scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Feb 26, 2016 3:32:07 GMT
This is a conversation that seems to come up with my widowed friends fairly often. I don't think its confined to those who are widowed, more like those going through big changes maybe? Its just those are the people I hang around with now Im in the midst of a huge transition and I'm absolutely lost. I was a nurse. I was a wife. I had friends in medical and law enforcement. We camped, we went quad riding, hung out at houses, and I enjoyed my job. I was working my way into a hospital where the goal was to work with Labor and Delivery. I had started school with the goal of being a midwife some day. I have wanted this since I was a little girl. Now all these years later, everything is so different. I don't feel the passion for being a nurse like I did when I started. There are many reasons for this but the honest truth right now is I am a different person than I was almost four years ago. Drastically so. I no longer have the same friends, do the same things etc. I am home with my last child till she graduates which is in roughly a year and giving myself the time I should have from the start to figure things out. This is a pressing question in my world. Im so close to empty nest, yet so far from retirement that I honestly do not have. (young stupid banked on his retirement) So what do I want to be when I grow up? How does one figure this out? I hate the idea of all the hard work I put into getting and keeping my license maybe for nothing. I really don't want more school, but figure its inevitable. I do not want to hide in school like my mom did. I want a clear plan in place, although I have been tempted to get my bachelors degree while Im staying with my daughter. It wouldn't take much and if I do stay in nursing it will be a necessity anyway. Even if I don't stay with nursing, a BSN can branch off to many other things so it seems like the smart thing to do while in limbo. I have to figure out something. I can't be career less for longer than this year to get my daughter through school and even that is going to be very tight. I don't want to be in a panic in a year trying to figure it out. So I figured I would bug the peas to help me figure it out Don't you feel special??
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Post by ntsf on Feb 26, 2016 3:36:14 GMT
the thing about nursing..is there are so many different kinds of nursing. maybe meet with a counselor at a school of nursing? clinic work instead of hospital? school nurse? industrial nurse? public nursing.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Feb 26, 2016 3:46:10 GMT
I wanted to be a teacher from about age 3. My brother was 2 years older and when he started preschool I would hold school in my closet. As a teenager I wanted to be a linguist in the Air Force. I actually did that, but not for as long as I planned. Now I just want to be retired!
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Post by leannec on Feb 26, 2016 3:47:28 GMT
My Mum always said I would be a teacher ... I said "No way!" because I never really liked kids Fast forward 25 years and I was in University to become a teacher ... then I taught for years before going on a leave When I was in high school I had dreams of being a radio DJ ... I have a Diploma in Broadcasting that I have never used because I just couldn't bring myself to move to some backwoods town radio station to start my career
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Post by alexa11 on Feb 26, 2016 4:02:11 GMT
I wanted to be a nurse until high school and then for some reason teaching came to mind. And I taught for 25 years-some enjoyable years and some hellish years. I just did it. My daughter is an RN though, so we do have a nurse in the family.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 26, 2016 4:02:15 GMT
I second wanting to be retired but I'm sure I'm a good decade or more away from that reality. When I was very young, my dream job was to be an Imagineer or animator for Disney. But since that would have required living somewhere where I had no family and knew no one it didn't seem like an achievable goal. I never even took a single formal art class until I was in college.
I'm kind of at a crossroads myself having had my business for going on 20 years, my DH needs me to help out with office work for his growing business (which I don't mind doing, but it's definitely no dream career) and my kid is in school full time now. I never finished college (art school, long story) and really have no desire to spend the money on it now since finishing at this point won't help me accomplish anything or make more money. I do think I need to shift gears and do something different but still related to my skill set, but is it easy figuring out what that something is? Not so much.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 1:41:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2016 4:05:13 GMT
I wanted to be a ballerina and psychologist when I was growing up. I became neither
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
Jun 26, 2014 18:51:17 GMT
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Post by perumbula on Feb 26, 2016 4:09:25 GMT
Growing up I had three main dreams: writing, architecture, and fashion design. I ended up doing none of them. I should have gone to college for either fashion design or architecture but ended up in English. Now I'm a real estate agent. It gets me in houses. I have also done a lot of sewing and designing for my daughters. I designed my oldest dd's wedding dress and prom dresses along with a lot of other things. I haven't sewn quite as much for middle girl because she doesn't get as excited about the project as my oldest did. It did help scratch my design itch.
