Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 4:13:32 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 14, 2016 0:19:21 GMT
I watched my mother do nothing because my dad wouldn't do stuff. My mother-in-law went to church and shopping but otherwise did nothing without my FIL.
I realized early on that my husband did not do things that I thought would be fun or our children would enjoy. We did a few beach trips together but that was it. I wanted to try camping, he refused. I took the kids and for the most part we had a good time. I took the kids to the beach for short stays and we ultimately found we enjoyed day trips fun so we did 2 or three of those a year for a time (it's a 3 hour drive for us to the beach). We took several day trips to D.C. (2 hours away). All that walking is something he is also not interested in.
I went with my daughter to NYC last fall. I'm going with her to Denver this summer. He has no interest in doing either. I refuse to miss out on these opportunities because my husband isn't inclined to participate with us.
Even now, I rack my brain trying to come up with things the two of us can do now that our son is about to be 18. We could actually go away overnight or 2. But everything I bring up, he dismisses. He is either not interested or doesn't want to spend the money.
I wish it were different but I'm not going to sit home twiddling my thumbs waiting for him to say "let's go!"
|
|
milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,435
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
|
Post by milocat on May 14, 2016 0:40:19 GMT
My husband is a workaholic and comes on one 7-9 day vacation a year. We go somewhere warm in the winter. And then usually one weekend trip to the mountains, 4 hours away. He won't go on summer vacation and there is no when in heck the kids and I are staying home a flipping summer. So we go without him. We've gone to Disneyland and Arizona in the winter without him too. We've gone to the city for the weekend without him. I'll go with friends also. But if he has no desire to go and I love to ho why force one of us to do what we don't want to do?
|
|
|
Post by beachbum on May 14, 2016 0:49:59 GMT
When I was teaching I had time off that he didn't have, so I would take trips with friends. Spring break and a week after school ended for the summer were beach trips for me, whatever kids were left at home, and friends with their kids. We took a family vacation with DH later in the summer. He was fine with it, in fact the first time he said - "Let me get this straight - you're going to the beach, taking all the kids, leaving me here all by myself - for a whole week?" Me - "Yes" Him - "Can you stay for 2 weeks???" LOL!! He enjoyed his peace and quiet! Our 3 kids made a lot of noise!
|
|
|
Post by scrapmaven on May 14, 2016 0:56:05 GMT
We go w/dh. It's not as much fun w/o him.
|
|
|
Post by lisae on May 14, 2016 1:06:22 GMT
I don't have kids but I have taken trips without my spouse. I used to extend business trips to see the sights in whatever city I was in. Sometimes he joined me but mostly not as he was working or just didn't want to have the extra expense. My parents also used to have a place in the mountains that I would go by myself quite a bit. We also made trips there together. I really enjoyed my alone weekends though.
|
|
|
Post by Meri-Lyn on May 14, 2016 1:36:09 GMT
No kids here either. DH is not much of a traveler, he is stuck in his ways. We do a girlfriends trip about once a year. We're hoping this year to get to NYC for Christmas. Dh would be bored out of his mind with something like that.
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 14, 2016 1:42:39 GMT
Yes, I could, and have!
|
|
|
Post by smokeynspike on May 14, 2016 1:55:26 GMT
I go on vacation without my spouse a couple of times a year, with no hard feelings. He doesn't really care to go visit my parents as often as I do and that's OK!
