casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,475 
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Post by casii on Jul 28, 2015 19:30:14 GMT
We got the call from my brother in law this morning that FIL is in the end stage. He's not eating or drinking and they can't administer meds.
DH is flying there tomorrow morning to just be there for her and help out however he can. We're trying to tell the kids in person or via phone, oddly difficult to do in this age where they primarily use phones for texting. But this isn't texting kind of news.
The hospice nurse says it could be a couple of days, a week or more, but her gut says a week. Kids and I will fly out for services.
It has been horrible to watch from afar, during visits, how it has stolen FIL's mind & spirit and worn MIL down these past few years. Thanks for letting me spill. Until we manage to talk to all 3 children, we're keeping the info close so they don't accidentally hear from someone else. |
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Mystie on Jul 28, 2015 19:31:36 GMT
I'm so sorry.
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on Jul 28, 2015 19:33:40 GMT
A sad time for sure. Hugs to you and your family.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
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Post by brandy327 on Jul 28, 2015 19:34:02 GMT
I'm so sorry. It's a terrible disease. My grandfather had it and was diagnosed in his early 50s. My grandmother took care of him at home until his death 7 years later. It was extremely sad to watch.
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Post by gar on Jul 28, 2015 19:37:28 GMT
I'm so sorry. We lost my FIL to this 15 months ago....it's hideous to watch the person disappearing, to see the the indignities of it and knowing how mortified they'd be if they knew they were behaving as they sometimes do.
I'm sorry.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Jul 28, 2015 19:41:19 GMT
Hugs
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lindas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,191
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Post by lindas on Jul 28, 2015 19:41:42 GMT
My prayers are with your family. My mom had Alzheimer's and died July 8th so I know what your MIL has been dealing with.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
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Post by georgiapea on Jul 28, 2015 19:52:47 GMT
Yes, it sure does. It seems to be prevalent in DH's family which I'm sure must worry him greatly. I'm very sorry that your family is going through its effects.
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Post by Dictionary on Jul 28, 2015 19:59:30 GMT
I am so sorry your family is having to go through this difficult time. Anticipatory grief is a hard road to follow. We had a similar situation (non-Alzheimer's) with my MIL, she had UTI and Rx wouldn't work on her so they just did end of life care. They transported her back home because none of the hospices wanted her due to the infection. Took a almost a month before she finally passed on, but dh went up there and it just because so hard to deal with, the not knowing and waiting. HUGS to you all.
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 28, 2015 20:09:52 GMT
I'm sorry.
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Post by katieanna on Jul 28, 2015 20:13:49 GMT
I'm so sorry. My grandfather passed away with Alzheimer's. There were times when he had his lucid moments and in those times, you could see the confusion and horror in his eyes. But then his eyes would glaze over again and you knew the Alzheimer's had him again.
Praying for peace for your family during this difficult time.
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Post by disneypal on Jul 28, 2015 20:16:28 GMT
Oh, I'm sorry. It is a horrible disease  |
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Post by lucyg on Jul 28, 2015 20:19:39 GMT
It absolutely does suck. We were "lucky" in that my dad died in his sleep of a stroke or heart attack (no autopsy was performed) before he got to the dying-of-Alzheimer's stage. But his mind was gone for years before that. Horrible disease.
I'm sorry for what your family is going through with this.
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Post by JoP on Jul 28, 2015 20:20:06 GMT
(((Hugs))) I'm so sorry
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Post by originalvanillabean on Jul 28, 2015 20:30:13 GMT
I'm sorry.
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Post by deekaye on Jul 28, 2015 20:32:00 GMT
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. We lost my Dad almost two years ago. In the span of a few years he went from a funny, lovable guy to a sad/scared little man. Such a horrible, horrible disease...
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Post by k8smom on Jul 28, 2015 20:38:28 GMT
UGH, that's the worst. Losing loved ones is far and away the worst part of being a grown up. Hugs.
