happymomma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Aug 6, 2014 23:57:56 GMT
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Post by happymomma on Mar 14, 2016 1:38:00 GMT
For those of you who feel that running with a dog or running in a "safe" neighborhood protects you, please read up on the April Milsap case. Horrible, horrible story. This is the exact case I thought of when I read the OP. I have to check in on that case for an update. Last I knew, I *think* the accused was going to trial, but I am not sure if I am confusing cases.
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Post by Merge on Mar 14, 2016 1:43:05 GMT
That's incredibly scary. I'm so glad you are OK.
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Post by pierkiss on Mar 14, 2016 1:50:53 GMT
That is terrifying!!! I'm so sorry this happened to you, and so relieved you reported it! Hopefully your police buddy scares the ever loving shit out of him and he never thinks about doing this kind of shit to anyone again.
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Mar 14, 2016 1:54:59 GMT
You should always trust your gut. I remember a safety expert on Oprah saying your gut never leads you the wrong way. It's always stuck with me.
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Post by littlemama on Mar 14, 2016 2:20:39 GMT
For those of you who feel that running with a dog or running in a "safe" neighborhood protects you, please read up on the April Milsap case. Horrible, horrible story. This is the exact case I thought of when I read the OP. I have to check in on that case for an update. Last I knew, I *think* the accused was going to trial, but I am not sure if I am confusing cases. He was convicted a month or so ago.
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azredhead
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,755
Jun 25, 2014 22:49:18 GMT
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Post by azredhead on Mar 14, 2016 2:33:13 GMT
So scary! My heart was going just reading your story too. Glad you are safe and you reported it! So good to trust your gut! I hope you can take different route on your runs and it doesn't stop you.
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Post by smokeynspike on Mar 14, 2016 2:37:49 GMT
So scary! I'm glad you are okay!
Melissa
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,620
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Mar 14, 2016 15:27:46 GMT
How scary for you!! I'm glad that you're ok and that your policeman friend is going to "make sure he never thinks about doing that again." No offense taken at all! This is what I have been struggling with. Why did I KNOW it was wrong,mbut not call 911? So frustrating. Dd and I went to dinner last night and had a big talk about this. This is NOT the message I want to be sending her. I totally understand why you didn't report him to police immediately. I'm almost certain that I would have rung DSO rather than the police as well, just in case the guy was completely innocent. But if it were my 18yo DD in your situation I'd sure as hell be encouraging her to call police immediately. (And then follow up with a phone call to her 6'4" tough nut father!) Yikes! That really is scary. Someone once followed my sister in law right into her driveway - before the cell phone era. She ran out of her car screaming like a maniac and he got scared and drove away. Very good advice - particularly to trust your gut. That's scary too. But there is NO WAY KNOWN I would drive to my house if some lunatic was following me. Then he would know where I live! I'd be terrified that he'd come back later. I'd do what Tank did and drive to a police station, or ring a male friend/relative to come and meet me at a busy public place. She didn't know she was being followed.
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Post by femalebusiness on Mar 14, 2016 16:08:20 GMT
So glad that you reported him. I taught my daughter, from a young age, to scream and run from anyone who made her uncomfortable. Worry about being wrong and being embarrassed later. Better to be wrong than dead.
One other thing that I never do is park next to a van in a parking lot. If a van is next to me when I come back to my car i will watch it for a while and wait until other people are around before getting into my car.
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Post by gryroagain on Mar 14, 2016 16:22:41 GMT
A long time ago I to,d a story on 2 peas about a walk at midnight with my dog, similar to this. I had gone to a crop, stayed out late, needed to walk my dog when I got home, it was midnight or past- late. Dark. A guy crashed out of the woods and ran at me, and my dog went berserk- she was a rescue who hated men. She knocked him down and would have probably ripped hid throat out but I pulled her away. The guy swore at me and said he was out jogging (in the woods? at midnight through bushes?) and keep my dog muzzled. I was very shaken and went home, and to this day I know that man had bad intensions but my dog stopped him. I know it. Cleo (God rest her soul) knocked him clean over and I still pulled her and apologized of all things, because maybe I was wrong...
