|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on Apr 11, 2016 1:24:28 GMT
I thought about this last week, but in regards to politicians. In one of the political threads, many said that it is not a deal breaker or that big of a deal (voting) in regards to politicians who have/had affairs.
Reading through iamkristen's thread, most would distance themselves from some that they were friends with or family if there were affairs.
Why is it different?
To me, it's a matter of integrity, trust, and truthfulness...
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Apr 11, 2016 1:34:53 GMT
I don't deal with the polician on a daily basis.
|
|
|
Post by chaosisapony on Apr 11, 2016 1:35:35 GMT
A politician is not my friend or family member. I need them to do their job and that's it, I don't have to agree with their morals.
|
|
|
Post by myshelly on Apr 11, 2016 1:41:01 GMT
I think it's just a matter of practicality.
We don't have that many choices when it comes to politicians.
There are often only two contenders for a position on the ballot. If I have to choose between one who has had an affair versus one I disagree with on the issues, I have to choose the one who has had an affair.
I also believe that we as a society don't and shouldn't legislate morality, so I don't necessarily need to agree with a candidate's moral choices.
|
|
georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
|
Post by georgiapea on Apr 11, 2016 1:43:04 GMT
If a friend worked at a store I regularly shopped at had an affair I wouldn't boycott the store, even if I distanced myself from the friendship.
|
|
|
Post by jackie on Apr 11, 2016 1:47:11 GMT
I think it's because people base their interpersonal relationships on things like trust, like mindedness, integrity, etc. People base their relationships with politicians on their policies and what they plan to accomplish in office. It's easier to overlook the affairs when you are looking at someone for something so different.
For me, I can forgive cheating in my personal relationships AND my political relationships. I don't judge people based on the worst thing they've ever done--I judge people based on the whole package. That's true of everyone.
|
|
Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,706
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
|
Post by Dani-Mani on Apr 11, 2016 2:12:56 GMT
What does a/o mean?
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on Apr 11, 2016 2:45:44 GMT
I tried changing it to s/o but apparently it did not take!
|
|
|
Post by mom on Apr 11, 2016 2:46:09 GMT
A politician is not my friend or family member. I need them to do their job and that's it, I don't have to agree with their morals. This. I have no trust built into a politician. My family and friends are people who I trust in my life and my families life.
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on Apr 11, 2016 2:47:14 GMT
A politician is not my friend or family member. I need them to do their job and that's it, I don't have to agree with their morals. This is what I was pondering. I get that they are not family or even close to us, it more that if they are not moral in that sense,how does one reconcile that?
|
|
kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,516
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
|
Post by kate on Apr 11, 2016 3:27:06 GMT
This is what I was pondering. I get that they are not family or even close to us, it more that if they are not moral in that sense,how does one reconcile that? You're right: it's complicated! I hated that Rudy Giuliani had his gf riding with him in a parade before he was divorced from his wife. It just seemed so awful and insulting - like he was flaunting his behavior. I hated that Bill Clinton was fooling around with an intern - I would have had less of a problem if it had been someone more on his par in terms of age/power. In general, though, if a politician is fooling around discreetly, it certainly makes them a jerk, but it wouldn't necessarily keep me from voting for them.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 8, 2024 2:17:57 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2016 6:13:53 GMT
Because people are hypocrites Many people on that affair thread are probably christians too and I'm sure there's a story with Jesus and the adulterous woman In 2016 you don't stone them, you just give them the cold shoulder at the game
|
|
|
Post by mommaho on Apr 11, 2016 10:50:21 GMT
I guess it makes a difference if you have experienced an affair first hand.
My personal opinion is if he/she doesn't have the morals to realize what he/she is doing to another person isn't right, how can I believe in the political agenda they put forth?
|
|
|
Post by jackie on Apr 11, 2016 12:47:43 GMT
This is what I was pondering. I get that they are not family or even close to us, it more that if they are not moral in that sense,how does one reconcile that? You're right: it's complicated! I hated that Rudy Giuliani had his gf riding with him in a parade before he was divorced from his wife. It just seemed so awful and insulting - like he was flaunting his behavior. I hated that Bill Clinton was fooling around with an intern - I would have had less of a problem if it had been someone more on his par in terms of age/power. In general, though, if a politician is fooling around discreetly, it certainly makes them a jerk, but it wouldn't necessarily keep me from voting for them. Well first, I don't know if you can say someone is "not moral" if they've cheated. Morality is based on a lot of things IMO, not how one behaves in one situation. I think everyone at some point in their lives has done something they shouldn't--whether they are a moral or immoral person shouldn't be based on that one thing. That's how I feel. As far as how I would reconcile that, I would reconcile it but considering that the person is hired to do a job and as long as they do that job, then that's all I care about. It's a bonus when they're what I consider a good person (and cheating doesn't negate that), and that I like them, but it's not a necessity. It's like the relationship I have with my manager at work. She's a great manager--she's fair with me and the other employees, guides us when needed, keeps us informed--all the things a good manager should do. If I found out somehow that she was unfaithful to her husband, does that matter? It doesn't change that she does what she's supposed to do for me; it only impacts her relationship with her husband, and that's not my business.
