|
|
Post by melodyesch on Jul 15, 2014 14:45:36 GMT
Today is my birthday. My siblings and their spouses have all either texted or called to send happy birthday wishes. As an adult, that's really all that is needed to make me happy. But on DH's side, we exchange birthday gifts with his sister and BIL. Since it's just the 4 of us and it's sometimes a gift card, I suggested that we each just save our money and just call on birthdays. We have no kids, but of course would still buy for my niece. My SIL WOULD NOT hear of it. She LOVES getting gifts, even if it's a gift card.
The problem (if you can call it that), is that she is either seriously late or gives a gift that makes you scratch your head. Last year, my birthday gift was 2 months late and it was a Mickey Mouse watch. We had already had a conversation about how I don't ever wear a watch, but they were at Disney after that and I guess she thought that would be an exception. My DH's (her brother's) birthday is in March. She gave him a birthday card and gift card week before last when she dropped off my niece at our house to go with us on vacation. So almost 4 months late. She didn't call on his actual birthday.
When she picked niece up Sunday, she had a gift for me. A $50 gift card to Burberry. She said she knew I liked purses. But she obviously walked into Burberry without looking at ANYTHING, as the purses there start at about $1200. My DH had a conversation with her in the fall about how he wanted to buy me an umbrella for Christmas from there since I like that traditional brown plaid, but the one he saw in the window was $700 and that's how he knew that wasn't a store in which we would ever be able to afford to shop. They do have cosmetics, so I can get a lip gloss for around $30.
So I think after this year of gift giving (her b'day and BIL's are still upcoming), I'm going to insist on stopping the madness. Really, shouldn't an acknowledgment of some sort ON your birthday be enough for an adult sibling?
|
|
grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
|
Post by grinningcat on Jul 15, 2014 14:48:42 GMT
Yes. We definitely do gifts for adult siblings. Just because a person is an adult doesn't mean that they are not worthy of being gifted and appreciated on their birthday. Not directed at you, but I am so tired of the "adults can't have any fun or do anything for their birthdays because birthdays are only for kids" thing that seems to go around here. I don't understand why people think that being an adult can only be dreary and celebrating things with gifts is such a bad thing. Sorry, rant over.
|
|
|
|
Post by ntsf on Jul 15, 2014 14:50:34 GMT
we don't even do presents at christmas...and may call on a birthday or may not. we just aren't all into it. and I may not see my siblings for a couple of years at a time...we live far apart.
|
|
eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
|
Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 15, 2014 14:54:36 GMT
We give gifts on my side. We don't give adult gifts on my husband's side unless there is a party because it's a milestone birthday. Sibling gifts come out of my spending money because my husband doesn't understand that it is important to us. Lately, gifts have not been given/received in a timely fashion.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 11:24:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2014 14:56:00 GMT
No, we do exchange birthday greetings, but we all live far apart and don't do gifts. Maybe if we lived near each other, it would be different.
|
|
VicsterPEI
Junior Member
Posts: 65 
|
Post by VicsterPEI on Jul 15, 2014 14:56:37 GMT
We just text or call. We don't do Christmas gifts either - just to the nieces and nephews.
|
|
|
|
Post by cmpeter on Jul 15, 2014 14:56:47 GMT
My sister and I just talk, we don't exchange gifts. Dh and his three siblings take each other out to dinner. Two of the siblings live in Chicago, so sometimes the dinner is a little delayed. But, Dh ends up there for work 4-5 times a year and they do their dinner when he's out there. His other sister lives very close.
