Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 14:15:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2014 13:42:32 GMT
DH and I moved from a small one way in, one way out neighborhood that was semi-rural to in the city, there's 5 feet between you and your next door neighbor neighborhood. Neither one of us likes it but we did it more for the kids so that may be coloring our views. When we moved in, our yard, the neighbor behind us and next door were not fenced in. We couldn't afford to fence in the entire backyard right away so we did half of it so the beagle could be outside off a leash. That left half of the yard open and from the neighbor behind us backyard to the sidewalk in front of our house is open. On several occasions, the neighbor behind us has cut through our yard to get to theirs, meaning they walked off the sidewalk, through my front yard, down the side yard (which is NOT public property), through the open part of our backyard and into theirs. They even drove a CAR through there! (that one really blew my mind). I've seen bike tracks as well. The last time I saw them walking through my yard, I told them to stop, my yard is not a shortcut. Both DH and I were amazed they were even doing that. It never occurred to us to use someone else's yard as a shortcut, especially someone we don't know and are not friendly with. After they drove a car through my yard (from their backyard to the front of my house), I knew there was no way in hell I'd be interested in being friends with them. Two doors down is this older lady that seems to be either just strange or in early stages of dementia. Our next door neighbor between her and us seem to be friendly. I've seen her take their mail many times and even take their trash can in. Before I had dismissed it as they asked her to do it because they were out of town. Until yesterday. DH and I saw her bring in the neighbor's trash can and said, oh they must have left for the weekend already. About an hour later, the neighbor came home. Now I'm wondering WTH? Neither neighbor have any ailments that would prevent them from getting their own mail or taking care of their trash can. There's no HOA so there's no rule saying you have to bring your can in ASAP. DH and I think this is just weird. I have no problem with a neighbor getting my mail for me if I'm going to be gone for a few days. I've grown up with that. I've asked a neighbor to bring in our trash can because we were leaving the day of pick up and didn't want it sitting out there for 4 days. But for a neighbor to get my mail or bring in my can when I'm going to be home? Uh, no. That's just too weird for me. Am I the only one?
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Post by christine58 on Jul 17, 2014 13:45:28 GMT
I'd be fencing in my entire yard....that's just rude
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Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 14:15:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2014 13:48:31 GMT
We have plans to put up a privacy fence along the back part of the yard and then chainlink the rest to prevent any further crossings, but likely won't happen until next year. Before we were only going to fence in part, but now, the entire backyard will be fenced in, including the side yard.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Jul 17, 2014 13:50:28 GMT
I'd figure maybe there were ailments that I couldn't discern, that would make walking difficult (regarding the trash/mail issue)?
I wonder similar things about neighbors and their various activities. Living in town is a novelty to me, and I'm curious.
We have children cutting through an area behind and between fences sometimes. It bothers me some, but I do like the idea of children outdoors, playing, so I haven't said anything. Same for when they use my sloped driveway as a ramp for their bikes and skateboards.
The driving the car through your yard though-- that's wrong! An adult regularly cutting through someone else's property afoot isn't cool either. I've been in people's yards before, chasing the runaway Beagle, and felt like an intruder.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jul 17, 2014 13:53:21 GMT
The walking for a short cut probably wouldn't bother me (depending on my mood for that day LOL) but the drivin and biking would piss me off because the tire marks.
The other stuff is a little odd but I personally wouldn't say anything because it doesn't involve me.
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Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 14:15:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2014 13:56:49 GMT
Nope, nothing wrong with our next door neighbor. We've talked with them many times. They go on biking trips many weekends. The only thing wrong with the DH there is that he is not handy at all as per his own admittance. He was proud of himself when he made a bike rack for their truck and even brought it over to show DH. Which is why I just don't get why their next door neighbor is doing this. I just find it strange. DH cracked that we should leave our can out there and see if she'll bring it in for us.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Jul 17, 2014 13:57:18 GMT
The walking through the yard uninvited would make me livid. I'm sorry, but that's just rude. YOU DO NOT use another person's yard for a shortcut if you haven't been invited to do so.