Melissa
|
|
caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
|
Post by caro on May 14, 2016 1:58:25 GMT
I have but mostly we vacationed as a family. Now we are in a different stage of life where we visit grandkids or go on vacations with kids and grandkids.
|
|
|
Post by Sassenach on May 14, 2016 2:04:42 GMT
I prefer to take vacations with DH, but he is a bit of a workaholic and considers a 4 day weekend a vacation. Our compromise is to have him join us at the beginning or end of a vacation for a few days if we can. The kids & I might go for 3 weeks and he'll join us for the last week. He has also flown in and out for a couple of weekends when we are away for a longer trip. This is exactly the way we do it. Everyone wins this way
|
|
|
Post by Miss Lerins Momma on May 14, 2016 2:08:44 GMT
I think out of all the spring break trips we've ever been on (like 6?), DH went for one. He races and races start right around spring break, so he doesn't go bc he will miss that. We go without him, take lots of pics and have a great time! It works for us!
|
|
Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,947
Location: North Idaho
Jul 1, 2014 23:30:44 GMT
|
Post by Nink on May 14, 2016 2:12:20 GMT
We've taken lots of separate vacations. He likes to camp and fish and I like to go visit my family.
|
|
|
Post by kristi on May 14, 2016 2:45:32 GMT
My husband works a lot & doesn't have as much flexibility as the kids & I do. I fly out of state with the kids at least once a year. We also take day/weekend trips without him to Tahoe, San Francisco, Disney... I actually travel a bit alone with my son for all his out of town soccer tournaments on the weekends. My husband does go on Thanksgiving, Spring Break & 1 week summer vacation with us. I enjoy traveling as do my kids. My philosophy is that they are growing up & will be heading to college/getting married. The more memories we make together the better
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on May 14, 2016 2:45:57 GMT
We go w/dh. It's not as much fun w/o him. I can see that, but what if you can't go at all (with the perks the OP described) since he is at work during these times?
|
|
|
Post by kluski on May 14, 2016 2:54:16 GMT
Yes, for sure. That kind of stuff is a no brainier however more costly things I won't do without him. And while I know part of him would love to join us on our summer adventures, he is also happy that we stay busy and dd is social through the summer. Weekends are for family though.
I will say, he has no interest in traveling outside the US, so at some point I will have to find a travel buddy to see some of the places I would like to go. It will be wierd to go without him but he doesn't share that interest with me.
|
|
|
Post by **GypsyGirl** on May 14, 2016 3:09:31 GMT
DH and I have taken separate vacations the entire 39 years we've been married. I've done many with just DD as well. When we were expats, she and I did most of our traveling w/o DH as we would leave before him on home leave and return after he did. After years of that, we always found him a bit of a problem when flying because we had our own system and routine. He was so used to be in charge at work and didn't always follow the plan!
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on May 14, 2016 3:12:48 GMT
DH and I have taken separate vacations the entire 39 years we've been married. I've done many with just DD as well. When we were expats, she and I did most of our traveling w/o DH as we would leave before him on home leave and return after he did. After years of that, we always found him a bit of a problem when flying because we had our own system and routine. He was so used to be in charge at work and didn't always follow the plan! That happens regardless of the situation!
|
|
|
Post by cmpeter on May 14, 2016 3:14:22 GMT
Yes, the kids and I go without him sometimes. Sometimes he will go somewhere with one of the kids without me. I go places with just my friends and he does too.
|
|
mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
|
Post by mallie on May 14, 2016 3:32:50 GMT
You bet I do! I have traveled with girlfriends and my daughters (in various combinations) without him.
Sometimes I want to do things he doesn't like. And sometimes, since I have no friends here, I need to actually spend time with friends, so that necessitates travel.
|
|
janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,633
Jun 26, 2014 14:35:07 GMT
|
Post by janeliz on May 14, 2016 3:55:36 GMT
Absolutely. I've done trips to NYC and the beach with just my daughters.
|
|
|
Post by mirabelleswalker on May 14, 2016 5:56:53 GMT
Yes. I went to NYC without him in March for a few days, and I'm going to Spain with a girlfriend for 3 weeks in the fall. I go away on weekends without him quite frequently. It is not an issue.
|
|
sueg
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,046
Location: Munich
Apr 12, 2016 12:51:01 GMT
|
Post by sueg on May 14, 2016 6:55:40 GMT
I've done vacations without DH, both with and without kids. When the boys were young, I would often go to my dad's beach house for a week or two in the summer school break. There were also a couple of times when we drove from where we lived in country towns to larger cities for a few days, mainly for museum/zoo/gallery days. We no longer have children at home, and DH travels a lot for work. I've done a few solo trips - I flew to Manchester to catch up with a cousin who was visiting there from Australia, another time to Oxford for a knitting retreat. I also did a long weekend with one son to Madrid during one of his visits here - DH had work commitments he couldn't get out of, and Dom wanted to practice his Spanish in a real life setting.
|
|
paigepea
Drama Llama
Enter your message here...