|
|
|
|
Post by theboydbunch on Jul 15, 2014 14:58:42 GMT
My sisters and I always exchange gifts for both Christmas and birthdays. My family (parents, spouses, kids) get together for dinner to celebrate each person's bday and that's usually when the gifts are exchanged. Birthdays are still a big deal with us  My husband does not do this with his siblings. He will text them happy birthday but that may be it; they never exchanged Christmas gifts since we've been together, (22 years) either. Every family is different I guess. |
|
|
|
Post by Miss Ang on Jul 15, 2014 15:00:41 GMT
We do not do gifts for either my sister or dh's brothers; just a call or a text or maybe a card. As a matter of fact, he and one brother don't even bother to tell each other happy birthday. It isn't that they have a problem with each other, they just aren't close at all.
|
|
anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
|
Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 15, 2014 15:02:48 GMT
Always. But nothing ridiculously extravagant.
|
|
|
|
Post by melodyesch on Jul 15, 2014 15:05:26 GMT
Yes. We definitely do gifts for adult siblings. Just because a person is an adult doesn't mean that they are not worthy of being gifted and appreciated on their birthday. Not directed at you, but I am so tired of the "adults can't have any fun or do anything for their birthdays because birthdays are only for kids" thing that seems to go around here. I don't understand why people think that being an adult can only be dreary and celebrating things with gifts is such a bad thing. Sorry, rant over. I get that. I really do. And I think it would be different if there was some sort of celebration that actually DID make the person feel special about their birthday. Getting no acknowledgment ON your birthday and then getting a gift months later doesn't do that. My brothers and SILs calling and texting ON my birthday means a whole lot more to me than NO acknowledgment on my birthday with gifts being received months later. If in your family the adults are all treated the same and an effort is made to actually celebrate and make a big deal out of birthdays on or around the date with gifts, then that's really great. |
|
luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,067
|
Post by luckyexwife on Jul 15, 2014 15:05:33 GMT
We do gifts on my side with my three siblings. Between the 4 of us, there are 8 kids (so far) and we do family birthday parties 4 or 5 times a year and we celebrate the kids and adults. We have fun with it, and we all like it.
We used to exchange with DH's 4 siblings, until DHs brother's wife ruined it (nothing was ever good enough, etc).
|
|
IAmUnoriginal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
|
Post by IAmUnoriginal on Jul 15, 2014 15:06:47 GMT
We do fun little gifts with my two brothers and my sister-in-law. It's always less than $20, but we do take our time finding things that fit each person. Three of our birthdays are within a week of Christmas so we keep it cheap. We call/text/Facebook and send a card, too. We also do our 1/2 birthday camping trip each June for the neglected December babies  (bro1, sil, niece and me). DH's family calls/texts between the sibilings. They don't send cards or do gifts for birthdays or Christmas. DHs parents send cards, but the siblings don't. If Facebook didn't remind them, I don't think they'd even remember each other's birthdays. |
|
|
|
Post by Outspoken on Jul 15, 2014 15:07:21 GMT
We do not do adult gifts for birthday or Christmas. The exception being our mothers (grandmothers to our children). We do buy gifts for all the children on both occasions and we all text or call on birthdays.
For us, it has all become too commercialized and we enjoy the sentiment more than the gifts.
ETA: we would also buy for our fathers (grandfathers). However, both are now deceased.
|
|
paigepea
Drama Llama
Enter your message here...
Posts: 5,609
Location: BC, Canada
Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
|
Post by paigepea on Jul 15, 2014 15:14:02 GMT
We do something small with dh's side. I bought SIL a book for her birthday two weeks ago. My sis and I just call, but do a little bit more then just a book on special birthdays, like a higher g/c to a spa.
