Olan
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Olan on Jul 21, 2015 15:31:27 GMT
Stranger: "I love your dress"
Olan: "Thanks it was 20 bucks at Target.
Colleague: "Impressive"
Olan: "Jane & John helped"
Am I the only pea who tells white lies when someone gives me a compliment? Why can't I just say thanks? Praise makes me so uncomfortable but yesterday I got caught in a lie and it was embarrassing much more embarrassing than just receiving the praise and walking away. Gah
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MaryMary
Pearl Clutcher
Lazy
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Post by MaryMary on Jul 21, 2015 15:36:39 GMT
I totally do this, too and I don't know why. Words of affirmation are totally my thing, but then I can't just accept them like a normal human, I always try to qualify them for some reason.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,367
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Jul 21, 2015 15:38:47 GMT
I do the same thing. To the point that I often forget to say thank you because I am so busy explaining why it is/I am not worthy of the compliment.
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
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Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Jul 21, 2015 15:48:22 GMT
As little girls, we've had it drilled into us to be modest and self-effacing. If we show even the slightest impropriety in this area, then we're labeled as conceited and we none of us want to wear that. I'm trying the simple "thank you so much!" approach and adding a nice compliment in return like "and I love your hair!" Seems to be well received leaving my humility in tact.  |
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scorpeao
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Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Jul 21, 2015 15:56:26 GMT
I do the same thing and then I walk away shaking my head...why do I feel the need to tell someone how much my clothing costs when they compliment it.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jul 21, 2015 15:59:20 GMT
I would work on the personal compliments.. I do that too!
As far as colleagues... I don't think you can mention or thank people who help you enough!
Impressive
You: Thank you... I could not do my job on my own John and & Jane were great help!
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Post by cmpeter on Jul 21, 2015 16:26:15 GMT
Where was te white lie?
I am also guilty of downplaying complements. I have a pendant I bout from silver jewelry club...it was $5 and I find I always blurt that out when someone compliments me on it.
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Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea # 418
Posts: 4,218
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Post by Peamac on Jul 21, 2015 16:29:21 GMT
I totally do this, too and I don't know why. Words of affirmation are totally my thing, but then I can't just accept them like a normal human, I always try to qualify them for some reason. DH is like this, too. He always minimizes the nice things people say, but can somehow manage to focus on any negative stuff. Drives me crazy! |
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Deleted
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Apr 27, 2024 12:03:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 21, 2015 16:40:53 GMT
I'm always so taken aback by compliments all I can do is muster a laugh-y, "Oh my goodness! Thank you so much!".
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Post by padresfan619 on Jul 21, 2015 16:44:06 GMT
I try to return with a thank you and a compliment for the person who gave me one.
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DEX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,354
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Post by DEX on Jul 21, 2015 16:50:27 GMT
You guys would never last on those Real Housewives shows. Did you ever notice that whenever they greet each other it's always something like, "Oh don't you look cute". Or, "I love your purse, hair dress, whatever"  |
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Post by songbird on Jul 21, 2015 17:03:42 GMT
I used to deflect compliments, too, until one day some good friends of mine took me aside and asked why. I didn't really have a good answer, and they gently let me know that it hurts them when I don't accept the compliments gracefully and with a thank you. That forever changed my response to compliments even though I still struggle mentally to feel worthy of them!
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Deleted
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Apr 27, 2024 12:03:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 21, 2015 17:39:03 GMT
I absolutley used to do that, but I made a conscious effort to stop. Now for example, if someone says, "I like your shoes," my response is always, "Oh, thank you! That's so nice!" That way I acknowledge the compliment and make them feel good for giving it. (As opposed to my old method, which would basically be to explain all the reasons that I was unworthy of the compliment, making us both feel bad.)
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Post by papersilly on Jul 21, 2015 18:03:17 GMT
I get terribly uncomfortable with compliments too. I always feel the need to downplay them when I wish I could just be gracious and say thank you.
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wasil
Full Member
Posts: 354
Location: Iowa
Aug 3, 2014 12:59:34 GMT
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Post by wasil on Jul 21, 2015 18:38:03 GMT
I always tend to say "oh thank you! It's my favorite!" Or "it's so comfortable" or "I like it too!" All pretty dumb replies.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
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Post by georgiapea on Jul 21, 2015 18:50:51 GMT
I've had people say "You don't take a compliment well, do you?". I usually do say where I got something and probably have thrown in the price too. I really try to just say "Thank you" but sometimes my mouth takes over my brain.
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Post by Bitchy Rich on Jul 21, 2015 19:07:10 GMT
I don't do that, but I automatically look down at whatever item they are complimenting. I'm trying to break myself of that habit. I know what my shoes look like, I don't need to inspect them before I say thank you.
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Post by nurseypants on Jul 21, 2015 20:52:04 GMT
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Post by SnowWhite on Jul 21, 2015 20:56:13 GMT
I'm not understanding where the white lie is in your OP either. I always tell people where I got things, and especially when they were on clearance at Target because then the other woman and I can gush over how much we love Target. Doesn't everyone do that?
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caro
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Post by caro on Jul 21, 2015 21:06:31 GMT
I'm not understanding where the white lie is in your OP either. I always tell people where I got things, and especially when they were on clearance at Target because then the other woman and I can gush over how much we love Target. Doesn't everyone do that? I do that all the time. I'm responsible for the bulletin board outside my room at school. It's the first one everyone sees when they walk into the preschool hall. I love decorating it for the most part and usually go overboard looking on Pinterest and getting ideas, then following through with my creations. I get lot's of compliments. Sometimes it gets really embarrassing. I usually just say thanks and how much I love Pinterest. I think I'll just start saying thanks unless the idea comes from Pinterest. |
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by perumbula on Jul 21, 2015 21:47:28 GMT
I was just going to post this very same video. Hilarious. |
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Olan
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Olan on Jul 21, 2015 23:17:50 GMT
I'm not understanding where the white lie is in your OP either. I always tell people where I got things, and especially when they were on clearance at Target because then the other woman and I can gush over how much we love Target. Doesn't everyone do that? I love Target and I love a deal but the majority of the time I am lying about it being from Target AND it being on sale. Those lies no one seem to catch but when you tell your boss someone helped with a project and it was really all you THEN your boss calls in the other person to give them an "atta boy" shit gets real hairy. Luckily men will take credit for things they haven't a clue about. Though he was kind enough to send in one of his minions to ask me if she could grab my lunch last week. |
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Post by slicksister on Jul 22, 2015 0:59:04 GMT
I usually just say thank you. Oftentimes if I'm with people I know and person A compliments person B and person B deflects the compliment or something like that I will say to person B, "You know the right response is a nice Thank You, right?" Most of the time they say, "yes, you're right. Thanks for reminding me of that." Then we all have a good laugh.
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by likescarrots on Jul 22, 2015 1:13:33 GMT
Can you do it without lying? I mean there's nothing wrong with just saying thanks, but if you need to say something else, can't it just be a truthful statement? Like if someone likes your clothes "Thanks I got this top at ..."?
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