The other stuff is weird, like the neighbour wants to keep tabs on the person or something. Kind of nosey stalkerish behaviour. Keep your paws off my stuff unless I explicitly ask you to do something.
Sounds like you may have a few nutters in your vicinity.
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on Jul 17, 2014 13:58:30 GMT
i got grounded once for cutting through a neighbor's yard - ( THAT is a whole nother issue)
i totally get not walking on other people's property
and it would really bother me as well
enough to go have a chat with the neighbor
as to the mail/trash - hard to tell what arrangement they might have
gina
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,630
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jul 17, 2014 13:58:46 GMT
Get a fence for the one issue.
Maybe the old lady needs money and they are paying her to help them out. That one is no big deal. But the cutting through the yard? GET A FENCE!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 14:15:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2014 13:59:01 GMT
The walking for a short cut probably wouldn't bother me (depending on my mood for that day LOL) but the drivin and biking would piss me off because the tire marks. The other stuff is a little odd but I personally wouldn't say anything because it doesn't involve me. You don't mind someone trespassing on your property? Seriously? My yard is NOT a shortcut for anyone.
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Post by dulcemama on Jul 17, 2014 14:00:45 GMT
The walking for a short cut probably wouldn't bother me (depending on my mood for that day LOL) but the drivin and biking would piss me off because the tire marks. The other stuff is a little odd but I personally wouldn't say anything because it doesn't involve me. This. If most of the neighbors have lived in the neighborhood for a long time, boundaries tend to soften a bit. DH and I bought my in-laws' house and this is how things are in our neighborhood. Many of the houses are in the hands of the people who first built them in the 70's or their children. I think the extra space also softens boundaries a bit too.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Jul 17, 2014 14:03:18 GMT
Well it just sounds neighborly to me (minus driving a car through your yard, that's just rude!). I don't think it would bother me to have neighbors walking in my yard. What's the harm in it? And I think it's just being kind to take someone elses trashcan to their house for them. It sounds like you have no idea of the nature of their relationship. Have you met them? Why does it bother you?
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jul 17, 2014 14:03:25 GMT
The walking for a short cut probably wouldn't bother me (depending on my mood for that day LOL) but the drivin and biking would piss me off because the tire marks. The other stuff is a little odd but I personally wouldn't say anything because it doesn't involve me. You don't mind someone trespassing on your property? Seriously? My yard is NOT a shortcut for anyone. Honestly if they were just walking through (this has happened before to be on occasion) no I wouldn't make a issue out of it because for ME it's not a huge deal. Nothing to make a issue with neighbors over. The driving and biking though would bother me because I know you would get tire marks..especially if it rained. You asked I answered.
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Post by librarylady on Jul 17, 2014 14:04:05 GMT
My nephew, living in the Chicago area, had a similar situation--the neighborhood used their yard as a cut through. He put up a fence and at least one other homeowner complained because "now we can't cut through." If I were friends with the family I might not say anything about the walking (especially kids) through my property--but a car!!!!!! yikes! Yes, a fence would go up...........
When we moved here, we ended up locking the side gates because the dingy neighbor 2 houses east of us knew no boundaries. We looked up one AM (we were eating breakfast) and she had friends with her showing them what we had done to the backyard and how nice it was. !!!!!
Regarding the mail and trash cans--I would not say anything. If it ever comes up that would be the time to say something. For all you know, she/the older, might be the parents of one of them.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Jul 17, 2014 14:05:21 GMT
OH! I see what you mean about the older lady having dementia. And the neighbors are just being nice and letting her continue with the mail fetching.
When I was a kid, the girls I ran around with got in trouble for getting into the mailbox and taking the mail up to the neighbor's door. We'd ring the bell, "Here's your mail!" not knowing it was a federal offense. She was nice to our face, then called our parents to make us stop.