P.
|
|
akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
|
Post by akathy on Jul 15, 2014 15:16:48 GMT
Yes. We definitely do gifts for adult siblings. Just because a person is an adult doesn't mean that they are not worthy of being gifted and appreciated on their birthday. Not directed at you, but I am so tired of the "adults can't have any fun or do anything for their birthdays because birthdays are only for kids" thing that seems to go around here. I don't understand why people think that being an adult can only be dreary and celebrating things with gifts is such a bad thing. Sorry, rant over. I don't believe birthdays are only for kids but I also don't find getting gifts fun at all. I'm extremely hard to buy for and I hate when people waste their money on things I will just get rid of anyway. I like being acknowledged and celebrated on my birthday but a gift just doesn't do it for me. There are a whole lot of ways to celebrate without a gift. If gifts are your thing that's well and good but I don't understand why you would think those of us who don't like gifts are just dreary and you can't seem to accept the fact that there are those of us who truly do not like receiving gifts. Some people like guacamole and some people don't. It's the same thing. Back to the OP, no, my siblings and I do not do birthday gifts. |
|
|
|
Post by kkooch on Jul 15, 2014 15:17:24 GMT
My two sisters and I exchange gifts but not with my brother. He doesn't like to spend money on anyone but himself.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 11:24:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2014 15:17:39 GMT
We do not. We live in different states and are rarely in person together, which makes it difficult to know what each of us already has. We used to exchange gifts, but it was basically an exchange of gift cards, which we all agreed was silly. So, we stopped. We do acknowledge birthdays - cards, calls, etc. - but no more gifting. We all like it better this way.
|
|
|
|
Post by maryland on Jul 15, 2014 15:19:28 GMT
No. We don't get each other gifts for birthday and Christmas. We all have kids, so we get small gifts for the kids, but not for each other.
|
|
|
|
Post by kimpossible on Jul 15, 2014 15:20:44 GMT
Just cards and a phone call. We have always put our kids first so when they were all little we would buy for each others kids. Now that everyone is getting up in their adult years we have stopped doing that.
|
|
|
|
Post by giatocj on Jul 15, 2014 15:21:20 GMT
No. I doubt my two brothers even know when my birthday is  . Birthdays have NEVER been big in my family. |
|
oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
|
Post by oldcrow on Jul 15, 2014 15:21:43 GMT
No we do not do birthday presents but we send cards and sometimes call. The family is spread far apart now and mailing gifts would be a pain.
When the whole family used to get together at my parents at Christmas we would draw names but that no longer happens. We are a very large family so to buy gifts for everyone would be expensive.
Until my parents passed away we did buy for them.
|
|
|
|
Post by maryland on Jul 15, 2014 15:24:13 GMT
Yes. We definitely do gifts for adult siblings. Just because a person is an adult doesn't mean that they are not worthy of being gifted and appreciated on their birthday. Not directed at you, but I am so tired of the "adults can't have any fun or do anything for their birthdays because birthdays are only for kids" thing that seems to go around here. I don't understand why people think that being an adult can only be dreary and celebrating things with gifts is such a bad thing. Sorry, rant over. I don't believe birthdays are only for kids but I also don't find getting gifts fun at all. I'm extremely hard to buy for and I hate when people waste their money on things I will just get rid of anyway. I like being acknowledged and celebrated on my birthday but a gift just doesn't do it for me. There are a whole lot of ways to celebrate without a gift. If gifts are your thing that's well and good but I don't understand why you would think those of us who don't like gifts are just dreary and you can't seem to accept the fact that there are those of us who truly do not like receiving gifts. Some people like guacamole and some people don't. It's the same thing. Back to the OP, no, my siblings and I do not do birthday gifts. I feel the same way akathy. I am so hard to buy for (I have trouble even buying for myself) and I stink at buying gifts for others. I am perfectly happy with a phone call to wish me a Happy Birthday! If a friend or family member likes gifts, I am happy to try my best to pick them out a gift (or better, send my husband because he is great with picking out gifts). We live out of state too, so it's easiest for us all to just call on birthdays. |
|
|
|
Post by sisterbdsq on Jul 15, 2014 15:27:41 GMT
