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Post by ajsweetpea on Dec 20, 2015 21:21:25 GMT
I'm pretty irritated right now. My oldest (11) was at church and asked if she could go somewhere with her cousin (12). I agreed and later, daughter texts me to tell me they are being driven to the event by cousin's 15 year old brother who has a driver's permit. Granted, his father was also in the car but at no point was it mentioned to me that a 15 year old would be transporting my child. If I had known, I would have driven her myself or said no. Husband seems totally unconcerned by the situation and doesn't understand why I am upset. Would it bother you if you weren't asked first? Am I overreacting?
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 20, 2015 21:23:36 GMT
No it would not bother me.
Is cousin's brother not also a cousin? Doesn't that make the dad the uncle?
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Post by mom on Dec 20, 2015 21:28:29 GMT
Would not even be on my radar. A responsible adult was in the car so its not like they would be doing donuts in the middle of interstate.
Now, if the kid was driving without an adult - I would be upset. But this? Nope. Like is too short to worry about this.
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Post by Drew on Dec 20, 2015 21:35:09 GMT
I would never allow my permitted 15 yr old child to drive another child regardless of my presence in the car. Sounds like there were 3 kids in the car with a 15 year old driver. I'd be irritated. Bad call on the uncle's part.
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Post by Sparki on Dec 20, 2015 21:37:44 GMT
No way is it ok for a 15 yr old to drive my child. In some states it's actually illegal for a 15 yr old to drive with more than 1 other person in the car, and that person must be an adult.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Dec 20, 2015 21:39:05 GMT
It would depend a bit on the circumstances. How long was drive? Was it on the interstate? What are the road conditions? I would not be pleased if an unlicensed driver was practicing driving on the interstate in snowy conditions with my child in the card. A few miles on local roads in good conditions... I'd probably not be upset enough to make a big deal about it. I do think however, that this is not allowed in my state, which may impact my annoyance level.
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Post by jemali on Dec 20, 2015 21:40:57 GMT
Assuming all laws were being followed and the driver had his permit for a reasonable amount of time it would be okay with me.
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Post by leftturnonly on Dec 20, 2015 21:41:37 GMT
It completely depends on where this was happening.
Big city traffic? No way.
Rural suburban area with little real traffic? OK.
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marimoose
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,282 
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Post by marimoose on Dec 20, 2015 21:42:00 GMT
This would bother me and the same thing happened several years ago with my eldest daughter. She went skiing with a family that I normally trust but they decided to let their son with a permit drive the car so he could get the experience. yes, there were licensed drivers in the car but I don't trust that they could react fast enough from the passenger seat if something goes wrong. Nothing did but it sure did make me ask more questions. In the same vein of thought, I would not have permiteed anyone other than immediate family in the car while my kids were learning to drive. I wouldn't want that kind of responsibility. BTW - I think it might be more of a guy thing to not be worried because my husband was no where near (at all) concerned about the situation.
They shoudl have asked first.
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 20, 2015 21:42:16 GMT
TBH, this wouldn't bother me. It can be really tough for a young driver to get time behind the wheel so you take advantage of every opportunity.
I would be concerned if weather/road conditions were bad but not under normal conditions.
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marimoose
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by marimoose on Dec 20, 2015 21:44:16 GMT
It would depend a bit on the circumstances. How long was drive? Was it on the interstate? What are the road conditions? I would not be pleased if an unlicensed driver was practicing driving on the interstate in snowy conditions with my child in the card. A few miles on local roads in good conditions... I'd probably not be upset enough to make a big deal about it. I do think however, that this is not allowed in my state, which may impact my annoyance level. I don't think in Colorado that this is allowed either. I know that first year licensed drivers under 18 are not allowed any passengers other than direct family members, not that they all follow the rules. |
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calgal08
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Jun 27, 2014 15:43:46 GMT
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Post by calgal08 on Dec 20, 2015 21:51:15 GMT
It would bother me. I think it's polite to let you know and it also gives you the option of saying no
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Deleted
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May 18, 2024 18:56:10 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2015 21:57:03 GMT
If it bothers you, your dd is now the age lots of her friends have driving permit age siblings. You need to start asking before giving permission.
But, having been through teaching my kids to drive, no, I wouldn't be bothered unless the dad is normally irresponsible. If the roads are clear of ice/snow and traffic isn't unusually heavy or it isn't interstate driving speeds I'd be ok with in town stop/go 40-ish or less speeds.
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Post by maryland on Dec 20, 2015 22:01:51 GMT
No it would not bother me. Is cousin's brother not also a cousin? Doesn't that make the dad the uncle? I was thinking the same thing! 
I wouldn't want a 15 yr. old driving my child, but I am super paranoid about accidents! My husband wouldn't mind at all!
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Post by just PEAchy on Dec 20, 2015 22:04:46 GMT
It's not allowed in my state, only licensed drivers over the age of 18 can be in a car driven by someone with just a learners permit.
