How do you deal / interact with people with zero empathy??

I'm not usually a fan of tit-for-tat but have you ever brushed your DD off when she's saying that she's struggling with something?

The fact that she brushed off those interested in being friends with her makes me think there might be something else going on, because that, at least to me, hadn't got anything to do with empathy (or lack thereof). How does she interact with other people? Is she just not interested in other people, or is it just a lack of empathy?

But otherwise I agree with gar and dottyscrapper; with a 20 yo I would not show any empathy towards her if she isn't willing to show you any.

You can take this with a grain of salt from a person you probably would consider at the low end empathy (I'm not but due to people mistaking empathy for sympathy some assume I have no empathy)   Just talking to her about things that significantly, and adversely, affect you IS crying on her shoulder.  If you need specific help (I need you to mop the kitchen floor) than state such. Don't spend a long winded spiel about why.  Talk to one of your friends if you just need to vent about your conditions.

Also, empathy and sympathy are very different things. One can be empathetic yet not be sympathetic which is where I often am and where your daughter might be.

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else's skin and see the issues they face.

Sympathy is a feeling of compassion. You can be sympathetic without empathy.

You are wanting your daughter to have compassion on you.. to be sympathetic.  Depending on what she sees going on in your life from the outside she may have trouble mustering up that compassion. She might feel you do something that creates unnecessary suffering but aren't willing to change your life to change your complaint so she tunes out.

I am empathetic  to the point is can be paralyzing if I don't shut it down.  As for the girl's from school..... I also have a keen eye for false friends. People who want to use me for thier own agenda and your daughter may have had the same issues. I'd rather no friends than faux friends.

I wonder if some of this has to do with the parent child relationship. What I mean is she probably views you as the strong one. She hasn't yet evolved to the point where you two have more of a friendship type relationship. Is she capable of showing empathy to her peers?

This. How are her other social cues?

Hello sister! I think I love you!

Unless she is unhappy with her relationships or her friends or lack there of I would not jump to the conclusion that she has any mental or emotional problems. She may just be somebody who does not need or want many friendships.

I agree with those who have advised the OP to find somebody else to seek sympathy from. Your daughter is who she is and you just put unnecessary stress on both of you when you expect her to respond in the way you think she should respond or to do things the way that you do them. And yes I also agree with the poster who says that you are looking to cry on your daughter shoulderand you expect her to respond to you in a certain way because you respond to her in that way.

If you feel the need to want, vent to your friends. Your daughter clearly does not want to beThe one you complain too.