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Post by compeateropeator on Jun 21, 2015 16:02:57 GMT
You said you're Facebook friends with her, so I don't understand why you didn't just send her a message asking for the info you needed. As for the question, keep it to yourself. I agree about keeping info to yourself but I google stuff all the time, for variety of reasons and sometimes just for curiosity. This includes address or phone numbers of people I could contact. I don't see what is so off about that?
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Jun 21, 2015 16:23:22 GMT
The cash box incident is a big red flag. I would say something.
For years I was the co-chair for the book fair at my daughters' school. One year there was a mom who was a fantastic volunteer. The librarian and I didn't really know her well, but she took charge of checkout and moved everything along well. She told us she had an MBA from USC but was taking time off because of her youngest daughters separation anxiety. $1,000 went missing. The librarian and I could not figure out how it could have happened. We recalculated and re-tallied everything multiple times. We just couldn't accept that *she* might have embezzled. Flash forward a few weeks, she has virtually disappeared and the grandmother has taken over the childcare. Still in denial the librarian asked if the mom had to go overseas. The grandmother is confused and in the ensuing conversation says the daughter never ever attended USC. No MBA, nothing, just a big ol' con. We were completely sucked in. Based on my experience, I imagine this happens much more frequently than is acknowledged.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jun 21, 2015 16:40:16 GMT
You said you're Facebook friends with her, so I don't understand why you didn't just send her a message asking for the info you needed. As for the question, keep it to yourself. I agree about keeping info to yourself but I google stuff all the time, for variety of reasons and sometimes just for curiosity. This includes address or phone numbers of people I could contact. I don't see what is so off about that? A couple of people asked why I didn't just ask her on FB.. and its a good question. I just wanted to name the school she was at correctly, and I had noticed that she was helping mutual friends move on two school days so I just wasn't sure if I remembered what she had told me correctly.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 16:42:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2015 17:14:35 GMT
You said you're Facebook friends with her, so I don't understand why you didn't just send her a message asking for the info you needed. As for the question, keep it to yourself. I agree about keeping info to yourself but I google stuff all the time, for variety of reasons and sometimes just for curiosity. This includes address or phone numbers of people I could contact. I don't see what is so off about that? I Google stuff too, and I don't think anything's "off" with it. However, as in this case, you might find out stuff you wish you didn't know and end up with a conundrum on your hands. I was just wondering (and the OP has now addressed it) why she hadn't asked on FB since it seemed to be the most expedient way to get the info she wanted. That's all!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 21, 2015 17:51:18 GMT
In the pre-Google days, I learned that a lady who was in a social group with me was the president of the local Shoplifter's Anonymous chapter. She was being interviewed about it on a local radio station. She had a very distinctive voice so I recognized her from her voice immediately even though she wasn't personally identified by name. Suddenly a whole LOT of things that happened before started to make sense, like the fact that some people we mutually knew who had a retail store had banned her from the store but never said why, and every time our group met at her house she always had a LOT of fun, expensive new stuff in her craft room in spite of always complaining about having money trouble. Another time (before I knew for sure) when we were at a different person's house I could have sworn she palmed several craft pens when no one was looking. Since I didn't SEE her do it directly I couldn't accuse her, but it was just odd that they suddenly disappeared from the table after she had been in the room alone. It absolutely changed how I felt about her and after that I never wanted to host the group in my home wondering what she would steal from me if given the chance when my back was turned.
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uksue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,505
Location: London
Jun 25, 2014 22:33:20 GMT
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Post by uksue on Jun 21, 2015 18:25:39 GMT
Tried to edit and it wouldn't let me paste it back
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Post by compeateropeator on Jun 21, 2015 18:37:19 GMT
I agree about keeping info to yourself but I google stuff all the time, for variety of reasons and sometimes just for curiosity. This includes address or phone numbers of people I could contact. I don't see what is so off about that? I Google stuff too, and I don't think anything's "off" with it. However, as in this case, you might find out stuff you wish you didn't know and end up with a conundrum on your hands. I was just wondering (and the OP has now addressed it) why she hadn't asked on FB since it seemed to be the most expedient way to get the info she wanted. That's all! Makes sense...nothing meant by the question, I guess I was just wondering why you wondered why she googled. That didn't even cross my mind when I read the original post - and sometimes I wondered why I don't wonder things. And you answered, thanks. ETA: I am not on Facebook, so that probably skewed my thought process...hahaha. I guess off wasn't a good word to use. Sorry.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jun 21, 2015 19:37:37 GMT
I admit I felt really guilty, like I had done something wrong when I found out this information. I almost didn't post on here because I thought I might get slammed for being nosey.
