If you are estranged from some members of your family

I anticipate that after my FIL dies, my dh will probably not speak to his siblings again. (There are other family members we are in closer relationship with on his side -- aunts, uncles, and cousins.) He is not estranged from his siblings, per se, but has no emotional connection to them. At all. His one sister is a BSC-level drama queen and we avoid speaking to her now, if at all possible and he's looking forward to the day when he has no reason to maintain contact and also believes -- correctly, IMO -- that when his father dies, she is going to cause all sorts of problems over the estate that will lead to estrangement.

He simply has nothing in common with the others, who live small town lives and have no interest in us since we no longer live in that small town. We've tried to maintain relationships with them, but they are simply uninterested. One brother said that he really had no interest in people he couldn't see on a daily basis. So that's that. We both assume that we will probably never hear from them again after his father dies and that he'll just send flowers when they die.

It's sad, but in a very distant sort of way since we had decades to get used to the lack of connection after we moved away and became so much rubbish in their lives.

Family issues here too. At my father's funeral, one of my brothers kept us waiting for lunch and would not join us for dinner. We were very hurt and felt that SIL was making it about her. I wondered if I would ever see him again.

After seven years, he came to see me, and we talk occasionally. What changed? I had always known more about family illnesses. He had cancer, and was honest enough to talk to me and also our brother. Many hard feelings are still there, but there's hope for the kids who grew up together.

dh hasn't spoken to his father in over 20 years. In the rare circumstance where we are at a same event, father says nothing! Few years back for whatever reason dh decided he would invite father to breakfast so they could talk. I'm not entirely certain what he was looking to see or hear, but he walked away saying he'd changed none in the last 20 years and it was a poor me sob story. Needless to say he hasn't invited him out again.

peasapie brings up something I sometimes think about. I'd be willing to bet dh would go to his father's wake. But I find that kind of strange in the sense that if you don't care to see them while they are here, why then? Father has been hospitalized and dh will get that info through his brother if it's a serious situation and he's never chosen to go to the hospital. So would you find it strange in that case if they went to the wake? The things I ponder some days, lol.

DH and his sister are completely, long term estranged from one sib. The fourth keeps minimal contact with the estranged one.

After 25. years of watching it I feel sorry for them. There wasn't a single incident, but a gradual separation. The separated one kept his own mother at a distance.

It's sad. I've told DH to call, make plans, we will pass they their town soon. But DH knows it will be viewed as apology for something he doesn't know about and gloating will happen.

They're all in AARP zone yet act like they're ten. Baffling.

ETA the siblings are all quite normal people- respectable even. MIL didn't like the spouse much, although she's normal too from my experience. I had enough interaction to like her, go to lunch and meet her normal friends.

I really don't get it.

I hope not.  I'm not even sure I'll get word when my father passes away.  Sad, for sure.  But I haven't had a "father" in a very long time.  The father I once loved died many years ago. 

I am estranged from an aunt. She's a total narcissist and I cut ties with her when my grandmother died. She was at my sister's wedding and we spoke briefly. That was four years ago and I don't plan to see her again. I won't attend her funeral when that time comes. I'm not likely to be a welcome guest there, either, so I'll spare myself the drama. When I was younger, I really tried to deal with her for the same of my mom's memory and my grandmother, but now it's just not worth it.

I am from my middle brother.  We had a pretty big fight last week about our aging mom and how her care should proceed...he sees selling her house and moving her to a facility as the first course of action, but my other brother and I think it should be the LAST course of action.  She is still relatively healthy and could get by for quite a while with in-home care a couple of hours a day and arranged rides to doctor appointments.  I think she is years away from having to look at selling her home.

He truly lost his freaking mind when we would not agree with him and stormed off in a massive huff.  We have not spoken since, and probably won't for quite some time. It's sad because we used to be close, but the older he gets the more arrogant, selfish and unbending he's becoming. 

My dad is estranged from most of his side of the family. I have never met several people on that side of the family and haven't seen my uncle since I was about 3 years old. It has not made any sort of impact on my life and if I were to come across one of them on the street I probably wouldn't know who they were. I am closer to my friends who I have chosen to be my family than people I share a bloodline with.