Just because a person is an adult doesn't mean that they are not worthy of being gifted and appreciated on their birthday. I don't understand why people think that being an adult can only be dreary and celebrating things with gifts is such a bad thing. Sorry, rant over. I don't think my (step) siblings aren't worthy or they deserve a dreary existence. I just don't give a f*ck about presents. Let your husband, children, or parent (I'm the only child by both of my parents) get you a present. I'll wish you a happy birthday, but we don't feel presents are necessary to enjoy the day. My dad and I don't even exchange any longer. We do something together instead. |
|
grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
|
Post by grinningcat on Jul 15, 2014 15:31:23 GMT
Yes. We definitely do gifts for adult siblings. Just because a person is an adult doesn't mean that they are not worthy of being gifted and appreciated on their birthday. Not directed at you, but I am so tired of the "adults can't have any fun or do anything for their birthdays because birthdays are only for kids" thing that seems to go around here. I don't understand why people think that being an adult can only be dreary and celebrating things with gifts is such a bad thing. Sorry, rant over. I don't believe birthdays are only for kids but I also don't find getting gifts fun at all. I'm extremely hard to buy for and I hate when people waste their money on things I will just get rid of anyway. I like being acknowledged and celebrated on my birthday but a gift just doesn't do it for me. There are a whole lot of ways to celebrate without a gift. If gifts are your thing that's well and good but I don't understand why you would think those of us who don't like gifts are just dreary and you can't seem to accept the fact that there are those of us who truly do not like receiving gifts. Some people like guacamole and some people don't. It's the same thing. Back to the OP, no, my siblings and I do not do birthday gifts. Fair enough. I guess I don't understand being difficult to buy for, or getting rid of gifts just to get rid of them, but everyone sees things differently. I guess this OP just fell under the generic "adults can't have fun" theory that seems quite prevalent at times here in this group of posters. I guess I am reacting to that previous commentary on this. I just like to have fun and gift people. I'd be heartbroken if someone hated my gesture of love towards them. |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 11:24:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2014 15:41:04 GMT
I no longer give my sister gifts for her birthday and she has followed suit. A text is enough. Sometimes lunch with her and mom also happens on her birthday. DH usually just calls his brother now. Neither one of our siblings have kids. My sister will give my boys money for their birthdays but BIL doesn't do anything. I'm not entirely sure he even knows when their birthdays are.
|
|
|
|
Post by shamrock on Jul 15, 2014 15:44:22 GMT
DH gives his brother money every gift occasion. But they are beyond broke & that's the only way BIL will accept help. We don't usually do gifts for his wife or our nephew. They've never given gifts to us or our children. I used to send something to my brother, but he seldom communicates so I've stopped that.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 11:24:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2014 15:46:28 GMT
I'm the youngest of 8 and we don't do gifts. There are just too many of us to do birthday or Christmas gifts. We all call each other on our birthdays but that's it. |
|
cjp
Shy Member
Posts: 20
|
Post by cjp on Jul 15, 2014 15:54:05 GMT
I live in the same town as one of my brothers and my sisters and their spouses - and we all exchange gifts and usually get together close to each others birthdays. My other brother lives across the country and we don't exchange (just call or text).
|
|
|
|
Post by melodyesch on Jul 15, 2014 15:56:49 GMT
No, that's not it at all! I DO think adults can have fun. We do Christmas gifts including stockings for everyone on DH's side and I do love that. We're all together and enjoy giving/receiving gifts. My DH gave me a gift last night and made breakfast for me this morning. I will get some small gifts from friends later (and I enjoy reciprocating). I absolutely think it would be fun if gifts were given on birthdays and they were celebrated. But when there is no mention of Happy Birthday on or around your birthday and your birthday card and gift/gift card are delivered months later, well, where is the fun in that? How does that make you feel fun or special on your birthday? That's the madness I'm talking about. When a gift seems like more of an obligation to eventually get something to you than to celebrate your birthday. |
|
My husband does not do this with his siblings. He will text them happy birthday but that may be it; they never exchanged Christmas gifts since we've been together, (22 years) either. Every family is different I guess.
(bro1, sil, niece and me). 
. Birthdays have NEVER been big in my family.
