Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 14:12:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2015 22:26:50 GMT
Hi I am really upset. I know this sounds dramatic, but as many people in RefuPeas know I have and love animals. I had 2 dogs and now I have one. I love dogs and I let them crawl all over me because I love dogs.
Today I went over to former BIL's house to say good bye to DN as she is going back to where she lives. He and his wife have a lab puppy. The puppy is cute and full of beans. She gives kisses and wants to be where you are all the time. Puppy grabs hold of my hand and starts biting it. I know she isn't doing harm to me. She is a PUPPY. Redirect and find something else for her to chew on, right? BIL grabbed puppy by the EAR and pulled it so hard the dog shrieked. He kept doing it over and over. I was trying to get him to stop and honest to god he kept doing it. The dog is a PUPPY. They chew on things and they aren't mean or anything.
I came home and had to calm down. When people say they don't like animals, I don't invite them to my house. I have no problem with it. If you don't like dogs, don't come over. It's as easy as that. My old man poodle just goes and lays down and doesn't bother anyone. If you don't like animals why on earth would you get a dog?
Please tell me the dog is going to be ok when she grows up. She is very cute and cuddly. She just chews on things.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Aug 6, 2015 22:33:58 GMT
I don't think constant pulling on the ear for punishment is right.
However, one thing that really stuck out in obedience training was that you need to match discipline and praise to the energy level of the dog. If you have a mellow dog, you up the praise and downplay the punishment. If you have a high energy dog, you downplay the praise and you up the discipline. My dog is high energy. We saw a big difference when we started to praise him with quiet words and motion but were loud and dominant with punishments. If we gave too much excited praise, it would get him riled up (which would usually lead to a punishment for something like jumping up) whereas if we weren't loud and dominant with punishments he wouldn't listen. So we had to become quiet (but consistent) with praise (quiet "good boy" and a rub behind the ears kind of thing) and loud and dominant with punishment (for example, with barking and acting aggressive to other dogs, we are to be LOUD and forceful with his leash and collar which I can't remember the name). It definitely works for us. His manners are not impeccable, but they have definitely improved. So it's possible that he's misusing that kind of training.
But pulling on an ear is never right.
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Post by Dixie Lou on Aug 6, 2015 22:36:57 GMT
Of course I have no idea of your relationship with your ex BIL so take this for what it's worth. (?)
Take the puppy some chew toys and tell him to give her one when she starts to chew something that she shouldn't.
Is the puppy HIS? Or someone that's living with him? Wonder what else he is doing that is abusive to the puppy when no one is around. I'd worry about that.
Go steal the puppy out of the backyard when he isn't looking.
No really, I think you need to say or do something. Will he listen to you or he is an asshole in general?
That's all I've got.
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Post by gailoh on Aug 6, 2015 23:05:35 GMT
I would want the dog and ask for him also talk to sis about it and how he really is with all animals..
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Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 14:12:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2015 23:06:18 GMT
The dog has lots of energy. She is a lab puppy and she is no different than my crazy poodle was. BIL is domineering as in he is the king of his castle and everyone around him knows this (personality wise). He thinks he needs to put on a show for people to prove that he is the king. This the harsh discipline with the dog.
I had to leave. I downplayed how much the dog had bitten me because she is a puppy. I kept saying that...she's a puppy. They need lots of exercise (I don't mean long walks as that can cause problems) but they need frequent walks and lots of attention.
If people don't like animals why do get they them?
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Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 14:12:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2015 23:11:39 GMT
I would want the dog and ask for him also talk to sis about it and how he really is with all animals.. That's where it gets complicated. This is my sister's widower so he is my BIL even though she is gone...kind of. I can't take the dog because I have an old dog and my old dog can't deal with someone with that kind of energy. He would be nice to her, but she would want to play. I saw how he treated my other standard poodle who died a couple of months ago and he was never nice to her, either. I just kept them away...she liked everyone and didn't know when to quit. He would take it upon himself to put her in her place. I know this isn't the best thing to do, but we treat our animals like kids. The dog gets as good treatment as DS got. We love our pets and take pet ownership seriously. (I just wish he were a bit more affectionate the dog not my son. The dog is only affectionate on HIS terms...he is very gentle but we babied him too much and he runs the house. He is cute though!) |
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Post by brynn on Aug 6, 2015 23:18:07 GMT
As an animal lover, I could not have witnessed your BIL's treatment of the puppy. I hope you steal the puppy and get her to a good home.
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Post by heartcat on Aug 8, 2015 10:16:40 GMT
I know that puppies (and other animals) get early socialization from their mother and siblings in a similar way. If they get too aggressive, bite, or hurt one another, they receive a nip in the way of a reprimand to help them learn what is acceptable and what is not. It is one of the reasons you don't want to take an animal away from its mother and siblings too early, because that early socialization is important.
Perhaps your bil is following some kind of similar training method, and maybe the pup's response is as much surprise as it is pain? The fact that the pup continued to do go back to you and bite, would seem to indicate that it wasn't in any real pain. If the puppy isn't skulking around, or cowering when your bil is around, but is full of energy and has no problems approaching people, it seems unlikely it is being abused.
