Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 19:21:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2015 13:06:40 GMT
I am so sorry. I support your decision, she is driving this experience. I wish it was different for you.
hugs
Annette
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Post by anonrefugee on Sept 13, 2015 13:10:11 GMT
I didn't realize I was holding my breath reading until huge exhale at the end I'm sorry she didn't learn. You've tried so hard and love her so much. I wish I knew something better to say, all I've got are cyber hugs and tears.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Sept 13, 2015 13:11:22 GMT
I am so sorry. At some point, people make their own choices and have to live with the consequences.
I can tell you that not enabling her, not allowing her to use your place as a crash pad to come down from a high, not baling her out -- making her deal with the consequences -- is, IME, the only thing that has ANY chance of getting through to her.
So, hugs, Mama. You are doing the right thing. As I always said to my kids, "If doing the right thing were easy, it would be called the easy thing." It's hard, but it's right.
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,714
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Sept 13, 2015 13:11:34 GMT
Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers. You are the parents and you are looking after your other children. Taylor has made her decision. Being a parent is really tough.
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Post by gailoh on Sept 13, 2015 13:12:04 GMT
Hopefully when she hits bottom she will grow up to realize she has to take responsibility for her actions. In that time I pray your daughter does not get hurt as much as you are doing. Scary not to know where they are or what they doing and who with.
You have to let her go be 18...
Hugs to you and your husband it sounds like you are under a lot of stress...
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Post by miominmio on Sept 13, 2015 13:14:22 GMT
I'm so sorry. This really breaks my heart. I had a friend like Taylor at that age, and it was so hard to witness all the stupid choices she made. ((Hugs))
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gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
Jun 26, 2014 12:35:32 GMT
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Post by gloryjoy on Sept 13, 2015 13:15:32 GMT
No one ever said that parenting was easy, it's the hardest job there is.
You've done everything you could do, she has made the choices and she has to live with the consequences. At some point you have to say enough and let the chips fall where they may.
Hugs to you, I know it isn't easy.
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Post by ahiller on Sept 13, 2015 13:17:33 GMT
I am so sorry. At some point, people make their own choices and have to live with the consequences. I can tell you that not enabling her, not allowing her to use your place as a crash pad to come down from a high, not baling her out -- making her deal with the consequences -- is, IME, the only thing that has ANY chance of getting through to her. So, hugs, Mama. You are doing the right thing. As I always said to my kids, "If doing the right thing were easy, it would be called the easy thing." It's hard, but it's right. I agree. It must be SO very, very hard but you are doing what's best for her. I hope she wakes up soon and realizes that she has two parents who love her very much. Hugs to you.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,738
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Sept 13, 2015 13:17:45 GMT
So sorry that Taylor couldn't make the changes she needed to make. You gave her every opportunity. Hugs to you for doing what you knew was right, for her and for your other kids.
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Post by Tamhugh on Sept 13, 2015 13:18:31 GMT
I'm sorry for what you are going through. I hope that she is able to realize what she is doing and get her life turned around. I also hope that at some point she is able to realize what she has put you and the rest of your family through and how much it must have hurt you to do the right thing.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 19:21:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2015 13:18:24 GMT
I am so sorry for your heartbreak. Big hugs to you and your dh.
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Post by momstime on Sept 13, 2015 13:24:32 GMT
I know your pain. This is all on Taylor. You have done all you can. I'm sorry. {{hugs}}
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Nicole in TX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,951
Jun 26, 2014 2:00:21 GMT
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Post by Nicole in TX on Sept 13, 2015 13:25:37 GMT
I admire you for sticking to your guns and holding the line.
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Post by miranda on Sept 13, 2015 13:26:01 GMT
Sorry to hear that things haven't gone better. Doing the right thing for our kids is always tough.
I have an 18 yo who is currently living with a friend because he refuses to respect anything we say. Unfortunately we figured out after he left he was smoking marijuana and we pray that is all he is doing! It isn't easy to know what the right thing is do. Hope Taylor gets her head on straight and starts to turn things around.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Sept 13, 2015 13:40:07 GMT
I am so sorry. At some point, people make their own choices and have to live with the consequences. I can tell you that not enabling her, not allowing her to use your place as a crash pad to come down from a high, not baling her out -- making her deal with the consequences -- is, IME, the only thing that has ANY chance of getting through to her. So, hugs, Mama. You are doing the right thing. As I always said to my kids, "If doing the right thing were easy, it would be called the easy thing." It's hard, but it's right. You'll be in my prayers.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,783
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Sept 13, 2015 13:42:44 GMT
I am so sorry. I will add you all to my prayers.
