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Post by craftmepink on Apr 9, 2016 0:02:11 GMT
I have a friend who likes to text me every single day and frankly, I don't want to respond to her every comment every single day. I'm just really busy sometimes and honestly what she texts is not life or death. So, how can you tell a friend (nicely) to stop texting you so much without sounding rude? Friend is pretty sensitive. I like my space and prefer not to talk to her everyday.
I hope I don't sound mean or anything. It's just that I'm a real introvert and sometimes communicating with certain people is exhausting to me. And the constant text messages annoy me.
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Post by Zee on Apr 9, 2016 0:06:40 GMT
There are auto-respond apps that will say "driving", etc, but I don't know if you can set them up to respond to just her.
If she's a good friend, I'd just tell her all the texts are killing you. If she's not that great of a friend, I'd keep ignoring them. Eventually she'll figure it out.
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Post by annabella on Apr 9, 2016 0:09:27 GMT
I would just be honest and tell you love her dearly but you don't have time to text, but once or twice a week for a real conversation.
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Post by Zee on Apr 9, 2016 0:09:31 GMT
Just did the briefest of searches and yes, there are apps that can auto respond to certain numbers. You could have it say "This person is not currently receiving text messages" but that would probably guarantee a phone call, which is worse IMO!
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Post by bdhudak on Apr 9, 2016 0:09:40 GMT
If it was important she would CALL you. A text is just a comment and you don't have to engage. Treat it like a message on your answering machine. You get to it when you can, if it warrants a return message.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 18:25:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2016 0:11:25 GMT
Just don't respond every day. By responding to every text you're showing her it's ok.
I have my texts set up so it doesn't show as "read", that way I don't feel pressure to respond right away.
If she asks, you were busy all day and didn't have a chance to respond.
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kate
Drama Llama
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Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Apr 9, 2016 0:13:38 GMT
You don't have to respond to her texts every day. I would start with that because it's what you can do, rather than trying to convince her to stop texting. If she gets annoyed, you just shrug and tell her later, "Some days, I don't check my texts much," or "Some days, I'm just not up for texting." No big deal. I speak from experience, because I'm sometimes bad about responding to texts/emails/phone messages. My real friends still love me. I do have a colleague who is a bit of a spreadsheet keeper and fusses at me if I respond to "some people's messages and not others'." I use the above method... Lather, rinse, repeat.
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Post by fkawitchypea on Apr 9, 2016 0:14:47 GMT
I think that not responding to her texts every day will be enough to show that you are not up for every day conversations.
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pudgygroundhog
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Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Apr 9, 2016 0:17:22 GMT
Do you respond to every text? I would first start by not responding. If she says something just tell her you've been busy that day or didn't spend much time on your phone.
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Post by myshelly on Apr 9, 2016 0:19:51 GMT
Just don't respond when you can't respond.
Why is it a big deal?
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Post by myshelly on Apr 9, 2016 0:20:09 GMT
If it was important she would CALL you. A text is just a comment and you don't have to engage. Treat it like a message on your answering machine. You get to it when you can, if it warrants a return message. Meh, I don't call anyone for anything.
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Post by craftmepink on Apr 9, 2016 0:21:46 GMT
Do you respond to every text? I would first start by not responding. If she says something just tell her you've been busy that day or didn't spend much time on your phone. No, I don't respond to her every text. The problem is, she will keep texting me until she gets a response from me. I will ignore the texts sometimes for a couple days but she keeps texting me.
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Post by fkawitchypea on Apr 9, 2016 0:26:01 GMT
Well....I don't know how you are with your girlfriends, but I text with mine every couple of days. Whether it's a "hey guess what just happened" or a "hey how is your week going", that's just how we are. Apparently you don't want a friendship like this. You should tell her. Be prepared to have some hurt feelings.
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Post by craftmepink on Apr 9, 2016 0:36:01 GMT
Well....I don't know how you are with your girlfriends, but I text with mine every couple of days. Whether it's a "hey guess what just happened" or a "hey how is your week going", that's just how we are. Apparently you don't want a friendship like this. You should tell her. Be prepared to have some hurt feelings. Uh okay, to clarify, the texts she sends consists of..."ate this...saw this...went here..." as in a daily rambling of her life via text. It's not like I don't want a friendship with her.
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Post by kristi on Apr 9, 2016 0:40:26 GMT
I have my phone on silent & am not always aware when I get texts. My battery drains frequently & I am unable to check texts. I have my phone on do not disturb from 9 pm to 7 am (minus certain family members).
