Post by ladytrisha on Apr 15, 2016 21:00:14 GMT
So some of you might remember the fact my MIL has Alzheimer's and we've been in a battle since early 2015, most of it spent trying to get her out of the car she drives with a loose cat running around in it!
We finally got to court for the conservatorship hearing last Monday. There the judge launched into a whole dialog about no one really wants this, family gatherings will never be the same, yada yada.
The case was settled by a settlement judge after that and as our attorney said, it's not even close to what we wanted, but we now finally have something in writing and we can work thru it (ie, you'll pay me more trust money).
And we STILL can't get the damn car away from her.
We have tried disabling it (she got it fixed);
Conferred with law enforcement friends - you simply can't take it and hide it unless you want to go to jail;
Conferred with DMV in person and online - most improved Ca. agency by far, but aside from confirming suspension of license, not much else to offer.
So in the settlement it was ordered that my hubby would take his mother to the DMV for a retest because she has been driving on that suspended license since October 2015.
We called the DMV and they said "nope, that window closed". Huh?
We discovered that she's ignored 2 previous letters and just refused to accept delivery of the 3rd and final notice from the DMV to her. She is supposed to have gone in for a DMV administrative hearing and she didn't. Refusing the last notice is a biggie (thank goodness)
So, according to our cop friend, she should get her license permanently revoked next week (because it was suspended due to her dementia/alzheimer's). It looks like hubby will need to drive 200 miles, grab his mother, and take her to the DMV so she can stand there while they give him the confirmation. FINALLY, then our attorney will file a motion with the court to have the car/keys returned due to final revokement.
We have discovered that the trust was defective in SO many ways and us getting her help is the biggie. Please review your estate planning documents and review them every year and make sure the Power of Attorney is someone still breathing (hers wasn't) and that the health care directive is someone living (again, hers wasn't) and that it is clear what is exactly needed for a Dr. to write to get help.
The one good thing about the settlement is that because no one mentioned her mental state, hubby can go in as co-trustee with his attorney and her broker and fix all the tax mistakes that were made so that she'll have more money clear and available for her care.
But no one should have to go thru what we've gone thru. If my BIL had let us see the documents, this all would have been avoided. But he hid them - and he has refused to get involved in all of this "because there wasn't anything in it for him".
Meanwhile, hubby can't work (knee replacement), ran out of state disability, worker's comp case denied (as usual) and is now trying to get unemployment - as well as deal with his bitchy mother who happens to have dementia.
Now check your documents!! LOL