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Jul 17, 2014 14:16:44 GMT
We have plans to put up a privacy fence along the back part of the yard and then chainlink the rest to prevent any further crossings, but likely won't happen until next year. Before we were only going to fence in part, but now, the entire backyard will be fenced in, including the side yard. Can you put in some rockery to at least prevent them driving through? That's hella rude! Some people have zero sense of boundaries, their own or others.
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Post by lbp on Jul 17, 2014 14:28:00 GMT
The walking through my yard wouldn't bother me but the driving of a car through my property would and has made me furious. Our neighbors landscaper decided to bring his heavy bull dozer down our driveway and it broke the culverts that are in it to redirect the rain water. He honestly was perplexed as to why we were asking him to replace the culverts!
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IAmUnoriginal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
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Post by IAmUnoriginal on Jul 17, 2014 14:31:30 GMT
The walking/driving on my property would piss me right off. I'd be working my budget to find a way to extend my fence ASAP to save myself the aggravation.
The garbage can/mail situation probably wouldn't ping my radar. We always pull up our neighbor's cans if we get to them first on trash day. She's more than able to do it herself. But, she's a flight attendant and works wacky hours. We don't keep track of her schedule. She could be home in 30 minutes. She could be home in 3 days. We just pull the cans when we see them at the end of the driveway to be nice. If she's home on trash day, she pulls ours up for us. We don't mess with her mail, though.
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Post by MommyofTriplets on Jul 17, 2014 14:32:31 GMT
I grew up in the suburbs with houses only a driveway width apart and kids frequently cut through yards. I don't think I'd like it too much now though.
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JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,829
Location: Indianapolis
Jul 2, 2014 17:12:39 GMT
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Post by JustTricia on Jul 17, 2014 14:33:41 GMT
Yep, fence or rocks to prevent the driving.
You said the older lady might be in early stages of dementia? Maybe the neighbors go grocery shopping for her, or take her to the doctor, in exchange she does this for them. She's not getting your trash cans or mail, I'd leave it alone.
My parents have lived in a house on a court for 35 years. One of my childhood friends moved across the street five of so years ago. The neighbors to my parent's left have only been here for three, but she has been diagnosed with cancer. Every once in a while my friend will bring up my parent's and my neighbor's trash cans. Because he's nice.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 14:15:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2014 14:34:45 GMT
The cutting through (whether walking, biking or driving) is not acceptable ever. If they get hurt on your property they can sue you.
The other stuff I'm not sure why it bothers you? It isn't your mail or garbage. Who cares? I will help certain people just to be nice. And no even if you talk to people you don't know all their medical issues. Not every disease is obvious. I get it all the time, well you don't look sick. Sigh.
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Post by kellybelly77 on Jul 17, 2014 14:35:41 GMT
We have people cut through the area between our neighbors yard and our yard all the time to get to the sidewalk behind our houses that is on a busy street. They do this so they don't have to walk all the way to the end of the block to go around. It's mostly kids so it doesn't bother me. But it bothers our neighbor! The area isn't big enough for a car though, that is just weird.
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conchita
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,141
Jul 1, 2014 11:25:58 GMT
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Post by conchita on Jul 17, 2014 14:37:00 GMT
I know I'd be the crazy lady yelling at kids to, "Get off my lawn"! That would really bother me. The car? I would be LIVID. Maybe set up one of those automatic water sprinklers people use to try to keep cats out of their yards? That would actually be fun to watch.
