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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jun 21, 2015 13:22:14 GMT
that you wish you never knew? I googled a mom from my daughter's theatre club because I wanted to know what school she worked at. (The school I am on the board was looking for a vice principal and I was going to ask her if she knew anyone) I looked at her Facebook page (we are FB friends), and went to the website of the school I thought she worked at and she wasn't mentioned. So I googled her name and the school district I thought she worked for. (Edit to add: I couldn't find that she currently works at any school, though I am sure she told me she was a VP at one of the local high schools) What I found was a mug shot and a story about her being arrested for shop lifting, and she was charged with returning stolen goods for money. I was shocked. This happened 5 years ago, long before I knew her. Then I wanted to know what happened, while there is numerous mentions of her arrest there is nothing I can find on line about the outcome of the case. This is where I have a bit of a dilemma, at the last show we were working together selling tickets and candy etc. This woman was extremely protective of the money. I started off with the cash box. I handed it to her at one point and she would not give it back.. she was a bit over protective of it. Which I thought was a bit odd, but she is really good friends with the owner of the studio, so I just thought she was being protective. But now that I know this bit of her history there is a part of me that wonders if I should say something to the owner of the studio? As they are good friends my gut says just keep the information to myself. Curious as to what the peas would do... I do feel like a Real Housewife.. they are always googling mug shots of each other!  |
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Post by pmm on Jun 21, 2015 13:26:22 GMT
That is quit the dilemma. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation.
But, to answer your first question...I had a friend tell me that her husband was into porn. I had a hard time being around him knowing that.
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Post by pmm on Jun 21, 2015 13:26:32 GMT
Double post. Not sure how that happened.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jun 21, 2015 13:35:45 GMT
That is quit the dilemma. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. But, to answer your first question...I had a friend tell me that her husband was into porn. I had a hard time being around him knowing that. Its hard not to look at someone differently when you find out something that seems out of character. Though I would be surprised if most of the men I knew weren't into Porn! |
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Post by hop2 on Jun 21, 2015 13:36:09 GMT
I think I'd keep my eyes open and my mouth shut for now. You said the owner knows her well, and an arrest is not a conviction. So I wouldn't be talking about it to anyone.
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Post by rainangel on Jun 21, 2015 13:36:42 GMT
Recently found out a friend is a Holocaust denier (I wrote a post on it here a few days ago). I just don't know how to deal with that friend anymore.
It is quite the predicament you are in OP. Do you tell the director, and cast suspicion even though she might have changed her ways? Or do you NOT say anything and risk her stealing from it and then be in the great position of knowing you could have done something and didn't. I do find it od that you couldn't find any info on what school she is working at. Was she lying about being a VP?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 0:18:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2015 13:36:57 GMT
Yes, and no Googling required. I seem to have one of those faces that says, "Confess to me." People - sometimes that I don't even know well - often share these outrageous personal things with me. This happened recently - regarding cheating - and I really wish the person didn't tell me.
In your situation, I know what I would do, which is keep it to myself. I have found the term "kill the messenger" exists for a reason.
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Post by christine58 on Jun 21, 2015 13:37:22 GMT
I'd mind my own business. She knows that anyone can google her name and get her mug shot. Maybe she got a plea deal.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,615
Member is Online
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jun 21, 2015 13:39:06 GMT
MYOB. Everyone deserves a second chance.
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095 
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Post by raindancer on Jun 21, 2015 13:39:54 GMT
I don't know what you should do. I would keep it to myself. Here is my little story:
I joined the PTA when my dd started school. The next year I became the VP and there was a lot of turbulence over the new group of parents, because the old board wanted to change the rules so they could stay on as the board. Even the president who had no more children in elementary school was furious that we insisted they step down and we have a new election per the by laws.
So then the treasurer *refused* to give us the money. The president and I asked her repeatedly when we could meet at the bank to turn over the account starting in May. We are a year round school so we needed the money squared away for back to school night in the second week of July.
By the end of June she still would not turn over the money. I emailed her the rules from the national PTA and told her she had to turn over the money. I copied our principal. I sent him a private email that she would not cooperate. He ignored it.
The first week of July the president and I wrote a stern note threatening legal action against her if she did not meet us and turn over the bank account. In return WE got a NASTY email back from the principal about how it was unnecessary to threaten someone who had been such an upstanding community member and volunteer in our school, etc. It was a glowing review of her amazing personality. Needless to say I was not impressed. FINALLY about 3 days before we needed the money she shows up at the school and leaves it there for us. In a shoe box. Almost $4000. Fine. We go to the bank and explain everything and ask what we need to do to get the account. They then proceed to tell us it is over $5000 in the red. She had bounced checks all over town, and lord knows how much cash she had taken out of her shoebox. We confronted the principal, because we were minus $2k and this was really a concern. He Then defended her again and had the school cover the costs. Found out later they were all family friends, she had just been hired as a parapro for the school and that he was pissed off at US for looking for ways to make her look bad.