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marimoose
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,282
Jul 22, 2014 2:10:14 GMT
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Post by marimoose on Sept 13, 2015 13:43:27 GMT
We can all say so many things but really, you have said it all and are doing what you need to do for your family including Taylor. My heart is breaking for all of you and I admire your strength to do what needs to be done. I hope that Taylor eventually gets it together and simply grows up, realizing the love of her parents and family. Until then I am sending huge cyber hugs to you.
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,834
Location: NW PA
Jun 25, 2014 23:50:38 GMT
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Post by Judy26 on Sept 13, 2015 13:46:11 GMT
Everyone has said my thoughts so much better than I could. You are living every parent's worst nightmare. Stay strong and know you are doing the right thing for everyone involved.
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garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,734
Location: So. Calif.
Member is Online
Jun 25, 2014 23:22:29 GMT
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Post by garcia5050 on Sept 13, 2015 14:00:03 GMT
I was hoping this was going to be a good update. It does sound like you are doing everything right. I'm sorry your daughter is breaking your heart. Hopefully, she is able to one day appreciate all you've done for her.
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calgal08
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,519
Jun 27, 2014 15:43:46 GMT
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Post by calgal08 on Sept 13, 2015 14:03:21 GMT
You love your daughter, there's no question about that. You are doing the hardest thing a parent can ever do. I can't even imagine.
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Post by Really Red on Sept 13, 2015 14:05:01 GMT
I am sorry.
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Post by hop2 on Sept 13, 2015 14:19:22 GMT
You have other children to protect. It's a hard spot to be in but your doing the right thing. {{{hugs}}}
I hate drugs. I hate what they do to people. I've seen too much. I can not fathom ever condoning the use and over use of drug. Drugs are so very sad how they change people. And from inside they can not see it. It's devastating to loose someone to drugs. It's devastating when you hope no one bails them out of jail because it's the only hope of them getting sober. You pray that being sober they might just see what they are doing. You pray that something, anything, anyone, gets thru to them. You pray every day that your not going to get 'that' call from the first responders. And yes they do still call you when they are over 18. My nephew was 24 and they still called my BIL.
I'm sorry your going thru this, you are not alone. {{{hugs}}}
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Sept 13, 2015 14:26:45 GMT
I'm so sorry.
(((hugs))) to you.
You are doing the right thing.
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Post by mlynn on Sept 13, 2015 14:27:44 GMT
I have been thinking of you and wondering how things are going. I was hoping that no news was good news. I am sorry it has not turned out that way. I agree that you have been doing the right thing. She should not be allowed to run roughshod over the whole household. Tough love is not just tough on the child, as you well know.
You are raising the bottom (as in hitting bottom). That is a good thing. I hope that you and your husband are proud of yourselves and each other. You should be.
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Post by bearmom on Sept 13, 2015 14:29:54 GMT
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that your dd realizes in time everything you have done for her.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 19:21:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2015 14:44:15 GMT
I'm sorry your going through this. I think you've been more than fair and she needs to take responsibility for herself. I hope she returns to you in the near future as a new person.
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Post by Skellinton on Sept 13, 2015 14:46:53 GMT
I am sorry to read this update. You and your husband are doing everything you can and should to help your daughter. Just because she is still using now and has said she doesn't want contact doesn't mean that is it. You and your husband standing firm may be the catalyst for her to hit her bottom and realize living this way is not all she thinks it is and she turns her life around. You have to stand firm, but hopefully Taylor will realize sooner rather than later what she had thrown away and she will come back to you, healthy and well.
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polly91
Shy Member
Posts: 49
Jun 27, 2014 18:50:20 GMT
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Post by polly91 on Sept 13, 2015 14:52:17 GMT
so sorry to hear how things have been going. you are doing the right thing no matter how hard it is. you are a great mom....
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Post by marmargirl on Sept 13, 2015 15:02:58 GMT
You've done all you can. Her life is up to her now and hopefully, she will come to her senses.
I know it's not easy but truly, you need to let her sink or swim on her terms now.
Focus on yourselves and enjoy having peace in your household for now.
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Post by malibou on Sept 13, 2015 15:22:55 GMT
I am so sorry for both your and your husband's heartache. If I ever find myself in a similar situation, I hope I handle it as well as you guys have.
J
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