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scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Feb 26, 2016 4:25:13 GMT
Ive considered different avenues of nursing. Can't find one that promotes being a hermit Funny thing about being a nurse, you actually need patients and interaction with them. Surgery would be an option but I don't even know how to get started in that direction. It seems complicated when I read the job postings for the requirements but that could just be my mushy brain. I have considered something in the counseling realm though.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 1:41:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2016 5:17:46 GMT
This is a conversation that seems to come up with my widowed friends fairly often. I don't think its confined to those who are widowed, more like those going through big changes maybe? Its just those are the people I hang around with now Im in the midst of a huge transition and I'm absolutely lost. I was a nurse. I was a wife. I had friends in medical and law enforcement. We camped, we went quad riding, hung out at houses, and I enjoyed my job. I was working my way into a hospital where the goal was to work with Labor and Delivery. I had started school with the goal of being a midwife some day. I have wanted this since I was a little girl. Now all these years later, everything is so different. I don't feel the passion for being a nurse like I did when I started. There are many reasons for this but the honest truth right now is I am a different person than I was almost four years ago. Drastically so. I no longer have the same friends, do the same things etc. I am home with my last child till she graduates which is in roughly a year and giving myself the time I should have from the start to figure things out. This is a pressing question in my world. Im so close to empty nest, yet so far from retirement that I honestly do not have. (young stupid banked on his retirement) So what do I want to be when I grow up? How does one figure this out? I hate the idea of all the hard work I put into getting and keeping my license maybe for nothing. I really don't want more school, but figure its inevitable. I do not want to hide in school like my mom did. I want a clear plan in place, although I have been tempted to get my bachelors degree while Im staying with my daughter. It wouldn't take much and if I do stay in nursing it will be a necessity anyway. Even if I don't stay with nursing, a BSN can branch off to many other things so it seems like the smart thing to do while in limbo. I have to figure out something. I can't be career less for longer than this year to get my daughter through school and even that is going to be very tight. I don't want to be in a panic in a year trying to figure it out. So I figured I would bug the peas to help me figure it out Don't you feel special?? How do you feel about spending days chatting with geriatric patients about their lives? States have agencies that oversee nursing homes. Teams go out to inspect them. I know in the state of Oklahoma at least, they prefer to hire people with past nursing experience. It is quite a lot of travel involved (with in the state) but no long hours of standing. The team goes in, looks at the facilities, interviews some of the residents about their experiences with their care.
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,411
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
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Post by theshyone on Feb 26, 2016 9:32:15 GMT
If you could find a way to get money and start a niche market for patient advocacy it would thrive. It's such a needed field, in demand field, but I'm not sure who would pay. The vulnerable in need patient would not likely have the funds, but the institution wouldn't pay for you to do best by the patient. I just can't figure out the funding for what I envision. It's impossible as a patient to navigate in the realm of multiple specialties. That's my rant.
From the time I was ten or so and saw Jacques Cousteau diving on a tv show I wanted to do that, my dream was to work with him, or John still man or bob Ballard. I did become a diver but never could figure out how to make a career out of it.
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Post by llinin on Feb 26, 2016 10:58:42 GMT
I'd get your BSN. I have been an ADN for 20 years and am working on mine now. There are some work at home jobs for the insurance companies and such, you could look in to those. I don't really want my BSN or have any idea what I'd really like to do, but figure it can't hurt to get the BSN while I figure it out. Good luck.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 1:41:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2016 12:06:28 GMT
I wanted to be an author and a teacher. I was an English and secondary education major before I got stupid and quit for my now ex-husband.
Now I just want to be more than Mom and have a job that's not a dead end job as a cashier in a gas station which is about all I'm qualified for despite my education.
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Post by whipea on Feb 26, 2016 12:46:49 GMT
Cowboy - grew up in south Florida so no idea were that came from. Then Army man (since women did not have military opportunities back then and I wanted infantry so had to be a man), inventor, scientist or architect. Never wanted to be a mother, get married or be a teacher. Some how and kind of randomly ended up going to graduate school for public admin and for many years was an administrator in the criminal justice system.
I pretty much stuck to the no mother thing and did not get married until I was 59 but that was for financial reasons, I'm such a romantic. As for the teacher aspect I left the criminal justice system and now teach at a university. I earned another degree and now I teach teachers too which is a blast and actually like this line of work better than my field of study.
Have you thought about forensic nursing?
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Post by melanell on Feb 26, 2016 12:50:52 GMT
When I was very little I just wanted to be a mom. As I got older, I wanted to be a published author. And for a time I toyed with the idea of being an English teacher.