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on Apr 11, 2016 12:52:56 GMT
You're right: it's complicated! I hated that Rudy Giuliani had his gf riding with him in a parade before he was divorced from his wife. It just seemed so awful and insulting - like he was flaunting his behavior. I hated that Bill Clinton was fooling around with an intern - I would have had less of a problem if it had been someone more on his par in terms of age/power. In general, though, if a politician is fooling around discreetly, it certainly makes them a jerk, but it wouldn't necessarily keep me from voting for them. Well first, I don't know if you can say someone is "not moral" if they've cheated. Morality is based on a lot of things IMO, not how one behaves in one situation. I think everyone at some point in their lives has done something they shouldn't--whether they are a moral or immoral person shouldn't be based on that one thing. That's how I feel. As far as how I would reconcile that, I would reconcile it but considering that the person is hired to do a job and as long as they do that job, then that's all I care about. It's a bonus when they're what I consider a good person (and cheating doesn't negate that), and that I like them, but it's not a necessity. It's like the relationship I have with my manager at work. She's a great manager--she's fair with me and the other employees, guides us when needed, keeps us informed--all the things a good manager should do. If I found out somehow that she was unfaithful to her husband, does that matter? It doesn't change that she does what she's supposed to do for me; it only impacts her relationship with her husband, and that's not my business. Thinking of morals coming from a political person who is extolling Christian values and also has been/is adulterous !
|
|
flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
|
Post by flute4peace on Apr 11, 2016 13:28:49 GMT
I guess it makes a difference if you have experienced an affair first hand. My personal opinion is if he/she doesn't have the morals to realize what he/she is doing to another person isn't right, how can I believe in the political agenda they put forth? Bingo!
This is it for me, too.
|
|
Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
|
Post by Dalai Mama on Apr 11, 2016 13:42:29 GMT
I thought about this last week, but in regards to politicians. In one of the political threads, many said that it is not a deal breaker or that big of a deal (voting) in regards to politicians who have/had affairs. Reading through iamkristen's thread, most would distance themselves from some that they were friends with or family if there were affairs. Why is it different? To me, it's a matter of integrity, trust, and truthfulness... I don't trust politicians to begin with but I need to be able to trust my friends.
For me, politics is business; friendship is personal.
|
|
~Lauren~
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,876
Jun 26, 2014 3:33:18 GMT
|
Post by ~Lauren~ on Apr 11, 2016 17:03:24 GMT
That
|
|
|
Post by whopea on Apr 11, 2016 17:08:23 GMT
I think it's because people base their interpersonal relationships on things like trust, like mindedness, integrity, etc. People base their relationships with politicians on their policies and what they plan to accomplish in office. It's easier to overlook the affairs when you are looking at someone for something so different. For me, I can forgive cheating in my personal relationships AND my political relationships. I don't judge people based on the worst thing they've ever done--I judge people based on the whole package. That's true of everyone. I agree with this. A person is not one singular episode in their life.
|
|
Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,644
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
|
Post by Anita on Apr 11, 2016 18:26:33 GMT
I'm kind of the opposite. I have a good friend who cheated on her husband. I didn't like it or condone it, but I'm not throwing 40 years of friendship away because of a period in her life when she was making bad decisions. Honestly, at that point, she really needed a friend. A politician holding him/herself up as a family man/woman being busted as a cheater? I have zero use for that person. Doubly so for those who want to legislate others' morality. In fact, there is a special place in hell for that last type. I suppose I can more easily find forgiveness for those who mean something to me.
|
|
used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,036
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
|
Post by used2scrap on Apr 11, 2016 18:28:32 GMT
We judge criminals, DUIs, rapists, child molesters, thieves by their worst moments...but adulterers apparently get a free pass? If your actions don't define you, then what exactly does? Seems to me most people look the other way on adultery because deep down on some level people think those cheated on do/did something to "deserve" it. Um no, if you are an abusive/distant/awful spouse, you "deserve" your partner to tell you their issues with you, a chance to work on it, then a divorce like grown ups if it doesn't work out...not to be lied to and about, betrayed and physically and emotionally endangered.
And for what it's worth, if someone is willing to lie to and betray their spouse whom they made VOWS and their children, they are quite willing to lie and cheat to get ahead/cover their ass in the work place or within a friendship..adultery doesn't happen in a magical character vacuum.
|
|
|
Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 11, 2016 18:32:33 GMT
I'm kind of the opposite. I have a good friend who cheated on her husband. I didn't like it or condone it, but I'm not throwing 40 years of friendship away because of a period in her life when she was making bad decisions. Honestly, at that point, she really needed a friend. A politician holding him/herself up as a family man/woman being busted as a cheater? I have zero use for that person. Doubly so for those who want to legislate others' morality. In fact, there is a special place in hell for that last type. I suppose I can more easily find forgiveness for those who mean something to me. I agree with this. For me, when I know someone, I know their heart. I know if they feel guilt or regret. I can absolve them of a mistake if they seek forgiveness. Politicians are so slimy most of the time. I expect them to lie, steal, and cheat. But if they are holding themselves out as a moral figure and pandering to a conservative base I have very little compassion for them. I see them as being holier than thou, until they get caught. I have no respect for that fool.
|
|
|
Post by auntkelly on Apr 11, 2016 18:55:07 GMT
I think it's a big deal when a politician has an affair, especially while they are in office, because it makes the politician vulnerable to blackmail.