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Post by Really Red on Dec 20, 2015 22:06:32 GMT
OMG.NO! A 15yo driver hasn't been driving long enough and isn't skilled enough to drive himself, let alone two young kids!! I didn't allow either one of my girls to drive another child until they had their license and even at that point, they were allowed one child (by law) and either they or I made sure that the parent of that child knew it was a newly-minted 16yo driver.
At the very least, you should have been forewarned.
I don't know what part of the country the people who don't care live in, but in my part of the country, we have deaths constantly from 15yo and 16yo drivers (constantly - several each year in a sparsely-populated area)
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Post by gar on Dec 20, 2015 22:09:18 GMT
Yes but the US driving age always seems alarmingly young to me anyway. Theoretically it was ok as there was an adult there but.....
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Post by originalvanillabean on Dec 20, 2015 22:11:20 GMT
I think it would bother me.
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Post by nyxish on Dec 20, 2015 22:15:32 GMT
Sorry, i think you're overreacting. As long as Uncle was in the car as well as stipulated by a learner's permit, i really don't see any problem with this.
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Post by Karene on Dec 20, 2015 22:16:26 GMT
Yes, it would bother me. 15 years old seems too young to me and they would definitely not have been driving long enough to be skilled enough for me to let them transport my child. I really would want to be asked first as well!
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GiantsFan
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Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Dec 20, 2015 22:16:55 GMT
I'm not a parent but I think I would be irritated. IMO, a 15 yo with a learners' permit is way different than a licensed driver. This coming from someone who had lots of experience driving on the ranch and was pretty comfortable behind the wheel even before I had a permit. Public roads are different than ranch roads.
However, I think you should let it go. What's done is done. Tell your daughter that you don't like that situation and next time, call you and you will pick her up and take her.
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Post by Basket1lady on Dec 20, 2015 22:20:43 GMT
Yes, it would bother me. I'd be setting up rules with my kids for the future.
Here, licensed drivers and permitted drivers are only allowed one non family member in the car while driving. DD is 16. Our family rule is no passengers in the car when they are driving, for the first 6 months and they are not allowed in the car with another new driver. It's too easy for a new driver to be distracted with fatal consequences.
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Post by tarheelgurl on Dec 20, 2015 23:08:21 GMT
That would upset me too. You'll have to instruct your daughter not to ride with him. I wouldn't ride with my grandson when he had his permit or even when he first got his drivers license. Now that he's had some experience and has proven to be a safe driver I'll ride with him.
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Post by littlemama on Dec 20, 2015 23:13:11 GMT
Yes, I would be bothered by that. I did not let ds drive on his permit with any of his friends in the car and I expected the same courtesy of other parents. 15 year olds are not good drivers and should not be driving with other kids who are not their siblings.
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georgiapea
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Post by georgiapea on Dec 20, 2015 23:17:38 GMT
Isn't it illegal for a permit holder to carry passengers, aside from the licensed adult giving instruction? The dad should be driving. They can have "driver training time" on another day, just the 2 of them.
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MorningPerson
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Post by MorningPerson on Dec 20, 2015 23:17:56 GMT
Yes but the US driving age always seems alarmingly young to me anyway. Theoretically it was ok as there was an adult there but..... OK, now I'm curious. What's the driving age in England? |
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Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 20, 2015 23:25:24 GMT
I think 15 is too young to drive a car. Here you get an L learner) card for the car and you can only drive with a licensed adult for a year. 365 days later after a perfect driving record you do a road test and get another card in green with an N (novice) and you keep that until you turn 19. There are restrictions driving with an N card, too. I.e. No more than one UNrelated passenger in the car. (Family is unlimited based on no. of seat belts).
That said I like the laws in my province and they seem to work. Would I be ok with it in the province beside us in winter with snow? Not so sure.
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pridemom
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Post by pridemom on Dec 20, 2015 23:26:26 GMT
Isn't it illegal for a permit holder to carry passengers, aside from the licensed adult giving instruction? The dad should be driving. They can have "driver training time" on another day, just the 2 of them. That's going to vary by state. In my state, it's okay. When we have a learning driver, we don't have them drive when non family members are in the car. |
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back to *pea*ality
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Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Dec 20, 2015 23:36:26 GMT
When DS was learning to drive, only my husband or I were in the car. I think it is irresponsible to have others in the car while someone is learning to drive. First, if there is an accident due to inexperience I am legally liable. Second, having others in the car is a distraction for a new driver.
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momto4kiddos
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Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Dec 20, 2015 23:53:44 GMT
Not at all a fan of permitted drivers driving with other kids in the car regardless of the responsible adult in the car. My youngest (4th child) is permitted so this is my 4th go round and I would never let her drive with a friend in the car with us unless the parent knew. And no I don't want my kid in your car while your kid learns to drive either! In our state you have to be licensed 6 months to have friends in the car.
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