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Post by pas2 on Feb 26, 2016 13:05:31 GMT
Funny but I had a student ask me that exact question just the other day. My answer, "I really don't know yet". I wanted to be a reading teacher when I was little but went to college for Business. For the last decade I have worked as a substitute in elementary schools so I guess in a way I am working at my "dream" job.
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Feb 26, 2016 13:45:31 GMT
When I was little, I wanted to be a nurse. Then I had some life experiences that told me I really didn't want to be a nurse so I'd be a doctor. I started in "pre-med" and in year 4 said, "what the hell?" So I have this huge science background that isn't completely useless but close. I chose social work and it's good for me. Is it my dream? Uhhhh, maybe? What I long to do all day is create. I think I'd love to be a florist. I think I'd like to make more money than a florist. I've actually considered going back to school for my BSN. I have a career. I am happy. I'm trying to figure out why it doesn't feel like it.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Feb 26, 2016 13:48:25 GMT
I hate the idea of all the hard work I put into getting and keeping my license maybe for nothing. I have a Master's in Social Work and have not worked actively in a true social work job in 23 years. I have used the skills in other jobs, but sure haven't needed the actual degree. I had always wanted to go to law school. I chose the Master's over that because I also knew I wanted a family and to be a stay-at-home mom. I have wished so many times over the years that I had gone on to law school back then. To help fine-tune your plans, you ought to find a career counselor. If you don't, you may waste time on a path that's not really what you want to do. You have the time now to really examine your options as you are doing with us in this thread. Don't rush that process. Seek some seasoned advice.
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Post by jenjie on Feb 26, 2016 13:56:35 GMT
One of my girlfriends posed a similar question to me. She said something like this, "you went from your father's home and his expectations, to your husband's home and his expectations. Now you get to choose what you want to do and who you want to be. There is a whole world of opportunity!" That was one of the first things that gave me something to look forward to and get excited about.
There is SOMETHING out there for me. I just don't know what it is. The thing that scares me is, I'm afraid it's going to be directly related to these seasons of my husband's illness and my own grief. This was not my dream for myself.
I'm not pursuing anything right now, it's a season of rest for me. And frankly I can't pay attention enough right now to put a whole lot of thought into it. I'm trusting that when it's time I'll be prepared and have a passion for whatever the future holds.
In the next few years I'd like to go to the She Speaks conference for Christian writers and wanna be writers and speakers. I've never gone to college. I could see myself taking classes for maybe Bible and counseling.
We'll see. Right now I'm just doing the next thing. Today that means I'm going to eat breakfast, take my gf to lunch for her birthday, and call someone for advice about buying a car. And try to make plans for the surprise party ds17 wants to throw for dd's sweet 16. He has a whole notebook full of ideas.
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Post by jenjie on Feb 26, 2016 14:06:53 GMT
I hate the idea of all the hard work I put into getting and keeping my license maybe for nothing. I have a Master's in Social Work and have not worked actively in a true social work job in 23 years. I have used the skills in other jobs, but sure haven't needed the actual degree. I had always wanted to go to law school. I chose the Master's over that because I also knew I wanted a family and to be a stay-at-home mom. I have wished so many times over the years that I had gone on to law school back then. To help fine-tune your plans, you ought to find a career counselor. If you don't, you may waste time on a path that's not really what you want to do. You have the time now to really examine your options as you are doing with us in this thread. Don't rush that process. Seek some seasoned advice. Can you explain about a career counselor? My dd is in 10th grade. Academics comes very easily for her. Of all my kids, she is the one who could easily get scholarship money. She tested ridiculously high on PSAT and is getting mail from colleges every day. However, she tells me she's not sure she wants to go to college because she has no idea what she wants to do. A career counselor sounds like someone who might be helpful. Ds17 is the one with the passion but he doesn't have the grades.
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Post by terri on Feb 26, 2016 15:03:06 GMT
A detective - I was heavily influenced by Nancy Drew!
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Feb 26, 2016 15:07:41 GMT
Can you explain about a career counselor? It's a degree program. There are a lot of guidance counselors at schools with varying levels of competency and most areas have life coaches as well. Someone in either of these jobs MIGHT have the skills necessary to help someone explore the best career fit and the path to reach it... or they might not. A career counselor is someone specifically trained to do just that. Here's a link to search for someone in your area.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,230
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Feb 26, 2016 15:37:27 GMT
I wanted to be a librarian. I love reading, organizing, and office supplies. Instead, I'm a NICU RN.