So.
Moral of the story for me? Don't say a word. Unless you think it will benefit you in some way, or unless you KNOW or WITNESSED her stealing money from this group, keep your google sleuthing to yourself.
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Post by hop2 on Jun 21, 2015 13:43:56 GMT
Maybe the arrest was all a mistake, if she wasn't convicted then she might be innocent. Especially if it was just once. Just a thought.
Ps this is why I refuse to return gifts from a certain relative, if there's no gift receipt and it doesn't fit we write a thank you and donate it. Otherwise I might be arrested for returning stolen goods.
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Post by gailoh on Jun 21, 2015 13:49:17 GMT
WOW, raindancer, with that maybe going up the chain is called for,Superintendent or higher maybe? Misuse of funds, sounds illegal to me.
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gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
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Post by gloryjoy on Jun 21, 2015 13:55:01 GMT
I found out that person A used to work with person B. They don't know each other, I don't mix them together. They are both family, but on opposite sides, if that makes sense.
Person B told me that person A was not well liked at work, was constantly in trouble and ended up getting fired.
I have never told anyone but my husband. Kept my mouth shut and minded my own business. I would rather have not known because it makes me look at person A differently now.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jun 21, 2015 14:06:14 GMT
I would keep my mouth shut but I would also make sure from here on out I'm never in a spot where her and I would be sharing any type of money handling responsibilites together again. Sorry, but you need to protect yourself just in case.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jun 21, 2015 14:11:59 GMT
Recently found out a friend is a Holocaust denier (I wrote a post on it here a few days ago). I just don't know how to deal with that friend anymore. It is quite the predicament you are in OP. Do you tell the director, and cast suspicion even though she might have changed her ways? Or do you NOT say anything and risk her stealing from it and then be in the great position of knowing you could have done something and didn't. I do find it od that you couldn't find any info on what school she is working at. Was she lying about being a VP? No, she wasn't lying about being a VP. She was a VP at the school I thought she worked at when she was arrested. she is not there anymore. So I could have misunderstood, she could have said she used to work there. Giving her the benefit of the doubt. |
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jun 21, 2015 14:14:14 GMT
I don't know what you should do. I would keep it to myself. Here is my little story: I joined the PTA when my dd started school. The next year I became the VP and there was a lot of turbulence over the new group of parents, because the old board wanted to change the rules so they could stay on as the board. Even the president who had no more children in elementary school was furious that we insisted they step down and we have a new election per the by laws. So then the treasurer *refused* to give us the money. The president and I asked her repeatedly when we could meet at the bank to turn over the account starting in May. We are a year round school so we needed the money squared away for back to school night in the second week of July. By the end of June she still would not turn over the money. I emailed her the rules from the national PTA and told her she had to turn over the money. I copied our principal. I sent him a private email that she would not cooperate. He ignored it. The first week of July the president and I wrote a stern note threatening legal action against her if she did not meet us and turn over the bank account. In return WE got a NASTY email back from the principal about how it was unnecessary to threaten someone who had been such an upstanding community member and volunteer in our school, etc. It was a glowing review of her amazing personality. Needless to say I was not impressed. FINALLY about 3 days before we needed the money she shows up at the school and leaves it there for us. In a shoe box. Almost $4000. Fine. We go to the bank and explain everything and ask what we need to do to get the account. They then proceed to tell us it is over $5000 in the red. She had bounced checks all over town, and lord knows how much cash she had taken out of her shoebox. We confronted the principal, because we were minus $2k and this was really a concern. He Then defended her again and had the school cover the costs. Found out later they were all family friends, she had just been hired as a parapro for the school and that he was pissed off at US for looking for ways to make her look bad. So. Moral of the story for me? Don't say a word. Unless you think it will benefit you in some way, or unless you KNOW or WITNESSED her stealing money from this group, keep your google sleuthing to yourself. WOW that is quite a story. You would think there would be better checks and balances in place. |
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Post by craftsbycarolyn on Jun 21, 2015 14:17:10 GMT
This is where I have a bit of a dilemma, at the last show we were working together selling tickets and candy etc. This woman was extremely protective of the money. I started off with the cash box. I handed it to her at one point and she would not give it back.. she was a bit over protective of it. Which I thought was a bit odd, but she is really good friends with the owner of the studio, so I just thought she was being protective. I would be afraid money would come up missing and I might get the blame for it...I would never put myself in the position of working with her again. |
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jun 21, 2015 14:17:32 GMT
Maybe the arrest was all a mistake, if she wasn't convicted then she might be innocent. Especially if it was just once. Just a thought. Ps this is why I refuse to return gifts from a certain relative, if there's no gift receipt and it doesn't fit we write a thank you and donate it. Otherwise I might be arrested for returning stolen goods. Right, its shocking about this person. She is the last person I would expect to hear this from. One thing I hate is that the arrest is out there.. it was covered by all the news organizations, but nothing about the outcome so she could have been found innocent, charges could have been dropped, or she could have plea bargained. If she is innocent, imagine how bad that would be to have this floating around so anyone can easily find it? |
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,229
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Jun 21, 2015 14:18:24 GMT
I would keep my mouth shut but I would also make sure from here on out I'm never in a spot where her and I would be sharing any type of money handling responsibilites together again. Sorry, but you need to protect yourself just in case. I agree. I would never want to be tied to any money she was connected to. |
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Post by anonrefugee on Jun 21, 2015 14:18:58 GMT
Since you couldn't find an outcome of her arrest there's the possibility that's all it is, no conviction. Maybe there was a mistake or misunderstanding, who knows? That would cause me to very protective of any cash I was managing!!!