I'd think twice about voting to re-elect a candidate who had an affair while in office not so much because of the moral issues, but more so because it is very reckless and irresponsible for a public official to have an affair while in office because of the blackmail issue.
|
|
|
Post by woodysbetty on Apr 11, 2016 19:59:21 GMT
I think it's because people base their interpersonal relationships on things like trust, like mindedness, integrity, etc. People base their relationships with politicians on their policies and what they plan to accomplish in office. It's easier to overlook the affairs when you are looking at someone for something so different. For me, I can forgive cheating in my personal relationships AND my political relationships. I don't judge people based on the worst thing they've ever done--I judge people based on the whole package. That's true of everyone. You are pretty amazing...what a lovely perspective...
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 8, 2024 2:17:57 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2016 20:19:52 GMT
I want to be there for my friends, especially when they need me the most. We've all done things wrong and made bad decisions. I don't know the reasons or decisions behind an affair -- I really don't know what's going on in their bedrooms. My friends tend to be a lot like me, and I might even be able to understand why and not be terribly judgmental about it.
As for politicians, affairs don't bother me unless the politician is publicly being a hypocrite by standing for a false morality as part of their job. In that case, I'll judge.
|
|
|
Post by lucyg on Apr 11, 2016 21:15:55 GMT
We judge criminals, DUIs, rapists, child molesters, thieves by their worst moments...but adulterers apparently get a free pass? If your actions don't define you, then what exactly does? Seems to me most people look the other way on adultery because deep down on some level people think those cheated on do/did something to "deserve" it. Um no, if you are an abusive/distant/awful spouse, you "deserve" your partner to tell you their issues with you, a chance to work on it, then a divorce like grown ups if it doesn't work out...not to be lied to and about, betrayed and physically and emotionally endangered. And for what it's worth, if someone is willing to lie to and betray their spouse whom they made VOWS and their children, they are quite willing to lie and cheat to get ahead/cover their ass in the work place or within a friendship..adultery doesn't happen in a magical character vacuum. Yes, but DUI, rape, child molestation, thievery are all crimes. At this time, adultery is not a crime. It has been in the past but we as a society have chosen not to legislate this kind of morality anymore (may still be in some states, for all I know, but I doubt it's enforced because who would want to?). I don't think people let it go because they believe the victim somehow "deserved" it. I think it's because most people realize the flesh is weak, people stumble and pick themselves up again, and most likely a much larger percentage of married people than we ever know about do cheat at some time or another, but don't get caught or leave their marriages. So most people, understanding human frailty, accept it and move on, if the situation doesn't affect them directly. I know that I am less than perfect (not cheating related!), and I don't have the energy to decide whose moral failings are acceptable, and whose aren't. Finally, I think you may well be wrong that adultery doesn't happen in a magical character vacuum, in many cases, anyway. Like it or not, cheating on your partner seems to be in a class of its own. Plenty of people who have affairs wouldn't dream of cheating on their taxes, robbing a bank, beating their wives and children, stealing from their business partners, etc. Some may, for sure ... but I don't think they go hand-in-hand. The evidence is all around us.
|
|
|
Post by pierkiss on Apr 11, 2016 21:26:11 GMT
I do not have a close personal relationship withy politician. I want to know where they stand on subjects that are important to me, and I want to know that when they go to work they are actually working to accomplish something, not just pissing away my money. Beyond that I don't give two figs who they invite into their bedrooms.
Friends I have to deal with on a daily or weekly basis. I have to listen to their problems and I have to share things with them. I want to know if their values match up with mine.
|
|
StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,664
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
|
Post by StephDRebel on Apr 11, 2016 21:37:00 GMT
I feel like I know that politicians are sleazeballs and not people that I want anything to do with..and there is a 100% chance they aren't going to ruin our friendship by trying to blow my husband.
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on Apr 11, 2016 22:48:18 GMT
I can't say how I will deal with a person until I'm in that situation. As someone who has been cheated on I find it is very hurtful behavior. BUT my relationships to others don't exist in vacuums so while I'd be hurt, dissapointed my reaction in a friendship would depend in many many other factors.
As for politicians all I can say ( especially now ) is that all information I have goes into what has become a complicated process of determining whom I Can live with voting for. And at the moment a random affair is pretty low on my list.
( I judged Bill Clinton harshly because of the age /power difference and the fact that he took advantage of that and any other random ceo would have been charged with sexual harassment for similar actions. ALSO I do not like how she was villainized and destroyed in public. That to me said a whole lot more about the clintons than it did about Monica Lewinsky.
|
|
Rainbow
Pearl Clutcher
Where salt is in the air and sand is at my feet...
Posts: 4,103
Jun 26, 2014 5:57:41 GMT
|
Post by Rainbow on Apr 11, 2016 22:58:14 GMT
I'd never trust them again. Ever.
|
|