Maybe bil is using too much force and hurting the pup. Without having been there, it is hard to say. It might not be my chosen method of dog training, but I have to admit that there are a lot of ineffective dog owners who allow what can become dangerous behaviours in their pets. For example, many people who think a puppy growling over a treat or toy is 'cute' and who don't deal with this kind of behaviour.
By your own admission you babied your dog and it 'runs the house'. Perhaps you are extra sensitive to what you perceive as your bil overreacting to 'normal' puppy behaviour.
You say that you 'downplayed' how much the puppy had bitten you. It doesn't sound as though 'you' were really dealing with the situation at all, or if you were, it wasn't very effective. What did you do when the puppy was biting you?
I am curious as to why you continued to play with the puppy, or pet it, or whatever you were doing to leave your hands accessible to being nipped at over and over, even once you saw how bil was disciplining his dog and knowing it upset you.
I wouldn't say, based just on this, that it's time to kidnap the pup or that she's in for a life of abuse at the hands of an animal hater.
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Post by momof3pits on Aug 8, 2015 11:24:27 GMT
There is no training that uses pulling a dogs ear until it cries out. Tell your bil to he his shit together.
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Post by farmdpea on Aug 8, 2015 11:46:19 GMT
As an animal lover, I could not have witnessed your BIL's treatment of the puppy. I hope you steal the puppy and get her to a good home. For real! I would have been tempted to grab HIS ear. Asshat! |
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Post by jmurray on Aug 8, 2015 14:39:51 GMT
Dogs and cats have extremely sensitive ears, and pulling hard on a puppy's ear could cause serious harm. I would definitely be saying something to the BIL to let him know it's not ok. And if that means he gets angry at me... oh well. I would just yank really hard on his ear. Seriously.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Aug 8, 2015 15:59:12 GMT
I would have grabbed the Brother in laws ear and pulled in it until he yelped.
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bunnylady
Junior Member
Posts: 55 
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Post by bunnylady on Aug 8, 2015 18:19:38 GMT
and
I have a now-9 month old lab puppy and he hardly bites at all now. Totally a puppy stage...we made sure we had tons of chew toys at the ready so we could redirect him.
I can't witness that kind of thing either. I'm sorry your BIL is such a jerk with animals. Maybe he just doesn't know another way, and you could be a positive influence? Maybe offer to spend an afternoon at his house training the puppy the right way? If he could see that a non-physical, non-angry approach will still work he might be swayed...
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azredhead
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,755
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Post by azredhead on Aug 8, 2015 19:50:36 GMT
Funny you should ask we were just at my neices they just got a puppy too. With same issues but not doing muchu but just letting it bite. She asked me about it since we've got dogs. I told her get it a kong and the teething bones. Stick it it's mouth when it bites or grab it's nose and say "no bite". but don't make it yelp. you're not supposed to hurt it. That's just mean. That just makes it worse.
Pia actully loved toothbrushes. For some reason that cured her of the biting thing. I think she liked the bristles. She didn't tear it apart either. And she's a big puppy but she sure liked thata toothbrush. She had quite a few. She has one in her bed lol. She also likes the rubber bones that have the bumps on them.
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Post by k8smom on Aug 8, 2015 21:26:01 GMT
Just like parenting kids, people raise / train their dogs differently. I am a dog lover and would never use physical punishment of any sort, but sadly I've seen people that do. Also it seems like dogs remember their early years so well for some reason, I hope the puppy doesn't grow up to cower. I think I would have tried to explain to BIL that puppies chew as a tactile way of investigating things, and if he wasn't receptive I would have said a pleasant, "It was great to see you guys today" and been on my way.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Aug 8, 2015 21:45:55 GMT
When Gadget was a puppy we got him too young at 3 1/2 weeks and we had to teach him everything. The first thing he always wanted to do is suck on my finger like he was nursing so I gave him a blanket. He still sucks on his blanket 10 years later but he doesn't suck on anything else. I did the same thing when he started to chew on us. We gave him a toy. He never did like hard toys so we always gave him stuffed animals or blankets. He loved to play tug a war with his blanket then when he won he would lay down and suck on it until he went to sleep.
When Pearl came home she was 7 weeks and full of piss and vigor and wanted to play and bite everything. We had to teach her fast not to bit but we had nothing but stuffed animals so I grabbed her teddy (he has beans in his feet) she loves them. she will grab him even today 9 years later and chew on his feet. She never has ripped his feet but he has stitches every where else.
Now Skip was the hardest because he came with so many issues that the chewing was a minor issue. He loved to chew on wicker. Couldn't have anything wicker in our house without it getting chewed on. Each item would disappear. We never really scolded him for it. We were dealing with more important issues with him. He never was a biter. Now he loves wicker. their toy box is wicker and he will get in it and sleep in it. THey have a wicker box that is as big as an end table and he loves to sleep in it. And then there is his bead basket in the graft room (I think he loves this one the most) He hasn't chewed on wicker for years.
I remember one day coming home to a wicker box in pieces all over the living room. I sat down and started picking it up totally ignoring Skip and his excitement of my return home. That was the last time he chewed on anything. And he always got happy love when we got home but that day he didn't. I never had to scold him on it.
But then there is Grumpy old man Gadget which when he doesn't want to do what you want him to do he gets grumpy and goes after the fingers. but MOM always WINS! I make him do it anyway. but most of the time he is like that when you wake him from a deep sleep.
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