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whirledpeas
Junior Member
Oceanside, California
Posts: 52
Jun 25, 2014 20:51:30 GMT
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Post by whirledpeas on Jul 17, 2014 14:37:32 GMT
The yard thing would drive me crazy. As far as the mail and trash cans, we have an older, retired gentleman that lives three houses down from us. He does almost everyone's yard on our street. He doesn't just mow it but keeps it nice, puts down fertilizer and seed when needed, trims bushes, rakes....everything. Of course, we pay him. Anyway, he also takes all of our trash cans in for us. No one expects him to, but when we come home from work...the cans are all in. After the waste management trucks come through, he just grabs them. I love my little neighborhood! ETA: Our mail is in a locked box so he doesn't get that. He probably would if he could.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,183
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Jul 17, 2014 14:39:50 GMT
The car being driven through my yard would make me livid. No way is that acceptable. I'd probably have found some nice big decorative rocks to add to my landscaping if I couldn't or didn't want to do a fence right away.
Walking through our yard? Depends on the situation and how often it happens whether I'd be bugged by that.
The trash can situation? No biggie. We occasionally come home to find ours pulled up the driveway to the garage by one of the neighbors; it's just a helpful thing to do, but then we are friends with all of our neighbors.
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Post by cannes on Jul 17, 2014 14:41:13 GMT
We have a fence around our yard and I was seriously pissed when we found a group of teenagers walking through the yard. They'd jumped the fence and were using our yard as a shortcut. If there is no fence I wouldn't reach quite that level of pissed off, but I'd be pretty annoyed. The car driving through my yard would result in a polite request to the neighbors that they stop. A fence should help.
For the trash/mail thing, I'd say it's just the neighbor trying to be nice. I usually leave the mail alone, unless asked to pick it up, but I've taken trash cans in for neighbors without being asked, just to be nice.
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Post by kristalina on Jul 17, 2014 14:52:18 GMT
Yep, rude and the car was beyond rude. Did they stop since you asked them to stop short-cutting?
The elder neighbor is probably bored and helping out when she can. She's from a generation when everyone knew each other on the block and it wasn't considered odd to help each other. My dh occasionally mows our next-door or across-the-street's lawn and it's not unusual to have them edge ours or blow the leaves. (all of our yards are TINY!)
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 17, 2014 15:00:21 GMT
I'd be fencing in my entire yard....that's just rude Unbelievable. Some people have such an air of entitlement.
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,854
Jun 26, 2014 17:47:08 GMT
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Post by peppermintpatty on Jul 17, 2014 15:00:54 GMT
The car thing is rude but come on, walking is rude? Since when? My dd and neighbor's dd walk through my back yard and through another friends back yard to get to the bus stop. It takes 5 minutes but if the had to walk around it would take 15 min and they have to be at the bus at 6:30 in the morning. The neighbor next to my friend has bitched about the girls walking ALONG her property. Not on but ALONG. She claims they are killing her precious weeds by a retaining wall. Whatever, get over your grass. It is made for walking on.
Now our other neighbor gives us direct access to my sister's house. He is a crochety, cranky old man who claims we have killed all his plants where my kids and my nephews would occasionally go. I am talking maybe once a month. Um no, you planted sun loving plants in dense shade where there is nothing but rocks and that is why your stupid plants have died.
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ingrid
Full Member
Posts: 490
Jun 26, 2014 0:52:41 GMT
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Post by ingrid on Jul 17, 2014 15:01:04 GMT
Do you think the mail and trash can thing is just something the lady enjoys or wants to do? Because I think it's sweet of your neighbors to let her if that's the case. I honestly wouldn't think twice about it if our neighbors had a similar arrangement with each other. Maybe she's bored or there's been a problem in the past with things being taken from the mailbox and she's helping them out. I just wouldn't care if it didn't actually involve my mail or trash can.
The problem with the other neighbor is that you have asked them to stop and they continue to trespass on your property. I think a motion activated sprinkler would be a pretty great solution, but I'm pretty immature. If I happened to be feeling particularly adult-like, I would knock on their door or catch them when they were working outside and say something like, "Hey, I asked you awhile ago to please stop using our yard as a shortcut. Our property starts here and extends to here. I'm not sure if you knew that. Can we please come to an agreement on this? It seems unnecessary to take further action in order to prevent trespassing if you could please respect my request."
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