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Post by jenjie on Feb 26, 2016 15:40:51 GMT
Can you explain about a career counselor? It's a degree program. There are a lot of guidance counselors at schools with varying levels of competency and most areas have life coaches as well. Someone in either of these jobs MIGHT have the skills necessary to help someone explore the best career fit and the path to reach it... or they might not. A career counselor is someone specifically trained to do just that. Here's a link to search for someone in your area. [ Excellent thanks!
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Post by jenjie on Feb 26, 2016 15:43:38 GMT
I wanted to be a librarian. I love reading, organizing, and office supplies. Instead, I'm a NICU RN. Ooh I had forgotten all about that! I wanted to be a librarian too. I spent so much time at the library. I was shocked to find out how much schooling you needed just to put books on the shelves and make recommendations. Please forgive me librarian peas. I was a teenager who didn't know better but I had the utmost respect for the children's librarian. I still do all these years later. We are fb friends.
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Post by BoilerUp! on Feb 26, 2016 16:10:43 GMT
I wanted to be a stewardess, but knew I was too short by the standards they used at that time. Then a paralegal until I realized they do all the work for the attorney and don't get compensated as well. Then I started my family . . . Life happened.
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Post by mellowyellow on Feb 26, 2016 16:27:37 GMT
I always wanted to be a nurse....specifically a Life Flight trauma nurse.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Feb 26, 2016 16:30:55 GMT
I wanted to be President. Then I discovered that I was good in math and science and a horrible liar. I'm still willing if the US ever decides it doesn't want someone to just blow sunshine up their arse.
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scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Feb 26, 2016 16:45:11 GMT
Thank you Spongemom!!!! I will look into that as well and thanks to Jenjie for asking She beat me to it. When you really start thinking about it, the possibilities are endless. My grandmother was a librarian and I adore books in all shapes and sizes. I did think about it briefly as a child Then figured I would be too distracted by the books to actually work lol. Ive been in hospital work all my life it seems. It started as a kid in a small rural (or at least it was rural at the time) town and a single mom. The hospital kept us busy. I did things as a kid in the hospital that now would be impossible. But I have very very fond memories of all those things. I was a secretary for the longest time while we had the kids and my husband started his career in law enforcement. I did a two year stint with the police department typing reports. I LOVED IT....but I hated the politics and the bitchfest that came with it. In fact if it wasn't for the politics going on at the time, I probably would have stayed. It was part time, pay was pretty good, and since he already worked full time benefits were covered. I loved listening to the officers stories and since I worked for the same department, I knew quite a few of them already. Its been suggested several times that I work Dispatch, however, one of the things I don't like about nursing is the stress, constant. Dispatch is just as bad if not worse. I prestress the stressful event that may or may not ever show up. This wasn't me before, this is me now. I thought about crime scene photography, mixing my love of photography with the love of Law Enforcement as well. I haven't really written that off yet, I just don't know enough about it or where to start as far as certifications etc. Maybe thats where the career counselors can help?? Then I remembered something last night....bear with me it might get a bit rambly but I will try not to. My last job in CA was as a unit manager for a long term care/acute rehab type facility. The administrator had been there for over 20 years. He really cared for his residents. He retired about 3 months before I left. In the days leading up to his last, he handed me a thick packet. He said that he had been hanging on to it for years and he wished he had done something about it. He stated that he thought I might be interested and let me know what he thought. Its called the Eden Alternative. I read the packet that day and was just astounded that he had sat on it. I went to his office and flat out asked why he waited till the last day to give this to me because had I known, I would have begged him to send me to the orientation. He said he wished he had remembered it sooner. He had wanted to find someone to coordinate it and he would have paid for me to go, but the timing was off. I still have that packet. I still look it up online. There are no facilities near me that use this idea, which would be a good thing if I could figure out how to talk facilities into starting it. maybe I should look into attending the conference on my own, but I think its quite pricey and there is no financial aid anyway its in the mix. I love hearing everyones stories of what they wanted to be and where they ended Keep sharing please
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Post by **Angie** on Feb 26, 2016 16:45:59 GMT
I wanted to be in journalism growing up, but instead I got a degree in interior design.
I worked in the field for 5 years, then became a stay-at-home mom. 12 years later, ds is back in public school, dh has become hypersensitive over money, and I need to find a job to keep dh from going batshit crazy.
Interior design is a "no", I'd have to go back to school to get caught up on all the changes since 1997.
I'd work a retail job, but we figured out that I'd have to make $14 an hour to make it worthwhile. If I could find a legitimate work-from-home job, that would be perfect. With my MS, I can't be on my feet for too long.
I'd love to do something I enjoy, but I'm not seeing any jobs for cross stitching bakers that love to read. :/
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