If the person arranging her to be in charge is her good friend, I'd assume they know. And since that friend is the owner, benefitting from the sales, I would assume she's done her own investigation.
If it's that visible by googling then other people probably know too. But I suppose some might feel they need to tell what they've learned. There's one in every crowd.
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Post by vspindler on Jun 21, 2015 14:21:03 GMT
I found out a while back that a coworker was a registered sex offender due to solicitation of a minor (not one of those 18 yr old boyfriend situations either). I am glad we no longer work together!
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
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Post by raindancer on Jun 21, 2015 14:21:27 GMT
I don't know what you should do. I would keep it to myself. Here is my little story: I joined the PTA when my dd started school. The next year I became the VP and there was a lot of turbulence over the new group of parents, because the old board wanted to change the rules so they could stay on as the board. Even the president who had no more children in elementary school was furious that we insisted they step down and we have a new election per the by laws. So then the treasurer *refused* to give us the money. The president and I asked her repeatedly when we could meet at the bank to turn over the account starting in May. We are a year round school so we needed the money squared away for back to school night in the second week of July. By the end of June she still would not turn over the money. I emailed her the rules from the national PTA and told her she had to turn over the money. I copied our principal. I sent him a private email that she would not cooperate. He ignored it. The first week of July the president and I wrote a stern note threatening legal action against her if she did not meet us and turn over the bank account. In return WE got a NASTY email back from the principal about how it was unnecessary to threaten someone who had been such an upstanding community member and volunteer in our school, etc. It was a glowing review of her amazing personality. Needless to say I was not impressed. FINALLY about 3 days before we needed the money she shows up at the school and leaves it there for us. In a shoe box. Almost $4000. Fine. We go to the bank and explain everything and ask what we need to do to get the account. They then proceed to tell us it is over $5000 in the red. She had bounced checks all over town, and lord knows how much cash she had taken out of her shoebox. We confronted the principal, because we were minus $2k and this was really a concern. He Then defended her again and had the school cover the costs. Found out later they were all family friends, she had just been hired as a parapro for the school and that he was pissed off at US for looking for ways to make her look bad. So. Moral of the story for me? Don't say a word. Unless you think it will benefit you in some way, or unless you KNOW or WITNESSED her stealing money from this group, keep your google sleuthing to yourself. WOW that is quite a story. You would think there would be better checks and balances in place. Well there ARE, but it's easy to circumvent them if no one is going to hold anyone else accountable. the red flag should have been the entire board not wanting to follow the by laws and have a new board. lesson learned! |
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 21, 2015 14:32:01 GMT
I don't know what you should do. I would keep it to myself. Here is my little story: I joined the PTA when my dd started school. The next year I became the VP and there was a lot of turbulence over the new group of parents, because the old board wanted to change the rules so they could stay on as the board. Even the president who had no more children in elementary school was furious that we insisted they step down and we have a new election per the by laws. So then the treasurer *refused* to give us the money. The president and I asked her repeatedly when we could meet at the bank to turn over the account starting in May. We are a year round school so we needed the money squared away for back to school night in the second week of July. By the end of June she still would not turn over the money. I emailed her the rules from the national PTA and told her she had to turn over the money. I copied our principal. I sent him a private email that she would not cooperate. He ignored it. The first week of July the president and I wrote a stern note threatening legal action against her if she did not meet us and turn over the bank account. In return WE got a NASTY email back from the principal about how it was unnecessary to threaten someone who had been such an upstanding community member and volunteer in our school, etc. It was a glowing review of her amazing personality. Needless to say I was not impressed. FINALLY about 3 days before we needed the money she shows up at the school and leaves it there for us. In a shoe box. Almost $4000. Fine. We go to the bank and explain everything and ask what we need to do to get the account. They then proceed to tell us it is over $5000 in the red. She had bounced checks all over town, and lord knows how much cash she had taken out of her shoebox. We confronted the principal, because we were minus $2k and this was really a concern. He Then defended her again and had the school cover the costs. Found out later they were all family friends, she had just been hired as a parapro for the school and that he was pissed off at US for looking for ways to make her look bad. So. Moral of the story for me? Don't say a word. Unless you think it will benefit you in some way, or unless you KNOW or WITNESSED her stealing money from this group, keep your google sleuthing to yourself. damn, seriously you guys should have gone to the police and the school board. That is theft and I would be super pissed as a parent. |