It really was innocent on my part... but I felt like I was snooping.
I am sure I am not the first person to stumble upon this information. but it will make me think again before I google someone.
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Post by scrappysurfer on Jun 21, 2015 23:33:04 GMT
DH works with a woman that he had a one night stand with, twenty years ago. He said she wanted to have a relationship with him but he was only interested in sex lol.
I trust him completely but it definitely makes me see her differently. Especially since she fits the profile of all his old girlfriends - blond, blue eyes, petite.
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Post by littlefish on Jun 21, 2015 23:45:42 GMT
Should you say anything? Not unless you have evidence.
I would also distance myself from working on money-related activities with her.
That said, if you really wanted to know the outcome, you could potentially find it through your local clerk of court records search. Not everything is on there, but sometimes it can be quite educational.
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Post by tarheelgurl on Jun 22, 2015 1:23:49 GMT
MYOB. Everyone deserves a second chance.
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TheOtherMeg
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,541
Jun 25, 2014 20:58:14 GMT
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Post by TheOtherMeg on Jun 22, 2015 1:55:53 GMT
I wouldn't say anything. You don't have all of the facts and people should have a chance to redeem themselves. As for the cash box, I really think that it is prudent for only one person to be in charge of the cash. It makes it less messy if anything goes awry. Whether or not she did or did not do anything wrong back then, I would imagine that the fear of being accused of a wrong-doing, possibly incorrectly, would make her super-protective of any money she is in charge of, kwim? I agree that her history probably makes her very protective of money for which she's responsible. That said, I'd take a CMA stance here and never handle the money on my own.
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Post by SabrinaM on Jun 22, 2015 3:45:18 GMT
I don't know what you should do. I would keep it to myself. Here is my little story: I joined the PTA when my dd started school. The next year I became the VP and there was a lot of turbulence over the new group of parents, because the old board wanted to change the rules so they could stay on as the board. Even the president who had no more children in elementary school was furious that we insisted they step down and we have a new election per the by laws. So then the treasurer *refused* to give us the money. The president and I asked her repeatedly when we could meet at the bank to turn over the account starting in May. We are a year round school so we needed the money squared away for back to school night in the second week of July. By the end of June she still would not turn over the money. I emailed her the rules from the national PTA and told her she had to turn over the money. I copied our principal. I sent him a private email that she would not cooperate. He ignored it. The first week of July the president and I wrote a stern note threatening legal action against her if she did not meet us and turn over the bank account. In return WE got a NASTY email back from the principal about how it was unnecessary to threaten someone who had been such an upstanding community member and volunteer in our school, etc. It was a glowing review of her amazing personality. Needless to say I was not impressed. FINALLY about 3 days before we needed the money she shows up at the school and leaves it there for us. In a shoe box. Almost $4000. Fine. We go to the bank and explain everything and ask what we need to do to get the account. They then proceed to tell us it is over $5000 in the red. She had bounced checks all over town, and lord knows how much cash she had taken out of her shoebox. We confronted the principal, because we were minus $2k and this was really a concern. He Then defended her again and had the school cover the costs. Found out later they were all family friends, she had just been hired as a parapro for the school and that he was pissed off at US for looking for ways to make her look bad. So. Moral of the story for me? Don't say a word. Unless you think it will benefit you in some way, or unless you KNOW or WITNESSED her stealing money from this group, keep your google sleuthing to yourself. *W*O*W I used to be on the PTA board and DH was treasurer. If you were to speak to your local PTA chapter, they would go after her. She violated a LOT of bylaws just what little you shared. That's crazy!
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