30, 2015 2:04:32 GMT
I'm so sorry. My mom died just a little over a year ago. It was unexpected and it took a while for it to seem real - and I was with her when she died. I hated that when I got up in the morning the first thing I thought was, "Oh God, that's right. My mom died." It took over a month for that to stop and I was so glad when it did. It was just a far sadder experience than I ever imagined it could be. However, it doesn't always feel that way. Grief starts out like a hand in your face and over time it becomes more like a hand on your shoulder. You don't get over it, but it doesn't consume you the way it does in the beginning. When about a month went by and I was still feeling so incredibly miserable, I ordered a book on grieving for someone you lost unexpectedly and it helped me to see that I was handling it in a way that was completely normal. I found it helpful to read articles about grieving online too. It helped me see that sometimes we all just have to go through hard times in life and that I'd get through this. Again, I'm so sorry. It really is hard.
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Post by trainscrapper on May 30, 2015 2:16:26 GMT
My parents lived in Houston near me for the last 8 years, but still had a home in Kentucky. They moved back to Kentucky right after the first of the year. My dad's health has been declining for the last several years and my mom is his constant care giver. Ever since they moved back to Kentucky my dad would average being in the hospital/rehab facility from 2-3 weeks at a time and then go home for three weeks or so before he had to return to the hospital. It wasn't looking very good for him in March, so my DD and I flew up and spent several days with he and my mom at the hospital. He had COPD, emphysema, atrial fib, congestive heart failure and so many other medical problems. He struggled with daily living and the simple act of breathing was hard for him at times. On Monday, May 18 I was in the hospital had surgery. On Tuesday morning my dad passed in his sleep at 8:20. DH told me around 11:00 a.m. It took me a little bit to get myself pulled together before I called my mom. It doesn't seem real. I keep waiting for him to call me and ask "So, how's my girl?" I don't think it's going to fully hit me until I see my mom and my dad isn't with her. They were each other's constant companions. My mom was in tears a couple of nights ago because she made herself go out to dinner by herself. She said it's one of the hardest things she's ever done. My mom will be coming back to stay with us hopefully in the next few weeks and she's bringing my dad's ashes with her. I feel like I'm not really "dealing" my loss and I don't want to add to my mom's heartache when she gets here. I don't know who to do with these emotions that are just below the surface. I also feel like I'm not recovering from surgery at a very good pace because of my emotional turmoil. I am completely exhausted. Anyone else have an experience to share? First of all, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 26. I never in a million years thought I would have to bury a parent at that age. At first I think I was in shock, not knowing how to deal with the one person I knew would never let me down and was always there for me no matter what. Didn't want people talking to me about him, the situation or to hear any "kind words" they had to say, (other than his 2 best friends). I felt the others had no clue what I was going through (yeah I know that was the wrong thinking, but at the time it is where I was). After that I would just cry, no warning, it just came and kept coming. At first I tried to hide it, but someone told me that wouldn't work and that it was o.k., it was expected. So I did, never apologized for it, didn't get embarassed, and yes it helped. I think it is a process, everyone is different, but when and how it happens just let it happen. You are allowed, it is what happens when we care so deeply for someone, I think anyway. It has been almost 15 years (this December) and at times it still feels like last week. I think of him everyday, sometimes even talk to him in my mind, about thinks I wish I had said or done. It may sound crazy but it is how I keep him close. It is a club that no one really wants to join. (sorry this was so long). Thinking of you and your family and hope in time your memories become more of a comfort instead of a sense of sadness. |
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
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Post by scrapaddie on May 30, 2015 2:40:48 GMT
I am so sorry. My dad was always the big guy in the background that can handle anything. even when he was 96 years old and shorter than I am. it is really difficult to be without that strength and support that was my daddy. I did not realize how much I relied on that until he was gone. I never asked him for anything or demanded anything from him but just knowing he was there was such a blessing.
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ladymadonna
Shy Member
Posts: 28
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Post by ladymadonna on May 30, 2015 2:54:40 GMT
So sorry for your loss. It's hard, I know. Hugs to you
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cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,431
Location: Fergus, Ontario
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Post by cakediva on May 30, 2015 3:07:40 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been there, and it sucks.
we lost my Dad very suddenly, no warning. (Quick backstory....Dad liked to watch the planes land at the small local airport on his lunch, and once fell asleep and ended up taking a two hour lunch!)
he went missing one afternoon, my brother called me at my shop, and we joked he was at the airport asleep in his car. But he wasn't. He'd gone for one of his lunch time drives, and his heart just stopped. We know an off duty Toronto fire fighter was driving behind him, and when he missed the stop and hit the ditch, the firefighter dove into action. He dragged my Dad out of his car (no small feat, he was a large man) and immediately started CPR. So we know that everything that could have been done, was done. The coroner said his heart muscles were beyond repair, and had he survived, he'd have been an invalid for his remaining years.
Doesn't make it any easier though. 10 years later and I miss him every day.
im so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your family.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 30, 2015 3:13:40 GMT
I'm very sorry for your loss.  |
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Post by onescrappygirl on May 30, 2015 3:24:52 GMT
So sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family.
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Post by deafpea on May 30, 2015 3:39:44 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss.
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Post by scrappinmom3 on May 30, 2015 3:48:45 GMT
I'm so sorry.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on May 30, 2015 3:57:11 GMT
I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your wonderful dad.
I have no advice other to talk and let it out.
(((hugs)))
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Post by alittleintrepid on May 30, 2015 14:01:05 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother a little over a year ago so know how deep your sorrow is. Go easy on yourself. I don't think it will ease your mother's burden if you pretend to be okay....in fact, for my dad, I think our displays of grief echoed his feelings and honoured my mother's memory. KWIM?
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