I wasn't wrong. You weren't wrong. I am glad you are safe and in retrospect I should have told more than the peas about it because that guy may have hurt someone else.
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Post by STBC on Mar 14, 2016 16:25:39 GMT
I don't have any friends who run. I will be varying my routes more and running more in neighborhoods. I live in the country, so I go to town for running. Oh no - that's so scary! Glad you are safe. Does the town you run in have a running club and/or a running specialty store? They may have organized fun runs or at least, know other runners who are looking to run in a group.
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,664
Jun 25, 2014 19:33:19 GMT
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Post by Rhondito on Mar 14, 2016 16:30:47 GMT
We have a similar park here, with the trail going deep into the woods for about 1/2 a mile. I was once walking the trail and one of the park employees kept following me in one of their carts. I tried walking faster - he sped up; I changed directions - so did he; I got off the trail by a lake hoping he would go around me - he didn't, so I hauled ass, got in my car, and left. It was very unnerving, and I don't think my experience was anything compared to the yours! (OP) It's really sad that women always have to be on guard and skeptical of any man we see while out alone.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,781
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Mar 14, 2016 16:49:03 GMT
I agree. It sucks for us.
As the mother of a son, I also think it sucks for all the innocent boys and men out there.
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Post by M~ on Mar 14, 2016 18:41:31 GMT
Tank Top, I'm glad you're ok. Having said that, I sort of feel that your story vindicates my reluctance to go walking alone in remote areas of the parks that are close to my house (of which there are many). Unfortunately, the parks are all well-lit EXCEPT for the majority of the walking trail, which is stupid to me. So I have always felt uneasy going to walk by myself because well, I don't trust people. I think most crimes are crimes of opportunity, i.e., I'm not really planning on doing something stupid, but if I see a chance, I'll take it kind of thing. I wish there were a walking/running club near my area, but there isn't.
I'm so happy that your friend is going to have a talk with this asshole. UGH.
ETA: I've always wanted a german shepherd for this very reason--even if the dog is a gentle soul, I think most people would reconsider going against a dog.
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Post by littlemama on Mar 14, 2016 19:17:16 GMT
I have noticed how many people have stated that they are safe because "I walk with a dog", "I walk on a popular path through a park", "I live in a small town". I mentioned it upthread, but here is a link to a case that is very local to me: April Millsap CaseIn summary, 14 year old girl from a small town takes her dog for a walk along a very popular local walking/bike trail. There were people on the trail at the time who saw her, yet she was still murdered.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Mar 14, 2016 20:15:51 GMT
I'm glad you are ok! I hope that they scare the guy when they question him.
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Post by lurkingsince2001 on Mar 14, 2016 20:50:32 GMT
We have a lot of trails here, some quite remote, some right beside the road. I always worry when I see people out running or jogging alone with ear buds in seemingly unaware of their surroundings. It would only take a moment to grab them or disable them. It's not unheard of for someone to go missing or get attacked while out here. Sometimes it doesn't even matter if you have a dog or mace... I remember reading of a woman (not local) who was unaware she was being followed and headed on home only for the perp to strike her with his car from behind disabling her for the rest of his attack.
OP, I'm sorry you were traumatized but am glad it wasn't worse. I really hope the cops take care of it and that's the end of it. I'd also recommend not going back there for a while since he knows you run there. It's always a shame when we have to modify our behaviors due to the actions of others but I think it would only be prudent at least for now.
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Post by AussieMeg on Mar 14, 2016 22:51:46 GMT
That's scary too. But there is NO WAY KNOWN I would drive to my house if some lunatic was following me. Then he would know where I live! I'd be terrified that he'd come back later. I'd do what Tank did and drive to a police station, or ring a male friend/relative to come and meet me at a busy public place. She didn't know she was being followed. [/quote] Ah, that explains it. I assumed she knew she was being followed. Good on her for screaming the place down!
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Post by princess consuela on Mar 15, 2016 0:55:01 GMT
That is so scary. Thanks for sharing your story. Don't beat yourself up too much, hindsight is 20/20, right.
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casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,466
Jun 29, 2014 14:40:44 GMT
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Post by casii on Mar 15, 2016 1:58:36 GMT
So scary. I'm glad you are okay and that you reported him.