I have been estranged from my oldest brother for 34 years. I hope I never see him again. I doubt I will. He didn't show up when my parents died (he knew there was no moey in it for him)- and I can't imagine what might motivate him to contact any of us. I believe he is a sociopath. There's more wrong with him than that- but that's the core issue that estranged him from our family. My mother, sister and younger brother tried to give him a chance to redeem himself about 15 years ago- maybe more- and in pretty short order let them know he had not changed. My older brother, Dad and I didn't get involved in that and were relieved when it was all over.

I haven't had contact with my younger brother for several years (4?) due to a problem with his wife. I don't actually have a problem with him and we make small talk on the rare occasion we see each other, but it's awkward due to the problem with his wife. It was one of those situations where bad behavior and hurt feelings had simmered for many years and I pushed things aside to keep the peace. Every time I pushed things aside, it seemed to give her license to get bolder the next time. I finally said enough is enough and stepped back. No argument, no confrontation- just stepped away. She's responsible for the current situation. She owes me an apology. She knows it. She obviously doesn't feel compelled to give it. And I'm done letting things go- so there we are. Will we ever speak again? Probably. But too much time has gone by for things to return to 'normal'.

My husband has little contact with his siblings. They are scattered all over the country- but even when they weren't, we didn't have much contact with them. The couple of times a year we'd get together fell by the wayside after my MIL died. He's good with them on the rare occasion he sees them- except for one sister. There's a big problem with her and it is unlikely he will see her again. I never will, that's for sure.

My brother just ripped me off for $500,000 or so. Yup knew this would happen.

When your mother tells you your children aren't her real grandchildren, there is no need to carry on a relationship.

No.

I have one brother that I haven't talked to in probably 6 years and a sister that I've intentionally limited my contact with since our mom died almost 4 years ago. She is the executor of mom's estate (and STILL isn't done distributing the final assets, all of which she has in her possession and could easily do). I'm not kidding you, the MINUTE I get the rest of my stuff will likely be the last time I set eyes on her or talk to her.

My brother royally jacked us on a business deal that ended up costing us $XXXXX. I warned DH that he was a total flaker but he was showing DH his good side and DH believed all his BS so they went forward. Then brother backed out of the deal halfway through leaving us completely in the lurch and on the hook for a bunch of money. Yeah, nice. As far as I'm concerned, he's already dead to me. He also never bothered to go see our mom even one time in the last ten years of her life because he was too self absorbed to bother with a failing old woman. He's a loser.

My sister stirred up a heap of trouble in the last few years mom was alive and caused more problems than she helped solve, making what was already an emotional and stressful situation even more so. She is a self absorbed jerk, but she's so busy always playing the victim card that she doesn't realize how much of a jerk she herself is. Her husband and kids are all like that too, getting into mess after mess and then looking around for anyone else to pass blame onto.

The bottom line for me is that since we've (mostly) cut off contact with those two life has been a whole lot calmer and so much less drama, and honestly I like it better this way. I can't imagine ever voluntarily inviting that hot mess back into my life. No, thank you. Living well is the best revenge!

Any chance of my brother ever seeing my family ever again was eliminated when he didn't attend my dad's funeral. Fu¢k him.

yes, I do on my namesake side on my adoped dad side as well as biological. It gets long and complicated.
But this weekend we had a wedding of one of my cousins on my namesake side. My sister and my SIL went with me. We decided to use the buddy system so my 'dad' couldn't corner us as he's been known to do before in years past. It's been probably 20 years or more since I've seen my cousin that got married but I was very close to her and her mom growning up. The rest of the family not so much. So I wasn't sure how it would go. She sent me message over Facebook a few months ago and asked if I could come but I knew I probably wouldn't as the space and time and I live in a different state, 'my dad drama'and being in a different place etcc... but would love to see me. So I thought I would surprise them and come. I also had a family reunion on Dh 's side that same weekend. It was crazy but it all worked out . I nearly threw up in the parking lot when we got there but once we got there and saw my aunts and some of my favorite cousins who I was very close too, it wasn't so bad and I even did talk to my 'dad' with my sister. It didn't seem like that much time had passed.We left with no strings attatched too- so that was nice too no expectations and no obligations. I have my favorite ones on face book

My mother.

I would love to have a mom, but not her. She was never capable of being a mom for more than a week or so. I never plan on seeing her again. Because I don't have a relationship with her the survivng relatives on her side have cut me out. It's okay though.