S/O of the funerals: what to do if someone dies at home?

It's good to have a plan. I know our Country Coroner gets a lot of business because he is there when people are vulnerable rather than people choosing what funeral home they want.

This is what my MIL did when her husband died unexpectedly in his sleep. She called 911 because she didn't know what else to do. After that, she called her pastor, her sister, and then my husband, to come be with her. I believe that the pastor helped her to contact a funeral home to come to the house. 

My father passed away a few days ago at home. He had just begun home hospice care. My sister called the hospice nurse and she came within a few minutes. She made all of the necessary calls... funeral home, pastor, family doctor, medical supply company. I don't know what happens in unexpected circumstances, but in our case, hospice was a godsend in handling so much.

Sorry for your loss.

My daughter died at home as an infant of SIDS and I called 911. They sent the ambulance and the police. It was awful.

My DH's assistant of 25 years died in her sleep on Halloween. Her 12-year-old son found her. He went to check on her when she didn't get up on time and found her dead. Her daughters, 20 and 24 were also in the house. Her husband was out of town on a hunting trip. Her kids called 911. They sent an ambulance. EMS called the coroner and then they called a funeral home to come and get the body. In the meantime, tons of friends and relatives showed up to support the kids until their dad got home. This was a very small, close-knit town. Everybody knows everybody there so even EMS, the coroner and the funeral home people were friends.

My MIL also died at home, but she was in hospice care. They took care of everything.

You call 911, unless it's a hospice patient. Then they will handle it.

Just a note, though: Don't put documents like that in the safe deposit box in the bank - no one will think to go there if it's a dire emergency, and depending on whose signatures are on access for the box, you may not be able to get into it. If the deceased name is on it, you will probably not have access. Find a fire proof safe place at home where others know where those important papers are.

If you are talking a bank safe deposit box, what happens if you die on a weekend or holiday? Your daughter will have to wait until the bank opens. And is she on the safe deposit account?

If you are talking about a home safe be sure she knows where it is and that the info is in there-also where the key is. We knew for years where my dad's stronbox was, what was in it and his hidng spot for the key.

My dad died in his sleep. In some states if the death is unattended (no witness) an autopsy has to be performed. In Idaho, if the death does not look suspicious, it is not required. The county sheriff was called and arrangements were made from there.

My sympathies, tamhugh

I am so sorry for your loss

Good lord!  

My dad died at home 30+ years ago after a lengthy illness. My mom called 911 when he was failing and the paramedics came, started CPR and then realized there was nothing they could really do. They helped her contact whoever needed to be called (it was at night on a weekend) and the funeral home people came to get him.

When FIL died at home, he had been pretty sick but no one expected him to die. MIL got up that day and thought he was sleeping so she went to work. It wasn't until she got home that afternoon that she realized he had been dead for hours, probably since the night before. She called DH first and he told her to call 911. The worst part in their case was that they had both prepaid to be cremated years and years before with the Cremation Society and she had totally forgot due to the shock of his sudden passing. She ended up having him taken to a different funeral home where they charged her for everything and it was a lot more than what they had originally paid because all of the costs had gone up substantially.

So my PSA is if you do pay for your funeral expenses in advance, make sure that information is readily available and located in a place where someone with a clear head will see it or find it. Sometimes the person closest to the deceased may not have all of their wits about them when everything is happening so fast.