Don't respond to her texts & use the reasons above if needed.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 9, 2016 0:42:16 GMT
Can you tell her that you are changing cellphone plans and have limited texts? That way, it's nothing on her personally. Not sure if there still are companies that limit texts though. From what I know, talk/text is unlimited but data is not.
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Post by dewryce on Apr 9, 2016 0:50:46 GMT
I would be honest and direct and tell her that you're not much of a texter.
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PLurker
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Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Apr 9, 2016 1:21:43 GMT
I would be honest and direct and tell her that you're not much of a texter. If you don't mind receiving and reading but don't want to reply every time, tell her. Or whatever is the truth. "I'm not a big texter, I don't mind reading but please know I won't always reply if not necessary" is much better than being ignored and not knowing why. Just tell her how you feel.
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Post by myshelly on Apr 9, 2016 1:25:59 GMT
I guess I still just don't understand why it's a problem requiring a reaction.
Answer her when you want to, don't when you don't.
It's not a big deal.
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Post by chaosisapony on Apr 9, 2016 1:38:00 GMT
I went through this a couple years ago with a couple of people. What I wound up doing was telling the problem friends that I don't have a phone plan with unlimited texts. I also let them know I don't keep my phone on me at all times and I will get back to them when I get around to it. But if I go over my text allotment it will cost me extra money, so please be easy with the texting! I do have a plan with unlimited texting now but when I told them that I didn't and it really got them to keep the texts to a minimum.
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Post by monklady123 on Apr 9, 2016 1:45:11 GMT
You could just ignore most of the texts, or all of them if you really don't want to engage that way. I cured a friend of this by never responding to her texts. Well, I guess I still do but only rarely. She'd text me things like "waiting for the bus...." or "walking to the grocery store..." Truly I am not interested in either of those events. oy Now if she texts something like "you said to remind you to bring xyz to the meeting tomorrow..." then I'm likely to respond "thanks".
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NoWomanNoCry
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Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Apr 9, 2016 1:48:34 GMT
I'm currently in the "don't want to respond back" to people mood at the moment and I don't see the big deal about just ignoring the text. When you want to text back text her.
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Post by CarolT on Apr 9, 2016 1:52:59 GMT
I just don't respond to every text from over-testers. I have a friend who will text me multiple times a day. When it's things like "the line at Starbucks is so long", "I love Bruce Springsteen", or "chocolate is the greatest thing ever created", I don't feel a need to reply.
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Deleted
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May 15, 2024 18:25:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2016 1:58:28 GMT
I stick to emojis when replying to constant texted. Just text a smiley face or thumbs up to everything unless it's a question.
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Post by maryland on Apr 9, 2016 2:11:57 GMT
Do you respond to every text? I would first start by not responding. If she says something just tell her you've been busy that day or didn't spend much time on your phone. That's a good answer! My friends know I usually don't have my phone with me, so if it's important, they call. They may still text, but know that I probably won't answer as I may not check the phone that day. Also, texting is hard for me. I think it's my phone, a samsung, because even my teens think it's hard to text on my phone.
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Deleted
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May 15, 2024 18:25:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2016 2:33:11 GMT
I'm the friend who does not answer with any speed in our circle. And because I'm consistent about not replying (unless we're meeting and my friend texts "I'm running late" or "where are you?"), they think nothing of it.
You can do it easily. When the texting craze first started and folks were kinda on my case about the lack of a response, I told them the truth: My phone is on vibrate in my purse and I'm in my office, working, on the other side of the house.
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Post by melodyesch on Apr 9, 2016 2:33:49 GMT
That would drive me nuts and I'd have to say something. My friends and I will text but only if we have something that we truly think the other one would care about. I don't care if you're waiting at the bus stop or standing in line at the grocery store. Unless you're waiting at the bus stop and someone flashed you or you are standing in the grocery line behind the hottest guy ever. I don't want to have to stop and check my phone for repetitive stupid comments. And I don't know if it's a repetitive stupid comment unless I check.
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Post by peasapie on Apr 9, 2016 2:39:34 GMT
Just don't answer for a day or so each time. She might not be expecting an immediate response and, even if she is, she will quickly learn you aren't checking texts regularly.
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caangel
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Post by caangel on Apr 9, 2016 2:44:26 GMT
On my phone I can give numbers their own notification sound, ie my dh has his own sound for texts so that I know it is him just by the sound. Can you just make hers no sound/turn her notifications off? At least then it wouldn't be as annoying on your end. Assuming you have those notifications on.
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Post by anniefb on Apr 9, 2016 2:59:06 GMT
Just don't answer for a day or so each time. She might not be expecting an immediate response and, even if she is, she will quickly learn you aren't checking texts regularly.
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