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frostybuns
Shy Member
Posts: 22
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Post by frostybuns on Jul 28, 2015 20:44:04 GMT
So sorry for your family. My dad has Alzheimer's and my mom is in poor physical health and it has been tough. They can't take care of each other and the stress and burden of that falling to the kids has been immense. Big hugs!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 17, 2024 6:34:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 20:55:43 GMT
I'm so sorry. I lost my dad to Alzheimer's almost two years ago, and his youngest sister has now been diagnosed with it.
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casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,475
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Post by casii on Jul 28, 2015 21:17:18 GMT
Thank you! I'm so sorry for all of you that have loved and lost those to Alzheimer's as well as those still caring for an ailing relative.
One child down, 2 will have to wait until later this evening. Luckily hubby usually works from home unless he's out of town on business, so he can take his work with him and his staff is really stepping up taking over some of his out of town meetings for the next couple of weeks.
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Post by chichi on Jul 28, 2015 22:04:50 GMT
I'm so very sorry
My mom suffered from Alzheimer's
She passed about 4 weeks after she stopped eating and drinking.
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Post by ladytrisha on Jul 28, 2015 22:55:36 GMT
I'm so sorry. My MIL was diagnosed 3 years ago. She told us she was under care, on meds, doing all the right things and that her boyfriend/companion was a great help.
Her boyfriend/companion then diesvery unexpectedly and we find out that nothing was done beyond the initial diagnosis and the first round of aricept. First we had to fight family denial, then have my BIL step out as trustee because he was putting his agenda first. Tomorrow is the assessment by the 2 doctors so we can take over her and her estate. She is living alone, 200 miles away and we have been stalled by family for months. Finally we took over, hired an attorney and he had a come to reality meeting with the family. Still there was denial, but everyone agreed my DH is now in charge.
This is a nasty, horrible disease - and its 2nd generation for my MIL. We are starting to think that she didn't follow up on purpose because the downward descent has been so bad so quickly. Sadly, we can see the behavior in my hubby's brother - and he's only 54! Thankfully, my MIL invested well - beyond what anyone thought - so we've been able to find a wonderful facility nearby which has memory programs and administers her meds - now to just figure out how to get her into it because she insists she's fine. Tantrums are becoming more frequent so we always try to be calm because we know she doesn't understand. I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,644
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jul 28, 2015 22:56:37 GMT
It's just awful. I'm so sorry for your family.
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Post by janniepea on Jul 28, 2015 23:05:22 GMT
It is a horrific disease. We're watching my mother in law decline before our eyes. She was incredibly vibrant, healthy, communicated in Japanese fluently, exercised all the time and read thousands of books. If there was a poster child for not getting alzheimers, she would be it.
God bless all of you dealing with.
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Post by annabella on Jul 28, 2015 23:27:19 GMT
I'm sorry
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Post by Woobster on Jul 29, 2015 0:05:58 GMT
I am so sorry... Alzheimer's is brutal for everyone involved.
When my grandmother hit the stage you are describing, it took exactly one week for her to pass. I wish your family peace and comfort during this difficult time.
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Post by peasapie on Jul 29, 2015 1:06:01 GMT
I'm so sorry. My mom died of this. We lost her little by little, and it was hardest on my dad because he was taking care of her and missing her at the same time.
I guess your kids know he has Alzheimers but don't know he's going to pass soon. I don't know if writing letters to their grandfather (which of course he can't actually read) would help them at all.
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Post by txdancermom on Jul 29, 2015 1:21:10 GMT
Prayers for your family - we got a similar call earlier this year. and I agree, this is not a text/email kind of news thing.
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Post by christine58 on Jul 29, 2015 1:24:34 GMT
My uncle is also in end stage dementia...probably will pass within a day. He has not eaten in a week. So very sad...but all of his 5 boys and wives have said their goodbyes. My dad sat with him today and told him in Italian it was ok to go and he'd see over the "boys". It's his BIL. My aunt passed in October so this will be tough on his boys...(all over 45)
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 17, 2024 6:34:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2015 1:30:30 GMT
It is terrible. It really is. I am sorry |
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