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Post by tripletmom on Jun 21, 2015 14:32:43 GMT
I would keep my mouth shut but I would also make sure from here on out I'm never in a spot where her and I would be sharing any type of money handling responsibilites together again. Sorry, but you need to protect yourself just in case. This is what I was going to say too. |
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Post by anonrefugee on Jun 21, 2015 14:35:56 GMT
raindancer a PTA treasurer like that was reported to the police in our district, and investigated. Can you do that? I
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raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
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Post by raindancer on Jun 21, 2015 14:37:49 GMT
I don't know what you should do. I would keep it to myself. Here is my little story: I joined the PTA when my dd started school. The next year I became the VP and there was a lot of turbulence over the new group of parents, because the old board wanted to change the rules so they could stay on as the board. Even the president who had no more children in elementary school was furious that we insisted they step down and we have a new election per the by laws. So then the treasurer *refused* to give us the money. The president and I asked her repeatedly when we could meet at the bank to turn over the account starting in May. We are a year round school so we needed the money squared away for back to school night in the second week of July. By the end of June she still would not turn over the money. I emailed her the rules from the national PTA and told her she had to turn over the money. I copied our principal. I sent him a private email that she would not cooperate. He ignored it. The first week of July the president and I wrote a stern note threatening legal action against her if she did not meet us and turn over the bank account. In return WE got a NASTY email back from the principal about how it was unnecessary to threaten someone who had been such an upstanding community member and volunteer in our school, etc. It was a glowing review of her amazing personality. Needless to say I was not impressed. FINALLY about 3 days before we needed the money she shows up at the school and leaves it there for us. In a shoe box. Almost $4000. Fine. We go to the bank and explain everything and ask what we need to do to get the account. They then proceed to tell us it is over $5000 in the red. She had bounced checks all over town, and lord knows how much cash she had taken out of her shoebox. We confronted the principal, because we were minus $2k and this was really a concern. He Then defended her again and had the school cover the costs. Found out later they were all family friends, she had just been hired as a parapro for the school and that he was pissed off at US for looking for ways to make her look bad. So. Moral of the story for me? Don't say a word. Unless you think it will benefit you in some way, or unless you KNOW or WITNESSED her stealing money from this group, keep your google sleuthing to yourself. damn, seriously you guys should have gone to the police and the school board. That is theft and I would be super pissed as a parent. Well the issue was there was no evidence of theft since she said it was all the money and no one had been second counter after our main event that brought in the cash. It's been almost a decade ago now, in hindsight I might have taken it further, but ultimately I just left the board and then we ended up leaving the school. They got a new board that had a money system in place, with audits, etc. so when I handed it over it was clean and I was just happy to walk away. |
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on Jun 21, 2015 15:26:35 GMT
I don't understand.
You wanted a recommendation/information from her. Considering the situation you must have a way of getting a phone number or have a time that you know you will be seeing her so why not just ask her in person?
Why the google investigation?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 0:18:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2015 15:34:15 GMT
You said you're Facebook friends with her, so I don't understand why you didn't just send her a message asking for the info you needed.
As for the question, keep it to yourself.
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Post by melanell on Jun 21, 2015 15:40:44 GMT
I wouldn't say anything. You don't have all of the facts and people should have a chance to redeem themselves.
As for the cash box, I really think that it is prudent for only one person to be in charge of the cash. It makes it less messy if anything goes awry. Whether or not she did or did not do anything wrong back then, I would imagine that the fear of being accused of a wrong-doing, possibly incorrectly, would make her super-protective of any money she is in charge of, kwim?
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Post by peasapie on Jun 21, 2015 15:46:23 GMT
Why didn't you just send her a message on Facebook to ask her for recommendations?
The problem with googling someone is that none of us are the screen shot people might find if they searched us online. She may have been arrested, but that's far from charged and guilty. Conversely, there are a lot of creeps who look fine on google search.
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