Posts: 5,609
Location: BC, Canada
Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
|
Post by paigepea on May 14, 2016 7:31:42 GMT
We go on vacation with dh. I've gone to Vegas with my mom w/o DH or the kids for a family reunion, but I prefer to travel with him.
We take 1-3 vacations and 1-2 long weekends away per year and I enjoy the family time with the 4 of us. The vacations are so expensive that I couldn't imagine spending all of that money and leaving DH at home. I should say, DH wouldn't mind if the kids and I got invited somewhere and went without him, but he'd be lonely for us and would feel like he's missing out.
DH and I getaway for at least 2 trips a year - this year we're managing 4 getaways because he had a few conferences I tagged along to.
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 14, 2016 11:57:05 GMT
We take trips together, alone, with others, with kids, and any other way we can. I love my husband and truly enjoy traveling with him, but if he can't go? I'm packing my bag and going anyhow!
|
|
|
Post by gryroagain on May 14, 2016 12:01:09 GMT
I'm on vacation right now without my husband. Or kids, lol.
We have done many just me and the kids vacations over the years, dh was Army and time off was hard to get. I did feel badly sometimes, but dh would rather we go (weddings, gymnastics co petitions in a cool place, etc) than everyone sit at home. No point in that.
|
|
grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
|
Post by grinningcat on May 14, 2016 12:53:34 GMT
I go om vacations with and without my husband. I don't really understand why someone would not go on vacation without their husband, I believe that separate lives are very important in a relationship. Yes, do things together but not at the expense of individuality and fun. Sure it's fun to do things with hubby, but it's also just as fun to do them without him.
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on May 14, 2016 13:13:50 GMT
I used to take the kids to my parent's lake home w/o DH. He was fine with it. We both take long weekends with our friends. I can't really go to far away from him right now, due to his health issues. We both love a few days home alone
|
|
|
Post by whipea on May 14, 2016 15:03:24 GMT
No children but always vacation/travel alone - no husband or friends. It is my preference as having someone along clouds the vacation aspect. I like to do what I want when I want without thinking of others, to me that is why it is a vacation.
|
|
|
Post by Karmady on May 14, 2016 15:14:30 GMT
We go on lots of vacations without dh LOL. I've taken the kids to Europe twice without him and I've gone away and left them all at home. Dh works 6 days a week but he also gets 6 1/2 weeks of vacation a year. When we went to Europe, he chose not to go and stayed home alone in the peace in quiet. That was his decision. He loved it, we loved our time away. Win=win.
In 22 years of marriage, dh and I have never been alone together anywhere. This summer we are back in Europe but dh is coming with us. I'm hoping once our youngest turns 18 (in a year and a half), we can put our oldest son into respite care and I can get away with my husband for a change.
Dh knows that I'm an independent spirit and he tries to support me when I want to get away.
|
|
|
Post by gar on May 14, 2016 15:41:19 GMT
I don't really get the business about not enjoying trips without Dh....I find they're just a different sort of enjoyment. If we, Dh and I, holiday together it's 'us' time which we love. If I go with one or both of my DDs it's Mum and girl/s time - fantastic. If I have a weekend with a girlfriend we have a great time. Do I always wish he was there? No because that would be a different event altogether and my focus would be different. They all have valueanf I enjoy them all for what they are.
As far as the OP's question - if he really resents you going the maybe once or twice a year is enough.
|
|