My DH has more brains than sense, God love him, but he can't understand why I won't just take off and run alone in our local parks because he does it all the time, so it's safe, right? He still thinks this after a young man attempted to assault 2 (two) women running through one of our local parks. They were together and when he couldn't get one to the ground, he went for the other.
This was a 17 yr old young man who was actually in a strength training class with my daughter! She got out of that class as soon as she could. Recently, he was ruled unable to stand trial due to his mental state. Great. He's free, but all the rest of us aren't feeling free to go to our parks.
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Post by magentapea on Mar 15, 2016 2:20:23 GMT
For those of you who feel that running with a dog or running in a "safe" neighborhood or a small town protects you, please read up on the April Millsap case. Horrible, horrible story. That was such a scary, tragic case. It happened not too far from where I live and I was on that trail just the day prior. For those who don't want to search the story, she was a teenage girl from a small town on a well traveled, paved path near her house. She was walking her dog in the late afternoon/early evening. She called her boyfriend during her walk and told him she thought she almost was kidnapped. Then she never arrived home. Some bicyclists (?) found her body just off the path. They found her because her dog was sitting at the edge of the path and led them to her. A man was recently convicted of her murder.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Mar 15, 2016 9:57:59 GMT
That's terrifying.
I'm glad you are okay.
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Post by pastlifepea on Mar 15, 2016 13:47:57 GMT
I agree that it's terrifying and it also angers me that as women, we have to be hyper vigilant and look at every man as someone with the potential to do us harm. It is also sad for the 99.99999% of men out there who would never do anything like that yet have to be looked at as "suspect".
While I don't run, I walk on the local beaches and often go for miles. There are times when I really am just about the only person out there. Access onto and off of the beach is limited because of the cliffs/dunes terrain but I still am always very aware of what is going on around me. I don't wear ear buds because of this but also because I have no desire to get struck and pulled out to sea by a large sneaker wave.
I carry a pocket knife with about a 3 inch locking blade. Will it work against someone with a stun gun or a real firearm? No, probably not but I would do everything I could to fight someone attacking me. I have zero problem cutting someone who means me harm. Even being threatened with a firearm, I would not willingly go along with anyone because I know that what would happen to me if I were abducted would likely be far worse than if I stand, fight, and make a great big noisy fuss, which for some reason is not something that would-be assaulters are big fans of.
My other strategy has been to make friends with the mostly Filipino older guys that are out fishing early in the mornings. I've brought them cookies and always ask them about how the fishing is going and what they've caught. I figure if they kind of know me they are far more likely to notice and object if someone is bothering me.
You absolutely did the right thing reporting this! I think we often second guess ourselves due to a fear of seeming overly paranoid or not wanting someone to get their feelings hurt. Trust me, local law enforcement would much rather hurt many someone's feelings than be investigating an assault, disappearance, or worse.
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Post by whopea on Mar 15, 2016 13:53:32 GMT
So glad you trusted your instincts. That was scary!
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,792
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Mar 15, 2016 14:32:13 GMT
So glad you listened to your gut! Very important to be aware of your surroundings, too. Glad you are ok and that you reported it. I have had 2 instances that I listened to my gut. Both time were way before cell phones. Once was when I was just a teenager, driving home from work after 9pm. It was dark, and I noticed this car following me. I did not head straight home after I noticed it, I just kept turning to see if it continued. When it did, I headed to the police station and pulled in. One thing I did not do was go into the station and let them know I was followed. Once I pulled in, that car left. I stayed in the lot for a while to see where that car went. Once it was gone, I left and went home. The second time was early 20's. Again, I left work at night and was taking the city bus to and from work at that point (cheaper). I got off the bus and started to walk home. A car goes by and slows down. As I watch it turn the corner, I took off running through a church parking lot and a back yard. On a side street I was walking and paying attention, I saw the car coming so I jumped behind a garbage dumpster. Waited for the car to drive by, it was going really slow! Once it got by me, I took off running again until I got home. I was so scared that day! From then on, if I worked until closing, my boss walked me home or I drove my car. He didn't live far from me, so no big deal for him.
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